sparklyinternetwizard

[sparklyinternetwizard]

[sparklyinternetwizard]

the croaker being a supportive, positive figure in the collapse of the US wasn't on my 2024 bingo card, tbh

My liege, how do you remain positive in a world so cruel?

There is a lot of despair right now. I do not wish to add for it. A lot of things can be taken from me, but I will remain hopeful and silly and filled with love for the people I care about. They will not take away my joy

[sparklyinternetwizard]

Croaker, I live in Ohio, I was wondering what your first impressions are of my great and wonderful state?

I will leave Ohio only after placing a curse upon its land.

[sparklyinternetwizard]

[sparklyinternetwizard]

every year around christmas me and my grandma play this fun family game called “maybe you want to put jesus in your room instead, sweetie? :)”. now, it’s important to note that the jesus referred to in our game is not actually the real jesus christ, but instead a wooden figure i made in 2011 that has an uncanny resemblance to the lord and savior himself

so what happens is that i place jesus in our living room, and my grandma smiles and asks me if i don’t want to decorate my room with him instead. i ask her in return if she thinks my jesus figure is ugly (which he is), but she reassures me that this is not the case. however, a couple of days later jesus mysteriously disappears from our living room, and appear in my room instead

now, the real jesus christ might have been able to perform a miracle like this, but please remember that the jesus in our story is only a figure made out of wood. he can not move on his own, so i think we can safely say that my grandma is the prime suspect here

the first year i would often confront my grandma about this, but she would always make up an excuse and never straight up tell me she moved him because he’s so ugly it’s an embarrassment to the family

eventually i grew tired of her lies, so now we only move jesus around in silence. one second he’s in the living room, the next he’s back in my room. in a way i think this adds an extra element of excitement to the holiday season, because you never know for sure when jesus is going to be moved again

[sparklyinternetwizard]

you have to stay alive. you're going to be such a beautiful middle aged freak. young freaks will see you in the street and know that things can be okay.

[sparklyinternetwizard]

Weeping at this. Frighteningly similar to how I sound

[sparklyinternetwizard]

[sparklyinternetwizard]

[sparklyinternetwizard]

it is ableism to consider being unable to learn a concept--any concept--morally inferior. it is, fundamentally, ableism to see people who cannot read novels or theory or watch "serious adult" movies or participate in other forms of media consumption as less "good" than people who can. it is ableism to insist that it is aspirational to be intelligent.

if you see people who are unintelligent as lesser, in any way, that is ableist. hard pill to swallow for those who aren't developmentally disabled, i know. i don't want to coddle y'all about it anymore, though.

[sparklyinternetwizard]

[sparklyinternetwizard]

I'm starting to hate caffeine. I drank a bottle of coke at like 6:30pm and it's now 1:20am and I can't sleep >:(((((((

[sparklyinternetwizard]

Serval (Leptailurus serval), MELANISTIC, family Felidae, Amboseli National Park, Kenya

Photograph by nicolas.urlacher.photographer

[sparklyinternetwizard]

let's play a game called: is the thing I think is wrong with me ACTUALLY what's wrong with me? or is what's wrong with me the fact that I constantly think there's something wrong with me?

[sparklyinternetwizard]

that's... not how it works. you can't guarantee that your work definitely won't squick anyone. what do you think you're saying?

[sparklyinternetwizard]

[sparklyinternetwizard]

i can't believe "big dick tom, the ghost who shoves his fingers up your butt" is in fact NOT a bit the boys came up with, but a spectre people genuinely claim to be haunted by