spoonful-of-insulin - Tumblr blog

[spoonful-of-insulin]

“If you’re reading this, you must be in dire need of a change. The same thing happened to me, long ago. I’d lost sight of what mattered most in life… real connections with other people and nature. So I dropped everything and moved to the place I truly belong.”

[spoonful-of-insulin]

If you can’t handle me at my 502 mg/dL, you don’t deserve me at my 105.

[spoonful-of-insulin]

(insp.) “You’ll see the world and you’ll come to learn that…”

[spoonful-of-insulin]

A Short List of Shenanigans My Parent’s Dog Has Engaged In:

This is Arwen, she’s a Husky/Kelpie mix and a little Asshole:

“I wonder if she can jump?” my dad asks the first five minutes we have her.  She perks up at the word, and clears a six-foot fence form sitting on the ground. “Oh.”  Says dad. “Shit.” Later that night she got up on the counter and ate three pounds of corned beef in roughtly 68 seconds but this was considered part of the learning curve of having a new dog.

I wake up at 4 AM to the sound of the toilet being flushed repeatedly in the hall bathroom, and assume plumbing is now posessed by angry and wasteful ghosts.   I get up to disconnet it and find her in the Bathroom, standing to flush the bowl, then shoving her head in to drink the running water.   I’m not totally awake, so I stand there like an idiot trying to understand this, and my sister gets up to see what the noise is, sees the same thing and also stands there.  Fiance notices my absence and does the same.   Mom eventually wakes up and finds us standing around like very confused zombies and almost joins the parade of baffled zombies before shreiking “THE WATER BILL!” We got her a circulating water bowl after that.

My parent’s don’t have AC, but they haveone of those “fridge on top, pull-out-freezer below” fridges.  Last summer, we were remarking that we might need to shave her so she didn’t get heatstroke, to which she looked up and made a disgusted noise at us. …Then got up, used the dishrag to pull open the freezer and climbed on top of the frozen vegetables, stretching out and sighing contentedly.  “Arwen,” Mom began, but was interrupted by a loud ‘WHAAAaaaaarrr?” from Arwen.  “Ok you can stay there for now but we’re getting you a kiddie pool so you have to get out when we get back.  Don’t eat anything.” She ate a bag of frozen green beans and farted for three days straight.

Took her walking along the lake with the long lead so she could sniff things to her hearts content.  She went about shoving her head in the undergrowth, usually coming up with her head covered in leaves and pollen. Except for the bush where she came back out with a 7-foot Bull Snake wrapping itself around her ehad and neck, trying it’s best to strangle her before she can eat it.   She immediately ran back to me, the parts of her face not occupied with the snake arranged in a gleeful expression of “Look!  I found Snacks!” I screamed, not immediately regognizing that it wasn’t a rattler, and fell, splitting my knee on a rock.  The screaming made her let go of the snake, but I still had to grab her and wrestle the snake off her because it lacked the sense to just scuttle away.  I finaly got it lose from her (Despite her best effort to continue trying to eat it and turned around to fling it off the trail-  -And directly into the face of one of my 90-year-old neighbors who’d come out to see what the screaming and profanity was, making her collapse. I’m pretty sure being told “I accidentally threw a snake at my neighbor.” was the highlight of that EMT’s day.  Dottie was unharmed but she still doesn’t speak to me.

One day, we left her in a Harness and overhead tether in the (at the time) unfanced back yard so she could enjoy some relatively free-range outdoors time.  I walked by the window not a minute later to find her completely GONE, and race out to the yard to find her.  It took me a good heart-pounding five minutes to realize the overhead tether was goign UP into the ancient silver maple and realized that  1. Arwen can apparently do something really weird with her shoulders where they pop out sideways, allowing her to bear-hug the tree and  2. climb a good 40 feet into the three to fight 3. A porcupine, which i didn’t even know LIVED out here. Fortunately, Porcupines weigh considerably less than Awen and she couldn’t get a good enough foothold to get all the way up to it, but I still had to climb up there and lower her down, barking dog profanities at the porcupine the whole way.

My parents recently acquired a mechanized recliner which has been instumental inmom’s hip surgery recovery.  Execpt that Awen Also likes lounging on the furniture, and is more than capable of hitting a large, elder-friendly button with her paw.  So now when she gets back from a walk or the dog park she makes a beeline for the living room, get in the recliner and pushes the button until it’s flat and stretches out in it.  My parents didn’t have a problem with this because she gets out of the chair when they ask her (Mom even tells her “Go get my chair ready” in winter because she does a good job pre-warming it), until last winter when Arwen taught my dog Charlie, another devoted couch animal how to do this. One afternoon there was a tremendous outburst fo barkign and snarling from the living room and we rished in to find both dogs in the recliner, Charlie on the fully-reclined back and Arwen on the elevated seat and foot rest, bellowing at eachother for control of the recliner, thier movments having pitched it back to it’s two hind feet, the device swaying to and fro like a leather covered boat upon the high seas, a furry mutiny on board.  Neither dog was willing to yeild the plush throne, nor to listen to the humans yelling at them to knock it the hell off, until Arwen tackled the usurper, kocking him off and managing to cantaleiver the recliner clean over, flipping it into the hall, both dogs and all humand miraculously unharmed. She still doesn’t let him sit in it.

I love her so much.

(If you got a laugh out of this, please consider donating to my Tip Jar or Paypal to get Arwen (and Charlie!) nice treats)

[spoonful-of-insulin]

when the voice actor and character are the same person

[spoonful-of-insulin]

Me: I had low blood sugar.

Them: oh? What did you eat to bring your numbers back up?

Me: the kitchen… I ATE THE WHOLE KITCHEN!!!

[spoonful-of-insulin]

I’m so in love with the idea of Lexie Grey getting ready for her wedding. Of course she’d look beautiful, and Meredith, her maid of honor, will be there supporting her because she knows they’re meant to be (her other sister will be there too). Everyone knows Mark and Lexie are meant to be, it’s a known fact. And even though Jackson and Lexie used to have a thing, he’d still be a groomsman because he knew there was no one better for Lexie. Derek would be the best man. Zola and Sofia would be the most adorable flower girls, and Bailey would be the cutest ring bearer. But do ya know what the best part of all of this is? Everyone would be happy.

[spoonful-of-insulin]

“WHAT DO WE WANT”

“CUTE CLOTHES”

“WHEN DO WE WANT THEM”

maybe in like a year or two when im hotter and skinnier so i can look good in them

[spoonful-of-insulin]

buzzfeed articles talk about tumblr all the time as if the buzzfeed contributors are anthropologists observing us in our natural habitat

[spoonful-of-insulin]

Just an experiment: Like/Reblog if you want a Rooster Teeth original 5 founders episode of the podcast.

[spoonful-of-insulin]

In case anyone is wondering what Joel does at RT…he plays with pups.

[spoonful-of-insulin]

LOOK AT THIS AND I PROMISE ALL OF YOUR ANXIETY, AND ANY OTHER TROUBLES WILL GO AWAY.

[spoonful-of-insulin]

undefined

Are you ready to go, Max?

[spoonful-of-insulin]

“Dude, stop following me.”

[spoonful-of-insulin]

[spoonful-of-insulin]

Achievement Hunter: Now → Then

[spoonful-of-insulin]

Marvel doesn’t want to see this kid break his neck, so everyone from [the studio] was like, “Don’t! Don’t!” And Joe [Russo] just started salivating, “Just do it!” And he did it — and stuck it! Like… he bummed me out. - Chris Evans