squidong

[squidong]

being a female knight fucking sucks. every squire boy i get turns out to be an adult woman with short hair who's just in it to sensually strap my armor to me. CHOP CHOP bitch the French are trying to sack our castle!

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[squidong]

supposedly if i finish my work i can play video game as reward. but i see through my lies. i can play video game BEFORE i finish work, and then not do work at all.

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[squidong]

straight people are really like "yeah my gay radar was going off for him" and then they're the wrongest they've ever been in their lives

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The Randomizer

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I don’t use the crab emoji enough

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[squidong]

An early Halloween cartoon for Guardian Books

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I know it's useless to ruminate, but I've been thinking about the way I was raised, and the indirect ways I was taught that the rules and standards are different for me and for other people.

I was taught to never judge anyone, but also that I should not embarrass my family by acting or appearing any way that people would judge. I was taught that it was rude of me to talk on and on about things that are boring, but also that it was rude of me to not listen attentively when someone else was talking on and on about things that bore me. That people were allowed to take their anger out on me, but that I was not allowed to be angry at anyone or anything. That everyone's feelings are vaild and their actions are understandable, except for mine of course.

If they ever heard me say this, my family would argue "nobody ever explicitly said that to you, word-for-word, at your face, so therefore none of this is true", but they did, indirectly and inadvertently, teach me that I must always be nice, patient, polite, understanding, and good to people, but that it's preposterous of me to expect anyone else to treat me as nicely as I'm expected to treat them.

I was taught what is, and what is not, the appropriate way to treat other people, and to unconsciously understand that I don't really count as "people".

[squidong]

Its like. It's it's really something that the richest man in the world desires internet clout more than anything. Like he wants specifically the kind of clout you get on reddit or 4chan by being a poster like he wants to be a high tier Video Gamer he wants the specific kind of respect you get from being a competitive smash player who posts really good online. But he's just not good. At any of these things . And it's really something. That he has more money than god. But he can't be happy because he can't get a genuine laugh out of the twitch chat.

[squidong]

[“Oftentimes when we think about preparing for penetrative sex, we think about the willingness and readiness of the penetrator: a penis becoming a boner, a dildo being lubed up. And yes, sadly, a phallus can usually make its way inside a canal whether the canal is ready or not. But wet and swollen pussies and rectums and throats are, simply put, better for fucking.

That’s one of the many advantages of fisting for people who enjoy being penetrated: unlike a cylindrical phallus, it requires patience and finesse to get the considerably bumpier shape of a hand inside. It’s easier for most penises to slip into most vaginas or rectums, but “easy” doesn’t necessarily translate to “more pleasurable” for anyone involved. Fisting emphasizes what the fistee wants and needs in order to relax and open, which changes the act of penetration from “let’s get this done” to “let’s take our time.” It’s not that it always requires hours of tantric foreplay: I’ve seen people swallow hands in a matter of minutes. But fisting tops and bottoms do need to be attuned to each other more than in any other kind of intercourse.

Adamczak mentions fisting several times in her piece (“a closed hand around a dildo, of lips around a foot, of a vagina stretched over a fist”). To my mind, getting fisted is the ultimate act of circlusion, even if the term itself refers to the penetrating body part. Fisting necessitates communication, patience, finesse, embodied listening, and active breathwork. This may go some way toward explaining why fisters tend to enter a meditative, trance-like state. Fisting requires intentional engagement from the bottom, because in order to take a fist you really have to breathe deeply, to communicate about slowing down or wanting more, to reach for the poppers, to ask for the lube. And these are all things bottoms could be doing all the time, but fisting takes us out of our assumptions that the bottom is there to satisfy the top’s lust, to simply take it. A fistee must be a size queen, someone who loves to be filled up with something massive. Opening to a fist is a trust fall for everyone involved. When your hand is deep inside someone, you can feel their heart beating back against you. Sometimes when I’m up to my wrist in an aroused, engorged bottom, watching and feeling and listening to and smelling a partner so aroused they’re thrashing and bearing down and grasping back and contracting over and over, I think: Why would you fuck a hole that isn’t turned on? Sure, I take pride in turning people on and driving them insane with ecstasy, but fucking an engorged hole is just more fun, like bouncing on a trampoline or being tossed into the air by a taut parachute, with all the verve that inspires.

It’s not just penises that enjoy being circluded either. Clit heads respond to pressing and smashing and mashing, especially once they’ve been teased into arousal. The suction of a mouth or pump toy vacuum sealed around the vulva can create the feeling that your junk is swollen enough to put inside of something or someone. “What matters is not what parts a body possesses, but rather, which parts are put into action,” concludes Adamczak, and this is a queer manifesto bigger than circlusion, bigger even than fisting. When we reinvent and remap our anatomy for the purpose of pleasure, we leave behind inherited anxiety and shame around what our bodies are capable of, opening wide to engulf the future.”]

tina horn, from why are people into that? a cultural investigation of kink, 2024

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💯🙏💛🟨👍

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The one thing men in the 1700s did right was have long hair they tie back into a low ponytail with a little ribbon and also have a few stray strands at the front. Almost everything else they did that century was inexcusable though

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i hate writing smut.

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nodding my head and going "yes!" while reading problematic media so everyone knows i endorse everything happening and i think its awesome

[squidong]

people are saying everything is a love language nowadays. and they right. love is in everything u fucking geniuses