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I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

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Time to talk about

Fat Raccoons

Ok, so I got a lot of really great questions from @grison-in-space about raccoon obesity and diet, which is one of my favorite subjects and what a large portion of my research is about. Interestingly enough, most of the raccoon dietary studies take place in Canada. Home of...uh...Dashcon 2, I guess.

1. How much detail do we have on what urban vs rural and suburban raccoons eat?

A pretty good amount, actually. There sadly isn't a whole lot of research about raccoons out there when compared to other animals, but there is a good bit about how anthropogenic landscapes affect a raccoon's diet. We know that raccoons are true omnivores and are incredibly opportunistic, meaning they will eat whatever they have access to. With this in mind, the presence of humans has a major impact on a raccoons diet and the diet can look wildly different from community to community. For example, raccoons found in rural farming communities who tend to grow corn have a high presence of--you guessed it--corn in their diet. 2. Is there individual variation in diet preferences among raccoons? Oh yeah, for sure. It's all anecdotal, of course, because nobody is sitting down and making raccoons do taste tests and then trying to get those articles published. (I'd like to run the experiments, but I would have to get IRB approval for testing on animals and then I would have to write and fight to get something peer reviewed and published. Anyway, some of the raccoons I work with greatly prefer meat to fruits and vice versa. Alabama prefers dried mealworms to grapes while Moonshine is the reverse. All of the raccoons currently living with me like bananas, but Moonshine will smack them away unless they are baked and crispy. 3. How much do we know about what differentiates obese and non obese raccoons?

It is pretty visual at this point, we do a BCS/body condition score. If we can't see a definite waist in the summer, that is an issue. In the winter it is harder to tell, but a trained eye can still recognize a fat raccoon. Lab tests can be done too, however. Obese raccoons will show things like hyperglycemia and elevated leptin levels. 4. Do we know anything about relative stress levels?

Some. High levels of glycated serum proteins were found in raccoons consuming diets with a higher concentration of anthropogenically sourced food, which likely indicates chronic stress related to glucose metabolism. This issue is almost unfounded in raccoons with limited access to anthropogenic food sources. 5. What is a wild rural raccoon's diet usually like, and how do they use fat storage? Depends on the area. Like I said, raccoons are true omnivores and will eat whatever they can get their grubby little hands on. So in areas free of anthropogenic food sources, that would be whatever sorts of animals and edible plants they can get. In raccoons living along the coast, you will find them eating a higher concentration of crabs and clams. In more temperate areas, they'll be eating things like persimmons, birds, beauty berries, and rodents. In warmer, more tropical areas, lizards and mangos are a favorite! As far as fat storage, in colder climates, it allows them to torpor through most of the winter when food is limited. In warmer climates, you will find little to no weight gain. Do we site our sources on the hellsite? Idk. Anyway, here is the stuff in my raccoon diet folder, I am not sure which is which.

Food subsidies of raccoons (Procyon lotor) in anthropogenic landscapes

Relative Impacts of Habitat and Geography on Raccoon Diets

Surviving the concrete jungle: The eco-physiological consequences of consuming anthropogenic food waste on raccoons (Procyon lotor) (this has the answer to #4)

Stable isotopes point to anthropogenic subsidies in northern raccoons at the urban-wild interface

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(by shirokuma.coffee)

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its fucking dember.

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lelouc

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hahahahaha omfg

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where's that masterpost of quotes that have no right going as hard as they do. I'd like to submit "Protagonism is best left to teens and the insane"

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I am going to eat this entire candy cane.

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coworker: hey you should come look at the results of a ph test for a customer’s water

me: I’m king of busy rn

coworker: no really just come here

the ph test:

my honest reaction:

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I think they should invite the original creator of Dashcon (who is now a raccoon biologist) to Dashcon 2 (which just so happens to be in Toronto, the raccoon diabetes capital of the world)

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turbo granny

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ADHD Dyslexics of the World Unite!!!

SOLVEM THE PROBLER WITH 10% OFF FOR THE WEEKEND ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

SHOP NOW

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OFFICIALLY OPENING ARCANE ART SEASON 2 ♥

PRINTS available in the shop.

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a graph based on my observations