squidong

[squidong]

i just heard the phrase “if you wouldn’t trust their advice, don’t trust their criticism” for the first time and i don’t think i’ve ever needed to hear anything more

[squidong]

Every time i purchase a moderately expensive item the Karl Marx on my shoulder is like "For shame... you purchase yet another pair of jeans when you have 5 already at home, you despicable commodity fetishist? In my time, a man with five outfits would consider himself blessed beyond measure, and yet you want for more, while there are children starving in the world??" to which the second Karl Marx on my other shoulder says "Objection! Those 5 pairs of jeans all wildly uncomfortable or have holes in the ass, due to the decline of clothing quality driven by the fast fashion industry, unfortunately making this purchase a necessity... Plus, by purchasing a slightly more expensive pair of jeans from an independent brand, seeking quality over 'brand recognition', they are deliberately trying to avoid engaging in conspicuous consumption!" to which the third Karl Marx clinging to my back like that beetle from Doctor Who says "Remember, my friend; the less you eat, drink, buy books, go to the theatre or to balls, or to the pub, and the less you think, love, theorize, sing, paint, fence, etc., the more you will be able to save and the greater will become your treasure which neither moth nor rust will corrupt — your capital. Buy the jeans," to which I say "I don't know if any of you have actually read Karl Marx"

[squidong]

OK so I don't usually bring personal stuff to this blog but I am being hunted for sport by my book club for the way I read my books and I just want to check how badly I have misjudged what is "normal" in this situation lol

So far I have been called "unhinged", "profoundly disturbed" and a number of variations thereupon for my habit of just... closing the book. Which I guess isn't what everyone else is doing. Apparently.

Also please, if you have very strong feelings about this, yell to your heart's content - I can direct you to an entire book club of people who will yell right along with you 😅

[squidong]

you: wait, babe… we can’t fuck yet… you aren’t wearing protection…

your vampire lover: protection? what do you mean prote- oh ok so fuck you first of all

you, holding these:

[squidong]

[squidong]

hey dude, idk how much you remember from the party last night but- yeah, everyone saw your want. yeah no it was pretty late and winding down so it was quiet enough that every single person there saw it throbbing and twitching in your chest and so wet with hunger it was glistening under the kitchen light. they said it looked like it was reaching for something

[squidong]

shoutout to all of the people who would qualify as ‘bad bisexual representation’ if they were fictional. aka me

[squidong]

every time i see someone call kirk and spock the oldest ship, i'm filled with the urge to go "hmm actually the holmes and watson girlies have been here for a hundred years now", and i refrain because i know the natural conclusion of this game is gilgamesh and enkidu

[squidong]

inside of you there are two intestines.

one of them is large, and the other is small.

[squidong]

the scary part about getting better is that there's this constant fear that things will go back to what they once were

[squidong]

they should invent an energy drink that leaves significant mineral deposits in your body i want it looking like a limestone cave in there

[squidong]

take everything I say with a hint of garlic, ginger, spring onions and a dash of soy sauce

[squidong]

john donne really deserves to be more widely appreciated for coining BOTH the iconic phrases “no man is an island” and “ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee” in one paragraph. and he’s also the flea fucking poem man. the range

[squidong]

do u think omegaverse acknowledges covid-19 and the generation of people who permanently lost their sense of smell like how are they all scenting each other now is the omegaverse economy in shambles

[squidong]

god grant me the strength to write my weird porn, the serenity to write my weird porn and the wisdom to write my weird porn

[squidong]