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            play me ↓ ♡(ﾐ ᵕ̣̣̣̣̣̣ ﻌ ᵕ̣̣̣̣̣̣ ﾐ)ﾉ

06232023

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beneath my pasty skin

thin, saxe-colored ribbon??????

telephone wires?

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so many faces.....they are friends.

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prologue

back log

vhs crt

chromatic abberation

cathode ray tube

motion graphics in after fx

raspberry pie?

typewriter????

has the brain for it??

ouvre

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to speak to you feels to instead snap my wiry ankles in two.

will it still feel that way if i were simply lovelier?

if my body appearing delicate, delicate enough to break every single fragile bone, dolled up with feminine adornments?

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if

if

if i cut my hair

if i rub my skin till raw

if i sleep

if i don't eat

if i speak

if i instead sew my mouth shut

if i sit in the bath for hours

"if"

maybe then i'll find internal solace

will i forget?

maybe not. i pray i will. you were never the brightest anyway.

and i was never the strongest.

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so cold in here.....annoying.....

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laundry. 12.1.24.

i prefer to be organized with my schedules, sunday mornings i always do laundry, tidy up my room, and lay out my clean, ironed uniforms for the next week to begin, i find going to classes while looking unkept very unpleasant, distasteful, if i must say. mornings have been wintry and unwelcoming, my bare knees being frost nipped in the unsympathetic, yet eerily serene early morning wind chills. i plan to go clothes shopping soon, for retail therapy and to in general, find warmer clothes. most of my clothes are skimpy tops, skirts, and jeans from brandy melville and depop. i'm sick, the doctor said. with a cold, they said. i'm guessing from the temperature drop, some flurries here and there as well...maybe this is my karma for not dressing according to the weather, but for whatever reason, i find myself prioritizing looks over comfort (not a good trait to have especially if it results in getting sick...) changed the month on my calendar to december and scribbled down upcoming events (some that i dread....) as a reminder of what will come this month.

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at a cafe with a warm-hearted friend. they finally got my matcha order right :).

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foggy morning + matcha lattes.

i got up quite early today. i did not go to my classes by myself because a thoughtful friend offered to pick me up and drive me there. i stepped outside and as i walked out to the car the serene silence and view overtook my senses, though the cold was unwelcoming. a very calm start to my morning. i don't eat my breakfast though it is offered to me in the mornings, it makes me sick. any type of food in the morning, even just the thought of food in the mornings or sometimes at any given time, for whatever reason..makes me want to vomit. i was greeted with a mellow atmosphere when i stepped into the car, the temperature was more hospitable in there, thankfully. the cold nipped at my nose and knees, only a uniform sweater that i hate because of how thin and scratchy the material is, a short plaid skirt, and ivory-cream colored leg warmers that i had bought from brandy melville a couple of weeks ago during a retail therapy session to keep me warm all morning.

we visited a café, the aroma of coffee grounds was so strong that after i walked out of the small shop, the bitter scent stuck to my uniform, mixing with the scent of my perfume. it was a comforting scent. i ordered a matcha latte, my usual order for every café i stop at. matcha latte made with soy milk and sweet vanilla cold foam on top. almond milk tastes stellar with matcha as well, but i seem to prefer soy in my lattes. i was a bit disappointed because i had asked for a warmed matcha latte, barista had must have misinterpreted my words (i was asked to speak up multiple times) and maybe had thought i'd ordered an iced matcha latte, but it was alright with me...iced matcha is tasty and palatable as well, though in this foggy and cold weather, which is yet a graceful sight to see in the morning, seemed very unpleasant. i sat and stared out the window as i drank my latte, i did not finish it at the café because if i would have, then i'd be counted tardy for my classes. i ended up taking it to my class and finishing the drink there, ran on a matcha latte on an empty stomach for the rest of the day.

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i feel like a ghost at parties

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almost just cried over spilled milk.... almond milk....

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@whatdoidonow1996 THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME POST THIS !!! ur awesome dude!!

you can find the og on the pg4/tyw vinyl if anyone is wondering :)

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girl in pieces