staceylevcns

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EXACTLY!!!! That's what i've been saying. Not that the NFL has ever had issues with viewership, mind you, but like yes.

oh okay, fair enough, fair enough! I bet you if Brady and the Patriots had of been able to properly complete it when he was still playing, it wouldn't be in talks to be banned.

Oh, totally -- the uproar over her being a 'distraction' from the game, and then the Chiefs still up and won the whole thing last year anyway. Eyes on the game are eyes on the game, however they get there.

I'm more of a college football guy than NFL when it comes right down to it, but the Eagles are a pretty solid team. The fact that they can pull off the quarterback sneak when literally no other team can do it consistently, and so of course they want to ban it now, is just hilarious to me.

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It's been kinda wild to see grown men get mad over her influence, and then also entertaining to see a bunch of teenage girls get into football because of her dating Travis.

You're an Eagles fan? Or is it just the lesser of two evils?

Listen, I support TSwift as much as the next guy, but as a gay man who's been a football fan since middle school bonding with my dad over the Buckeyes, there's just something wildly entertaining about seeing an entire league full of straight guys lose their minds over the effectiveness and legality of a play affectionately nicknamed the 'Tush Push'.

Plus let's be real, Philly's right there. Go Birds.

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Stacey: NO But i need to find it now. I LOVE those kinda videos. Stacey: Heck ya! i mean we relied on charity a lot growing up, so I like giving back if I can. Stacey: oh i know!!! It makes me sick. Stacey: Thanks Matt, it's nice that you notice that. You're un-brie-lievable Stacey: And that's valid, as hard as the feelings are, they're definitely valid. Try not to be so hard on yourself, honey.

Matt: Did you see that video of the guy who managed to save like a buttload of money and made the cashier go through the WHOLE receipt because he said he didn't have to pay like $2.00 on something. I can't remember the specifics, but it was a loooooooot Matt: That's sweet of you to plan to donate. There's a lot of people and animals who will appreciate the help Matt: From what I read (on Reddit), some stores toss perfectly good food. I know Starbucks would toss its pastries at the end of the day. They used to give them away as donations, but that stopped. Matt: Hard, maybe, but you strike me as someone who gets what she sets her mind to. You're awesome like that, Stace. So if you want that school job, you'll land it. I beleaf in you. Matt: eh, it's not about comfort. It's more that I'm annoyed with myself.

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No, I picture you in a suit with big sisscors cutting a huge ribbon. opening a park or something. It will happen one day if it's what you want, you're destined for greatness, Nicky! (You certainly know how to flatter a girl.)

Have you practiced punching a bag before imagining its my ex? I'm asking for science. To be fair, I've never seen you in action, so I don't know what goes on in those court rooms.

Thank you kindly.

PRIVATE: Yeah! Maybe the next time i babysit I can bring you along to help out so you can get some practice. You'd be too good if you weren't a bit of an idiot. You're gonna squeeze me into obscurity if you do that, but it'll be a hell of a way to go!

I need you to be honest with me, Lil S: when you picture me as mayor, is it with a top hat and monocle, like the guy on the Monopoly box? I think I'd love to be in that position one day, with enough experience. And there are elected judicial positions in the lower courts in Pennsylvania, so I guess it is possible. (Because you're just that talented, that's why.)

That's what wrapping your hands with tape is for, Stace -- to protect my hands when I have to punch someone for you. And I'll have you know that I'm good enough at my job that I don't have to point aggressively when a nice steady take-no-shit stare will do just as well.

...I'll allow it.

[PRIVATE:] Yeah? I've never babysat before, so I'll have to take your word for it, but I kind of hope you're right. I absolutely am an idiot, at least some of the time, but I'd probably be insufferable if I wasn't. Ugh, that's it, you're getting a really obnoxious, totally disgusting bear hug next time I see you. I will squeeze the insecurity out of you, Stacíta, I swear to god.

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I CAN, THAT'S HOW THIS STARTED! Is that something you'd wanna do one day? Be a district court judge? (how i it fair that I'm like 5 people and you're like 1?)

Good to know you don't wanan let me go, Nickypoo. You've never made me feel that way, don't worry. Can you stop talking about punching people now? Your hands are too precious to hurt by punching someone. You need them for your job!!! You have to point agressively at the opposition.

You're the strawberry, duh. I'm the chocolate.

PRIVATE: It's gonna be different when you're caring for someone else. I know i forget to eat a lot, but when I used to babysit I never forgot. I know I can tell you things! I promise. You're not an idiot, please don't talk about yourself like that. Nick!!! He hasn't, it's just something I feel, but that's something I gotta work on myself.

Oh trust me, I know it's not for real -- can you imagine me as mayor? City council, maybe, but I honestly think I'd be better suited as a district court judge or something. Eventually. Those are appointed positions anyway, so it's still a moot point. (But you ARE Andy. You contain multitudes, chiquita.)

Hell no, I'm not replacing you, you're stuck with me. And you're not allowed to say things like that, like there's anything wrong with you, because there's NOT, and I'll punch anyone who says differently. Including myself, if I made you feel that way. Never punched myself in the face before, but I'm willing to give it a shot?

Which one am I, though? The chocolate, or the strawberries?

[PRIVATE:] I like to think I would too, but I still have to set reminders to actually feed myself on a regular basis, so the validity of that is questionable. As long as you're okay with where things stand, Stace. I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me things, just because I'm occasionally an idiot. And for the record, I will also punch this GUY in the face if he's made you feel like you aren't dating material, full stop. Just sayin'.

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This is totally all hypatheticall you goof, but i'd vote you in to an elected position. I think you'd be great, and I'm not just saying that bc you're my bestie. (April!?!?!? So I need an Andy. okay okay.)

Yes, you do have me for that but the difference is is we're not dating! You need a version of me in your life that you wanna kiss AND share that stuff with. Maybe not another me though, I dont want to be replaced. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

It's why we work so well together. Like chocolate and strawberries!

PRIVATE: You'd be a great dad, Nick. In all seriousness, i know that you're really hard on yourself, but you'd be such a fun dad. When you're ready, your kids are gonna love you. Uuuh yes it's the first time? I wasn't exactly keeping him a secret because of the shovel thing, and he wasn't really a secret to begin with. I just didn't really know when to be like "so yeah im hanging out with a cool guy who I do adulty things with and we have fun but we're not looking to date" kinda thing? You know? But you don't have to worry. I'm not at risk of getting hurt. i know where he stands, I know where i stand. This is the closest i've gotten to a relationship in 50000 years since Im not exactly dating material so i'm just enjoying myself.

This presumes that: A) someone currently in city hall would hire me, B) I could leave my own firm short a partner, or C) literally anyone in Ashford Valley would vote me into an elected position. (Or, hear me out: April).

I mean, maybe, I guess, but all those things are what I've already got you for, you know? (And don't even joke about the socks, you'll jinx it.)

Executive dysfunction, my old friend. Even when we should be out at the club.

Do I want kids? Yeah, I think I do, actually. Would I be a decent dad? That's a different question entirely, and not one I think I should look at too closely right now. Wait, hold up, this is the first I'm hearing about a guy -- is this because I said I'd have to have a shovel talk with anyone you dated? Because I'm still gonna, and will absolutely kick his ass if he hurts or disrespects you, but like -- in a not-creepy or hyper masculine way, I swear.

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Stacey: Growing up how we did, couponing was like a sport. So I got real good at it. One day i'm gonna be one of those extreme couponers. Except instead of having a garage packed full of stuff, i'll donate to shelters or to people in my community that need thigns. Stacey: LOL trash apples, that would be sad. Stacey: I'm always down for a good time! Stacey: Exaactly. I wouldn't mind getting a spot in the school, but that might be a bit hard. Stacey: You don't have to tell me any time soon Matt. It's all about how comfortable you are and when you're ready. there's no time frame on that. I'll be there for you now, and whenever you're ready to chat about it.

Matt: I never got into couponing. I would go for the store brands more times than legit brands, especially after I heard that they tend to come from the same place anyway. Matt: My eyes read that as trash apples at first...hahah I think you're the only person on Earth that will say that's cute and I fucking love it. Matt: yeah...keep trusting your gut. You want a place you can grow in and that'll open the door for future opportunities if you like it there. Matt: Thanks Stace. I promise I won't keep it from you for too long. I want you to know what's happening in ye ol' noggin.

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Stacey: Mayyyybe Stacey: I got some coupons so snacks will be in abundance. Stacey: Trash angels is actually kinda cute, now we need to. Stacey: LOL i'm not surprised, that's what i was expecting ! Stacey: Just the vibes from some of the women in the office, that's all Stacey: That's okay, I'm always here when you wanna chat. Until then I'll provide snacks and enteratinment !!

Matt: Just how much snacks we talking here, Staces? Am I gonna need a bulldozer to push through the discarded wrappers and containers once we're done? We'll make trash angels in it. Matt:

Matt: don't act surprised by me using that GIF Matt: Why don't you think it'll be a good fit? Matt: I don't. Not right now at least. When I'm ready I'll poke you.

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Stacey: i'm the queen of snacks, dont you worry about me Mattikins. I'll bring looooots of snacks. Stacey: It's gonna be in May, I have a place set up but i'm not sure if it'll be a good fit yet. We'll see! Stacey: I'm sorry, Matt. You wanna talk about it?

Matt: Then you better bring enough snackage for two whole movies and the intermission in between 😉 Matt: if it's not enough, we'll order in Matt: When's graduation?!?! Did you get set up with a potential internship or something? I've never done the whole college thing outside of the classes needed to further my career. So, I don't know how things are done. Matt: better. Had a bit of a shit week due to personal stuff. Work's great. Just life has a way of punching you in the dick at times.

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Stacey: I'm down!!! I haven't seen that in eons Stacey: They've been okay, just busy. My final semester is winding down so that's kinda wild. Stacey: How've you been?

Matt: Y'know. We should watch the first one before diving into the new one. It's been yeeeeeears since I've seen it. Matt: How's things been since we last saw each other?

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Stacey: You got it handsome!! Ill bring beer and snacks.

PM || Matt & Stacey

Stacey: When are you free!? Matt: Sometime around 8 tonight. Taking care of somethings around here and then I need to swing by the station for about an hour. Matt: Meet at mine?

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i'm SO happy you've finally reached your epiphany moment. Now, you just have to actually get into a position at city hall. (I would be pretty good, you're right).

i'm sure you're gonna meet someone and it'll be like BAM. They're gonna be the person you want to message when something fun happens, or when you're stressed, or when you see that your fav brand of sock doesn't make the proper colors anymore.

THEY ARE. Dawh you're so sweet Nicky, between the two of us we'd get so distracted - you're probably right. NOT that that's a bad thing ofc.

Okay faiiiirrr. Do you want kids though? Like if you find the right person? I'm not projecting!!!! i'm not in a secret relationship or anything. I mean, I have been hanging out in adulty ways with a guy but we're not official or anything. He got out of a relationship and isnt really looking for anything right now so I'm just kind of vibing.

I mean, we both have zero chill and an intense drive to help people. And a healthy appreciation for waffles. ...Oh god, am I a half Mexican dude version of Leslie Knope? (You would be the BEST Ann-dy.)

Well yeah, but getting into that category of people I'll make time for is kind of a process. The right person would have to have the patience of a saint.

Fruit Loops are fucking delicious, hush your mouth, Stacíta. I'm not in any hurry though, and I'd probably just end up having enough fun with you that I forgot why we went out in the first place, is that sad?

I'm in my 30s now, I have to brace myself for it! ...Wait, hold up, are you projecting? Are YOU hiding a torrid love affair I don't know about??

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I totally think you would be, shuuuush. Ahahah I see what you did there Ann-dy MUAHA.

Look, you make time for those that are important yo you - right? The right person will be able to accept the fact that you're a driven, hard working person! You'd get alll the dates. I'm sure of it.

You give me a time and place and I'll be your wing woman! I know, I know, not that i really see myself in a relationship any time soon considering im loopier than a box of fruit loops, but that's besides the point.

Grandbabies!??!? You're practically a baby, she better not start talking about those too soon. Okay okay, Im sorry for thinking you might have had a secret lova and didn't tell me.

I don't know that I'd be half as entertaining or effective as Leslie, but you'd totally be my Ann, don't lie. Or maybe you could be a hybrid. Ann-dy.

It might be conducive to finding first dates, but then the workaholic, perfectionist, weirdly intense, inability to focus kicks in to NOT be conducive to second dates.

...I lost track of the metaphor there a bit, but I do appreciate your willingness to be my wing-woman. Same goes, you know. I'm here if you need me, but seriously doubt you do, 😉 'One day' is not this day, so the disappointment persists. If she starts talking about wanting grandbabies though, I'm out. You would be the first person I told!! Probably because I was overthinking and self-sabotaging, sure, but still -- the first!

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When are you free!?

PM from stacey: MATTIKINS. You wanna watch Daddy Pedro Pascal in Gladiator II with me?

FUCK YES!

When??????

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Uh yes you would. Waiiiit would you wanna be like Leslie Knope? I could be your office Andy!!!

You're so welcome, I'm happy to provide.

Uh being handsome helps with the whole dating scavenger hunt, duh? If you're hot, funny, smart, and kind you're kind of a whole package so like it shouldn't be that hard to find a match!?!?

A team based scvenger hunt? like what, you wanna go hit a bar together and we try and tag team a perosn to go on a date with you? I mean, I could do that, but I tooootally don't think it's necessary. One day she'll have 0 relationship based disappointment with you, I promise. She's just gotta be patient. I DONT KNOW I JUST WANTED TO ASK!!!!

I would NOT, nothing would ever get done. Not that I haven't considered running for office at some point, but at that level? NO thank you.

You really do, and 'side quests for my brain' is going to be stuck in my head permanently, I love that.

...I get where being intelligent might be an asset, but I'm not sure where exactly 'handsome' would come in (but thank you?). I could probably be helpful in a team based scavenger hunt, but on my own? I'd get distracted halfway through by something cool and more interesting I found along the way. I think it's just disappointment in general, on her part. And NO, of course not, I'm just as much of a disaster as ever, why would you think that??

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okay but that's adorable and i bet she sounds way better than i do when I sing it. I sound like a dying walrus. What do you think is going to be the next hyper fixation??

I am painfully aware of this feeling. Anya has been singing 'Popular' at the top of her lungs for months now. I still love the musical, but it's gotten a bit excessive at this point. I also made the decision (mistake?) of buying her a wand, and now she just runs around pointing at everything and saying 'ballgown' in this sort of whisper-shout.