sparksavor

[sparksavor]

i'm lazy and forgot to make this post earlier but tl;dr i am not coming back to tf rp; i'm just leaving most of my blogs up as archives. if you really want to stay in touch you can ask for my fandomless rp blogs (or go find them, idc, they're not exactly secret). peace!

[sparksavor]

A nearby radio- any radio, broken or otherwise, stutters alive with a cough of static. Somebody is brute-forcing a connection through. "Second-- second-- attempt at connection. We are tracking your-- spark signal. You have-- warrant, and are-- submit yourself to questioning. Respond."

Rampage is elbow-deep in the chassis of a very unfortunate (and foolish) bounty hunter when their comms unit starts buzzing and spitting static; he jolts in surprise, and inadvertently crushes their fuel pump in his fist as he tears it from its housing. Wonderful.

"Hello, officer." He slumps into a crouch; tossing the now worthless pump into the air and catching it, rolling it across his knuckles in idle amusement. "You're putting a lot of effort into something completely redundant."

"I'm in a good mood, right now, so I'll stop you from wasting any more of your time. There's no need for me to submit to questioning. I'm a very naughty, guilty mech. I confess to whatever it is I'm being accused of. I did it all, and I enjoyed every second of it."

[sparksavor]

Do you remember anything of the planet you came from? What you were surrounded by- your earliest memories and senses?

Colony Omicron was situated on some dusty, barren asteroid. Clever, disguising a top secret weapons research facility as a backwater mining station. The isolation made it difficult for the weapons in question to escape.

It smelled... sterile. The janitorial drones used some sort of cleaning solution that made my nose itch. I was bound and blindfolded when I came online, but I still remember that horrible smell.

[sparksavor]

I regret everything.

Ugh. I'm no good at this. If there is something you can still change, go now and do it—otherwise, learn to live with it. You will never stop making mistakes.

Hmm. Maybe we can hunt for a bed that's more you-size. Or get a bunch of smaller ones side by side.

It's really nothing, Ram. It's just... You ever have any regrets about stuff? Feel like you could've done more than you did?

[sparksavor]

I'm not a fan of dangling.

... What's troubling you, my dear?

Really? My berth's pretty big, I think you'll manage, if you don't mind your legs dangling off a little.

Primus, I wish that were me. Thinking sucks, actually.

[sparksavor]

I won't fit in your bed, Smokey.

And no. I don't think. My mind is a serene and empty scape.

Sure, we can swap sleeping arrangements for a night. You might like sleeping under twenty blankets and even more pillows!

Hmm. You sure? Nothing on your crabby mind?

[sparksavor]

You should try it sometime. I'll bury you in several feet of sand and leave you there.

And I'm ffffffine.

Huh... That's really... Interesting! Really interesting.

Are you okay, Ram? Do you want a bed or anything? Maybe some pillows, maybe even a blanket? Anything?

[sparksavor]

"Well, if you really want me to eat you, then..."

Watch out, Tarn—here comes the giant, clawed hand. ... It's not clear if he's just joking around.

@sparksavor replied: "I didn't say anything about eating you, now, did I? Tsk, tsk. Always jumping to the wrong conclusion."

"By calling me "snack-sized", It was implied. Forgive for jumping to conclusions given your.... reputation."

[sparksavor]

Moderately so. I like to pretend I'm being buried by someone I hate so they can let me down one last time.

Really? Is that cozy? Like, at all?

[sparksavor]

@ask-smokescreen replied. Wait, do you even have a bed?

I sleep in a hole in the ground.

[sparksavor]

@pharmanic replied. are you /sure/?

Bed bugs are ectoparasites from the family Cimicidae. I am a crab—several crabs, in fact—which are also arthropods, but very, very distantly related.

Come, now. This is common knowledge.

[sparksavor]

"I am not a 'bed buge'."

[sparksavor]

Likewise.

Now pick up your hammer, and start swinging before I die of boredom first.

Let's kill each other with hammers.

Let me irradiate a small nation when I crack open that ridiculous shell of yours.

[sparksavor]

I thought that said Pretty bastard. And thought to myself "Yup"

"You may want to get your eyes checked. I didn't win the Cybertron's Ugliest Freak competition by bribing the judges, after all."

That's a lie—he's never participated—but he's confident he would win regardless.

[sparksavor]

"It's a definite improvement."

Though it's hard to read on a face like his, Rampage looks insufferably pleased with himself.

[sparksavor]

"Against my better judgement, I've returned from my short-lived beach vacation." And he's covered in sand to prove it. "Aside from finding a dead body that I didn't murder, it was uneventful."

[sparksavor]

they matched each others freak. 42 injured. 7 dead. 12 missing.