squidong

[squidong]

extremely dangerous roads today and i was going a respectable 20mph-25mph on a rural road, sliding 50% of the time, down a hill so steep there's warnings year round and residents outside monitoring the road. and this fucker in a raised red pickup behind me was on my ass blasting his horn the whole time. My Friend, i am in a subaru crosstrek. you say the word and i'll slam on my breaks sending your compensation waggon flying as the ice forces it to use my faggotmobile like a stunt ramp. i'll record it. i'll email your family the MOV file of your lifeless corpse smashing through the windshield and falling 8ft into the snow. i'll set it to Free Bird

[squidong]

burning food is an inherited trait

[squidong]

earlier today my brother asked me if i know the date and i was like "28th. because i know that tomorrow is the 29th because the 29th is when my industrial magnet comes." and he was like "why cant you just know the date?"

[squidong]

reading non-fiction will have you standing up and giving ted talks to your furniture

[squidong]

[squidong]

do we think chocolate guy is gay?

[squidong]

This is a strong contender for my favorite exchange I’ve ever seen on the internet

[squidong]

[squidong]

me as a 14th century knight: this sucks i'm gonna fms (translator's note: fall on my sword)

[squidong]

For Years my brother has been fucking with me by periodically texting me to say Jimmy Carter had finally died. Today the bit has paid off.

The response to my reaction at work was “what do you MEAN ‘for real this time’?????”

I fucking hate it here I’m crying

[squidong]

Don’t talk shit about your S/O to me because I’ll never forgive them. You might forget the time he scratched the new car and tried to convince you it was your fault but I’ll never forget and I’ll never like him.

[squidong]

CATE BLANCHETT as GALADRIEL The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (2003)

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[squidong]

chronic fatigue from mental illness and neurodivergency isn't something you can just will your way out of. your nervous system is part of your body. your brain is an organ. the fatigue is real. you're not lazy. so be kinder to yourself. be gentler with your bodymind.

[squidong]

For the purposes of this poll, do NOT count the following:

Your own birth (unless there were complications/urgent concerns)

Routine check-ups or scheduled-in-advance appointments that just happened to be at a hospital

Visiting or accompanying someone else to the hospital

Use your discretion as to whether to count visits to urgent care.

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[squidong]

most important thing to remember about being a woman is if youre married you have to go under the covers with your husband and laugh cutely and play wrestle so when you die to progress the narrative he can remember it in slow motion montages

[squidong]