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When your dog dies, everyone asks you if you’re getting a new one. If your child dies, that would be completely inappropriate.

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blue whales are the largest animal ever recorded, like you literally need to be in a helicopter to actually see one in from a perspective with zero distortion. idk i just feel pretty lucky to be alive on earth at the same time as them and they don’t even want to kill me. they just wanna use their toothbrush mouthes to filter the ocean of smol ocean bugs. they have communities and they sing to each other to communicate. work is slow im sorry happy friday whales r so cool

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im great at this

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Adrian Ille

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why get a job when you can get hit by cars and sue the drivers 

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How to grow a man beard.

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there has been a petition signed by over 300,000 british people to ban donald trump from britain and because it’s so popular they’re having to seriously consider debating it in the house of commons. it’s the best news i’ve heard all week.

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My parents aren’t home

You know what that means

*sits in the living room instead of sealing myself away in my room*

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MIDDLE FINGERS UP IF YOU DON’T GIVE A *whispers quietly so my parents can’t hear me* frick

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republican secret #14

tonight we will see a bunch of five year olds hidden as middle aged people fight their way to win a caprisun

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Jimmy and Ellen DeGeneres face off in a Lip Sync Battle! 

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I wish none of you were sad

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What if she kidnaps the children and adopts them & turns them into little bloodsucking monsters? like she probably lured this guy away from his family at a carnival