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I loved doing these stupid things on myspace.
1. Any scars?
Many.
2. Self harmed?
Refer to part one lol.
3. Crush?
hehe ye
4. Kissed anyone?
Like ever? I have a child. So obviously not.
5. Coke or Pepsi?
Coke (zero)
6. Someone you hate?
Kind of. Just people who are really shitty and I would prefer to never speak to or see them again.
7. Best Friends?
I have two. :-)
8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs?
Sure.
9. What's your dream job?
Federal government auditor. Hehe job starts in August.
10. Ever been in love?
Once or twice.
11. Last time you cried?
Today lol.
12. Favorite color?
Dark/foresty green.
13. Height?
5'2"
14. Birthday?
September 26th.
15. Eye color?
Light brown.
16. Hair color?
Auburn, red? I don't know anymore.
17. What do you love?
My dawg
18. Obsession?
Elden Ring currently.
19. If you had one wish, what would it be?
More time.
20. Do you love someone?
I do actually and it is terrifying.
21. Kiss or hug?
Hug.
22. Nicknames people call you?
baby grill
23. Favorite song?
In the aeroplane over the sea
24. Favorite band?
I don't really have one.
25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you?
Jesus christ I would not write that here lmao
26. Best thing that has ever happened to you?
Divorce and maybe meeting my current boyfriend
27. Something you would change about yourself?
My salary lol
28. Ever dated someone?
Duh
29. Worst mistake?
Marrying.
30. Watch the movie or read the book?
Read the book and then watch the movie and be a hater
31. Ever had a heartbreak?
Derr
32. Favorite show?
Maybe Dexter or Naruto lol
33. Best day of your life?
The day my daughter was born
34. Any talents?
I'm turning out to be decent at painting, and poetry depending on who you ask
35. Do you wish you could ever start over?
Sometimes
36. Any bad habits?
reacting poorly and strongly to kind of minor things
37. Ever had a near death experience?
A few
38. Someone I can tell anything to?
my boOoOoyfriend
39. Ever lost a loved one?
Yeah
40. Do you believe in love?
Yep
41. Someone you hate/Dislike?
My mooooooooooooooooooom! Get it? I'm muscle man.
42. Are you okay?
No lol
43. Relationship status?
I have a boyfriend now :-)
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literally my second day at this job and I some salesman made jokes about my appearance (relating to me evidently looking like a middle or high schooler) in front of the whole office and before the group could even stop laughing HR was at my desk telling me she'd pull him aside and set him straight like. bruh please don't it is not that serious. I have to work directly with that man, I handle his sales contracts nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
I'm so grateful I only have to work this job for like 8 weeks until the one I care about actually starts :'-)
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I rapidly fling back and forth from what I think is the happiest I have ever been and crippling anxiety and doom. That's it. That's the update.
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Being really hurt about something but you can't even tell anyone or talk about it because everyone thinks you're basically insane/dramatic/annoying every time you ever get upset so you're just not allowed cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool
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O-fishy-ficially finished with every last bit of work for my degree. It is done. I did it. Full time job that I dreamed of is secured and starting in more or less a month. I'll be living alone with my daughter within 3 or 4 months. My daughter is turning five and starting kindergarten. What a treat it is that the only deviation from this very long term plan of mine is a pleasantly unexpected addition to my life, a man who makes me feel so special and is so gentle. I hope to make him my boyfriend soon, when I am ready. I am absolutely killing it. I feel happy, loved, intelligent, hopeful, beautiful, kind. I am exactly who I want to be, and I like myself and my life more every day.
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I just finished my last project for my bachelor's degree.
LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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a great deal of the time I am forcing myself to suppress and regulate how intensely I am feeling and usually that feeling is angry or sad
today I am so happy my chest hurts.
my chest hurts.
I have never been so grateful to suffer.
apparently you can feel so good inside but it still has that voice screaming "KILL ME KILL ME AHHH" wild haha
#however I end up feeling about this any time in the future#I just want future me to remember that today#I was happy
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My heart is doing the palpitations thing I hate liking a man SO MUCH
I WANT TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND
WHYYYYY
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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stop playing it cool, just be passionate and intense and insane and whoever sticks around is meant for you
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the black smoke is rising from my lungs again and into my head my thoughts are getting hazy.
everything is always my fault, everything I do is wrong. i'm not sleeping i'm up thinking about what i said and struggling and trying to feel like i'm not constantly betraying myself by agreeing i am always ruining everything by feeling what i do, thinking what i do, and saying both out loud
and i don't think it's worth it
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“I have found that the more you like someone the more attracted you are to their little quirks
Maybe one day you’ll like my quirks”
god help me he thinks he likes me more than I like him,
god help him honestly
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