songscloset

[songscloset]

I'm not really a HanLuke shipper but I can imagine them hooking up early in their friendship & then Han later after various revelations having a personal crisis over whether or not it's weird to have sex with both halves of a set of twins

[songscloset]

As a horror guy I vehemently do not support hatred towards romance girlies. Sister genres in my opinion. We both enjoy familiar tropes. We both enjoy interesting relationship dynamics explored between two or more people. We both enjoy werewolves.

[songscloset]

Tweet by Heather Hogan:

Straight friend: Will you sensitivity read my book for my lesbian best friend character?

Me, two weeks later: The lesbian best friend is absolutely perfect. Here's 16 pages of notes detailing the incorrect things you said about Star Trek.

5:32 PM on 2/25/24

[songscloset]

has anyone noticed lately how black friday deals or any type of "sale" deals aren't actually deals. like i had something on my amazon wishlist that was $19.99 before, and now it's saying it WAS $49.99 but is on sale for $19.99 for a "black Friday deal." as if it wasn't just $19.99 two weeks ago at regular price. like these damn websites atp are straight up lying and trying to trick people into thinking something is on sale/is a good deal when it's not. and this isn't exclusive to that one item or even just amazon. i've been seeing it everywhere. the fuck

[songscloset]

There's something that I find equal parts hilarious and terrifying.

On one hand it is so funny watching the generation previous to mine (I was born in 84) absolutely say the most unhinged shit online, doxx themselves, and get fired, after spending my entire childhood teaching me online opsec because every stranger was a potential murderer. Social media done rotted their brains.

But on the other I'm seeing kids coming up, seeing them spew all their personals online, and using that to model their unsafe behavior and put themselves at incredible risk because the internet actually got way more dangerous than it was, ironically, when I was coming up being told I had to basically outsmart the fuckin CIA. Now the actual CIA and other bad actors (government, private, and individual) really are out there and these kids are watching fucking meemaw post a photo of the front of her house practically captioned with her fucking SSN and thinking, "yeah, sure, the adults know what's safe."

I gotta be a fuckin millennial about this and beg younger folx to listen to the VCR generation: hide yourself online. Nothing should go there you wouldn't want in the hands of the person who hates you the most.

Be safe, be smart, be a fucking ghost.

[songscloset]

Okay fanfic writers, your mission, should you chose to accept it, is a filthy 100 word drabble, for any pairing, to be posted on Thursday, in time for American Thanksgiving.

Ready, set, write!

[songscloset]

Your a faggot kill ur elf

the fuck did my elf do

[songscloset]

Puffy? WHY?

Another thing I’d kind of like to change … as a concept… is that kissing someone makes their lips look bruised. I don’t know where that comes from in fanfic, but it has to go. Kissing someone does not make their lips look puffy and bruised.

The amount of kissing you have to do to make someone’s lips look puffy is a lot.

And it’s more than people are doing. In fanfiction.

I… I don’t know where that came from.

I kind of really want to know, actually.

I should try to find out.

It has to stop. It’s ridiculous.

It’s like the apocryphal story in which a young writer asks how far away does the heat from a person’s erect penis go – how far away can that heat be felt? Well, erect penises don’t actually exude heat, no matter what it might feel like when one has one.

So.

You have to be touching it, and even then it won’t be any hotter than the person’s body, so what’re you going to do?

Anyway, these and other ridiculous fanfiction beliefs, coming soon, to a story near you.

[songscloset]

saying ao3 needs to censor certain content is like saying a museum can't have still life art that includes strawberries because you don't like them.

these are not real strawberries. you do not have to, and in fact cannot, eat them. no one with a strawberry allergy will be harmed by looking at them. no migrant workers were exploited in the picking of these strawberries. there were no questionable farming practices or negative environmental impacts from growing or transporting them.

because - and i cannot stress this enough - they are not real strawberries.

if you don't like strawberries, you don't have to look at the paintings. in fact, you can get a map of the museum that lists what works are in what rooms and just. not go in there. if you see one by mistake, you can look away. just keep walking. there's plenty of other stuff to see.

yes, real strawberries can cause real quantifiable harm to real people.

but again. these are not real strawberries.

you may have whatever feelings you like about strawberries, and so can i. you can draw and write about whatever fruit floats your boat, and so can i, even if that happens to be strawberries. and we can hang our art side by side in the same gallery, provided you understand that my strawberries are not about you (and your kumquats are, shocker, not about me) and that - and this is true - neither are real.

and when the fascists break down the doors and grab all the strawberry paintings and heap them in the street and set them on fire, please know that they are coming for your kumquats next.

so if you want a place where you can show off your beautiful kumquat art safely, you're gonna have to tolerate having some strawberries in the next room.

and that's okay. because the strawberries aren't real.

[songscloset]

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image to 3d effect gif

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microsoft wordart maker (REALLY annoying to use on mobile)

you're welcome

[songscloset]

my most boomer ass take is that i hate when i unmute a video of a cat and its just the most obnoxiously loud pop music playing over it. bro put that shit away i'm here to listen to your cat. i wanna hear what he has to say.

[songscloset]

i am not like y’all , i will open tumblr in public without a second thought . if you’re invading my privacy by looking at my phone , i will scar you in return

[songscloset]

oh no