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One of the best things about loving Ghost is that with posts like these you just. You don't need to know anything. You don't need to know references of any kind. This is just ... this is just how Ghost is. At all times.

Welcome to Satan Pope and Friends

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i don't know the etiquette for posting other peoples tiktoks but the delivery of this punchline hit me like a FUCKING TRUCK please

NikhilClayton <- you should follow this guy on tiktok he's fucking hilarious

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I live in a swamp and animals have learned that they're all safe in my "territory," so they just wander around utterly without concern. And I can confirm that all animals are complete doofuses and there's not a day that goes by that I don't have a good howl at something ridiculous or ungraceful that I see them do.

I wish I had access to the video of a deer fawn and a wild turkey walking headfirst into each other without noticing they were on a direct collision course while grazing. Their reaction was like something out of an old cartoon. Incredible.

Birders: do you ever wonder if this happens?

Original on my site | Patreon

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In addition to the intrusive thoughts of becoming or doing something awful in the future, there's the fun version of OCD where you're afraid that you secretly do terrible things without knowing you're even doing them. Like you're a secret serial killer etc.

I have been dealing with compulsive thoughts that I'm an arsonist for almost 15 years, without a single bit of evidence to support it, and I have zero interest in fire outside of its usefulness in lighting candles. It has gotten so bad that my spouse has entered the kitchen to find me disassembling the stovetop so that there is no way that I can secretly burn the house down. The whole idea of this being a disorder is that it doesn't make any sense.

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WTF, Ghost Fandom

Spent pretty much the whole morning watching the slow motion car crash that is the Ghost fandom. We got a quick sneak peak at the silhouette of the new antipope and a partial set of tour dates, yay! And people are just absolutely tearing out each others' throats over stupid bullshit.

There have been a thousand and one hints that the new antipope could potentially be a new person entirely, which would be neat! I'm gonna be sad either way because I loved the Papa IV character. All the Papas have been played by Tobias Forge so far, but he's an absolute theater kid and he developed unique mannerisms, speech patterns, and even singing voices for every single one of them. So regardless, it'd be different. If the new antipope is Zombie Papa III as some folks say, it'll be different. If it's Papa IV's twin, it'll still be different.

The worst furor is over the possibility that not only could the new antipope be a different person, it could be a woman. Oh, no. Not that. Not a woman fronting a band whose most recent studio album began with a song about religious fervor leading to the public stoning of a woman using her voice where she didn't belong!

He's said in many interviews that he never wanted to be the singer, and that he'd love to step back and let someone else be the frontman so he can focus on playing guitar and other forms of performance. He has emphasized over and over that before the next album and tour cycle, there is going to be a massive change. He just released an entire movie about how things change and change is hard but we have to accept it and allow for new, exciting things. He's also said he never intended for Ghost to be a long-term project (though I'd be happy for Ghost to keep going through an eternal rotation of Papas).

The key word there, though, is "project." Ghost is not a band in a conventional sense. It is a project. No matter who is singing prancing/stomping/wobbling around, and making crude sexual gestures on stage, it'll still be The Tobias Forge Show.

Ghost is, before anything else, theater. Every move on stage (at least, every move that isn't, say, someone stomping himself off his platform and falling behind the stage) is choreographed, and half the shit we hear in concerts is prerecorded so that the audience can get the best experience possible. It's fantastic. It's art. And I'm here for whatever Tobias Forge wants to offer us. I trust his creative judgment.

And frankly I wouldn't even blame him if he wanted to hang up the mitre after this tour, because people are harassing his damn teenaged kids over some rumors about one of Ghost's touring guitarists on Twitter.

Nobody seems to hate Ghost more than the Ghost fandom. Speculate, but have fun with it. The whole point of Ghost is that we need to be better to each other and stop fighting with each other based on made-up divisions between isolated cultish social groups. Stop being such fucking dickheads to each other.

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Buddy guy, the basic google translate app can translate any language you want to read by pointing your frickin phone camera at it. Stop making dumb excuses.

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I grew up in farm country in Maryland, and I swear every fricking farmer and most of the people who had more than a quarter acre of land within a 20 mile radius had the mindset of "If it touches a blade of grass on my property it is my absolute privilege to shoot it," and that was especially true for other peoples' pets. When I was a child I don't think I had a cat longer than a year or two at a time because of a nearby farmer who had only cattle, not even chickens that my cats could have harmed (and no, it never occurred to my parents to stop letting the cats outside). One would think he'd actually be glad to have a cat hunting mice in his barn but I guess shooting them was more fun.

My grandparents in nowheresville Virginia are so bad two of their neighbors rehomed their pets, and all they are "protecting" is a couple patches of flowers on an otherwise tree-filled property. And they aren't idiots. My grandfather was a highly respected public speaker in his area of expertise, which I won't name because he'd be easy to find with context clues. They are just delighted that living in a rural area means they can get away with shooting everything that moves.

I've been working to rewild the 3 acres I moved to a few years ago. The deer, turkeys, rabbits, hawks, owls, vultures, and it seems even the snakes have figured out that we won't hurt them, though I've never seen more nervous crows in my life. They won't even hang around if one of us gets near a closed window, which is a behavioral clue that makes me extremely sad. I distinctly remember seeing a couple of .22 rifles casually propped against the wall alongside the sunroom windows when we came to view the place. And no, the previous owners hadn't done fuckall with the property that would warrant shooting anything on it, just blasted the whole place with pesticides (which genuinely makes everything worse, so the first year or so here was HELL while the ground became safe for insectivores to come back).

It's my dream to buy out the properties on either side one day (come on, lottery) so that we can rehabilitate the land as best we can, and then give it all back to the local indigenous band. Right now it's just acres and acres of empty grass with hardly any animals to be seen.

And then there are assholes like this fucker a county over, which still makes me cry when I think about it. Warning - the photo at the top of the article has a dead alligator in it. An alligator who the man said "might" have hurt someone one day.

People in rural areas solve any animal problem ever without shooting at it challenge

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I've seen a lot of spicy takes about people who say they identify with characters like Bojack Horseman. How that's always a red flag. Like, there's a difference between saying "Hell yeah Bojack!" and "Oh, hell, yeah, man, I cannot forget how easy it would have been to end up like him"

Don't forget to go to therapy and think about the ways you can always be working to be better, folks

u ever see someone with extremely fucked up views (or actions) and think wowww if a couple of things in my life went the tiniest bit differently that would have been me

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There were a bunch of tryhards who got all pissed off because the most recent Heilung tour used some glow-in-the-dark paint to accent costumes, as though Vikings wouldn't have been like "HOLY HEL GIVE ME SOME OF THAT BADASSERY"

Vikings didn't have horns on their helmets but I bet if you showed them a single modern Viking depiction they'd all start doing it like gangsters imitating The Godfather

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Reading Times, Pennsylvania, Oct 14, 1926

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Change my meme (a replacement 'Change my mind' template) - template post - Imgur

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Might be getting rolled out in waves in the US because I was able to toggle mine off. Keep checking back.

To be fair they've been sending me offers with different vendors for a couple years but glad to know I can turn it off now.

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For the younger folks here: I graduated from high school in 2004. So, 20 years ago. Minimum wage 20 years ago was $2 less per hour than it is now. I complained about how a week's worth of groceries for two people was $50.

Minimum wage 20 years ago was still way, way too low. I lived for a while in a trailer and my roommate and I just had to muscle through having a dead opossum rotting in the vents because we couldn't afford to have someone come out to remove it, and the guy who owned the trailer wasn't gonna pay for it, so the game plan was "How long til it's a skeleton and the flies go away." Ie, we both had min wage jobs and were broke as hell, two decades ago, when the min wage was not much lower than it is now. The minimum wage now is downright unconscionable.

Never, ever let them make you think it's a meal planning problem.

Every time I get groceries I’m always appalled at how little you can get for like, $20. I was making banana pudding so I needed vanilla wafers but the brand name nilla wafers cost $4 a box. The minimum wage in my state is $7.25/hr. My friend put it really well when he said “imagine you work for an hour and someone hands you two boxes of nilla wafers and said ‘actually this is a bit more than what I owe you’”

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The responses and commentary to this is why I don't like eating at other peoples' houses lol

An Instagram video about the difference between US and UK washing up has me curious.