spacemonkcy-blog

[spacemonkcy-blog]

I’m learning that makeup, CV dazzle. If my roommate thinks I’m losing it I don’t care. I’m sick of feeling like a walking ID.

[spacemonkcy-blog]

[spacemonkcy-blog]

[spacemonkcy-blog]

[spacemonkcy-blog]

[spacemonkcy-blog]

[spacemonkcy-blog]

[spacemonkcy-blog]

technohavoc

So, what - f'you participate you lose, but f'you don’t you still lose? Or am I missin your point ..?

Nope. You got it.

[spacemonkcy-blog]

[spacemonkcy-blog]

technohavoc

I don’t get it.

What about sleepin at weird times “shows” that your life is fake or shitty?

Not mine. Everyone’s. 

Say I stay up all night and seven AM is like my eleven PM. Go to get something from the store, everyone’s on their way to work. They’re all dressed the same, they all act the same. You’re on the outside, got nowhere to go, not dressed up for anythin’. They all eat (x) for breakfast, (y) for lunch and (z) for dinner, not for any reason. Go to work and do the same shit they did the day before, I’m asleep the whole time. By the time I go out again, say it’s two or three in the morning. Everyone’s gone and the world’s half dead. Rules are different, you can look worse and don’t have to pretend you’re happy. Don’t have to act like you care whether the person sittin’ next to you on the train thinks good of you or not. Just ‘cause.

Whacks you out of sync. You’re not a participant, just an observer. Just watching it all pass by while you’re not going anywhere.

[spacemonkcy-blog]

I never do anything about it because I don’t see why it matters. I don’t have anything to wake up early for, what’s it matter when I sleep. Whatever. Nothing shows you how fake and shitty our lives are like fucking up your body clock.

Days can go by without me noticing. Forget to check the time and suddenly its ten AM, and i’ve been up all night.

[spacemonkcy-blog]

Days can go by without me noticing. Forget to check the time and suddenly its ten AM, and i’ve been up all night.

[spacemonkcy-blog]

This is so embarrassing.

[spacemonkcy-blog]

dyinginmydreams

Okay. I feel like everyone I know hates me. And everyone I don’t know. I don’t know…it just feels like every time I open my mouth someone else is just thinking I’d be better off dead. And I don’t really blame them…I wish I was dead. And it’s not like I haven’t tried, it’s just…I don’t know. Nothing ever works. And, lately it feels like I’m responsible for so much…I can’t even really entertain thoughts about killing myself anymore without feeling like shit…like it used to make me feel sort of better…like there was always a way out. But I don’t know…not so much anymore…

This is really fucking embarrassing. Thanks!

[spacemonkcy-blog]

dyinginmydreams

You get your fill yet? I can keep talking if it makes you feel better.

Please keep talking...

[spacemonkcy-blog]

dyinginmydreams

I’m sorry you hate yourself so much you have to go around making other people feel bad just to feel good.

That’s the most insightful thing... you do have a therapist..

[spacemonkcy-blog]

dyinginmydreams

Did you know there are many different frequencies on a radio?

Then go ask on another where no one’s gonna answer? Was it rhetorical or something.