soverywitty

[soverywitty]

don't fall yourself a power bottom unless you throw it back like this

[soverywitty]

working with 30 smth yr old linecooks is crazy because youll be having a normal conversation and theyll just randomly say shit like yeah tequila be making me a little bicurious and my babymama wont let me see my kids! 🤣 and you enter a quick time event where you have to craft a normal response in 1.5 seconds

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researchers built wearable heart rate sensors powered by slime molds that had to be fed like Tamagotchis and literally everyone involved with the study began personifying their little heart rate friends

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Voters in Iowa have the opportunity to do something very funny here.

[soverywitty]

I think Amanda fully believed she and Sarek were dating for weeks or months before he realized that she thought that.

Like, Sarek is thinking he's doing SUCH a good job in Human Diplomacy, he has made A Human Friend. They do activities together, consume meals together, communicate outside of work functions in an informal fashion. Amanda makes an effort to show him Human culture and landmarks that are more likely to appeal to a Vulcan and is considerate of his different physiology in a way most Humans usually forget to be. She doesn't touch him without warning but still somehow uses body language to convey to other Humans that they are together on their activities. She gives him lots of signs of Human comfort and intimacy without pushing too hard at his Vulcan boundaries. He's Succeeding at Human socializing!

Meanwhile Amanda has like. Introduced him to her parents. Taken him to friends' weddings. Done super obvious This Is A Date activities with him, only tailored to accomodate Vulcan preferences about physical contact and emotional displays. SHE thinks she is doing So Good at Wooing The Vulcan. Sometimes he willingly touches her when they are out in public, to like, keep them from getting separated, or pull her out of the path of danger or discomfort, which as far as she knows is like Vulcan First Base.

But also she is a Human woman they have been dating for months and taking it slow for her Vulcan beau is beginning to grow...somewhat frustrating! A little! Like she enjoys spending time with him but also! She would sure like to touch him more! Maybe kiss him! She would even settle for feeling up his hands the way Vulcans do because she has gotten so preoccupied with his hands since they've been dating, she feels like a 19th century maiden, it's insane.

So she casually broaches the subject of whether or not Vulcans engage in sexual activity outside of Pon Farr (when they're having a quiet evening alone in one of their apartments, obviously, you don't have a sex talk with your very shy boyfriend in public) and Sarek is like. Well that's a very intimate topic, Amanda, why do you ask? Is there a Vulcan you are interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with?

And she's just like What.

And he's like (gently condescending) That sort of question could imply a "come-on", as you Humans would say.

And she's like I SURE HOPE IT WOULD, SAREK, MY BOYFRIEND OF SIX MONTHS, WITH WHOM I WOULD LIKE TO BE PHYSICALLY INTIMATE

And Sarek is like WHAT.

[soverywitty]

[soverywitty]

Star Wars is Greek; Star Trek is Roman. 

[soverywitty]

Everybody went through that stage when they first joined Tumblr where they were embarrassingly comfortable with adding shitty comments to everything they reblogged.

[soverywitty]

By the way, here's a quick update on what's been going down on the worst part of the internet this week:

Five days ago, Rosanna Pansino made a video where she opened up a package of Lunchly taken straight off the store shelf (2 months before its expiration date), and found that the cheese was absolutely festering with mould.

Not only is this absolutely disgusting, but, as Pansino points out in her video, they're selling this to kids. The young kids opening up and eating this might not know what mould looks like, and therefore won't recognise this for what it is.

A source associated with MrBeast told Newsweek to "consider the context and the source", essentially accusing Pansino of faking the video. She responded by posting the full unedited video of her opening the box.

And while officially representatives for MrBeast, KSI and Logan Paul declined to comment, two days ago Logan Paul dropped an episode of his podcast guest-starring KSI where they kinda-but-not-really responded to the video/tweets in passing, implying that Pansino was clout-chasing.

But over the past week more people have been posting their own videos of finding mould in Lunchly.

[soverywitty]

holy shit

[soverywitty]

guy who has chronic pain and fatigue: man why can't i do more stuff

[soverywitty]

too many cute reshirement bagginshield fics where thorin becomes a sweet bumbling house-husband to bilbo and not enough where he starts playing hobbiton like stardew valley. he is thorin oakenshield son of thrain son of thror and he SHALL make the best blackberry cobbler for mid-years day and his enemies will WEEP for it

[soverywitty]

i don't doubt for a moment this has been done 1 million times but thinking about Starscream redemption arc scenario where he gets so mad at Megatron he decides to become an Autobot just to spite him

other Autobots on board once they realise it's not a trick. he's an invaluable ally. he is dishing out all the dirt on the Decepticons ranging from military secrets to every time he's seen Megatron pratfall.

[soverywitty]

found an interesting thread on twitter w people speculating about the fact that Starscream doesn't 'look like a villain' compared to the other Decepticons w various theories about this being floated ranging from 'he chose a colour scheme similar to the Autobots to confuse his enemies' to 'he stands out visually bcos he's trying to subvert the system'

but somebody hit upon what i suspect to be the correct answer which is 'Starscream was designed before they decided which characters were going to be villains'

[soverywitty]

Subtle insults:

I feel like you are very involved in your local HOA

You seem like the type to really care about their property values

I fucking hate you and want your car to get hit by a very fast train

I can see you have no need for the bus

Wow, I can see the historic 1950s feel of your neighborhood

[soverywitty]

a woman being feminine is right-wing coded which is masculine coded. a woman being masculine is left-wing coded which is feminine coded. this disproves the existence of women

[soverywitty]

I hate buses so much. Trains are easy, reliable, straightforward. No nonsense. You can trust them. Buses are evil, deceitful creatures who delight in your suffering