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Sorry I haven’t posted in a while! Ever since Criminal Minds left Neflix I haven’t been able to watch it!

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SSA Tips And Tricks #11

As the holidays approach, please don’t start singing carols.. or remind Spencer it’s not longer Halloween. He gets sad.

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Phew! Sorry about the hiatus folks, the blog had to be put under some stress due to budget cuts! Fortunately, most of the agents agreed it’d be okay to continue the blog on as normal. More tips and tricks will come out soon! Stay tuned for more helpful ways to get around the workplace.

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SSA Tip #10

If you ever need to distract Reid, tell him to decipher a bunch of scribbles- oh wait- he’s currently watching a baby sensory video.. I guess that works for him too.

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SSA Tip #9

If you see any Agents sleeping at their desk, Please do the following:

Wake Up: Reid, Garcia, & JJ

Wake up with caution: Hotch, Rossi, & Morgan

DO NOT WAKE UP, ONLY IF YOU HAVE TO: Prentiss.

Last time someone woke up Prentiss, they got staples to the face.

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Just A Question…

Who the hell keeps putting a Jack-In-A-Box on Reid’s desk, he keeps cranking the handle and getting scared by it.

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Agents, just a reminder!

You can send in your own tips, tricks, and even asks for any agent of your choosing. We accept all helpful tips and tricks to help out your fellow agents and our team loves answering your questions. (Just take a look at pinned to see our guidelines and you’ll be good to go!)

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Attention Agents!

Our Asks and Requests are Open,

Using our askbox, you can ask our agents (Chief Aaron Hotchner, Senior Agent David Rossi, Dr. Spencer Reid, Agents Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau, Emily Prentiss, and Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia).

The only things we ask is:

- There be no nsfw asks (sexualwise)

~On that note, asks about relationships (reader x canon, canon x canon) are allowed.

- Be polite about it (agents will not answer these questions, head of media will)

- Lifestyle, Work life, personal preferences, and questions about other agents are also allowed.

Also, you can request tips, or provide tips from personal experience. In these cases, we will respond with a quick statement and/or have a few agents comment on it

Rules are the same,

- No nsfw

- Agents and Head of Media have the right to disagree

- Be polite

Ask at anytime, respond time varies but will most likely be answered!

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Not a tip, the agents have a question.

They’d like to know why they keep getting called cops, they’re not cops, they don’t dress like cops.

(Note from Head of Media: They totally look like cops.)

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SSA Tip #8

If you can understand Detective William LaMontagne Jr’s accent, please contact Chief Aaron Hotchner. Not many of us can take it anymore.

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Not a tip, just a notice.

I don’t know any agent’s phone numbers. That being said, my name is Spencer Reid and my phone number is 702-555-0103

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Warning:

To the agent who keeps changing Chief Hotchner’s name tag to A-Aron, though very funny, we have to ask you to stop.

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SSA Tip #7

Talking about your unit members behind their back is alright, just be aware that they will most likely find out. We’re good at our jobs.

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SSA Tip #6

We are aware of Analyst Garcia and Agent Morgan’s relationship. Yes, we are fine with it. No, we do not consider it sexual harassment and No, you cannot call either of them any nicknames they use for each other.

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SSA Tip #5

To those who gift Agent Morgan with doors he can kick down, you’re not funny. On that note, please do not send any inappropriate gifts or overboard them with any. Mugs, Gift cards, Phone cases are completely okay and are encouraged. Ties are also okay, but Agent Hotchner doesn’t need 158 of them.

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SSA Tip #4

Please stop harassing Dr. Reid, we are aware you love him. But saying “Step on me.” or “Break my back.” are not appropriate to say to our dearest doctor. Please apologize and/or send him a sorry card.

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SSA Tip #3

This has to do with Tip #2 as well, when Dr. Reid asks for sugar, please direct him towards it or at least find him one yourself. He will not only be sad but be very tired, we do not need a sleeping Reid on cases.