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EVERY SHAKESPEARE PLAY SUMMED UP IN A QUOTE FROM THE OFFICE. ✨ Shakespeare sometimes gets a bad rap for being lengthy, boring, and outdated, so we have made it our mission in life to explain his stuff in a way that is none of those things. Read the rest here: http://bit.ly/2ofp0po.

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In honor of the 20th anniversary of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, we did the impossible and summed up 95 characters in one sentence each, creating the greatest masterpiece of the 21st century. Click here to see it, and then take a few minutes to thank the universe for giving us the brilliant J.K. Rowling, who changed all our lives with her beautiful, hilarious, heartbreaking, magical books. 

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You always instinctively knew that your life was missing something, but you probably didn't know that that something was a young Sirius Black in a shearling jacket. 

Well, click "next" and consider your life complete—and keep clicking to see James, Lily, and the rest of the Marauders gang during their time at Hogwarts, aka at the peak of their hotness

All illustrations by the fabulous @clairee-delunee

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If Pride and Prejudice took place in 2018, there would be markedly less garden-walking, an equal amount of upper-class snobbery, and 100% more texting.

 You think there’s even a CHANCE Darcy wouldn’t be lurking near the snack table at the Netherfield ball pretending to text because he’s too awkward to talk to people?! Please. Here’s how the men and women of Meryton would have fared with the boon of twenty-first century technology.

texts by national treasure @roonil-freakin-wazlib; read all 12 of them on SparkLife!

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DISCLAIMER: These cards—created by the spectacular @lilabeanz—are imbued with VERY powerful magic. Give one to your crush, and you just might get a date. Give ALL OF THEM to your crush, and you just might end up getting married, having 3 kids, and giving one of those kids what is indisputably the worst name of all time (it was a real missed opportunity, is all we're saying). And with that warning out of the way, get out there and fall in love, you nerds! <3 

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From honorary Auror/muggle dreamboat @roonil-freakin-wazlib comes yet another masterpiece: IF HOGWARTS HAD THE INTERNET.  We’ll let her explain:

Look, if I had to, I’m sure I could forgo the Internet in favor of wizardry. Twitter doesn’t hold a single bewitched floating candle to LITERALLY CHANGING A TURTLE INTO A TEACUP WITH MAGIC. But what if I didn’t have to forgo anything? What if I could have both Hogwarts AND the Internet? What would that even look like? Probably a little something like THIS. 

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ACCIO, HOLIDAY SPIRIT: these beyond-beautiful gifs by the wonderful @littlechmura are going to have you chugging peppermint mochas and be-decking yourself in the warmest Weasley sweater you can get your hands on. If there was ever a time that we wanted to be in the Gryffindor common room, drinking butterbeer and flirting with Fred and/or George while snuggled up on an overstuffed armchair in front of a crackling fire, it is now. (It’s also every second of every day, but now, especially.)

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WAHHHH WE LOVE THESE SO MUCHHHHHH (｡♥‿♥｡)

Week 2 of Inktober 2017! 

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In this gorgeous sequel to @littlechmura stunning One Breath Each series, she depicts 12 of our favorite Harry Potter characters going about their everyday lives at Hogwarts.  Uh, *INSERT HEART-EYES EMOJI HERE*.

In each portrait, @littlechmura combines fantastic wizarding world details (like moving staircases, thestrals, and Potions class) with her own delightful sense of whimsy and humor (can we just talk about Ron's hilarious broken wand, and that beyond-adorable tiny plant in Neville's hand?!). We think you'll agree when we say that it just doesn't get much more magical than this.

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Classic lit + Onion-style headlines = the mashup you never knew you always wanted. Click here to see all 14!

brought to you by our resident genius, @roonil-freakin-wazlib

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The incomparable @vitoriabas threw caution and tea leaves to the wind and tried her hand at interpreting Harry Potter’s dreams—and it turns out that our favorite Chosen One has a lotttt on his mind, and most of it is h*ckin’ WEIRD. 

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darcy claps baaaaack 

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lizzie bennet = savage since 1797

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If you’re ever called upon to explain the Harry Potter books to some dunderhead who has never read them, you can simply widen your eyes and flail your arms around a lot in a way that hopefully conveys what the series means to you and to millions of readers around the world.

Or you can, you know, just show them these pie charts by @roonil-freakin-wazlib.

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basically hamlet when he accidentally kills polonius 

[gif via brooklyn 99/NBC}

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so we haven’t actually written the horoscopes that go along with these STUNNING AF illos by the fabulous @hazeymase yet, but WE JUST COULDN’T KEEP THEM TO OURSELVES ANY LONGER. are they not LITERALLY the most gorgeous masterpieces you’ve ever seen?! RHETORICAL QUESTION. THEY ABSOLUTELY ARE. 

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classsssssic hammy.