spitefulfemme

[spitefulfemme]

i need people to understand the difference between fem and femme. i am not just “feminine” or “masculine,” i am a femme. i am traditionally feminine in a way that exists outside of everything it means to be traditionally feminine— outside of men, outside of the patriarchy, outside of heterosexual concepts of gender entirely. my gender identity is femme, my lifestyle is femme, my very being is femme. i revolve around butches and other femmes and other lesbians in general and it is so much more than just femininity.

[spitefulfemme]

I'm sick *cough cough*

[spitefulfemme]

you've heard of sundress season for femmes but what about sweater season for butches???? let's get a round of applause for butches in sweaters!!

[spitefulfemme]

a butchfemme dynamic isn’t about the butch doing everything for the femme or vice versa… it’s both of us looking at each other and saying “you do so much for me, let me take care of you” and i think that’s so important to recognize. you shouldn’t be doing everything for your partner without them giving you everything in return. the ways you spoil each other might look completely different and that’s okay, but one person shouldn’t be carrying the brunt of the relationship. that’s not what being butchfemme means.

[spitefulfemme]

how is being a trans woman not feminist as hell. what isn't feminist about someone who wants to be a woman, someone who desires womanhood, someone who views womanhood in a positive light, someone who views womanhood as a blessing, someone who wants to fight to be a woman in a society that tells us that being a woman is bad because women are stupid, weak and defenseless.

how is it not feminist as hell to say no to that and to want to uplift one's self and other women by proving that's not the case. how is it not feminist to want to encourage other people who view womanhood as a positive and welcoming thing to walk that path. in a world where we tell people being a woman is a bad thing, someone who still fights to be that gender despite everyone trying to hold them back and to tell them nobody WANTS to be a woman, this is one of the most feminist things you can do.

to stand tall and say that you're a woman despite what people tell you, that you're a woman despite how you look, sound, and act, to correct other people when they say that nobody wants to be a woman or that being a woman is a bad thing or a tragedy, to be there for other women and to remind them they're not stupid, weak, sex toys, or useless... this is all feminism. this is all passion for womanhood and making sure women are taken care of... trans womanhood is quite literally the peak of feminist ideals and behaviors- don't get it twisted.

[spitefulfemme]

i love my handsome girlfriend

[spitefulfemme]

i’m so tired of tiktok lesbians talking about a “masc shortage” when the closest thing to a butch woman they can handle is ellen degeneres

[spitefulfemme]

psa. if we’re mutuals, we’re automatically friends. u don’t need to say things like “sorry to bother” or “sorry im annoying” bc ur not. ur my friend. u can come to me for anything. u need help? im here. wanna chat? hmu. just wanna gush abt your muse? go for it. we’re friends. ily.

[spitefulfemme]

I never understood how the fuck lesbians even become terfs, even as a cis lesbian it gives me trust issues so thank you for making this a safe space for all lesbians

How people join a hate group I'll never know, but I'm happy to be of service

[spitefulfemme]

Smith College Girls for i-D magazine, 2004.

Photographed by Richard Kern

[spitefulfemme]

no no see, domesticity IS hot. how intimate it is to make food with someone, to share a bed, to brush your teeth at the same sink, to shower and use the same towels and the same laundry soap, to grocery shop and hold hands through the aisles, to be cornered in the kitchen to make out while a pot of pasta boils over on the stove. to fall asleep and hear them snoring softly and laugh at the little trail of drool out of the corner of their mouth. to spend money together and share chores and pick on each other for your weird habits. it's not always perfect and beautiful, but it's comfortable and familiar and I just think it's neat.

[spitefulfemme]

Pull her in by the carabiner 😎

[spitefulfemme]

femme who is a perfectionist and craves academic validation x butch that makes her forget her own name and what she was gonna say with just her mouth

[spitefulfemme]

“transphobes dni” but you think trans men are lesbians, like terfs do. bioessentialism in supposedly progressive packaging is still bioessentialism.

I don't think all transmen are lesbians. In fact, I know most are not. But to deny the fact that some are and still identify with lesbianism and/or butchness is to deny history and lacks nuance. These identities are here to explain complex lived experiences. Transmen are not a monolith, especially when we add intersectionallity (ie. race) to these discussions. Nothing will ever be as cut and dry as the internet wants it to be. I believe any trans person can lable themselves as a lesbian. I am not here to police how trans people identify and encourage all trans people to use labels that they feel best fit their identity. This account is a safe space for all trans people regardless of how they identify, especially for trans people whose identity is debated and invalidated. I love you all <3

[spitefulfemme]

The lesbian sex book. Wendy Caster, Julie May; 1993.

[spitefulfemme]

me sexting: if that is amenable to you

[spitefulfemme]

btw your misogyny is palpable if you think it's okay to treat AFAB trans people like shit for no reason other than they're AFAB. it's clear as day you still see them as women, and that you're treating them poorly strictly because of that factor alone. it's not because trans men are men- let's be real here. people don't treat trans men like we're idiots because we're men.

like, you can say it's because you hate men all you want, but this exact same treatment is also applied to AFAB people with other trans identities like non binary, genderqueer, genderfluid, and so on. this treatment is also applied to certain intersex and close-to-intersex people. it's because we're assumed to be assigned female at birth (not that all of us are- it's just an assumption), which is still a woman to every and any queerphobe.

i'm not even assigned female at birth and i've watched people change to treating me like i'm stupid in real time. i would go from Respected Smart Man to Stupid Woman in a matter of seconds. like we get it. you cannot divorce yourself from your own misogyny and your ingrained hatred of people assigned female at birth. you gotta work on that. it's not helping amab trans women to bully afab non binary people out of identifying as trans. you're not doing trans women a favor by being misogynistic. come on. do better.