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the “in this essay, i will” memes are the most wholesome of the current popular memes because as well as being genuinely hilarious, they encourage deep, analytical thinking which often produces profound statements. in this essay, i will 

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Yesterday at work these two 12yo boys came through my line and i’m instantly like. oh Boy. Because solo children at a grocery store are always forces of chaos, good or bad

But thankfully these ones were totally pleasant, and when i asked if they wanted a receipt one of them pulled out a random fuckin receipt from his bag and asked “Do YOU???” and y’all, i lost my shit… What a power move. When will i ever be this funny

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me: I know I’m not emotionally prepared for a serious relationship and I have a lot to focus on and accomplish before that can be a priority for me and that’s okay! 

me after watching to all the boys i’ve loved before: 

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wine tasting but instead with hard liquors

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Jeff Goldblum is somehow even more Jeff Goldblum than you think he is.

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i hate obsessing over ppls physical beauty cuz blah blah etc whatever (you get me) but .. god

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meirl

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Mientras tanto en un proceso de selección de Podemos…

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[clicks on a person’s url to see how they’re doing after being dragged on their own post]

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Happy September 1st!!!

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every time i open this app i read some dumb ass shit

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if thanos wanted to kill off half of the population because there weren’t enough resources……..but then snapped half of the vegetation and animals (according to the russos)……..then isn’t he back at square one……………and there aren’t enough resources for the population……………