soullessbutsenile

[soullessbutsenile]

i need “Happier than a necromancer in a natural history museum” to become a known phrase immediately

[soullessbutsenile]

when i was a homeless 20-year-old i was rejected from multiple housing opportunities because i had 5k in medical debt from going to the ER after getting roofied and sexually assaulted (i was unconscious so calling 911 was not my decision) and UHC denied my insurance claim. so yeah, i'm actually deriving an enormous amount of pleasure from watching health insurance CEOs snivel and hide like the heartless cowards they are. may those who profit from our suffering live in fear of those they seek to deny.

[soullessbutsenile]

is this a thing?

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mcr’s run ins with the law:

mikey: got visited by the feds at 15 for selling bootlegged disney movies in order to buy concert tickets

ray: got arrested for shoplifting batteries

frank: on the fbi watchlist for writing a song about killing the president

gerard: suspiciously clean in the eyes of the law

[soullessbutsenile]

my cat Meatball’s hanukkah sweater started kinda coming off, so my girlfriend went to fix it, and as she did so she said to him, in her most tender and maternal voice, “aww, is your shirt coming off? whore”

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This still blows my mind

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The chick's bathroom at my location always has a bunch of fake flowers and seasonal soaps and posters n shit in it and I just asked the custodian kid if the men's did too and he said "Nah just the urinals, the women's room gets all the nice stuff" and he sounded so sincerely wistful so in conclusion I know what I'm gonna do this Christmas

[soullessbutsenile]

special defense

does this count as anything ???is this art

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the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap

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I'm god's strongest soldier but I've been dodging the draft like crazy

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rb for reach. get this out of my normal follower circle i wanna see smth

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qualeasha wood, "bed rot," 2024, woven jacquard, glass seed beads, and machine embroidery

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i know she ate a leek

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"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back