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Now this is a story all about how

My license plate got flipped, turned upside down

And I’d like to take a shit on a couple of guys

And my mom

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My mom got scared and said

wsflkhlg

I whistled for a cab and when it came near

The license plate said

WISCONSIN

And had a dice in the mirror

If anything I could say

nenenenenenenenene

*punching noise x30*

Directions

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So tonight was a wild ride for a lot of reasons.

First, J. I got to hang out with him a lot. I feel like a lovesick schoolgirl. I was studying in the lounge cause it’s the only place I can study when J walks in and sits on the same couch as me. And we’re talking about japanese cclass for a bit and I find out he’s in the same major as me just a physics concentration. He’s also a sophmore. So I was making fun of him and saying math was boring and we were joking around a lot. 

Then later he offered to teach me pool. Except T decides to play with him instead. Then M1 comes down and is playing against J too. But I didn’t mind cause we kept talking about stuff and every once in a while J wouldn’t understand something since he’s not from the U.S and I’d explain it to him and it was so cute.

Then J went out to smoke (iffy about that as i’m against smoking) and said he’d call me to let him back in. So when he called me I went out by accident but forgot my I.D. So we both got locked out and had to get Mark to let us back in.

Also when I told him it was my 8th time getting locked out he made the face he makes when he can’t believe something and it’s so adorable.

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What if you, wanted to go to heaven, but god said, “Pika pika fuck you”

He’d have every right to 

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Vampire Memes!

posts instagram selfies. account is just photos of empty rooms

hovers discretely an inch above ground to appear taller

 *sips blood* ah! Probiotic

*minor problem occurs* *leaps out window*

“Organic food is so expensive”

*at a renaissance faire* THIS IS OFFENSIVE

 constant mid-life crisis

“Not all of us know when our midlife is, Sharon”

sunset motivational posters  

*14th cent liturgical hymn plays* I REMEMBER THIS SONG *headbangs*

OLIVE GARDEN IS VAMPIRE PHOBIC

 *random hissing*

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the constant suggestion by popular media that vampires and werewolves are inherently opposites/enemies is quite frankly offensive. they are best friends. nocturnal monster buddies.

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So today i just up and switched majors. Yep. No more biology education, It’s now TESOL. Reasons are I’m failing chem and I also enjoy learning other languages more than science.

I also found out I’m gonna have to talk to my mom about taking winter or summer classes cause I’m gonna be behind two. Those are gonna cost me an extra couple thousand dollars apparently. That’s always fun. 

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Stop 👏 telling 👏 vampires 👏 to 👏 smile!!!

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deadpool is honestly more wholesome than any of the mcu movies

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Ok but actually liking J is so wild cause it means 1) I’m not aro 2) idk if I’m ace and 3) i have actual feelings for a human person.

Like with ex #1 that was middle school and ho boy was that a mess. And Ex #2 in HS was even worse cause he creeped me out. And I only went out with them cause they were available. But this time I actually like J.

Anyways a sum of the day. I’m failing chemistry. I got J’s number but haven’t texted him and still won’t ever in my life lmao. And found out some tea.

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Our phone screen is the lamp, and we are the moths.

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Funny Memes. Updated Daily! ⇢ FunnyJoke.tumblr.com 😀

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loose, foot loose, put on your fuckin foot loose, feet, foot feet, dance on your fucking feet

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“Yoink” is the opposite of “Yeet”

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in general i think new york is very good for my social anxiety because no matter how much of a freak i’m being i know it’s probably not the weirdest thing people have seen today

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Alternate timeline where everything’s the same except every fictional character has a different name