sosig - Tumblr blog

[sosig]

we all have that friend that reminds us of a wretched and despotic boy-king

[sosig]

[sosig]

i felt your seed energy drop. You jerked off in the bathroom didn't you

[sosig]

making people up to be condescending to

The hater does not need to make up guys. The learned hater can dunk on newborn doves, and condescend to the wind itself.

[sosig]

[sosig]

the flavor description is like a really dumb guy getting excited when you ask him whats in his favorite ice cream

[sosig]

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I want to be felt up! My final message goodbye

[sosig]

Girl, you made me giggle. How can I ever repay you?

[sosig]

girl: ahh i've just been dealing with a lot y'know? it's like the world wants me dead haha

me (completely stonefaced): i will be your shield

her: what?

[sosig]

[sosig]

hung out with my young cousin today and she showed me "soul bug school" which is the gap between her toy chest and the wall where she secretly puts every dead bug she finds in the house

[sosig]

I have three beverages advising me at all times

[sosig]

if you ever argue with me just know that whenever you open your mouth to talk Im sticking my long scary finger in it

[sosig]

(at the divorce hearing) do you like me though. are we cool

[sosig]

accidentally squirts ketchup water onto my freshly made hotdog and immediately runs to my basement where I blow dust and cobwebs off an old telegraph machine and start sending a morse code SOS signal to whoever can hear me