southelroydrive
sage
15 posts
they/them ☆ professional maya hawke simp
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southelroydrive · 1 year ago
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masterlist.
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sage | they/them | 19 | lesbian | A03 | smut is 18+ mdni you weirdos
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smut: ★ fluff: ☆ angst: ☾
robin buckley breathe with me. ☆ i got a lot of sins, but you're my favourite. ☆ my girl, my girl, my girl. ☆ the sun and the moon. ☾ the sun and the moon. (p.2) ☆ late july. ★ the tide is in, it will go out. ☆ i'll make your body a habit. ★ selectively mute!reader headcanons. ☆ there's more room in a broken heart. ִ ࣪☾ brand new obsession. ☆
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nancy wheeler love is nothing, i am yours. ☆ safe from the world. ☆
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southelroydrive · 1 year ago
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safe from the world.
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pairing: nancy wheeler x f!reader summary: you and your girlfriend take a moment to yourselves before the battle against vecna. word count: 1.3k title: intertwined by dodie warnings: none a/n: probably not accurate to the canon timeline, a short draft whilst i painstakingly write this ghostface!ronance au
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the world seemed to be at peace that one spring morning. a truly spectacular thing despite everything the town of hawkins had been through in the last few days. but, as nature began its rebirth, you find a rare moment of serenity in the seemingly cursed town.
the wind rustles through the trees, birds chirping their sweet symphony that fills the peaceful quiet that surrounds lover’s lake. morning dew still clings to the grass, glistening in the sunlight as it casts a golden haze over the town. a breeze of the wind swirls around you, brushing against your skin with the soft caress of a lover. 
“we’re almost there, i promise.”
her voice, a caress much like the wind. it wraps you in its embrace, soothing the terror that plagues your mind in a time like this. the death and tragedy, the horrors that scar the back of your eyelids as you try to sleep each night, all slipping away with the weight of her hand in yours. you feel the blades of grass tickling your ankles as she guides you along.
a tender smile spreads across your lips, not uncommon in the presence of the girl in front of you. the picturesque display of nature around you fades away, not worthy of your attention when you’re distracted by her curly hair that bounces with every step of her boots against the ground.
in fact, you're so distracted that you don't notice your foot getting caught in a tree root. in a matter of seconds, you let out a panicked yelp that alerts her, head snapping to look back at you and a sharp cry of your name leaving her lips. your eyes screw shut, anticipating the moment your body hits the grass-covered ground but it never comes. instead, her arms wrap around you, your face smacking into her shoulder.
“sweetheart!” she gasps through her laughter, stumbling backwards as your entire body weight slams against her. “be careful!”
“sorry, sorry! it was an accident!” you can’t help but laugh along with her, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment. your hands press against her chest, gently pushing yourself upright. her grip loosens around you, resting lightly on your hips just to be safe.
her chest vibrates with her dying laughter, a soft sigh spilling from her lips as she gazes up at you. her lips curl into an amused smirk, but her eyes still hold the same tenderness they always do as she looks at you. she carefully brushes your hair, smoothing down the frazzled pieces from your stumble. 
“come on, before you break a leg.” her loving gaze shimmers with a teasing glint as she pats your cheek, placing a sweet kiss to the tip of your nose before abruptly turning around. her hand slides into yours once more, keeping her grip firm as she gently tugs you along.
“hey!” you whine, lips forming into a pout despite the fact she couldn’t see. but she can practically hear it in your tone, making a smirk tug at your girlfriend’s lips. with another soft tug, you roll your eyes and fall back into a comfortable silence. 
it’s not long until you reach the clearing, just as she had promised. the trees wrap around the space, offering you complete privacy from the prying eyes of the town. nobody but you, your lover and the lake, which sparkled with every ripple of the water. the sun gracing the land in its light. 
nancy’s hand slowly slips away from yours, fingertips brushing against yours as her feet carry her to the edge of the lake. you watch as she lowers herself to the ground, knees pulled to her chest. she learned a long time ago not to care about the mud staining her skirt, rather a delicate reminder of the time spent with you.  
her head turns to look back at you, the tenderness in her eyes never leaving once. fingertips brushing against the grass, an invitation. 
you take it. 
you walk over, sinking to the ground beside her, your legs stretched out in front of you. she rests her head against you, her rosy cheek warm against your shoulder. like a moth to a flame, her hand finds yours. covering it with hers, the pad of her thumb grazes over your skin. 
her touch lingers on the scar that decorates your knuckle, a scar she knows all too well. she could never forget that night, the flickering lights, the beastly screeches and piercing gunshots echoing in her ears. the same night, the same scar that proved that she had broken her promise. she was going to keep you safe, she wasn’t going to let anything hurt you. why did she let it hurt you?
“nance?” your voice is gentle, like the ripple of the water or the breeze, when you call out her name. and in an instant, her worries melt away, tucked neatly into a box for another time. her attention now solely devoted to you, the you that is safe and, most importantly, alive.
head tilting down to look at her in the eyes, your brows are laced together in concern. lips twisted into a small frown, gazing at her with a benevolence that makes her heart warm in her chest. “you okay?”
“now i am.” she whispers, meeting your gaze with her own look of affection. and she means it. with you, the storm that is nancy wheeler’s mind calms, you’re the sun that permeates the grey clouds that form her thoughts. 
and when her eyes flicker back down to the scar on your hand that has long healed, she tries to see it as less of her mistake and more of how brave her girl is. a display of how much you had grown in those few years.
a peaceful silence falls over the two of you, and as you sit together in your own safe haven away from all the ugly truths of the town you lived in, you feel at peace.
nancy suddenly shifts, her head lifting off your shoulder and hand leaving yours. you turn, watching with a loving smile as your girlfriend tilts her body to lie down in the grass, her own head resting in your lap. her curls form a halo around her face, your own angel on earth gazing up at you with eyes that hold nothing short of pure love and affection.
your hands quickly find her hair, brushing through the curls you love so much. she rewards you with her soft hums of pleasure, like sweet music to your ears. her eyes shut, dark lashes fluttering.
the tenderness of this moment with the love of your life makes the rest of the world come to a stand still. you knew there was nothing else you would ever want, for all you could ever need was right in front of you. and as that silence washes over you once again, the looming threat of what is to come fades away.
until she breaks it.
“angel?” she murmurs, eyes cracking open to peer up at you. blue eyes filled with uncertainty, causing your own expression to twinge with concern. 
“yes, nance?”
“do you… do you think we’ll be okay?”
her words make your movements falter for a moment, your girlfriend’s uncertainty becoming clear to you now. you are both no strangers to the monsters of the upside down, yet you know how much responsibility she feels over how this battle will turn out. you let out a deep sigh, your breath shaky as your free hand finds hers once again.
“we’re gonna be okay, baby. i know it.” 
you accompany your words with a squeeze to her hand. and, despite the fact that nancy nods in response, you both know your words aren’t entirely true. there was simply too much that could go wrong to safely say. yet, in this moment, all your worries were better left unsaid. scared that speaking the truth could make it a reality. 
“i love you.”
“i love you too.”
because no matter what happens in the next few hours, when you’re forced to fight horrors that will remain unknown to the rest of the world, you know that you have your love. and that’s all that mattered. 
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southelroydrive · 1 year ago
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currently thinking about ghostface!ronance x reader…
might be planning a whole series
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southelroydrive · 1 year ago
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brand new obsession.
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pairing: robin buckley x f!reader summary: you have a slight obsession with your girlfriend's hands. word count: 0.9k title: obsession by sir chloe warnings: sexual themes but no smut a/n: it's my wife's birthday so i have to post something for my favourite character of hers <333 (inspired by the middle photo - it lives in my mind rent free)
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“you know they filmed these scenes in real mines? and they could only use certain lighting otherwise the entire thing would of like blown up from a methane explosion. oh, and-”
you hum softly in a half-hearted response as your girlfriend rambles about the movie in front of her. the tv illuminates the darkened space of her living room, playing ‘my bloody valentine’ on the screen. the very movie robin insisted on watching for this week’s movie night after you revealed that the half-dressed woman in the opening scene was the catalyst for your gay awakening in 8th grade. 
you're sprawled out on her couch, legs pressed together as you rest against her body, cheek pressed against her shoulder. the blanket once draped across your laps now left abandoned on the floor as the only warmth you need is the embrace of the other. but despite the rapid speed of which random facts and critiques tumble from her lips, your attention is completely elsewhere.
as the other moves emphatically with her words, robin’s hand keeps a firm grip on your bare thigh. the shorts you’re wearing hiking up your legs, allowing her fingers to spread across the expanse of exposed skin. and god, does it send your mind reeling.
now, there are an infinite number of things you loved about your girlfriend. from the dusting of her freckles on her shoulders like twinkling stars among the night sky to the scar on her knee from a playground accident when she was six, all these small things culminated into your unconditional adoration for the girl. but nothing could quite compare to her hands.
the way her slender fingers grasp your thigh, feeling the cool metal of her rings against your burning skin that make goosebumps rise on your leg. you're entranced, fixated on the dips of her knuckles or the way her veins pop as her grip tightens when a particularly important statement leaves her lips. you swallow a lump in your throat as her hand moves, almost kneading the soft flesh as she talks passionately. your surroundings muffle, the tv now a distant murmur, biting your lip as a haziness clouds over your mind. head empty except for the ideas filling your head of ways to put her hands to better use, like when she- 
“babe?”
“hm?” your head snaps to look up at her, eyelashes fluttering as you blink slowly. once, twice to regain your train of thought. “sorry, what were you saying?”
“nuh uh.” robin shakes her head, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. the hand that had previously been waving around erratically now reaches over to settle on your cheek, cradling the side of your face. “what's got you so distracted, hm?” i thought you liked this movie?”
“i do…” you murmur, nuzzling your cheek into her hand. your head tilts, your eyes locked on hers as your lips press against her palm.
she hums at the contact, stroking your cheekbone with the pad of her thumb as your lips brush against her warm skin. it almost makes her forget what she was saying until her eyes narrow, focusing on the tinge of embarrassment that flushes your cheeks. she leans in closer, her lips grazing the shell of your ear and hot breath fanning across it as she whispers, “so… what is it?”
a huff of air escapes your lips, your head tilting to the side to look around the room. at anything but her to hide the flush that creeps up your cheeks and tints the tip of your ears a deep red. however, you hear a small noise of protest fall from her lips, close to a whine, before she’s gently guiding your head to look at her once again. In a desperate attempt to avoid direct eye contact, your gaze flickers around before they inevitably fall to the culprit of your preoccupied mind. the hand that still firmly grips your thigh. her inquisitive stare follows, and from the corner of your eye you can see the smirk that curls on her lips. and in that second, you are caught. 
“oh.. so that’s it?” her voice lowers, sending a shiver down your spine at the deep rasp of your girlfriend’s voice.  you feel her shoulders shake with the chuckle that leaves her lips, your entire face feeling like it’s burning from the embarrassment that fills you. it doesn’t help when she squeezes your thigh experimentally, nails lightly digging into plush flesh. and it especially does not help when it elicits a small whimper from your lips. 
you feel her hand pause, and you can practically hear the shit-eating grin that spreads across her lips. your face buries into her shoulder, cheeks almost exuding heat from the pure humiliation.
“shut up.” you grumble into the fabric of her shirt, evoking another chuckle from the girl.
“i haven’t said anything, baby. you’re the one drooling over my hands.” “robin!” you gasp sharply, head shooting up as you smack your hand against her chest. said girl bursts into a fit of laughter, wrapping her arms around your waist to pull you into her embrace. you can’t help yourself when you begin to laugh yourself, head buried in her chest that vibrates with every giggle that leaves her lips.
you both sink into each other’s arms, cheeks aching from the wide grins resting on your lips as your laughter eventually drifts off into a comfortable silence. you let out a soft sigh, heavy with contentment, as robin’s hands drift down your back, inching down to your hips. you feel her lips press against the crown of your head before she leans down further, breath tickling your ear.
“you know… i think my hands would look better somewhere else.”
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southelroydrive · 1 year ago
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there's more room in a broken heart.
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pairing: robin buckley x f!reader summary: it's hard to let go of your first love. word count: 3.1k title: coming around again by maya hawke warnings: angst, angst, angst
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it’s strange, really, how much of an impact a single person can have on your life, long after they have been missing from it. if anything, their ghost pains you more than they ever did. the bittersweet memories that linger behind, the thoughts of what if or what could have been if the circumstances were different. it all haunts you in their absence, meaning they never truly leave.
the ghost of robin buckley torments your very existence. she lurked over your shoulder, the image of her staining the back of your eyelids when you slept. she followed you wherever you went, keeping you trapped within her embrace since the day she left.
she was in every new person you met, but there was never enough. blue eyes that were never quite the same shade, voices that were too high-pitched or lacked the soft husk you craved to hear just one more time. hands that left your body cold underneath their touch, rather than the hot sparks of electricity that would ignite your skin. in every new person who entered your life, you searched for that familiarity. you searched for her. but they were never her.
that day, that one fateful day. a mere 24 hours that altered the course of your life for eternity. the day she shut you out, taking a piece of your heart with her. when she uttered those words, shutting the door to the home you had built in your face, everything crumbled.
you couldn’t even be certain what exactly led to the downfall of your love. it had been brewing for some time, fuel being shovelled into the flame until it finally erupted. you knew that just love alone could only get you so far, and maybe it was always meant to be this way. maybe there was never any hope to begin with. you were two fucked-up kids, who had the safety of the world thrust upon your shoulders at an age where your biggest concern should of been who you were going to go to prom with. maybe your love was well and truly doomed.
and as the rain pours down on your head, seeping into your clothes and making your bones shudder, you feel like a spirit wandering the earth in search for the missing piece of your soul. the piece that was put in the hands of your first love and never left.
dim street lights illuminate your path as you walk through the misty haze of the rainy night. the wind howls around you, you feel it brushing your cheeks and nipping at the rosy skin. you can almost hear it begging for you to come to your senses, to stop your feet in their tracks and turn around. to push away all thoughts of her and leave the past where it is meant to be. but you do not heed this warning, your impulses are too strong to control.
you reminisce on times when you walked down this same path. the immense joy and peace you found, being able to walk down these streets hand in hand. free from the scrutiny of an entire town, reduced to a select few, in a city where people like you were everywhere. they were there, they were vocal and they were themselves. or days where you’d stumble home after a long day, the sun setting on the horizon and feet dragging across the pavement, only to be reunited in her arms. a sense of comfort that was left unmatched. 
you remember other days, just like this one. rain pouring down from the heavens, soaking your clothes and leaving you shivering. a sorrow-filled heart and a box of milk duds, with a sincere apology on the tip of your tongue as you stood on the porch of her home. your home. and the moments following where she would embrace you once more, problems left on that same porch that you stand on now.
the sight of the door seems almost daunting as you look at it now, an eggshell blue that had become more faded since you last saw it two years ago. your stomach churns at the feeling of bile building up in your throat as you raise a shaky fist to knock on the door. your mind races with thoughts, yet they all are reduced to a quiet hum as you wait for an answer. for anything.
and you wait. one minute. two minutes.
every second feels like a lifetime, you think. waiting on that doorstep, the ache in your heart growing stronger and stronger with each passing moment. your hope diminishing with every beat of silence that goes by.
you desperately hang onto it, clinging to whatever is left as you beg for a sign. the flickering of a light in the windows, the creak of the stairs under a person’s weight. but you receive nothing. your throat tightens and you swear you can feel the physical shattering of your heart as another minute passes. and your last bit of hope that goes with it.
with the remnants of your heart clutched tightly to your chest, you turn your back to the door. leaving memories of naïve love and bittersweet affections. you feel the burn in the back of your eyes that you know too well, stray tears dripping down your face and joining the rain. you rub at your eyes with a frustrated huff, chastising yourself for letting her have such a tight grasp on your emotions still. every step down the porch feels like a beast mutilating your heart, ripping the remains to shreds. 
“hello?”
and yet with a single word, your affection comes flooding back. painting your world in the rose-coloured haze that only robin buckley could do.
your head turns, your stomach erupting with a familiar buzz when you see her. she’s leaning against the doorframe, lanky frame draped in an oversized shirt she stole from her dad before moving out, and a pair of shorts displaying freckled knees. her hair is pushed behind her ears, bangs askew and pieces ruffled, likely from sleep. it’s shorter than you recall, maybe by an inch or so. it looks nice. 
and then you meet her gaze. the same ocean blue that you had been desperately searching for, the same ocean blue you had spent your teenage years wanting to drown yourself in and standing here now you still think it would be the greatest honour. her eyelids droop with exhaustion, yet the glimmer in her eyes is unmistakable. and within seconds, they widen in recognition. 
“y/n?”
your lips curl into a weak smile at the sound of your name leaving her lips. it's dripping with fatigue and resembles late nights when you’d come home to her cuddled up in bed, disturbing her sleep with your entrance. the deja vu makes a sudden rush of anxiety swirl in your stomach.
“hi, robs.”
“what’re you doing here?” her eyes narrow, brows lacing together in confusion. you imagine that you must truly be a sight to behold, a past lover turning up on her doorstep uninvited after so long.
“i-” the words die in your throat, parted lips shutting with a deep inhale of breath. your gaze reverts from her own, and your head bows to look at your feet. how do you explain the inner turmoil that burdens your mind at every moment, the lack of stability, of belonging in your life that has led you to the place you once called home? to the person you once called home? you thought moving back to hawkins would fix this, but after months of misery you knew that there was only one place where you would truly ever belong.
from the corner of your eye, you see her shuffle on her feet. she takes a step back inside her home and you wince, anticipating the door to slam in your face. the same way it did two years ago. the end to any future you had hoped for on the journey here. 
“you’re gonna make yourself sick.”
“what?” your head snaps up, eyes widening in surprise to see her still standing there in the doorframe. no anger visible on her face, no indication of shutting the door, of shutting you out. 
instead, she rolls her eyes. she takes another step backwards, opening the door wider. “you’re gonna get sick if you stay out here, so…” she trails off, smiling weakly. you try to decipher what it means, but her eyes are distant. 
“a-are you sure?” you look her in the eyes, brows furrowed as the shock of her invitation settles onto your expression. she offers you a curt nod, turning her back to you to walk inside. you swallow a lump in your throat, head hanging low as you follow behind her. 
“you can sit down in the living room. i’ll go get you a towel.” 
you nod, lips parting to voice your gratitude but she walks away before the words can ever form.
you sigh, feeling the full weight of your choices finally settle in your chest. why do you do this to yourself? you question, gaze lingering across the halls as you follow the familiar path to the living room. the frayed red carpet your grandparents gifted you still covering the wooden floor, muffling the thud of your steps as you drift down the hall. the mahogany accent table still stands where it used to, with the same photo frames decorating the surface. your hand grazes the top, feeling the smooth wood underneath your fingertips until you stop at a certain picture. that ache in your chest growing tenfold. it was a picture of you both, taken right after graduation. you both spent your night celebrating at lover’s lake, gowns and caps left on the grass and drunk off your asses on your parent’s cheap liquor. without a single care in the world. the camera’s in your hand, robin’s hand grasping your jaw as she captures you in a kiss that’s more teeth than anything from how large your grins are. that same day, lying in the grass and staring up at the stars, you promised yourselves to each other, to spend the rest of your lives as one. if only you knew then how that would end.
you quickly wipe away the stray tear from your cheek, hands dragging over your face with a soft groan as you forcibly rip your gaze away from the photo. you tell yourself to get it together, taking another deep breath before making your way into the living room.
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you feel almost suffocated by nostalgia as you move to sit on the couch. it's almost too easy to sink into the cushions of the seat you always used to occupy, like the impression of your existence was never forgotten by even the furniture. at this moment, you question if your ghost haunted this home as much as she haunted you. 
“i hope you still take your tea the same.”
her voice breaks you from your thoughts, head lifting to watch as she enters the room. a towel draped over her shoulder and two cups of tea in her hand, in china cups that she found at the flea market one spring. she walks over to you, the nostalgic air becoming more and more suffocating as the gap between you shrinks.
“you remembered?” your eyes stay trained on hers, a frown tugging at your lips as she seems to refuse to look in your direction. she nods, a tight-lipped smile laced with insincerity gracing her face as she sets the cups down on the table. she hands you the towel, seemingly ignoring your muttered thanks whilst you try to calm your pounding heart with the drying of your hair, the brush of her fingers against yours making your body ignite with the remembrance of her touch.
silence stretches between you two as she takes a seat on the other end of the couch, filled with the tension of unspoken words and broken promises. you feel a tug at your heart from the distance she sets between you, a physical manifestation of how much you have grown apart. how the person who sits across from you is no longer the same person you knew all those years ago, but now a complete stranger. you think of all the memories you shared in this house, the years spent making it into your home. your eyes drift to the red mark that stained the cushion beside your leg, the aftermath of a night of drunken kisses and spilled wine. you think of the photo in the hallway, still displayed proudly in the entrance of her home. how the others surrounding it seemed to be collecting dust, yet it still remained pristine. like she had been reluctant to give up on what you shared too. 
“you staying in chicago long?” she nurses her cup in her hands, eyes trained on the wisps of steam that protrude from the top. never meeting your eyes, almost as if she’s scared of letting you truly see her again.
you shake your head, words failing you until she lifts her gaze. when her eyes meet yours, she still feels distant. “no…” you say finally. “well i- uh i live here now.”
you see her eyes widen for a moment at your admission, a flash of something unknown passing through her eyes for just a second before she's sitting forward to put down her cup. “oh…when’d you move back?”
“couple weeks ago, found a cheap apartment to rent out.”
she hums in acknowledgement, bringing the cup to her lips as her gaze drops to her lap. silence overtakes the both of you once again and you find yourself admiring every inch of your surroundings. and for the first time in two years, you feel like you’re home. 
“why are you here, y/n?” 
you flinch at the tone of her voice, eyes snapping to look at her. she never raises her gaze, you’re stuck staring at the side of her face and unable to decipher her real emotions. she sounds cold and unforgiving, you can faintly make out the creases forming on her forehead from the side. you feel the tears well up in your eyes, the strain in your chest becoming too much to bear.
“i missed you,” you whisper, voice cracking with the overwhelming hurt and suffering you had endured over the past two years. your hands grip the fabric of your shirt to stop them from trembling, inhaling shakily to try and grasp your emotions as they threaten to overflow.
“don’t say that. you can’t-” she scoffs, standing up from the couch abruptly. she paces around the room, rubbing her forehead to soothe the ache of her racing thoughts. you hear her breathing become more laboured as each second passes, her hands quivering as she points an accusatory finger towards you, looking at you for the first time since your confession. “that’s not fair.”
“robin-” your voice comes out in a pathetic whimper as you stand up as well, eyes wide and apologetic. tears drip down your cheeks, a sharp sob threatening to escape your lips. 
“don’t.” she puts her hand out, stopping you from stepping any closer to her. her head shakes vigorously, and you can hear her small sniffles as she tries to fight back the tears that ultimately betray her, cascading down her face in steady streams. 
“please just let me talk!” you sob, and she falters. her hand drops, and you hesitantly take a step forward. shaky hands reach up to cup her face, thumbs wiping away the tears that fall from her eyes. hers wrap around your wrists and, by the way she’s looking at you, eyes wide and uncertain, you can tell she’s debating pushing you away or pulling you closer. 
when she says nothing, you step even closer. your forehead presses against her own, closing your eyes as you let her presence consume your senses. you feel her hair tickle your cheeks, the smell of jasmine tea and her spearmint toothpaste surrounding you in everything that is robin. your robin. 
“i need you, robs a-and i-” a choked sob leaves your lips, struggling to speak from the intensity of emotion that swarms your entire being. “i can’t keep doing this without you. please, i love you… so fucking much.” 
she doesn't respond. your eyes snap open when you feel her hands leave your wrists, before she grabs your own face and pulls you in for a kiss. it’s messy and uncoordinated, lips and teeth mashing together in a desperate show of affection. your hands snake back into her hair, pulling her even closer, years of love and hurt pouring into one kiss. her grip is almost bruising as her fingers press into your cheeks, almost as if she doesn’t believe that it’s real. that as soon as she lets go you’ll disappear and she’ll wake up in her bed. alone. 
when she reluctantly pulls away, you’re both gasping for breath. her thumbs drag across your cheeks, and you feel yourself crumbling with every swipe. her gaze is filled with unmistakable adoration, yet the smile on her lips is void of true undisturbed joy. “i love you.”
“please…” you whisper, and you briefly question how pathetic you must truly look as you plead with her, begging for her forgiveness. your hands run through her hair almost desperately, savouring the feeling of being with her like this. “give me another chance, please.”
“you know i can’t do that,” her words drip with guilt and regret and she looks at you with pity. such pity you couldn’t stand at any other point but now, where your dignity has dissolved into nothing but hopeless pleading.
“we can try it, please i-i need you..”
"you know we’ll only hurt each other more.” she tilts her head to press a final, tender kiss to your forehead. it lingers, neither of you really wanting it to end before she takes a step back. her hands fall away from your face to wipe away her own tears. she clears her throat, taking a deep breath to pull herself together before meeting your eyes once more. one last look, the kind that says a million words yet not enough, as she utters her next words. the same way she told you to leave that fateful day two years ago.
“go home.”
the love you shared was poison and you, an addict. her final words a mockery of your existence, as without her you had no home to return to. a lost soul, cursed to walk the earth for the rest of eternity - unable to find the missing piece.
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southelroydrive · 1 year ago
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robin buckley x selectively mute!reader hcs
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pairings: robin buckley x f!reader synopsis: headcanons for robin with a girlfriend who has selective mutism. word count: 0.3k a/n: is this me projecting because i so desperately want a girlfriend who does this for my selective mutism? yes absolutely
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first of all, she's so happy that you trusted her enough to tell her - she's immediately pulling you into a hug, holding you close to her as her mind races with how to help you.
she spends all of her free time over the following few weeks at the library, trying to find out everything and anything she can about it and what she can do to help you feel more comfortable.
will not hesitate to put someone in their place if they're rude to you, no matter who it is.
on that note, has almost punched one of the kids after they made a joke about how quiet you are.
(it was during a movie night at steve's)
(it was definitely mike)
(she kicked him in the back of the head instead)
when you meet her loved ones - friends or family - she'll always reassure you that there's no pressure, to open up to them at your own pace. If you're comfortable with it, she'll tell them about it to make sure they understand.
and when you do eventually warm up to them, she has the biggest grin on her face as she watches you talk to them - she's so proud of you <3
she never wants to make you feel uncomfortable - would honestly rather die than stress you out.
robin talks a lot, which takes the stress of filling silences or starting conversations off your shoulders easily.
she's a great storyteller and you're a great listener.
you and her have found ways to communicate nonverbally - whether it's by passing looks or the squeezing of hands, robin will always have a way to make sure you're okay at all times.
she's learned what situations make you anxious, and the telltale signs of when you start to panic - will try to calm you down or take you somewhere safer if possible.
if a teacher sets a presentation for class, she's already talking to them to try and help you out - already knowing the stress and panic it would cause you.
if that doesn't work, maybe she'll bring nancy along next time for some 'light' threatening and suddenly you're excused <3
even if she can't relate to you fully, she'll always be your number one place of support.
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southelroydrive · 1 year ago
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love is nothing, i am yours.
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pairing: nancy wheeler x f!reader summary: self-care date with your girlfriend, nancy word count: 1.2k title: generous heart by maya hawke warnings: none a/n: first fic for my other wife before pride month ends, enjoy :]
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the lively beat of madonna’s ‘into the groove’ fills the cosy space of nancy’s bedroom, blanketing the sound of hushed giggles and the smacking of lips against lips from the outside world. 
you’re both sat cross-legged on the floor, your girlfriend’s entire collection of nail polishes littered across the carpet. with every shade imaginable, glitters and shimmers that sparkle in the dying sunlight which streams through the window. 
your back is pressed against her bed, feeling the soft floral comforter against your skin. she sits opposite you, close enough for her bare knee to graze yours. you had both long changed into your sleepwear, matching silky tops and shorts that let your bodies brush against the others as you sat close together.
with your hand being held in her gentle grip, her thumb rubs against your knuckles as she paints your fingernails. she’s humming along to the melody, bottom lip trapped between her teeth as she delicately strokes the brush onto your nails. a crease forms between her brows, furrowed in concentration and you fight the urge to smooth over it with the pad of your thumb. her brown curls pinned neatly out of her face, allowing you to admire every inch of her face. pink flushed cheeks, matching the hue of her glossy lips and lashes fluttering with every blink of her pretty blue eyes. all on display for your admiring gaze.
she looks up, eyes locking onto yours as her ministrations pause. her face relaxes, softening under your gaze.
“what’re you looking at, hm?” her head tilts to the side in curiosity, lips quirking in amusement. her eyes never deter from your own, even as her lips purse to blow air onto the wet layer of polish.
“you.” you bite the inside of your cheek, a teasing smile resting on your lips. you watch as she rolls her eyes, a soft chuckle leaving her as she lets go of your hand. you rest each palm on the floor, either side of her hips as you lean closer to her.
“oh yeah?” she raises an eyebrow inquisitively, face so close to yours you feel her hot breath fan across your lips with each word she speaks. “and why’s that?”
“cause…” you shrug, leaning forward to connect her lips with yours. it’s short and sweet, both of you smiling into the kiss before you inch away. “you’re just so beautiful.”
a small scoff leaves her lips, hands trailing down your sides until they reach your hips. she gently tugs you forward, guiding you to straddle her waist and sit yourself in her lap. “i should be saying that about you.” 
“just take the compliment, nance.” you laugh lightly, hands reaching up to rest on either side of her face. you stroke your thumbs over her cheekbones, watching the flush darken and the corners of her eyes crease as she smiles. 
she laughs with you, hands leaving your hips to gently hold your wrists. “you’ll ruin all my hard work, pretty girl,” she mumbles, guiding your hands away from her face. she presses her lips against your knuckles, careful to avoid the fresh coat of polish. 
you smile, looking down at her with an affectionate gaze. she looks back at you, her gaze mirroring yours as your hands fall to your sides and hers return to their rightful place on your hips. she tilts her head up, pressing your lips together in a peck that makes your smile widen.
“oh!” you gasp suddenly, eyes widening in realisation. abruptly scrambling off her lap, you stand up from the floor. 
nancy’s eyes follow your movements, brows lacing together in confusion. she can’t help the amused smile that tugs at her lips, watching you hurriedly make your way around her room. “what is it, baby?”
you almost trip over your shoes, which you had left at the foot of her bed, in your eagerness. you hear a muffled giggle from your girlfriend, to which you shoot her a playful glare. you eventually reach her desk, without any casualties, and pick up something she can’t quite see.
“we almost forgot the most important part.” you turn back towards her with a bright grin. making your way back over to her, you sink to the floor, straddling her waist once again and hold up what you had been in such a hurry for. nancy immediately recognises the small pot as a clay face mask, knowing you had been waiting to try it with her for weeks.
she makes a small hum of acknowledgment, rubbing her thumbs over the bone of your hips as you place it on the floor beside you. you unscrew the lid, scooping the clay onto your finger. her eyes flutter shut, a soft smile settling on her lips as you spread it onto her face, one hand gently cradling her jaw as the other strokes the creamy substance across her cheek. 
you carefully paint her face, stealing chaste kisses from your lover as her eyes are closed. her hands squeeze your hips every time your lips meet hers, and you scold her for smiling too much - complaining that it’ll make the face mask crack until eventually you’re done. 
“there!” nancy’s eyes open, seeing the proud smile adorning your face as you gaze at your work. your smile morphs into a playful grin, mischief glimmering in your eyes as you tell her, “now you look even more beautiful.”
“oh really?” she rolls her eyes at your remark, a smirk growing on her lips. before you can respond, the wheeler girl scoops a generous amount of the clay onto her own finger and smears it across the tip of your nose. your sharp gasp makes her smile grow, “and now you do too.”
“babe!” you whine, not being able to stifle the laugh that escapes your throat at her actions. you make a poor effort of hiding your amusement, brows furrowing and lips jutting out into a pout. your girlfriend, on the other hand, is giggling to herself at your reaction. her grin turns into a pout, mocking you with a chuckle.
 “what?”
you roll your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. however, the unimpressed glare you give her only encourages her laughter. 
after another whine from you, her giggles fade, replaced by a smug grin. her hands cup your face, thumbs caressing your cheeks. “okay, okay. I’m sorry.”
“you better be, wheeler.” you huff, expression softening with every drag of her thumb across the apples of your cheeks. she chuckles in response, tilting your head down to press another kiss to your lips. it lingers much longer than the ones you’ve shared in the past few hours, her soft lips capturing yours in a display of tender affection. she feels your body melt into hers, chests pressed together. 
when you finally part, you find yourself in a daze, pupils blown wide with the love you hold for the girl in front of you. she smiles at you, one of sincerity and genuine adoration, as her fingers begin to spread the clay across your face in an even coat. you watch her every movement, much like before as she cares for you. she pauses, leaning down to press another, but much shorter, kiss to your lips.
“i’ll make it up to you later, baby. i promise.”
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southelroydrive · 1 year ago
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i'll make your body a habit.
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pairing: robin buckley x f!reader summary: you're the guitarist for corroded coffin, known for your flirtatious and confident attitude but little do your fans know how you really are when you're alone with your girlfriend. word count: 3.4k title: own my mind by måneskin warnings: smut (18+ mdni), fingering (f!receiving), oral (f!receiving), degradation, multiple orgasms, weed usage a/n: this has been sitting in my notes app for like 3 months and i finally finished it. happy pride everyone <3
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it was corroded coffin’s first gig outside of hawkins, a night you and your bandmates had been tirelessly preparing for over the last few weeks. four hours away from the small town of hawkins, indiana and filled with the promise of your first big break into the music industry.
yet, no one was more excited than your girlfriend robin. your sweet robin who was so proud to see her girl on that stage, living your dreams as a reality. your sweet robin who would travel to the ends of the earth just to see you perform.
she’s completely enamored by you as she stands in the crowd, steve right by her side. watching the way your hair sticks to your forehead, beads of sweat rolling down your temple as your fingers dance across the strings of your guitar. the way your hips sway, wide grin stamped on your lips as you let the music lead your movements. heavenly, that’s how she’d describe you.
a tight leather corset covered your torso, tits glistening with perspiration and practically spilling out the top. she couldn’t take her eyes off you even if she wanted to. or your smooth legs completely on display from the miniskirt adorning your waist. deep red in colour, which matches the tint of your lips, dripping in chains and safety pins that robin had watched you meticulously place the night before. watching the way the chains bounced with every snap of your hips to the rhythm of the song, she now knew why as the movement seemed almost hypnotic.
from the corner of his eye, steve can’t help but chuckle at the look of pure infatuation glossing over his best friend’s eyes. he nudges her with his elbow, making her reluctantly tear her gaze away from you to look at him with a frown.
“you’re so whipped, man.” he smirks, the freckled girl only rolling her eyes in response, a muttered “shut up.” falling upon deaf ears before turning back to the stage.
every time you lift your head to catch her eyes, your plump lips curl into an amused smile. your bottom lip trapped between your teeth, you send her a playful wink before looking away. robin can’t help but let the corners of her mouth twist up into a smirk, crossing her arms over her chest as her eyes linger down the length of your body. god, was she lucky.
by the end of your set, your chest is heaving with every deep breath that exhales from your mouth. a bright, toothy grin that lit up the room more than the blinding stage lights ever could spread across your lips as you look out at the crowd. with a bow and the sharing of a few final words, it’s finally over. the grin on your lips never leaving as you follow your bandmates off the stage.
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“birdie!”
robin’s eyes snap towards your direction upon hearing your voice. she had just found her way backstage, where you stood beside your fellow bandmates a few metres away. your cheeks flushed bright red, panting for breath and veins bursting with adrenaline. beside you, she sees eddie’s lips moving in what she can only assume is a teasing remark by your reaction. you roll your eyes, shoving his shoulder as you rush past him over to your girlfriend, who envelops you in her arms once the gap between you finally closes.
“oh my god, babe!” her hands cradle the sides of your face, beaming down at you as she presses a sweet kiss to your lips.
“you.” she kisses you again. “were.” and again. “so.” and again. “fucking amazing!”
this time, her lips kiss yours deeply, lingering for just a moment before pulling back. your scarlet lipstick is now smudged, making her own lips pretty pink and glossy. you chuckle at the sight, leaning in to press a final kiss to her lips.
her hands slip to your waist, holding you close to her chest. yours wrap around her neck, fiddling with the ends of her hair. “so… you liked it?”
“are you kidding me?” she laughs, tugging you closer until your body is flush against hers. “you know i love watching you perform, you’re so talented baby.” her hands gently lower to your hips, her thumbs rubbing circles on the bone.
“oh yeah?” you raise an eyebrow, a small smile on your lips as you peer up at her through your eyelashes. you tilt your head up, lips inches away from her own. “well, i’m pretty talented at other things too, maybe we coul-“
“hey, ladies!” you groan, pulling your face away from robin’s as eddie slings his arm over your shoulder. a shit-eating grin takes its place on his face, clearly pleased with the flush of embarrassment dusting both yours and your girlfriend’s cheeks. “are you two coming or what?”
you shove his face away from your side, rolling your eyes at his antics. “you’re such an asshole, you know that?” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest as you give him an unimpressed glare, yet the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of your lips gives you away. this only makes his grin widen, winking at you before turning on his heel. “love you too, sweetheart!” he calls over his shoulder, curly mop of hair disappearing into the bar.
robin’s hand returns to its place on your hip. her other hand gently cupping your cheek and tilting your face up towards her. “hey.”
“m’gonna kill him, i swear,” you mumble, gaze softening under her gentle caress. you lean your cheek into her palm, sighing exasperatedly.
“some other time, yeah? gotta celebrate your big show.” robin pats your cheek affectionately before her hand falls to her side, the other slipping to the small of your back to gently guide you in the direction of the green room.
“fine, fine.” you roll your eyes a final time, a playful smile on your lips as you lean your head against her shoulder.
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you spend the next few hours surrounded by your friends, rejoicing in the simmering adrenaline in your veins and the pungent smell of weed. the worn loveseat in the corner of the green room is occupied by you and your girlfriend, sat side by side. your legs drape across her lap, propping your elbow up on the back of the couch. her palm settles on your plush thigh, fingers fidgeting with the chains dangling from your skirt.
you bring the joint in between your fingers to your lips and inhale the smoke into your lungs, before exhaling. your body relaxes back into the chair, letting the drug take its effect on your body. she takes the joint from you, taking a hit herself.
you admire the way her lips wrap around it, held between her slim fingers. your mind can’t help but stray, already fuzzy from the high clouding your mind. you shift a little in your seat, an uncomfortable ache growing between your legs. her eyes meet yours, catching your movements as smoke spills from her lips. she glances around before leaning her head down so only you could hear her.
“something wrong, doll?” her voice drops down to a low, husky hum making the pool of arousal between your legs harder to ignore. her fingers trail up further to fiddle with the hem of your skirt before slipping underneath, feeling the plush skin of your inner thighs.
you shake your head, breath hitching as her fingertips inch closer and closer to where you were begging for her. she kisses her teeth, pinching the inside of your thigh before pulling her hand away. a small whine escapes your throat before you're biting down on your tongue, eyes darting around to see if any of your friends noticed. they didn’t, too immersed in their conversations to pay the two of you any mind.
you hear robin chuckle from beside you, turning to her with a glare. your bottom lip juts out into a pout, only causing your girlfriend’s lips to curl into an amused smirk. “don’t be pouty, baby. you’ll get what you want later.”
your eyes widen, sitting up straighter as you lean in closer to her. “whatever i want?” the curious tilt of your head as your chin rests on her shoulder and the glimmer of excitement sparkling in your eyes almost persuades her to take you to your car that minute. god, she didn’t even think you’d make it to the car and make use of the shitty public restrooms of the gross, dingy bar you were in. but no, that’s not what robin wanted. you deserved the best that night.
“mhm hm. like i said, we gotta celebrate your big show.” she smiles with a shrug of her shoulders, leaning back against the couch as she takes another long drag from the blunt. you can’t help but squirm in your seat, eyes fixated on her for the rest of the night.
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robin loved a woman who knew what she wanted, someone who would stop at nothing to achieve their dreams. she loved seeing you on stage, exuding dominance that certainly earned you a dedicated fan base. she loved your flirty and confident nature that could make anyone swoon, her included. and fuck, did she think you looked pretty when you were in your element, fingers wrapped around the neck of your guitar.
but looking at you now, robin thought you never looked prettier than in moments like these.
legs spread wide open in the backseat of your car, skirt bunched up around your waist and lace panties discarded as two long fingers curl inside your plush walls. the leather corset long forgotten, your tits lightly bouncing with every buck of your hips.
your hands grip her wrist, nails digging into her skin as her fingers pump in and out of you at a relentless pace. eyes half-lidded, swollen lips parted. your pussy drools onto the leather seat below you, your inner thighs glistening with your arousal but you’re too far gone to care. as pathetic moans spill from your throat, your hips mindlessly roll against her hand, silently begging for more.
“such a greedy girl, aren’t you? look at you, two fingers stuffed in your needy cunt and you still want more.” she chuckles, eyes darkened with lust as she stares down at you. if she thought you looked heavenly earlier, the image before her now would put that to shame. chest rising and falling with every pant that leaves your puffy, glossy lips, eyes struggling to stay open as she pushes your body closer to pleasure.
her condescending tone goes straight to your head, making your mind even more fuzzy and a whine fall from your lips. the only thing worth thinking about is her and the feeling of her fingers pushing inside of you. your free hand flails to find something to grab onto, landing on her shoulder with a firm grip as she reaches that spongy spot deep inside of you. the car fills with the filthy sounds of her fingers pumping inside of you, along with the broken cries of her name.
“yeah? that feel good? come on, pretty girl. tell me what you want.” her lips graze the shell of your ear, voice a sensual whisper but her words are truly cruel. with the way her fingers are fucking into you, it’s impossible to think let alone speak. your eyes snap up to look at her, brows laced together in a pleading expression as incoherent whimpers leave your lips.
she chuckles, the sound taunting in your ear. “don’t be shy now, i just wanna make you feel good, baby. be a good girl and tell me.” she coos, pressing her lips against your jaw. her fingers continue their merciless pace, her thumb beginning to rub torturous circles on your poor, neglected clit.
“r-robbie please!” you let out a choked gasp as her thumb presses against your clit, a loud moan falling from your lips. your breathing becomes heavier, clenching around her fingers as she pushes you closer and closer to the edge. “god, fuck! baby, m’gonna-“
“yeah? you gonna cum for me?” robin’s almost as breathless as you, her finger hooking under your chin to force your gaze to lock onto hers. as much as your girlfriend loved to tease you and wanted to make you beg for it, tonight was about rewarding you. she looks down at you, eyes hooded with a smirk tugging at her lips when you nod desperately. “go ahead, doll. cum all over my fingers.”
a choked moan leaves your lips, eyes almost rolling back into your head as you gush around her fingers. your thighs tremble uncontrollably, hips involuntarily rolling against her hand as you ride your high. robin feels her own cunt throb as she watches you reach your climax. your face scrunched up in pleasure, walls clamped down around her fingers as they slow, prolonging your pleasure.
“holy shit.” you pant heavily, gasping for breath. your grip on her shoulder loosens, slumping back against the leather seats. a dazed smile rests on your lips, eyelashes fluttering as you come down from your intense orgasm.
“look at you, my gorgeous girl.” she sighs dreamily, nose grazing your cheek as she eases her fingers out of you. she could almost moan from the sight of your juices dripping down her hand, lifting her head to look directly at you as she slips them into her mouth, making a show of licking them clean.
you watch her with bated breath, cheeks flushing in embarrassment as you watch her. pink lips wrapping around slick fingers, her eyes boring into yours as she does so. your trembling thighs press together, a new wave of arousal washing over your body despite how sensitive you were.
her eyes flutter shut, a satisfied groan leaving her lips as her tongue swirls around her fingers. she pulls them out of her mouth with an audible pop, a small smirk tugging at her lips as she sees the way your body reacts. her head tilts down, hot breath tickling your cheek. “you taste so fucking good, baby. you drive me insane.” she mumbles, eyes blown wide with lust as she cradles your jaw.
another pathetic whimper barely escapes from your lips before she’s silencing you with her own. the kiss is sloppy, tongues swirling together hungrily.
when she finally pulls away, her forehead presses against yours as she gazes down at you, smirking at the sight of your flushed cheeks and the uneven rise and fall of your breath, all just for her to see. the hand on the side of your neck shifts to wrap around your throat, a sharp gasp leaving you at the action.
she chuckles, applying a small amount of pressure around your neck, just enough to have a small mewl escape your throat. “yeah? is this what you wanted, doll?” her voice is a seductive rasp, breath fanning across your face. “poor baby just wanted me to treat her like a dirty whore, hm?”
the frantic nod of your head is a clear answer for her. her lips twitch in amusement. “that’s what i thought.”
her grip tightens, pushing your head up with a gentle squeeze. her gaze locks onto yours, half-lidded eyes staring deeply into your own. “you look so pathetic like this. what would they say, baby? what would all those people say if they knew how much of a slut you were for me, hm?”
you whine, an arm lifting up to hide your face in your elbow as her words fill you with embarrassment.
she shushes you, gently guiding your arm back down to your side. “i know, sweet girl… only i can see you like this.” she whispers, her hand moving away to instead grip your thighs firmly.
her lips slowly make their way down your body, shuffling down the backseat of your car. they skim down the valley of your tits, down your stomach. travelling further and further down until they ghost over the inside of your thighs.
your eyes widen as she hooks your legs over her shoulders. she smirks when she comes face to face with your pussy, eyes trained on yours as she leans down.
her tongue slowly slides through your folds, coating it with your slick. she groans, eyelashes momentarily fluttering as she laps up your juices. you let out a high-pitched moan, hand flying to her hair to stable yourself. the vibrations of her grunts and hums make your grip tighten, grabbing fistfuls of her hair.
she’s merciless. tongue licking and sucking like a woman starved. her hands wrap around your thighs, pulling you closer as her tongue flattens against your folds, slowly dragging up and up until she reaches your clit. her eyes stare up into yours, watching your face twist in pleasure, jaw becoming slack as she wraps her lips around your puffy clit. it elicits a sharp whine from your throat. your hands run through her hair, unable to decide between tugging her away from your sensitive cunt or pushing her head closer.
“fuck, fuck, fuck! ohmygod, r-robs!” the words spilling from your lips are nothing but incoherent whimpers, babbling uncontrollably as she sucks harshly on your clit. hips mindlessly rutting against her face, hands feverishly tugging strands of her hair. you feel her lips curl into a smirk against you, blue eyes piercing through your half-lidded ones.
your thoughts are practically mush, consumed by the overwhelming pleasure that drives you closer and closer to another orgasm. robin can tell, by the way your trembling thighs clench around her head, pushing her even further between your legs, and the way your moans get more breathless and whiny.
she reluctantly pulls her mouth away. the hot breath hitting your pussy, making you squirm. “come on, pretty girl. you gonna give me another one, hm?” she peers up at you, watching your vigorous nod and the desperate buck of your hips. a small chuckle leaves her before she’s burying her head between your thighs once more, eating you out as if her life depended on it.
it’s not long until your back arches off the leather seat, a final broken cry of her name spilling from your lips as you cum on her tongue. she lets out a soft groan, greedily lapping up everything you give her.
“b-baby s’too much!” you whine as her tongue continues to glide through your folds. your thighs tremble with sensitivity around her head, inevitably pulling her mouth away with a harsh tug to her hair.
her mouth detaches from you with a soft laugh. your feet landing on the floor with a soft thud as she sits up on her knees, your legs slipping from her shoulders. “i know, i know. i’m sorry, sweet girl.” she chuckles, patting your thigh comfortingly.
she leans down, resting her forehead against yours as her hands trail up your sides. her touch admiring every dip and curve of your body. there’s a moment of silence between you both, only your heavy breaths filling the void. she tilts her head, pressing her lips against your forehead before leaning back. her back hits the car door, hands finding purchase on your hips as she pulls you into her lap.
her arms wrap around your waist, holding you close to her chest as your face nuzzles into the crook of her neck. she sighs contentedly, nails grazing over the bare skin of your back as your breath tickles her collarbones.
“i’m so proud of you, baby,” she murmurs, pressing her lips against your temple. you hum in response, shuddering as her nails rake over your spine.
“thank you…” you mumble, breath fanning across her neck as you place a tender kiss to her collarbones. her lips curl into a smile, feeling your own smile against her skin.
she puts both her hands on either side of your head, gently lifting it up to look at her. she gazes down at you with pure adoration in her eyes, fingertips grazing your cheekbones as she tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
“my gorgeous, talented girl.” she smiles fondly, touch lingering on your face before she’s pulling you into a sweet kiss.
you could get used to this kind of post-show celebration.
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southelroydrive · 1 year ago
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the tide is in, it will go out.
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pairing: robin buckley x f!reader summary: your girlfriend helps you through a depressive episodeword count: 1.9k title: restless moon by maya hawke warnings: reader suffers from mental health problems, reader talking bad about themselves. a/n: half written during a depressive episode cause why go to therapy when you can write fanfiction instead?
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you knew the world was slowly slipping away from you. as the days turned into weeks, you knew that it was getting bad again. the ache in your chest grew heavier and heavier with each day that passed, a burden on your shoulders as time dragged by. so overwhelmed by emotion that you were numb. feeling everything at once but yet nothing at all. emotions too complicated to put into words.
and when the numbness pulled you into its embrace, your energy drained with it. you pulled away from the people you loved, isolating yourself to preserve what little energy you had to designate it to simply existing. everything became too much.
this wasn’t the first time robin had witnessed you go through something like this. in your years of friendship and eventual relationship, she knew when to give you the space you craved and when to step in. and today was that day.
after a gruelling shift at family video, the only thing your girlfriend wanted was to see you. with one of your favourite movies in hand and some snacks she hoped to persuade you to eat, she waved goodbye to steve as she walked up to your front door. his voice carried through the evening breeze as the car drove away, a reminder to say hi to you from him when she got in.
after opening the door with the spare key you gifted her not long ago, she made her way up the stairs to your bedroom. coming face to face with your door, she raised her fist to knock on the wood softly.
no response.
“baby?” she calls, her voice gentle and dripping with worry.
no response again. she almost considers turning back, thinking maybe she was wrong this time and you weren’t ready to see her. but she knew. she knew you needed someone, and she’d rather be tortured by russians again than leave you when you needed her most.
gently cracking open your bedroom door, she peers inside. her muscles relax, a deep sigh of relief leaving her lips as she takes in the sight of you asleep. fully stepping into your room now, she can see your features illuminated by the soft light on your bedside table.
she steps closer to the bed, the mattress dipping under her weight as she sits beside your sleeping form. from here, she can make out the small crease in your forehead, lips downturned into a grimace. even in your sleep, you’re not completely at peace.
her own lips twist into a frown as she takes in your appearance. your eyes are puffy, tinted red along with the tip of your nose. cheeks pale and void of colour, wet with fresh tears that she brings a hand up to wipe away.
she can’t bring herself to wake you just yet, not when it’s likely the only sleep you’ve been getting given the dark circles beneath your eyes. instead, she heads downstairs. knowing your parents wouldn’t be home until later that night, she sets up the movie in the living room along with the selection of food and drinks she had gathered on the coffee table. she had just come back from the kitchen with two glasses in hand, when she hears your voice.
“robs?” it’s a meek, shaky call of her name. it makes her heart clench in her chest as she looks towards the origin of the sound, gaze landing on you.
you’re bundled up with a blanket clutched tightly over your frame as you descend the stairs, the fabric dragging across the steps behind you. she hears the soft thud of your feet meeting the wooden floor, the sound padded by the fluffy socks she recognises as the ones she bought you the previous christmas.
she remembers the bright laugh that left your lips when you uncovered the socks, complete with a cat’s paw print on the bottom. a ghost of a smile spreads across her lips when she remembers you smacking her over the head with a pillow, unimpressed with her response of “you are what you eat” when you asked what made her think of such a gift.
but those sweet smiles and angelic laughs are but a distant memory when she looks at you now, almost a shell of who you normally are.
“hey.” she offers you a sheepish smile, putting down the glasses on the table. “i hope you don’t mind, i uh-“ she scratches her arm nervously, looking down at the ground. “- i kinda invited myself in…”
“it’s fine.” your lips form into a tight-lipped smile, one that doesn’t quite meet your eyes. your gaze finally land on what she had set up in the living room, expression softening as you take in the sight. “what’s all this for?”
“oh! well…” she makes her way over to you, placing a gentle hand on your back to guide you towards the couch. she sits you down, quickly slumping down beside you with an arm slinging over your shoulders. “i just thought i’d do something to make you feel better, you know? remind you that i’m always here for you.” a warm smile rests on her face as she looks down at you, gaze filled with adoration.
“robbie…” your eyes grow misty, a small but genuine smile spreading across your own lips at her sincerity. your heart warms, turning to putty in your chest under her loving gaze. “you didn’t have to do all this.”
“maybe, but i wanted to.” she chuckles softly, gently wiping away stray tears from your cheek. her fingers graze over your cheekbones, carefully tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “gotta make sure you’re taking care of yourself, don’t i?”
you hum quietly, eyelashes fluttering at her feather-light caresses. “you’re too nice to me.” you murmur, head dropping to rest your cheek against her shoulder.
“hey…” she whines in offence, brows furrowing. she takes your chin between her thumb and pointer finger, tilting it upwards till you meet her gaze once more. “look at me… none of that, alright?”
“i’m serious, robs. i-“ you sigh shakily, tears brimming your eyes once more. “i really don’t deserve all this and i-i…”
“oh, baby.” she mumbles, reaching up to cradle the back of your head as she pulls you close to her chest. her other hand wraps around your waist, rubbing soothing circles on your back. you sniffle, a small sob escaping you as your walls begin to crumble. your emotions overflowing, spilling through the cracks.
a “let it all out, it’s okay…” from your girlfriend is all that it took to let those walls finally collapse. violent sobs wrack your body, hands balling into fists around the fabric of her shirt as your tears stream down your cheeks. her grip around you tightens, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as she holds you closer to her. she strokes your back, up and down, fingertips dancing across your spine in an effort to soothe you.
and she continues to hold you as you sob and you sob until your tears eventually dry. your body trembles in her hold with every shaky breath, her soft whispers and touches of comfort lulling you into a relaxed state.
“i’m sorry.” robin could almost feel her heart crack at the sound of your voice. it’s pained and dripping with guilt, like you were convinced that your vulnerability was a burden to her. “what’re you apologising for, love?”
“i just- i know i can be difficult, a-and i know that it can be frustrating when i get like this and i just- fuck i don’t know, i’m just a lot to deal with and i d-don’t know why you put up with me-“
“hey, hey, hey- look at me.” she cups your face in her hands, effectively stopping your rambling. you reluctantly glance up at her, swallowing a lump in your throat.
she tilts her head down, pressing her forehead against yours. she takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly before speaking.
“i don’t ‘put up’ with you, okay? i do this because i love you, and i care about you.” she whispers, voice cracking as she gazes down at you with a sympathetic smile. “and i know it’s difficult but i’m always gonna be here for you. you know that. you don’t have to do this alone.”
silence follows as she gently caresses you, wiping away your doubt with every soft stroke of her thumb over the apples of your cheeks. only the sound of your quiet sniffles being heard.
“okay.” your voice is a mere whisper, barely audible. but she hears it, making her lips curl into a tender smile.
“okay?”
“mhm.” you nod, looking up at her with a weak smile of your own. but it’s there. and she can see the glimmer in your eyes returning, knowing her girl is back.
“good, because now we have a movie to watch.” she chuckles, patting your cheek affectionately before getting up from the couch. you watch her move towards your tv, holding up the tape of your favourite movie with a grin, which only widens when she sees your face light up in excitement. she makes quick work of getting everything ready before returning to her rightful place beside you.
“c’mere, sweet girl.” she coos, leaning back against the arm of the couch. her arms are wide open, legs spread enough for you to comfortably sit between them. you let out a small laugh before quickly shuffling over to sit right where she wanted you. her arms wrap around your waist, pulling you back against her chest. your heads tilt to the side to gaze at the screen, her cheek pressed against the top of your head.
as you lean back against her, engulfed in the comforting warmth of your girlfriend’s embrace, you let yourself finally take in everything she had done for you. your heart fills with gratitude and appreciation for the freckled girl behind you.
you tilt your head to look up at her, admiring the way the screen lights up her features or how her brows furrow in concentration as she watches the movie, a remark about the plot on the tip of her tongue. and you watch the way her pretty blue eyes snap down to look at you when you mutter a “thank you.”
a soft smile spreads across her lips, her gaze just as soft with love. “i know, i’m the best girlfriend ever.” a small chuckle escapes her lips, you feel the vibrations from her chest against your back. you’re familiar with the sarcasm dripping from her words, yet your quiet hum of agreement is entirely truthful. to you, there is no doubt that she is.
her smile widens, creases appearing at the corner of her eyes. your smile mirrors her own, before returning to the movie. one of the hands around your waist laces with your own, her thumb tracing over the dips and valleys of your knuckles. she leans down, pressing a tender kiss to your neck. her lips graze over your skin, barely touching. a kiss as sweet and adoring as her love for you.
and as you bask in the movement, surrounded by the warmth of robin’s love, you know that she’ll always be there.
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southelroydrive · 2 years ago
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late july.
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pairing: robin buckley x f!reader summary: sleepy morning smut with robin word count: 1.1k title: july by sir chloe warnings: scissoring (18+ mdni), not edited a/n: my dumb little gay brain wrote this to try and get out of my writer's block so sorry for not posting for like four months aaaa :] i kinda hate it but oh well
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the morning sun spills through the curtains, bathing the room in its light. you stir awake, eyes squinting from the sudden shift from darkness to the harsh sunlight.
as you finally blink away the sleep clinging to your eyelids, you find yourself staring up at the ceiling of your bedroom. 
you feel the weight on your side, gaze flickering down to see your girlfriend peacefully asleep. her chest rises and falls with every breath, the puff of air tickling your bare collarbones. her nose grazes the length of your neck, a deep breath exhaling from her as she snuggles closer. your arm feels heavy, completely numb as it rests underneath her head. the other finds it place on top of her own, haphazardly slung over your stomach. 
your thumb gently caresses her knuckles, a dreamy grin spreading across your lips as you look down at your lover. your heart warms, engulfing you in the comforting peace of moments like this. tangled in her arms, nothing worth thinking about except for what was contained in the four walls of your bedroom. 
you’re on the verge of drifting back into a peaceful slumber, head sinking into the pillows when you feel her fingers lace with your own. gaze shifting down once more, you meet her eyes, deep ocean blue in a sleepy daze. your smile returns, though you doubt it ever left, gently bringing your conjoined hands to your lips. you place a feather-light kiss to her hand, lips skimming over smooth skin before they return to your stomach. her lips twist into a small grin, offering a soft squeeze to your hand in return. 
“morning.” her voice is raspy, thick with sleep. your body ignites with a yearning to hear more. you turn your body, pressing your chest against hers. your legs tangle under the sheets, slipping together like a puzzle. hand drifting from hers to her face, thumb gliding over the freckled skin under her eyes. 
“morning.” your voice is barely above a whisper, breath fanning across her lips making her lick the dry skin. your gaze lowers, following her freckles like a map till they lead you to her lips. the coat of glistening wetness causing your breath to stutter in your throat. 
her free hand finds its home on the small of your back, gently pressing you forward. her eyes remain fixated on yours, the pure adoration and desire filling them making you putty in her arms. her head tilts down, meeting your lips in a tender kiss.
it’s slow and passionate, your lips gratefully drinking down the soft hums of contentment that escape her throat. her hand presses harder, arching your back to push you further into her. your hands snake around to find their place in her hair, tangling your fingers in the strands of soft brown waves. and she kisses you again and again.
when her lips finally drift from your own, it’s not long before they attach to your skin once more. trailing along your jaw, inching lower and lower to graze the column of your throat. your breath hitches, eyes fluttering close. “robin…” your voice is breathless, hands running through her hair. 
her lips detach from your neck, lifting her head to meet your eyes. her gaze adoring, making you pliant under her touch. “mhm?” she hums, trapping your lips in a lingering kiss once more. she stares deeply into your eyes, her hand on your lower back slipping to your hips where she fiddles with the waistband of your underwear. “this okay?”
you nod, capturing her lips in yours again. your eyes are closed, almost drunk from the feeling of her lips against yours. you feel her hand slip underneath the little clothing adorning your frame, fingertips dipping under cotton. she elicits a whine from your lips when they meet your clit, overwhelming your body with pleasure. she greedily swallows the sound as her lips move against yours, the tip of her pointer finger rubbing circles around your sensitive bud. 
your hips instinctively roll against her hand. she feels the flex of your thigh against her clothed heat, causing her own gasps of pleasure to tumble from her lips. “keep going, baby.” she whispers against your lips. she presses firmly down on your clit, making your hips buck. your moans lace with hers, your breath becoming more and more ragged. 
“s-shit angel, need to feel you please.” her voice teeters on the edge of a whine, pathetic and begging as her hand leaves your panties. her hand travels up to your waist, gently pulling you on top of her. as you both position yourself, you lose what little clothing the two of you had left along the way. 
your legs slot together, skin glistening with sweat and chests heaving. her hands grip your hips, guiding you as she grinds you down on top of her. your mouth hangs open, eyes screwing shut as her cunt rubs against yours. you pant softly as your pace quickens, the growing arousal dripping from the both of you only making your movements easier. your hips stutter when your clits roll against each other, head falling forward. 
robin stares up at you with pure love in her eyes, soft whines of pleasure tumbling out of her lips as you rub against her. her cheeks are flushed a pretty pink, bottom lip trapped between her teeth. her hands keep a firm grip on your hips, guiding you faster and faster until you’re both desperately humping the other, chasing release.
your hands press against her chest, snaking up to palm her tits. your thumb grazes over her nipples, eliciting whimpers from the freckled girl. she removes one of her hands from your hips, the other still aiding your feverish movements as she cups your jaw. she brings your lips to hers in a messy kiss. you both whine and moan into each others mouths as you get closer and closer. 
 she feels your legs tremble, pressing into your hips harder. a small cry of pleasure leaves your lips as you cum, voice muffled by her lips that stay glued to your own. your pussy throbs against hers, pushing robin over the edge shortly after with a loud whine. 
you slump into her chest, mind fuzzy with the soft bliss of contentment. she wraps her arms around your waist, holding you against her body. you both lay there, exhausted yet never feeling so alive. skin grazing skin with delicate caresses.
“i love you.” you mumble into her chest, voice muffled and barely understandable but the words cause her to grin. 
“i love you too.” she presses a kiss to the top of your head, rubbing soothing circles on the bare skin of your back as you slip into a comforting silence. 
you both decide to stay in bed a little longer than usual that morning.
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southelroydrive · 2 years ago
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the sun and the moon. (p.2)
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p.1 pairing: Robin Buckley x F!Reader (from Robin's POV) word count: 1k warnings: none
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“stop moving!” she laughs, the sound reminiscent of angels singing from the heavens above. her delicate fingers wrapped around my wrist, brows furrowing in concentration.
a sheepish smile spreads across my lips, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “sorry…” i mumble, eyes scanning over her face as she works intently. her gentle touch sending electricity through my body as the needle pricked my skin.
“don’t worry, i’m almost done” her voice is gentle, her words enveloping me in her warm embrace.
finally, her fingers slipped from my wrist. leaning back with a satisfied smile on her face, she admired her handiwork. i followed her gaze, looking down at my forearm where the image stood proudly on my skin.
she hummed, resting her arm next to my own. my heart swelled at the sight before me. on both our forearms stood the sun and the moon. the fine lines decorating our skin, exquisite on their own but together of indescribable beauty. her fingertips traced the lines of her arm and i dare to look up at her face.
her eyes reflected the same brightness as the sun and my heart burned at the same intensity. her gaze meets mine, our eyes locked in a sweet moment of serenity and peace, a wordless understanding. no matter where we were, she was my sun and i was her moon. so close, yet so far but we’d always cross paths again.
or at least that’s what i told myself. but as time slowly passed, seeing her again became less and less likely. we had reached a fork in the road, our dreams and aspirations leading us to stray far apart. there wasn’t a day that went by that i didn’t think of her, that missed her radiance on a rainy day or her warm embrace when the world turned cold.
but here i was, two years later. hours away from Hawkins, the town i once loathed. mindlessly pacing down aisles of movie rentals, searching for that sliver of nostalgia only one movie could bring. a small sigh of relief escapes me as my eyes land on the familiar title. i reach out to grab it before my hand meet another’s.
before i can pull my hand away, spewing apologies from my mouth, the hand grasps my wrist, tugging at the sleeve of my sweater.
“robin?”
her. her voice is small, almost hesitant, like she’s convinced herself she’s wrong. when my eyes meet hers, all doubt is erased. her gaze flickers between my face and the moon still stood proudly on my skin, a reflection of my adoration for her. a bright smile spreads across her lips, her radiance permeating my mind once more, as if it had never left.
“hi…” i mentally kick myself for not saying more. i had dreamed of this moment for so long but now, as she stood in front of me, my voice failed me.
“hi…” she repeated, almost whispering the words. her grip loosens on my wrist before pulling away completely and it takes every ounce of control in my body not to grab her hand and lace it with mine. she clears her throat, standing upright before glancing at the shelf.
“is it still one of your favourites?” she noticed my confusion at her question, taking the movie off the shelf and holding it out to me. “children of paradise, i mean”
i wave my hands dismissively “no, no- i mean yes, it is but i mean no as in you take it- i’d uh, i’d prefer for you to have it” the words tumble out of my mouth, my brain barely processing what I’m saying as that familiar buzz of nervousness swirls around in my stomach. it would only ever happen with her. i tried to move on, see other girls but none of them made my heart pound against my chest the way she did.
a small giggle escapes her throat, making my legs weak. the sound like the sweetest music ever heard. “well, if you insist…” she holds the movie to her chest, looking down at the floor as she shuffles on her feet.
“right, uhm” i look down at my feet, fiddling with my rings. the urge to say something, anything to her just to make the interaction last longer overcame me, mouth opening to start speaking.
“so-“
“would you-“
we both glance back up at each other, laughing softly as our voices overlap. i gesture my hand towards her, offering to let her finish speaking first.
i don’t miss the dusting of pink coating her cheek as she looks away again. “would you like to watch it with me? just like we used to?” her voice is hopeful, her eyes meeting mine once more. there’s something riddled in her voice that i can’t quite pinpoint but any form of doubt is overshadowed by the wide, pleading eyes she looks up at me with.
i nod without a second thought, knowing i probably looked stupid with the bright grin spreading across my face that made my cheeks hurt. but it was all worth it when her smile replicated mine.
“great! uhm, are you free later?”
“yeah, yeah. is 7 okay?”
“mhm hm! here, I’ll write down my address for you”
soon, all arrangements were set and it was time for us to stray paths once more. this time, with the promise of seeing each other again that day. and as that girl stood in front of me, that radiant smile that seemed etched into her lips, i knew that it would always be her. no matter how much time passes, how far we may be, i will love her just like the sun and the moon.
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southelroydrive · 2 years ago
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the sun and the moon.
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p.2 pairing: Robin Buckley x F!Reader word count: 0.3k warnings: none a/n: some phrases come from sappho's poetry because i am currently obsessed
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"no but steve, you don't get it! i just-" robin groans, dragging her hands down her face in frustration.
"listen, Robs. you like her, she likes you so what's the problem?" steve glances at his best friend, tapes stacked in his hands as he traverses around the store.
"yeah, as a friend! she'll never love me like i love her and i don't want to ruin the friendship we have because i don't know what i'd do without her and- why are you giving me that look?"
steve turns to the girl, a grin spread across his face. "steve, seriously. why are you looking at me like that? it's weird!"
"you love her"
robin's eyes widen, heat rising up cheeks. she'd never said it out loud before. suddenly, the air felt suffocating. her hands gripped the edge of the counter tightly to stop them from shaking.
"so what if i do?" her voice is quiet, almost scared she'd hear even if she wasn't there.
but she knew love could only get her so far. she was the sun and she was the moon. destined to never meet, but to love from afar. loving her felt like a curse and a blessing. blessed by her beauty, her light that she brought into robin's life. she hung the stars in her skies but she was the fairest of them all. cursed by the reality that she could never have her. that she'd never have her look at her the same way she did. that their love was simply a fantasy; for slender aphrodite had overcome her with a longing for a girl, one she couldn't have. she dreamed that maybe they'd meet in another life, where they could be free but until then she'll love her from afar.
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southelroydrive · 2 years ago
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my girl, my girl, my girl.
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pairings: Robin Buckley x F!Reader summary: Since your Freshman year at Hawkins, you spent every lunch on the roof top, alone. You're now in your final year and the world seems to have different plans for you this October. Inspired by 'we fell in love in october' by girl in red. word count: 2.1k warnings: smoking, swearing, a/n: I can't write summaries?? i love writing fanfics based on sapphic songs????
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Growing up in Hawkins was never easy for you. Every day was spent drowning in a pit of self-pity and loneliness whilst you tried to remain as invisible as possible. You blended into the shadows of your high-school corridors and that would never change.
You had gotten pretty good at it, the whole 'being invisible' thing. Some could argue that you were depressingly good at it. God, even some of your teachers wouldn't be able to recall your name or face, despite being in their classes for years.
Nobody at Hawkins High knew who you were and you wanted to keep it that way. With just one more school year till you could escape the hellhole they called Hawkins, nothing was going to stop you. But that all changed, that one day in October.
It was a cool autumn day; the bell had finally rung, signalling the start of your lunch period. You shoved your things into your bag, slinging the strap over your shoulder. Students poured out of their classrooms, flowing into the cafeteria. The corridors filled with the buzz of teenagers and the drumming of footsteps. You sighed, dodging and weaving against the crowd. You were careful not to bump into anyone, not in the mood for some asshole with an inflated ego to yell at you for 'disrespecting' them. You whisked up the staircase to the second and then third floor, following the same route you did daily for the past three years. Eventually, you reach the door to the roof. The same one you entered every day, the same one that had a large 'DO NOT OPEN' sign that you ignored every day.
You weren't sure when this became your routine or when you figured out how to get onto the roof, but since then it had been your safe haven. Away from the passing glances from the 'popular kids' that seemed to judge every ounce of your existence and the sight of teenagers groping each other aggressively in the halls that made you want to vomit. It made your time at this school bearable, you weren't sure you would have survived if you hadn't found it. It was peaceful, serene and it's not like anyone else came up here... or so you thought.
It seemed the world had different plans for you that day. As you pushed the door open, feeling the bitter wind brush against your skin, your eyes fell onto the figure sitting a few metres away. Their back was to you, thick jacket covering their frame and fingers twirling the thin cord of what you could only assume to be a Walkman. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, accidentally letting the door slip from your fingers. The sound of the door slamming made the mysterious person snap their head towards you.
Your breath hitched as her eyes met yours. Of course, it had to be her.
"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realise anyone else came up here, I can leave if you want me to-" She stood abruptly, grabbing her bag off the floor and now was completely faced towards you. You were at a loss for words. Robin Buckley, the Robin Buckley was stood before you. Her light brown hair was slightly dishevelled from how quickly she ripped her headphones off her ears, strands of hair falling into her face that you had to stop yourself from tucking behind her ear. Her face had a twinge of red from the cold, making the constellations on her face disappear. She awkwardly shuffled on her feet as she rambled an apology, leading your gaze to her lips. You could probably write a thousand poetry books about Robin Buckley and every single little detail that made Robin, Robin but when it came to her lips, your brain short-circuited. The only thing you could think about was how soft they looked and how they would feel...
"Uh, are you okay?"
"Huh?" Fuck, you're an idiot. You tore your gaze away from her lips, hoping that the flush of your cheeks could just be excused from the cold air. A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips, parting them slightly so her pearly white teeth could just be seen and making it impossibly difficult to not look at her lips.
"I can leave if you want, I just came up here for some peace but if you want to be alone I totally get it. I didn't mean to intrude on your spot or anything-" She starts rambling again, voice raspy and occasionally cracking. God, did her voice make you weak.
"No, no! It's uhm- It's okay!" You spoke hurriedly. As much as you hated other people, the girl in front of you was different.
The truth was that you had an infuriating crush on Robin Buckley. A crush you had tried so desperately to push down but would only come back even stronger. You first saw her in your Freshman English class and you had been infatuated with her ever since. You couldn't exactly pinpoint what made you fall for Robin as hard as you did, maybe it was the way she doodled on her hand when she was bored, or how she picked at the skin of her lips when she was anxious. Maybe it was how her black nail polish was always chipped or the way her ring-clad fingers grasped the straps of her bag at the end of a class. All you knew was that you were hopelessly in love with Robin Buckley.
You had never talked to the girl. You thought that if you did, you wouldn't ever be able to contain your adoration for her. So, you just admired from afar, hoping one day your fondness for the freckled girl just disappeared. You knew you'd never be able to tell her how you felt, she definitely was not into girls and you didn't feel like living the rest of your time in Hawkins getting your ass kicked just because you loved someone of the same gender. Plus, she seemed to be dating that Harrington kid that graduated last year. Of course, the jealousy was tearing you apart inside but if Robin was happy with that guy, you needed to move on.
But moving on was so hard. It was even harder when she was currently smiling at you with a toothy grin, making you weak in the knees. She returns to her previous spot, this time with one leg tucked under the other, which dangled over the edge. She pats the space next to her, encouraging you to sit beside her. You did so, hesitantly.
"You're Y/N, right? We're in the same Chem class?" Her head tilted slightly as she looked at you and you squirmed slightly under her gaze.
"Y-yeah... Robin, right?" You silently cursed yourself for how much of an idiot you were making yourself look like. Of course, you knew her name, you had been obsessed with the girl for three years now. You could barely believe she was speaking to you right now, let alone the fact she knew your name or even noticed you at all!
She nods, offering a small hum in response. "So, do you come up here every day?" That stupidly adorable smile plastered on her face made it so hard to hold back the urge to kiss her.
"Oh, yeah. Great place to smoke as well, no prying eyes or anything." You mumble, grabbing the pack of cigarettes from your pocket and fishing one out from the box. You fumble with your lighter, bringing the cigarette to your lips and igniting the end. The smoke spills from your lips as you breathe out with a sigh.
"Can I try?" Her voice seemed hesitant, almost like she was second-guessing herself.
"Sure, if you really want to." Gently pushing the open pack towards her, watching her nimble fingers grab one. When you hand her your lighter, your fingers brush against each other. A touch that was so insignificant that you almost didn't notice it if it wasn't for the electricity that sparked from her fingertips. Your blush only darkens as you watch her bring the cigarette to her lips, mimicking the action you had done only a few seconds prior. She takes a deep breath, smoke filling her lungs.
Coughs and splutters spilt from her throat, a hand clutching her chest. You quickly grab a bottle of water from your bag, offering it to her. She swiftly grabs the bottle, chugging it and gasping for air when her lungs finally clear. You gently reach over, taking the cigarette from in between her fingers and extinguishing it.
"You okay, Buckley?" You look at her, genuine concern written across your face as your hand comfortingly rests on her shoulder. Once her coughing fit had ended, she offered you a weak nod.
"Shit, sorry." She laughs airily, a timid smile on her face. You just chuckle softly in response, bringing the cigarette to your lips and exhaling the sweet smoke once more before extinguishing yours as well. Your gaze meets hers. Both of you wordlessly stare into the other's eyes, the world disappearing around you. All that mattered to you at that moment was Robin.
"You have really pretty eyes."
A dark red blush coats your cheeks, mouth hanging open in shock at her words. Her hands clamped over her mouth, stopping herself from uttering any more words and hiding the blush creeping up her neck.
"I'm such an idiot! You probably think I'm so weird, I'm so sorry! I just think you're really cool and pretty and I notice you all the time and I've been too afraid to come up to you or anything but I saw you come up to the roof every day so I figured maybe I could meet you there but now I've just creeped you out! Shit, I'm so sorry. I should probably go, leave you alone." Her hands were flailing around nervously as she rambled, words fumbling out of her mouth so fast you almost can't comprehend what she's saying. Her eyes water with frustration as she hastily grabs her things, just as she had done earlier.
"Robin!" Your hands grab onto hers gently as she begins to stand, encouraging her to sit back down. She does so hesitantly, avoiding your gaze. You place her hands in your lap, rubbing circles on her palm with your thumb. Her hands are rigid as you try to soothe her.
"You think I'm pretty?" Your voice was soft and quiet like you didn't believe the words coming out of your mouth. She nods, still averting her eyes away from yours. You can't contain the smile that spreads across your face. You gingerly caress her cheek, wiping away stray tears with your thumb. She relaxes under your touch, head slowly turning to face you.
You're aware of how little of a gap there is between your faces. Her eyes watch your every move intently. You feel that familiar longing in your chest as your gaze flickers to her lips. Your body moves on its own, inching closer and closer until your lips press against hers.
Robin responds instantly, removing her hands from your lap to cup your face. Your eyes close, moving her lips against yours in harmony. Your hands come to rest on the sides of her neck, pulling her closer to you. Her lips are soft, just as you imagined, and taste of the cherry chapstick she always wore with a hint of the cigarettes from earlier. Your mind is muddled, only being able to think of how good it felt. The years of pining suddenly poured out, making your heart soar.
When you finally pulled away for air, her eyes were filled with unmistakable love. Her hands still cupped your cheeks, gently caressing the skin underneath.
" I really like you... no, I think I'm in love with you." She mumbled under her breath, almost as if she didn't want you to hear but you did. Those words made your heart slam against your chest, you couldn't believe this was real.
"I think I'm in love with you."
"Wait, really?!"
"I literally just kissed you."
"Oh..."
You laugh, pecking a sweet kiss onto her lips. You wish you could do that forever.
"What about Steve?"
"What about him?"
"Like half the school think you're dating."
Robin laughs, making you swoon. "God, no! Platonic soulmates with a capital P!"
You can't help but laugh with her, feeling slightly stupid about your previous dislike for the guy out of jealousy. Her eyes settle on you again, looking at you with such warmth and love. "Yeah, he's nothing compared to my girl."
"Your girl, Robbie?" You smirk, raising an eyebrow at her.
She hums, a blush reappearing on her face at the new nickname. She wraps her arms around you, making you sit on her lap as she buries her face into the crook of your neck.
"My girl."
We fell in love in October That's why I love fall Looking at the stars Admiring from afar
My girl, my girl, my girl You will be my girl
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sobbing, why does tumblr not let me change the letters IGNORE IT PLEASE
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southelroydrive · 2 years ago
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i got a lot of sins, but you're my favourite.
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pairings: Robin Buckley x F!Reader summary: Your relationship with Robin had always been off and on. No matter how many times you left, you always ended up back in her arms. This time, something's different. Inspired by 'Bad Idea' by Dove Cameron. (modern au because phones :] ) word count: 1.4k warnings: implied smut, heavy making out, toxic relationship (i think?)
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Robbie <3 is calling...
A smirk tugs at your lips as you stare at your phone screen. You knew this day would come eventually. At this point, it was just the circle of life.
You and Robin had a rocky relationship, to say the least. You used to be friends that just occasionally fucked each other, with no feelings attached. However, that did nothing to stop both of you from falling head over heels. That's when the arguments started. Neither of you had stated any official label for your relationship, scared of admitting your feelings. Yes, you were both stupid but the cycle of your relationship was addicting. You'd get together, get into an argument, tell the other how much you hated them, break up, miss each other, have makeup sex (arguably your favourite part), get back together and repeat. As tiring as it was, nobody else could fill the space in your heart that Robin had hand-carved for herself.
But as much as you missed her, you loved teasing her more. So, you let the phone ring and ring and ring until it stopped. The silence was almost deafening. In it, your thoughts run astray, wondering if maybe this would be the time that she'd give up. But, like clockwork, your phone screen lit up once more, telling you that she had left a voicemail.
"Listen, Y/N. I'm having second thoughts, you know, about us and I really wish I'd never let you go or told you all those things I did. I miss you so much. If you're not busy or anything uhm... I have to tell you something. Face to face preferably."
Her voice was frail and fragile but you could sense the neediness behind her tone. It was funny to you, really, how she thought she was inconspicuous and that you wouldn't be able to tell what she really wanted. But since she asked so nicely, you thought you might as well pay her a visit.
You knew you shouldn't do it. Every time this happened you'd look at yourself in the mirror. This time, you were wearing a simple black vest and shorts, one of Robin's old plaid shirts draped loosely around your frame. Eyeliner smudged from a long, tiring day at work and lips tinted red, you decided it was good enough. You grabbed your phone and car keys before leaving your home.
When you finally arrived at Robin's house, you felt the familiar sense of dread pool in your stomach. You chewed on the inside of your cheek as you knocked on the door. From inside, you could hear the thud of footsteps down the stairs before the door flung open.
Before you stood Robin, your Robin. Her eyes were wide, clearly not expecting to open the door to find you there so soon. She was wearing a plain black shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants. Her hair was messy and her cheeks were tinted red. No matter what, she always amazed you with her beauty even when she wasn't trying. You catch her gaze flicker between your cherry-red lips and her shirt that sat on your shoulders. God, she thought you looked almost sinfully beautiful.
"Still a flirt, Buckley?"
"Huh?" Her eyes met yours. You bit your lip, failing to contain your smile. Her face flushed a dark red, head falling to look at the ground. "I said that out loud, didn't I?"
A small laugh escapes your lips. You tilt her head to face you, your thumb resting on her chin and your pointer finger slid underneath it. "Well, I got a lot of sins, but you're my favourite."
Next thing you know, you're in her room with your back pressed against the door. One hand pressed against the wall beside your head, keeping you trapped whilst the other gripped your hair tightly, bringing your face closer to smash your lips against hers. The kiss was sloppy but neither of you cared. Neediness and desire radiated from both of you. Your hands wander to her waist, pulling her impossibly closer, deepening the kiss. She takes your bottom lip between her teeth, tugging on it before letting go with a soft pop. You don't have a chance to react before her lips are against yours once more, taking the chance to slip her tongue into your parted lips. You hum contentedly into the kiss, gripping her waist even tighter.
When she eventually breaks away, you're gasping for air. Her puffy lips are now smudged with your red lipstick, making you gape in awe at the sight of the woman before you. Her forehead rests gently against yours, looking down at you with lust-filled eyes.
"You know, my therapist told me to try and move on from you."
"Oh yeah?"
"Mhm." Her hands had now moved to rub circles on your hips, keeping you close to her. Her hot breath tickled your neck, making you shudder.
"Do you want to?"
She shakes her head, moving your hips so you were pressed against her chest. "We can talk about it in the morning." She whispers in your ear, voice sensual and longing.
Adrenaline fuels you as you shove her back until her legs hit the bed, pushing her down. Your legs straddle her waist as you sit yourself down on her lap. Immediately, her hands are on your exposed thighs, enjoying the feeling of the soft skin under her palms. Your hands run through her hair, softly grasping at the roots to expose her neck. She groans softly, grip tightening on your thighs as you trail kisses down her jaw to her neck, leaving lipstick stains in your path. You eventually reach her sweet spot, just above her collarbone. You suck on the spot gently, causing her to gasp sharply. One hand leaves her hair, drifting down her sides, playing with the hem of her shirt.
"Please..." A small whimper escapes from her throat. Your heart flutters, hearing her voice. Begging, pleading for you. But as irresistible as the girl was, especially when beneath you, you were here for a reason.
Your hands retracted from her, head moving from the crook of her neck to face her. You smile seeing how pretty she looked, face flushed and eyes screwed shut. "You had something to tell me, didn't you?"
Her eyes snapped open, biting her lip nervously. She shook her head vigorously. "No, no it's not important..." She mumbles, avoiding your gaze.
Your hands cup her cheeks, stopping her from looking anywhere but at you. "Seemed pretty important if you needed to say it face to face, hm?" You look at her through half-lidded eyes, gently moving a strand of her hair that had fallen behind her ear.
"I love you." She blurts out, hands moving from your thighs to clamp around her mouth after she spoke. Your hands froze, taking a bit too long to process what she had just confessed.
Yes, deep down you and Robin knew how hopelessly in love you were with each other but you'd never said it. Your thoughts raced, heart slamming against your chest.
Robin's panic is clear after your lack of response. Apologies start tumbling from her mouth, hands flailing like she wasn't sure what to do with them. You quickly regain your senses, grabbing her hands and pulling her into a kiss to shut her up.
She instantly relaxes into your touch, arms wrapping around your neck as you kissed. This kiss was different from all the others you had shared. This one was full of love and affection, speaking all the feelings you couldn't find the words to explain. It was slow and gentle, you felt like you could stay here forever with your lips on hers. Her hands slip from behind your neck to cup your face, lips parting from yours but still hovered a few millimetres apart.
"I love you." She repeats, breath shaky. She looked at you adoringly, pure love in her eyes making your heart swell with warmth.
"I love you too. God, I love you so much, Robbie." You laugh airily, feeling nothing but pure affection for the freckled girl. She smiles giddily, bringing your face to lean against her shoulder whilst hers is buried into your hair.
"I've waited so long for you to say that." She mumbled into your hair, inhaling the scent of your shampoo. "Does this make us... girlfriends?" She pauses before saying the last word, whispering it hesitantly.
"Yeah, you have me all to yourself now, Buckley." You tease, moving your head to face her once more.
A smirk tugs at her lips and suddenly you find yourself on your back with her towering over you.
"I'll be sure to make the most of it then, babe."
Safe to say, she definitely did and you did not talk in the morning about whatever her therapist had said. You loved each other and this time, you thought it could work out.
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southelroydrive · 2 years ago
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breathe with me.
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pairing: Robin Buckley x F!Reader summary: Robin helps her girlfriend when she has a sensory overload. word count: 1.8k warnings: self harm (hair pulling, lip chewing), sensory overload, reader talking bad about themselves, non-sexual undressing?? a/n: this is purely self-indulgent comfort, my first fic so any constructive criticisms are appreciated!
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Everything was just too much.
You knew you shouldn't have gone to one of these stupid parties. The pounding music, flashing lights and stench of beer was enough to send you spiralling. You asked yourself what the hell you were doing here if you knew this would happen, but you knew you wanted to do it for her.
Robin Buckley. You two had been dating for six months now. You met in the Summer of 1935 when your parents demanded you actually get a job. That's when you found yourself in a stupid sailor costume at Scoops Ahoy and where your hopeless pining for the girl began. After the chaos of the Upside Down, Vecna and evil Russians, Robin decided it was better late than never to confess her feelings. Since then, your relationship had been a dream come true. You had never loved anyone more than you loved Robin and you never thought you'd be loved the way she loved you.
Of course, being two lesbians in the 80s had its downsides. The only person who knew of your relationship was Robin's best friend, Steve Harrington. You obviously knew Steve from your time at Scoops. You'd call yourself friends, considering he and your girlfriend came as a package deal. Inevitably, you warmed up to the fluffy-haired boy. You often wished that you could openly express your love for Robin. You wanted to hold her hand down the street or greet her every morning with a kiss on the cheek, but in Hawkins, that dream was just that, a dream.
So, when your girlfriend looked at you with those pleading ocean-blue eyes, begging you to come with her to some jock from school's party, you couldn't refuse. You pushed away all the anxiety that gnawed at your stomach; you just wanted to make her happy and if that meant going to one of those goddamn parties, you would. You'd already followed her to hell and back (literally), this party was nothing you couldn't handle... right?
The first hour was great. You danced with Robin to one of your favourite songs, her hands lazily placed on your waist and yours slung around her neck as you swayed. At that moment, you felt like you were the only people in the room and after everything you had been through, it was all worth it for that moment in time.
Now, you were standing in one of the bathrooms in this stupidly big house. You clutched your hair with your hands tightly, pulling at the roots as your elbows rested against the cold edge of the sink. Sob after sob escaped you. The music was too loud, the sound of electricity crackling through the walls pierced through you and the low mumble of people talking downstairs made a frustrated cry spew from your lips. The jeans you wore sat uncomfortably on your body and you were unbearably hot. Your skin felt like it was on fire. The necklace hung around your neck was too constricting, choking you, and the rings that adorned your fingers rubbed uncomfortably against your hands.
The frustration bubbled aggressively inside you as you pulled at your hair. You sunk to your knees, holding them to your chest as you rocked back and forth in a desperate attempt to soothe yourself. You wanted it to stop, you needed it to stop. You could barely think, mind muddled and thoughts racing too fast for you to comprehend; you needed Robin. She had gone to speak to one of her friends from band, leaving you alone in the corner. That's when it all started to get too much and you fled to find some privacy.
Almost as if she knew you were thinking of her, a soft knock made you snap your head towards the door. Through your panic and frustration, a small sigh of relief left you when you heard her voice through the door.
"Y/N? Angel, are you in there?"
You feel your heart skip a beat, this time from her words instead of the panic clawing at your lungs. 'Angel'. It was a nickname that she refused to let go after you smacked away a demobat that came dangerously close to biting her. She insisted that you were her 'guardian angel sent from the heavens' to save her life and since then, she rarely refers to you by any other name.
As much as you wanted to, you couldn't respond to her. You didn't feel in control of your body and couldn't bring yourself to open the door. You bury your face into your knees, sobbing quietly.
You didn't even hear the door open, or her footsteps as she crouched down in front of your quivering form. It isn't until she gently places a hand on your shoulder that you lift your head abruptly, body freezing at her touch. She takes note of your reaction, dropping her hand from your shoulder with a quick apology muttered under her breath. Her face was full of concern, you could see her trying to hide her panic to not stress you out further.
"Okay, I'm gonna need you to breathe with me, angel." She looks at you pleadingly. Her voice cracked as she spoke, making your chest swell with guilt. You hesitantly nod, focusing your attention on her and her solely as best you could, vision obscured by your tears.
You copy her breathing. In and out. In and out. Slowly, you feel the panic begin to subside, shaking breaths becoming more and more stable. That is until you hear a burst of laughter from downstairs. The sound pierces through your skull, making you cry out in frustration once more. You cover your ears with your hands, fresh tears dripping down your cheeks.
"Hey, it's okay. You can do it, just focus on me." Her voice is calm and soothing and you can't help but listen to her. She holds eye contact with you, making gestures with her hands to help your breathing slow. Your hands still covered your ears tightly, knees pressed against your chest and rocking yourself back and forth as you breathe with your girlfriend.
You weren't sure how much time had passed when your hands finally fell from your ears. Your sobs had stopped, leaving only shallow breaths.
"I-I'm sorry..." You mumble, chewing on the skin of your bottom lip. You felt horrible. Robin wanted to spend one night with you, pretending you were normal teenagers and now you had ruined it. You feel your eyes prick with tears again, turning your head to face anywhere but the girl in front of you.
Her hand cupped your cheek, turning your head gently to look at her. Her eyes scanned your face, making sure that you were okay with her touching you. When she didn't find any discomfort, she smiled softly. In one swift motion, she enveloped you in her arms. Face pressed against her chest, breathing in the familiar scent of cherry that made you relax into her hold.
"You have nothing to apologise for, angel." She runs her hands through your hair gently, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You sniffled, wiping your face and nose with your hands in a feeble attempt to be more presentable. "Come on, let me take you home"
You left the party quickly. Robin didn't even stop to say goodbye to her friends from band, she was just focused on making sure you were somewhere safe. You had never been so grateful for the open air, a shiver running down your spine as the autumn wind nipped at your exposed skin. Luckily, your house was only a short walk away, yet your girlfriend still insisted on wrapping you in her jacket after noticing your slight shivers. With a hand placed snuggly on your waist, you walked in comfortable silence until you reached your front door.
After fumbling with your keys, you unlocked the door. Your parents were out of town for the week for a reason you didn't care for, meaning that Robin had taken the opportunity to sleep over for the last few nights and tonight would be no different. You step inside, sighing contentedly as the warmth of your home engulfs you in its embrace. She's not far behind you, shutting the door gently. Her hand slid from your waist to your hand, the comforting weight of her hand in yours causing a smile to grace your lips. She tugged at your hand, leading you up the stairs into your bedroom.
You slumped onto your bed with a huff. The exhaustion of your meltdown finally catches up to you. Your legs dangled off the bed and your arms stretched wide above you, making your t-shirt rise up and uncover your stomach. Your head tilted to watch your girlfriend as she tugged her converse off her feet. She offered you a small smile that made your cheeks twinge a light pink. Sometimes you couldn't believe how lucky you were to be with someone as gorgeous as Robin. She walked over to where your legs dangled off the bed, kneeling down to untie the laces on your shoes and slip them off your feet. You hummed as a 'thank you', making her smile grow.
Once your shoes were off, you hurriedly unbuttoned your jeans and slid them off your legs. You sighed heavily, eyes closing as the itching feeling that drowned your leg in unpleasant tingles disappeared. You heard a light chuckle from her and the sound of rustling through your drawers. With one eye cracked open, you gaze returns to Robin as she shuffles through your clothes. Eventually, she pulls out one of her t-shirts that you had 'accidentally' stolen a few weeks prior. She meets your gaze, eyebrow raising accusingly. You only smile sheepishly in return.
As she walks towards you with the item of clothing in hand, you sit up. Your admiring gaze turning into one of curiosity. Your questions are answered when she tugs at the hem of your shirt, silently asking for permission. Your arms instinctively raise, allowing her to pull the shirt off you. Her fingers graze your stomach, making your breath hitch. She gently pulls her shirt over your head. You hum in contentment. A soft peck is pressed to your lips before she pulls away, taking her own clothes off.
Soon, you were both cuddled into your bed, only in t-shirts and your underwear. The smooth skin of her legs tangled with yours and your hands clutched her shirt, breathing in the calming scent of her perfume. Her hands find their place in your hair, making your heart turn to putty as she massages your scalp.
"Are you okay now?" She asks, sincerity dripping from her raspy voice, the voice that always made you weak in the knees.
"Yeah.. thank you." Head buried into her chest, she's barely able to pick up on your words.
Your breathing begins to slow, the grip on her shirt loosening. One hand remained in your hair, the other rubbing circles on your back as you slowly drifted off to sleep. You were exhausted, the night's earlier events having drained every ounce of energy in your body.
Before your eyes finally shut, you feel her lips against the crown of your head. "Goodnight, angel. I love you."
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A/N: I really hope my description of a sensory overload is okay, I tried to base it off my own experiences so I hope it translated how I wanted to :]]
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