squidong

[squidong]

got chased by a skeleton but when they caught me they just gave me a kiss and hug. turns out it was an xoskeleton.

[squidong]

Part of getting older is realizing how absolutely insane it is that basically every form of media is constantly trying to convince us that the most interesting moments of the lived human experience are happening in HIGH SCHOOL…… girl who gives a flying fuck what 16 year olds are doing.

[squidong]

Shoutout to my dad who accidentally moved into an up and coming black lgbt neighborhood and was very disappointed to learn that all of his “new friends” weren’t actually interested in how to use iNaturalist or where he saw coyotes on his walks 😔🙏🏻

[squidong]

That poor pest control guy did not know what he was getting into, but given the state of my yard i feel like he should have known what he was getting into.

[squidong]

pro tip if you want to start modding your clothes but are scared, start with the shit you never wear

because if you already dislike it, you really have nowhere to go but up AND you can end up with a cool one-of-a-kind garment that you made and that you really like!

AND it’s better than just throwing it away

[squidong]

you literally have shitty hide armor and a dull ass shortsword. let me guess. your loot is 6 gold coins too? 🙄

[squidong]

WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE

[squidong]

Don’t a let a little thing like being a boy keep you from being a girl

[squidong]

for like a decade I kept getting the advice of "don't ruminate" but also "sit with your emotions" and I was like What The Fuck Does That Even Mean. until someone finally explained it in a way that makes sense:

so there's the emotional part of your brain ("I'm embarrased") and then there's the storytelling part ("all my friends hate me and I'm a piece of shit"). when people say "don't ruminate" what they mean is don't feed the storytelling part

you tend to the emotion ("I'm feeling x. why am I feeling that? how do I move forward given that information? what's something nice I can do for myself right now to cope with this?") but you treat the storytelling part like a little goblin that's trying to be as unhelpful to this whole process as possible. this doesn't shut the storytelling goblin up completely, but it keeps it from causing so much chaos and over time it stops talking so damn much

it's basically like if you were trying to comfort a friend. you'd validate their emotions, but you wouldn't sit there and let them call themself a piece of shit. do that for yourself

sharing this in case someone else is also like Why Didn't Someone Just Say That

[squidong]

god i never told you guys but a couple weeks ago at work i heard a guy say, and i closely paraphrase, "So I was out with my partner--republicans hate it when i say that. My heterosexual partner Jessica--" and i was straight up crying before he finished his sentence. fully diegetic convergent linguistic evolution live in the workplace

[squidong]

googling shit like "why do i feel bad after hanging out with my friends" and all of the answers are either "you need better friends" (i don't; my friends are wonderful) or "your social battery is drained, you need to rest and regain your energy levels" (i don't; i've got tons of energy, it's just manifesting as over-the-top neurotic mania). why is this even happening. it's like some stupid toll i have to pay as a punishment for enjoying myself too much

[squidong]

[squidong]

New dream house plan: An underground home in the middle of a city, with the aboveground part set up as a public park where people are free to be and spend time as they please.

There would naturally be more than one escape route from the residence (only illustrating one tunnel here to simplify the diagram for clarity), but the lid at each entrance (protedted by a discreet locking mechanism, naturally) would be disguised as a manhole cover. So instead of being aware of there being a little comfy underground apartment beneath the park, people would only know me as the guy who is sometimes seen climbing in/out of the sewer systems.

[squidong]

girl shocked to discover that inaction can have consequences too

[squidong]

some tiny little guys have established themselves on my car mirrors- first noticed them as little specks this summer, they’re getting to be a respectable size

I love that some lichens are like, highly sensitive habitat specialists that only survive in idyllic, pristine conditions, and other lichens are just like, fuck it. Car mirror.

[squidong]

Normally i save this for my crochet sideblog but this caused physical pain so im subjecting you all to see this

Yes i have a queen size bed

Yes this takes up half of it

Yes i timed it.... It took just over 15 hours

Yes my back, shoulders, and arms hurt way too much

Anyways yeah i used about 4 whole skeins of bernat blanket yarn, a whole 5 pounds box of polyfil, and i hand painted the eyes

Enjoy

[squidong]