sorryyuti

[sorryyuti]

Transcript: Crystal Recovery (2nd Attempt)

“I am v-very proud of all of you! I h-had to admit I had my concerns but you pulled through wonderfully! I j-just got the report back that you succeeded on the mission! The crystals have all been safely recovered!” “Ah. Yah. We a-ah. We sure did.” “Yes. We did. Absolutely! With flying colors!” “... Y-you s-seem a little down? I-is something wrong?” “Well... ah...” “Ya see, Commander, w-we went in like you said...” “All three of us...” “A-and Nanasomi was wit us for real dis time...” “Excellent! I k-knew if you worked as a team you c...” “I’m not sure I ken call dat ‘teamwork’ ma’am.” “W-what do you mean?” “Well, ma’am, we intend’d to sneak in as we were ordered but...” “... b-but?” “... Well, Nanasomi he...” “I shot them, Miss Yuti!” “O-oh, you had to fight? I’m s-sorry, I know it was... “Nah, nah, Commander, yer misunderstandin’. He shot ‘em. All.” “... w-what?” “I ain’t never seen a bow used like that, ma’am. Was like the boy was firin’ three shots e’ry time he drew up his string.” “I shot them all, just like you said to do in training!” “... s-so you’re s-saying...” “Well, ma’am, we succeeded! Gloriously! B-because... all of the opposition was dead.” “... I see. W-what did you do while Nanasomi was... um... winning?” “Well, seeing that Nana had it well in hand, I decided the best thing to do would be to remain at a saf-” “She cow’rd behind me the entire time and t’be honest Commander I don’t blame ‘er. I wish I coulda been cowerin’ behind somethin’ myself.” “I was not COWERING. You are simply larger and more heavily armored. It was *common sense.*” “And all tha’ whimperin’ and ‘by the twelve what sort of beast’ and “the hells thems-” “That’s enough of that!” “I did good, didn’t I Miss Yuti?” “A-ah... w-well... y-yes, I suppose you did, Nana...” “Hooray! I did go~od! Mimi is going to be so proud! I’m going to get a cake! Dismissed!” *there is the quiet sound of shuffling and a door closing* “... I t-think I’m the one who is supposed to say when we’re dismissed.” “Speakin’ for meself and Cecily here, I think we’re fine wit’ not arguin’ wit’ dat boy.” IN SMALL LETTER BENEATH THE TRANSCRIPT: “Priority Mission: Crystal Recovery: Success!” In recognition for her services to the Maelstorm, Yuti Kyis has been granted the honorary title of First Storm Lieutenant. 

[sorryyuti]

Transcript: Crystal Recovery

 “... So.” *Uncomfortable minute of silence* “So... t-the mission didn’t go well, I understand?” “No ma’am.” “Naw.” “C-can you explain what happened?” “Well, we were gettin’ dem crystals ma’am...” “Mhmm.” “A-and it was goin’ jes great. We got in past them beastmen fellas and I had it-” “WE. WE had it...” “Yah yah, WE had it all loaded up right n’ proper when...” “... when?” “W-well... I was pushin’ it along... and Cecily, y’gotta understand she jes gets under me skin with them whisperin’” “Oh, I do nothing of the sort!” *An almost inaudible voice can be hearing saying “Not my fault you’re such a baby.”* “See! She does dat stuff all da-” “R-Right. We’ll discuss that later. So...” “So... w-well, she was sayin’ I was goin’ too slow... an’ she said I culdn’t push dat cart faster den she could walk... so... I challeng’d ‘er ta a race.” “A *race?* I would never agree to anything so uncouth! I just merely agreed that I COULD outwalk him.” “Whaa! Ye said that I got lead in mah shoes an-” “YES. Enough. T-thank you. Please go on.” “S-so we were racin’...” “WALKING.” “... walkin’ and... w-well, dere was  a steep hill. And I.. erm.. t-tripped. And da cart sorta... rolled down da hill.” *another uncomfortable moment of silence* “.. e-err, i-into the ocean.” *another uncomfortable moment of silence* “... we got ‘em outta dem Kobold hands though, rite?” “.. a-and into the hands of a group of Sahagin, y-yes. A-another group is already busy trying to correct that mistake.” *Two voices in unison* “Sorry, Commander Yuti.” “... a-and Nana, o-once again you were missing. C-can you explain? A-and who is this?” “Well, you said to find Crystals! So I went and got my friend Crystal! Say hi, Crystal!” “Hiiiiiiiiiii!” A small note at the bottom of the transcript: MISSION FAILED: CRYSTAL RECOVERY

[sorryyuti]

Transcript: All Saint’s Wake

“... I u-understand that it’s All Saint’s Wake and I’m r-really very excited too! B-but I don’t think it’s a-appropriate to wear your costumes o-on a mission.” “Whaa? Why ‘d’hells not, Commander?” “Yeah, that isn’t fair!” “... W-well, I... I mean i-it isn’t about fair. Y-you’re... w-well, Hasta you’re a bit... I mean you’re wearing...” “I t’ink dey call it a speedo, ma’am.” “... Y-yes, I can see that. W-what are you even supposed to be?” “Drop dead sexy, ma’am.” “... I’m n-not sure that’s a costume, Hasta...” *A small whispered voice says something like “It is when you’re an ugly brute the other days of the year.”* “E’scuse me?!” “I said-” “E-enough! Hasta, w-we really need you wearing armor. It p-puts too much strain on the healers if you’re.. um.. n-not. S-speaking of which, Cecily, t-that outfit is..” “Isn’t it gorgeous?” “I-it’s... w-well, it’s very... nice? You’re a...” “A glorious rare white chocobo, ma’am.” “...y-yes, a chocobo. A-and the head is really very realistic. R-rather unnervingly so. H-how did you make the mo...  n-no, no, I don’t want to know. B-but I’m w-worried that you can’t... s-see well...” “Why would you say that?” “Y-you’ve been talking to o-one of the All Saint’s D-Decorations this entire meeting. I’m o-over here.” “...oh.” “A-at least Nanasomi c-came prepared. I r-really appreciate it Nana, y-you’re really improving!” “Oh, I’m not Nanasomi.” “... w-what?” “I’m Mimisomi. I’m Nana’s brother! I went as him for All Saint’s and he went as me!” “... A-are you an archer too?” “No ma’am! I’m a baker!”  In tiny writing on the bottom of the transcript: MISSION POSTPONED DUE TO HOLIDAY.

[sorryyuti]

Transcript: Resolved Issues

“Miss Cecily, y-you really are a remarkably gifted healer...” “Thank you, Commander Yuti! I certainly am!” “... Y-yes! Confidence is very good. I’m just... c-concerned about that mission we went on together.” “Yes?” “W-well, I noticed you weren’t... healing yourself.” “No, Commander Yuti.” “... W-why not?” “Because I was *standing* in the *bad* and I deserved to suffer for that.” “... N-nobody deserves to suffer f-for mistakes, Miss Cecily. D-dodging attacks can be difficult.. but...” “Difficult nothing. You don’t stand in the bad.” “... W-well, no, you don’t, but really it’s okay to make mistakes, h-honest.” “... Well, if YOU say so Commander Yuti, I suppose it’s okay. I’ll heal myself next time.” “Good! W-wonderful! I’m g-glad to hear it!” *A quite mumbling voice can be heard saying something like “no promises about that idiot Hasta though...”* “W-what was that?” “I said I promise to do my best, ma’am!”  Written at the bottom in small text: RESOLVED ISSUE: An issue wherein conjurer squadron members would not cast Cure II or Esuna on themselves during battle.

[sorryyuti]

Transcript: Debriefing

The following is a written transcript of the debriefing of the Maelstorm Squadron #843 by temporary acting commander Yuti Kyis   “Hasta, I was h-hoping you could e-explain to me a l-little about what happened here. I u-understand that y-you’re new at the job s-so I don’t want to s-sound like I’m being overly critical but...” “Yes, Commander Yuti? What is it?” “W-well, you were... s-supposed to be escorting this visitor a-around Limsa a-and the outskirts.” “An’ I did! Quite well, if I do say so mahself!” “W-well, yes, you certainly did. I-it’s just that you took him m-mostly to bars...” “Haw! It’s Limsa Commander! Ya can’t appreciate th' city unless ya’ve tasted th’ ale!” “Y-yes, I understand that of course but... w-well...” “Oh. Is this about th' stabbing?” “Yes! I m-mean, y-yes, it’s about the stabbing.” “Well, Commander, don’t you fret none about that. A visit to Limsa ain’t complete if you don’t get stabbed once or twice. It’s a bit o’ the... whatchacall it... local flavor?” “... It was your job to protect him.” “How was I t’know he couldn’t take a stab or two?! Besides if that bloody tart had done her job...” “Y-yes, Miss Cecily, I’m a-afraid I d-don’t understand. T-thankfully the wound wasn’t t-that bad but it r-really did need a healer’s attention. I’m t-told you wanted him to.. e-erm... w-walk it off?” “Why yes, Commander! Walking is really very good for your health!” *inaudible whisper that sounds vaguely like ‘not my fault if the idiot can’t avoid a knife”* “W-what was that, Cecily?” “Nothing, ma’am! I’m sorry! I’ll do better next time!” “A-and Nanasomi... w-well, according to this you weren’t there at all...” “Yes, Commander! Sorry!” “W-where were you?” “Costa Del Sol!” “... W-why were you at Costa Del Sol?” “I just bought a new swimsuit, ma’am!” “... C-couldn’t it have waited?” “... Oh. Oh! It could have waited! Oh dear! Hahaha, whoops! I’ll do better next time, ma’am!” “... W-well, I see. U-unfortunately the high command w-wasn’t very happy with the outcome of the mission. T-the VIP i-is going to need several weeks to r-recover. I k-know you all tried your best but... m-maybe we can do a bit better next time?” *three voices in unison* “Yes, Commander Yuti!” Written below in small letters: OFFICER ESCORT: MISSION FAILED.

[sorryyuti]

Taken from the notes of Yuti Kyis

The Maelstorm have been remarkably low on healers in recent times. It’s not particularly surprising with the wake of the war. So desperate are they that they actually asked if I would be willing to take on some support and training work for some of their fresh recruits! This is a great honor and I couldn’t help but be glad to accept. Though truth be told so far it hasn’t been a very large success. Most of the recruits are... very green.  So far three recruits have proven the most *several words are scribbled out before Yuti settles on...* promising. 

Hastaloeya is a Roegadyn Maurader from the Red Rooster Stead. He’s a real behemoth of a fellow and looks every inch the warrior. He’s also brave, steadfast and sure! The only problem is that he’s a bit... too steadfast and sure? He charges forward into battle with nary a care in the world. Including into traps, fire pits, and in one bizarre situation right off a pier and into the ocean. It turns out heavy armor is not very good for buoyancy! Mercifully we were able to drag him up before anything awful happened. Nanasomi is an young Lalafell Archer who seems to have a great gift for the bow! When I tried instructing him on what to do he was remarkably skilled. The only problem is that every other time he seems to stop paying attention. His brain wanders off and he does the most bizarre things. I caught him one day just... staring at a Chocobo. For nearly a half-bell. When I asked why he said he wanted to. He seemed happy I suppose... The last is a Hyur healer named Cecily. She said she joined because she heard about my healing in Gyr Abania and wanted to learn from me! I was really honored and she does seem to have a talent for healing! It’s just... she’s... well a bit of a daredevil. She seems to take an... uncomfortable delight in waiting as long as she can to use protective or healing magic. Several times I swear I heard her mutter under her breath ‘that’s what you get’ but surely not...  I hope that the three of them, with some support from other Malestorm members, will prove to be an able group of soldiers!