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[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

F*CK yeahhhhhhhhhhh!!! Three weeks down, bring it on 4th week!

[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

11-24-13

Sunday before heading out to brunch with my brother and his wife at Postinos, I stopped by my parents and dropped off these hair wraps for my mom and my wii so she can connect to Netflix. She had a radiation appointment so I left the hair wraps on her bed for when she got home. She hasn't lost any hair yet, but i got these a few weeks ago just in case she did so she wouldn't be stressed out. Who needs F*cking hair anyways? I am always drawn to beautiful women with no hair. My mom is going to be one of those gorgeous ladies :)

[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

Iphone family ... haha

11-23-13

Today my dad took my mom, my brother, and myself to get new phones. We all decided on the iphone and had a little adventure while we were there. It was a cold and rainy day so we were all freezing and had to wait for about two hours to get all of our information transferred over so my dad went to chik fil a and my mom took me to americas taco shop. I sat inside with my mom and we enjoyed the view outside and laughed about how my dad was probably munching down on his french fries two stores over.

Now we are all proud Iphone owners so we can Facetime with each other throughout my moms treatment or if she's not up for visitors but we want to say hello.

Isn't my mom just the cutest thing! <3

[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

Thank you so much for all of your prayers, support, homemade chicken soup, cards, phone calls, texts, goodies, and words of love and hope

[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

my beautiful mom at my brothers wedding in Del Mar this summer

[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

11-19-13

F*ck yeah! 2 weeks down. Bring on the 3rd! I love those checkmarks..

[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

I went to Tinas Treasures Cancer Care Store at the Virginia Piper Cancer Center off of the 101 and Shea Rd in Scottsdale to buy my mom some fun gifts.

Magazines, cookbooks for cancer, a book on natural remedies to fight cancer alongside conventional chemo, Theraneem Lip Balm, Alba Lotion, Biotene Mouth wash ,Lavender oil, Scarves, Lindi Skin Cooler Pad, Organic disinfectant, and more..

[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

What the doctors don't tell you about how to get through Chemo

The doctors are very compassionate and working towards healing your cancer in every way that they can. They may help you with these little things that could help the process, your stress, and your comfort level...but if they don't you have to be your own advocate and ask questions.

1.)  Get your teeth cleaned before starting treatment: If you have the time and it's possible... you will get mouth sores that are painful and could be an entry for an infection. Your immune system will be very low so you want to make sure to eliminate any potential risks.

2.) Get your wigs now: It will be easiest for you to go and buy a wig now before or first starting your treatment so that the wig store can match your natural hair color. You also will not be as emotional and stressed if you wait until you are losing your hair to get your wig. You don't know how the chemo will affect you or if you will feel energized enough to go buy a wig once you have already started.

3.) Take care of your skin:  Your skin will begin to dry out so its important to buy a nice lotion to keep your skin hydrated. Your lips will also get chapped. I found it's best to buy a more expensive lotion that helps tremendously.  Shikai Borage Therapy Advanced Therapy Lotion, Alba Maximum strength lotion, and Organix TheraNeem Lip Balm from Sprouts or Whole foods. (Each body responds differently, just try and go to a natural health food store and buy products with No:  Artificial Colors, Parabens, Phthalates, Sodium Lauryl Sulfate or Sodium Myreth Sulfate

4.)  Get your comfo chemo clothes : My mom has a chemo port surgically inserted into her and she carries her chemo pack bag with her 24/7. We went out and bought sweaters and those cool hippie looking flowy sweaters because she was self conscious about her bag. They worked wonderfully. Some people have to go in to a facility to get their chemo pumped through their arm vein so I have heard its helpful for them to buy yoga pants, sweats, sweaters, and comfy clothes to sit around in.

5.) Water, water, and more water: Your body and your liver will need enough water to filter the excess toxins in your body. Drink AT LEAST 64 ounces of water each day. This will help with constipation, dry skin, and toxin removal. You will not always want to drink water and your tastebuds may change to make things taste metallic so I heard about this water brand specifically for chemo patients called Water Delight.

6.) Take your medicine, don't put it off: Quoted from But Doctor I hate Pink: "I learned after surgery that it is a lot harder to control pain or nausea once it starts than to prevent it in the first place. So, no waiting on the meds. No being brave. No saying, "Oh, it's only a little queasiness, I can take it." No, don't take it. Be a wimp and slam the drugs. You get no points for bringing yourself to the point of a three hour puke. You probably won't need them after five or six days anyway - if that long."

7.)  Mouthwash: Chemo kills off the fast growing cells in your mouth. Causing you to get mouth sores. I hear that Biotene Mouthwash and Biotene toothpaste are the best. It's better to splurge than to suffer. Buy the expensive mouthwash and prevent the painful mouthsores.

Quoted from Karries Chemo Tips -"Dry mouth and mouth sores are a common problem with chemo patients. I watched a video at MD Anderson for my pre-chemo instruction. A patient on the video was this rough and tough man and he said "Brush your teeth 4 times a day and you will never get a mouth sore" So, I brushed my teeth 3-4 times a day and he was right… I never got a mouth sore. Regular toothpaste and mouthwashes are too harsh. My dentist recommended Biotene products. I loved them so much, I continue to use them today. I used the mouthwash several times a day to keep my mouth moist. Dilute the mouthwash with a little water if the peppermint taste is too strong."

The most important thing is to listen to your body during this time. Do things to lower stress level and keep you as comfortable as possible. The journey is hard enough, pamper yourself, take care of your needs. Rest when you want. Relax, and focus on your positive healing.

[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

Don't ever f*cking look online to research

11-05-13

I woke up on November 5th ready to jump online and figure out what I could do to make this better for my mom. I started with "colon cancer" and it brought me to website with statistics, testing, and what to expect. I didn't ask for it but every single website had "survival stats" teasing me. I didn't want to look. I turned away every time. But it's like a person holding a sign in front of your face and you know you don't want to look but for the sake of it getting out of your head you can't help but look. So i made my first mistake... i clicked on it. The tears started flowing simultaneously. I knew it was a bad decision.

I continued to look around and only found depressing worst case scenarios and scary expectations. I hated it. It made me feel worse. I don't need to know about how hard it is. We will find that out along the way. I don't need to know how much hair she will lose, or how dry her skin will be, or how nauseous she is. I want to know the ways to make things better through this process. Where are the websites that lift you up despite the unknown?

So I searched and searched and found a few amazing blogs that turned their personal journeys into helpful places for others. It's such a confusing time and you have nowhere to turn. These blogs have meant the world to me. I will share in another post what websites I have found helpful.

[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

A text from me to my mom on the night I left their house because she starts treatment tomorrow

[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

We have made a conscious decision to fight this hard with positivity and humor

As I was bawling the day I found out at my parents house my mom went to the bathroom and i walked up to my dad and as he wrapped his arms around me he told me,

"This is going to be hard year ahead of us but we have to stay positive for mom, (with tears in his eyes he looked at me and continued)... we have to be her strength."

I was so emotional and consumed by the fear of death and losing her that in that moment i realized that i cant think like that. I can't allow my mind to go there. She is here, now. She is okay. She isn't gone and this isn't a death sentence.

This is our chance to live again. To live with no regrets and appreciate every single moment. I don't fucking care how cliche that sounds. it is plain and simple the truth of this. Cancer fucking sucks. But you know what, we can't change it. We can't change a thing. So we might as well appreciate the fact that God is giving us a warning and a chance to love in a way i never thought possible. There is no way to express the feeling of loving someone who could potentially be taken from you. I'm not saying that like I am bold and strong and fearless. I am saying that like I am weak, and scared, and angry. There will be many bad days. There will be days of spending all day and night in bed crying. Days where I just want to scream. Days where I can't even muster the strength to stand up to take a shower. There will be these days, but the powerful emotion of love and gratitude on the good days will be overwhelmingly amazing and fulfilling.

So here goes our fight. To my mom, to her strength, to her positivity, to her health.

[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

[sorrymombutfuckcancer]

The treatment plan to get rid of this f*cking cancer

To help bridge the gap between my emotional posts and medically speaking what is happening, I will give you a summary of her cancer and what the treatment plan looks like for the next year or so.

Type of Cancer: Colorectal.

Stage: unknown

Date radiation treatment starts: 11-04-13

Date Chemo treatment starts: 11-05-13

First 6 weeks: Goal of this six weeks is to shrink the tumor so that they can go in and take it out. Chemo port and bag 24/7 for six weeks and external radiation 5 days a week.

After the 6 weeks: She will have a few weeks to rest and recover. She will then have surgery to remove the tumor. After surgery she will rest and recover

Last step: She will begin chemo again for 4 months to get rid of any outstanding cancer cells to make sure they don't come back.