sparklyinternetwizard

[sparklyinternetwizard]

sorry everyone we won’t be seeing any men today they’ve all been bricked into their enclosure

[sparklyinternetwizard]

sorry everyone we won’t be seeing any men today they’ve all been bricked into their enclosure

[sparklyinternetwizard]

is it lesbian friday yet

It's always lesbian friday if you believe

[sparklyinternetwizard]

Kermit Moodboard

[sparklyinternetwizard]

Warding off the oncoming depressive episode by reading about very old tortoises

[sparklyinternetwizard]

‘twist villain’ is always good of course but i’m such a sucker for ‘twist hero’. specifically as in they write a character to be as suspicious and unnerving as possible without really actually doing anything wrong yet but you just KNOW something is wrong but then surprise. they’re fine actually. all the alleged wrongdoings were either lies harmless or taken out of context. it’s even better if the suspicious aspects of their personality don’t go away after the reveal that they’re a good guy. they just act and look and talk like that for fun. they’re just a little silly

[sparklyinternetwizard]

Girl cat approaches for snuggles like “mama? mommy? Sit on lap? I sit? I sit on lap? Here I come I’m sit on lap.” *twenty minutes of slow motion settling in on my lap*

Boy cat approaches for snuggles like “wassup” *STOMP STOMP STOMP* “anyway” *snooooork mimimimimi*

[sparklyinternetwizard]

did you hunt down OP to find out???

[sparklyinternetwizard]

evil wizard voice: i too have a "doom scroll"

[sparklyinternetwizard]

maybe this time picking at Textures on my skin will lead to being silky smooth

[sparklyinternetwizard]

Ever since I was a little girl I’ve loved information

[sparklyinternetwizard]

Russian and German also get rather creative

I know folks who habitually swear in English even though it's not their first language because "English has all the fun swear words", and while I don't disagree that in terms of languages that are fun to swear in, English is pretty high up the list, I feel like some of these people desperately need to be introduced to Québécois French.

[sparklyinternetwizard]

Maybe people on the internet would enjoy this 10 year old meme in embroidery form. Kit by https://www.etsy.com/shop/CraftyQueerDesigns

[sparklyinternetwizard]

[sparklyinternetwizard]

I can never predict how weird I am going to be in a given situation and this is my cross to bear

[sparklyinternetwizard]

To celebrate rawdog winning word of the year per the American Dialect Society, I'd like to tell the story of how I learned that the meaning of rawdog changed in the past couple years.

If anyone doesn't know, the original and long-held meaning of rawdogging was fucking without a condom. The new meaning has extended to doing any kind of action unshielded, plain, or without preparation.

So, about a year ago, I'm eating lunch with coworkers. It's an office job and we're generally pretty professional. People swear a lot, but there's never any innuendos or sex talk.

A coworker is describing a recent trip she took to a vendor to get a demo of equipment we were considering purchasing. Someone else asks "Did you meet Bob LastName while you were there? He's kind of an interesting guy."

"Yeah I did, and he is a little strange. I walked into the breakroom one morning and he was rawdogging two blueberry bagels"

Cue my high-pitched shriek of "He was DOING WHAT."

Followed by my coworkers explaining the meaning and my faint, flustered reply of "ah...well... I'm used to that meaning.... something else." Some people knew what I was talking about, but unfortunately others did not, and I had to face the ordeal of explaining as delicately as possible to a group of coworkers aged 22 to 60

[sparklyinternetwizard]

It is vital for kids shows to have the horrors in them. The children YEARN for the horrors. They CRAVE the horrors. I craved the horrors and so will the next generation. And so will the next. Years and years and years of craving the horrors. Which is why you gotta put scaries into the kids stories.