sooyoung-ph-blog

[sooyoung-ph-blog]

age: 28 years old gender: nonbinary, they/them hometown: Austin, Texas occupation: blogger/youtube star allegiance: neutral  

( trigger warnings: anxiety, misgendering, racism, sexual harassment, disordered eating )

blogging started, for them, as a form of therapy; they were an anxious child with a tendency towards catastrophic thoughts and a compulsive need to check everything four times, and their therapist suggested keeping a journal with all their anxious thoughts. in retrospect, the internet – permanent, written in digital ink – may not have been the wisest place for their every waking worry, but they liked it, and soon anxious blogging turned into youtube videos about their routines, their makeup tips, their trips to the mall, anything to keep their mind occupied and their anxiety at bay. and they liked it even more when suddenly their videos were racking up views, when they had fans commenting and requesting more videos, when their therapeutic hobby had begun to make them popular at school in a way they never expected to be. isn’t she so sweet? some of the comments said, and Eisa flinched at the thought, at the what a cute girl, at the hey baby im not usually into asian chicks but ur hot, wanna fuck? it exacerbated their anxiety, comments circling in their head over and over at night until they couldn’t sleep, until they wanted to smash their computer and hide under their blankets forever. but for every one of those, there was a you inspire me… and then, there was youtube offering to monetize their videos, the possibility of more money than Eisa ever thought they’d make in their life. and they thought: this is an image. I can work with this.

they moved to LA, first; that was where the industry was. a short stint as a model seemed like a good idea, but if left them underweight from stress and counting calories and more anxious than ever between the unhealthy focus on every physical flaw and the words female model, the wrong pronouns, the orientalism of it all. their videos increased in popularity, in quality, and in profit, but their personality hardened. behind the sweet face they put on for the camera, the person their fans had grown accustomed to, they were entirely business, demanding what they wanted and taking anything they needed to survive the barrage of cruelty, the death threats, and the constant fucking panic attacks. on video they seemed sweet as pie, in public they seemed strong as steel, and in private… in private, they were in pieces. they left LA behind and gave New York a shot, and found it much more conducive to their lifestyle: in New York, people left you alone. in New York, they could instagram the sights and snapchat tours of their gorgeous apartment and vlog from Central Park. in New York, they could focus on their work, could focus on what they needed to do to keep everything they’d earned and more.

the character they played in their videos liked the gods. half their followers assumed they were Japanese anyway so it couldn’t hurt to pretend to be another Amaterasu fangirl when the occasion arose. but in reality, Eisa was watching them from afar, waiting for them to make a move, biding their time, and wondering: how can I best use this to my advantage? ready to play both sides of the game, they watched, and waited for the right time to make their move.

Stephanie Seeley – past a certain level of wealth, everyone knows one another, and Eisa and Stephanie are no exception. Stephanie was essentially Eisa’s welcoming committee into the lives of the New York nouveau-riche when they moved from LA, and the two have become pseudo-friends during Eisa’s time in New York.

Naomi Isley – Naomi has written about Eisa on her blog any number of times in the past several years, and Eisa has mixed feelings about her. on one hand, she’s by far the most respectful reporter Eisa’s ever encountered, always using the right pronouns and deleting cruel comments from her articles, but on the other hand, she seems determined to uncover something about Eisa that Eisa isn’t even sure exists. 

Miles Asher – Miles was Eisa’s first friend in school. before Eisa had anyone else, they had Miles; through elementary school and into junior high he was at their side, over their house every weekend to hang out. but when Eisa started making more popular friends, they knew Miles wasn’t the best person for their image – he was a nerd, all things considered. and so they stopped responding to his texts, and the friendship fizzled out

Rigel Asher – in one of those weird happenstances, Eisa wasn’t friends with Miles’ little cousin until much later in life. they ran into him when they moved to New York, but didn’t recognize him despite all the years they’d gone to school together. he’d changed significantly from the shy kid nipping at Miles’ ankles they’d known when they were young, and definitely for the better.

Eisa Seung is played by Arden Cho and they are open.

[sooyoung-ph-blog]

THE GODS ARE AMONG US.

                                                            and let me tell you, folks, they are beautiful.

here is what we know: every hundred years, the gods come back.

in some form or another, they take possession of twelve humans and form the Pantheon, a collective that burns bright as a firework for two years, and then disappears. so it has been, since the beginning of time. and so it will be, every hundred years until the world crumbles and burns in the wreckage of humanity.

                                    AND TODAY, THEY HAVE ARRIVED.

HERETICS is a new original roleplay inspired by The Wicked + the Divine. reblog this post to enter our contest: for every 50 notes this post receives, we will randomly select five people to get a sneak peek at the story to come –     plot. characters. ask. apply.

[sooyoung-ph-blog]

Ooc

So, with the rp closed, I'll be dropping Sooyoung and perhaps keeping Eunji and Taeyeon. Honeslty, I'm not sure. Regardless, when irl gets normal for me again, I'll probably be more active. I'll keep this account open and if you'd ever like to chat, shoot me an IM here or on aim.

[sooyoung-ph-blog]

❤ = kissing them (as Eunhye) -- .❂ = wiping blood off their face (as himself)

Eunhye

Sooyoung remained impassive as the woman kissed her. If it had been anyone else, if she had a stake in this save for a relationship, she would have kissed her back. Instead, she just stood there, slightly bent so that the shorter woman could reach her. It wasn’t that Eunhye wasn’t attractive, she was, it was simply the fact that Sooyoung had never been physically attracted to another person to actually enjoy a kiss. 

"Do you kiss all of your regulars like that? Or are you just happy to see me?” she asked, once Eunhye had pulled away. “What would your bartender say?”

Haha

The washcloth was warm, the water soaking up the blood that was splattered across her cheek and her arms. While she wanted to push him away, Sooyoung was content to allow Donghoon to take care of her, just this once. She hadn’t expected the fight in the Crimson Ring to splash into the seats, though her client had enjoyed it. She hated the place, the smell, and the fact the people there seemed to be content just fighting each other instead becoming more. 

She closed her eyes, letting her head rest on the couch they shared and murmured a small word of thanks. Later, she’d deny speaking it but, for now, she’d enjoy the pampering.

[sooyoung-ph-blog]

There wasn’t much for Sooyoung to do, save keep up the illusion he had chosen. Moving into a slightly more comfortable position, she turned her attention to her tablet, to better keep an eye on the goings on of her club even as she weaved a new reality for the man beside her.

Tightening her threads, she made the vision stronger, realer for the man. Time progressed this way, until the alarm on her phone went off. Pulling herself out of her chair, Sooyoung ended the illusion on the man. “Time’s up,” she told him, looking down on him from her stance. “I can walk you out, if you’d like.” One of her girls carried in his card, before nodding towards her boss. It had gone through, which, really, was all that mattered at this point. 

“Would you like to schedule another appointment with me?” she asked, hands clasped in front of her as her eyes stayed on his.

Story High

She was scary but she was definitely good at was ever it was she could do. Slowly the fire that was his constant companion from his ability went away as he lay there and he felt that he could breathe again. Her “lack” of spiritual essence was likely the only reason he could have even a little relief. His senses could not define her distinct aura, so his ability tended to behave it’s self a bit more readily in Sooyoung’s presence. His mind could seek her dreams, even in his alcohol induced limp state. Movement he knew was a entirely different thing altogether.

As she brought him to that place that was halfway between sleep and awake between dream and reality he saw Umma. She was still soft and perfect like fresh milk and pearls. Umma tucked him in for the night and she laughed so sweetly, ruffling his hair and calling him a “rascal” like she use to do all the time. Scary noona had taken him back to when times were still good–before Ravi hadn’t known what it truly meant to be poor. It was a time of innocence. When being poor was only the delight of a hot sink bath and his mother’s hand massaging him with lotions and singing gently to him of animals and rice cake all just for her lovely baby boy.

He had to have been five… no six once more.

[sooyoung-ph-blog]

♢ = reading them a story

“This is absolutely foolish. You know full well I can read on my own,” she murmured, though made no move to move off of the couch. Jaehyun’s head was warm in his lap and his hair was soft as she threaded her fingers through it. His voice was rough, imperfect and far too hypnotizing for Sooyoung to want to move away. If this was what contentment felt like, she would analyze it another day. Instead, she carded her fingers through his hair once more and closed her eyes.

[sooyoung-ph-blog]

☁ = being caught in the middle a storm with them .

Storms were so troublesome. They tended to ruin her favorite shoes and it always meant having to slow down her pace so that her associate could hold the umbrella above her easily. At least her client had cancelled for the night, as his wife’s plans had fallen through due to the weather. Still, it meant that she had to walk back to her car in the rain.

Perhaps she’d enjoy a glass of whiskey tonight. She had received a rather nice bottle from one of her clients and had yet to open it. Perhaps tonight would be a decent enough night for it. The weather definitely suggested it.

In the corner of her eye was a familiar form, one the grew closer the closer Sooyoung came to her car. A spark of recognition, a murmured, “Jinah, you idiot,” and a snap of her fingers was the only hint of acknowledgement she gave before a secondary umbrella was placed in her hands.

When the woman was close enough, Sooyoung opened the umbrella and held it out to cover her, “You shouldn’t be out on a night like this. It’s not safe.”

[sooyoung-ph-blog]

send one for my muse’s reaction to your muse ---

alternatively send ‘ + ‘ after the symbol for the roles to be reversed where possible !

✘ = hugging them . Δ = playing with their hair .  ❤ = kissing them .  ₪ =  asking them out for dinner . ☀ = giving them a gift of ___ ( asker’s choice ) . ♘ = stabbing them . ♕ = bowing down before them . ♒ = lying to them .   ✿ = buying them flowers . ☾ = being found shirtless . ♢ = reading them a story . ☂ = giving them their jumper to keep warm . ✎ = speaking in a different language . ✏ = teaching them a different language . ▄ = telling them a joke . ♬ = singing to them . ☹ = insulting a loved one . ஐ = slapping them . ✂ = threatening them . ❃ = dancing with them . ▤ = falling asleep on them . ☮ = waking them up after a nightmare .  ♣ = discovering them crying .  回 = patching a wound .  ✮ = stargazing . ▓ = caught stealing their belongings . ☽ = wandering alone at night . ♡ = complimenting them . ≡ = offering a place to stay overnight . ☢ = falling over . ✦ = being well-dressed . ❂ = wiping blood off their face . ◎ = taking care of them while ill . ☁ = being caught in the middle a storm with them . ⇕ = holding their hand . ↱ = being lost with them . ☠ = pushing them against a wall .

[sooyoung-ph-blog]

Tracker

Working on Waiting on

Sooyoung

Story High - Ravi Cadmium Red Hues - Marion Mind if I Sit Down? - Flonne Through the Looking Glass - Haha

Eunji

Last Supper - Amber Separation - Hayi .control - Jeongmin Let Me Give You Galaxies - Haha Invulnerability - Jongkook Mirror Mirror - Thunder Bricks and Mortar - Taek Stitches - Mino Fear Less - Haneul

Taeyeon

Dinner and Drinks - Haha Give me Something Terrible - Hayi Heartbeats (Present) - Sunny (flash)Back to the Beginning (Past) - Sunny The Rising Action - Nichkhun In the Eye of the Hurricane - Jin

[sooyoung-ph-blog]

HIGH CUT VOL. 172

[sooyoung-ph-blog]

She is the most complicated person I’ve ever met. She’ll be the most impossible person to ever forget.

Bruce Adler (via wordsnquotes)

[sooyoung-ph-blog]

Sooyoung didn’t miss the glance back, eyes settling on the stranger behind the thick overlay of her own illusions. Well that was interesting. She allowed her lips to curl into an amused smile, softening the sharpness that hardened her features. He was attractive enough, she assumed, though that attractiveness did nothing for her. Not for the first time, she wondered if it was strange that she had never felt more than a passing fancy for another person. A form of interest, yes, but never attraction, not true attraction. Her fingers tapped lightly on her glass, pushing the thoughts away for another day. Sooyoung wondered how the woman would react if she allowed the man into the scene. 

Surely not as strangely as seeing the couple. 

Ah, people reacting to things differently. She wasn’t here to understand Eunhye, simply to enjoy a night of similar powers. It reminded her of a time before her club had taken over most of her free time, when her role was easily spelled out in front of her and she had no one to protect besides herself. 

Things changed so quickly. Only a few years had passed and, here she was, watching  Eunhye change the flowers in front of her without so much as a by your leave. Her gaze went back to the couple, so at odds with the rest of the scene. The woman was far too elegant, too statuesque, too everything; to be seen with such a diminutive man. But it had always been like that. The pair had never looked quite right, had always had at least one person staring at them in confusion. It hadn’t mattered before. It seemed to matter now. Yet she couldn’t change them. 

“Someone like him, you could say,” Sooyoung replied, eyes still on the couple as they made their way to one of the benches, heads still bent together, heedless of their surroundings and the boisterous couples that Sooyoung had purposefully changed to suit the setting. 

"You remind me of him sometimes,” she murmured, finishing her glass. “He had powers similar to mine as well.”

Through the Looking Glass

Eunhye nodded and sat down for a little, frowning against the pressure in her head. It was quickly fading again and she looked up with a bright smile at that … was it a compliment? It sounded like one or it had least no malice behind it as some of Sooyoung’s remarks tended to have.

“Thank you,” she smiled brightly. “Cute things are more my style.”

She winked playfully, glancing automatically in the direction of the corner Jongkook usually sat reading or drinking tea. Of course, the world around them still changed in a late night garden scenery, she couldn’t see him, so she glanced back.

“Well. For some things.”

She leaned on her hand and idly let a few flowers grow bigger with an elegant flick of her wrist, smiling at Sooyoung. It’s a shame, wasn’t it, that Sooyoung could create such intimate, beautiful, peaceful scenery and yet all people asked of her was something so crude, so basic. No imagination. Maybe that was the real shame, that you could tell people they could have anything they wanted, and they couldn’t think beyond money, sex and power.

Sooyoung didn’t answer, her eyes still on the man and the woman with their height difference. It was a little unique, to put something like that in an illusion – wasn’t it aesthetically more pleasing  to have the guy be taller? What kind of girl would date such a short guy?

But Sooyoung’s eyes spoke of something… something shielded and clouded, but something personal.

“Do you know him?” she asked gently, ready to back off if it was too much. She didn’t run a successful restaurant by being too noisy. “Someone like him, maybe?”

[sooyoung-ph-blog]

It is a strange thing to nourish what could kill you in the hopes it does not kill you.

Clementine von Radics, Mouthful of Forevers

[sooyoung-ph-blog]

It was always entertaining, watching someone else decide how they would react to her power. Reality warping had never been easy, especially not with the degree of skill she used. The air felt warm, if a bit humid, in the summer weather. It wasn’t her favorite weather, her shirt seemed to stick to her back faster than she liked and a ghost of a frown crossed Sooyoung’s face before she lowered the humidity. 

But it was Eunhye’s shock that made Sooyoung follow her gaze. A couple, with an unusual height difference, seemed to be the woman’s focus. They weren’t doing anything interesting and they didn’t seem to stand out. Her eyes narrowed as she recognized the familiar movement, the face of adoration. When had she placed him in her reality? 

It had been so long ago. Years had passed without her thinking of him. And yet, there he was, exactly as she had remembered him. Nostalgia filled her as well as distaste. She had been young and weak. It had made sense for them to stay together to learn their powers and to have a modicum of safety. Just as it had made sense for her to leave when she was strong enough, powerful enough, to survive on her own. 

He had never been that strong. Only a fool in love with the idea of her and what she could be, unable to understand that she couldn’t accept the position she had had in life. That he had just been there to provide security until she could garner her own. Sure, it had been a decent time, nice even, but nice didn’t mean warm, it didn’t mean power.  

Perhaps it was why she enjoyed coming to the Little Penguin. The lack of expectations Eunhye seemed to have for her, the fact she molded her own powers with hers, it all reminded her of a time before she had Kings and Queens, before she had exactly what she wanted. Reminders were always important, after all.

“You should sit then,” Sooyoung replied, allowing the chair opposite her to reappear, “Your health is important.”

As the atmosphere changed, she allowed a content smile to appear on her face. It was a shame the woman had no interest working for her. She would have doubled or even tripled her profit if Eunhye had agreed to spend time at the club serving augmented realities along side herself. 

“This suits you,” she murmured, finishing her wine.

Through the Looking Glass

He intended to let the bugs just be. Most people could handle a few bugs. He’d hang some scented candles to keep the worst of it away, but in the end bugs would still exist.

Oh well, he knew not to let every word of her bother him. It was a game far too dangerous and far too exhausting for him to play.

And still, her smile made his heart stutter, like looking at a movie sunset. You knew it was fake, but hell, if it didn’t take your breath away, if it didn’t make you long. He breathed, Eunhye didn’t feel any of that, Eunhye didn’t care about that. Donghoon and his useless, destructive feelings for a girl so far out of his league it might as well be interspieces breathing, that loser just had to stay in the corner for this conversation. That’s the only way he could win. (And he made no mistake, this was a challenge, a competition and at the end of it there would be a clear winner and a loser, that was how it was with Sooyoung.)

He was taken off guard with the sudden complete change in the environment, blinking and looking around. The garden was beautiful, fading light settling warmly over the flowers in full bloom. He looked around, watching the couples lean close to whisper and giggle at each other, his eye falling on one couple in particular.

The girl, while not even bearing her likeliness so much, was Sooyoung. He knew, a gut feeling. But the man, he was – something in his gut churned, memories trying to flare up but pushed back in a fraction of a second. He was shorter than Sooyoung was, the black fuzzy shadow of a goatee around his lips, brown eyes full of worship as he reached for her hair, gently brushing a strand of it behind her ear.

Eunhye shook her head, the world spinning uncomfortably, something inside her brain hurting, clawing, twisting itself, like something didn’t make sense, defied all logic, like her brain couldn’t cope. She waved her hand and the couple disappeared.

“S-Sorry,” she mumbled, heart dropping at the thought of offending her customer. She put another bright smile on her face. “Dizzy spell.”

She smiled, even if it didn’t really reach her eyes. “It’s a bit dim lit for me. I think something brighter and cuter would do much better.”

She waved her hands, the lanterns shining more brightly, playful leadlights spreading the light in a pattern of colors, the colors of the flowers growing more vibrant, the couples smiling and laughing rather than whispering in each other’s ears.

[sooyoung-ph-blog]

Her lips twisted into a wicked semblance of a smile before smoothing back quickly into something more genteel, something more welcome to the situation. She enjoyed being scary, enjoyed the distance it created between herself and her clients. It meant they didn’t question her motives or attempt to get closer. Sooyoung wasn’t interested in that. She simply wanted to get from point A to B while still having her club as safe as she possibly could be. 

His smile was sloppy, even as he explained his pathetic state. At least he had acknowledged that there was no chance he’d even live a proper life. Her hand cradled her glass, sipping at it lightly, as she filed through the augmented reality she knew he’d prefer. Love, security, the general wants that the people of the island longed for. She’d put him somewhere familiar, let his mind fill in the blanks until she could solidify the thought into her own creation.

At his command, she slid into his mind, like a person slid into untested water. It was always the same, that first tentative entrance into a stranger’s mind. Immediately, she pulled up the familiar desire of love that he had wanted. The need he felt for it made no sense to her, an unnecessary emotion that served to only distract others from their goals at hand. She sipped her water, her power creating whatever dream  he wanted with precise technicality. 

Story High

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She dresses in blacks and greys yet she dreams in a vivid rainbow.

tinkermelon