sometimes-a-writer

[sometimes-a-writer]

no one tells you how much of life takes practice. not just writing, painting, running, singing, etc, but practicing how to make friends. how to make the right ones. getting practiced at how to be a good friend, a good sibling, a good person. practice identifying when people haven’t earned that. learning to recognize your right to rage and, eventually, how to offer mercy. so much of life is muscle memory, and i’ve begun to realize there are so many more parts of ourselves to flex and stretch and strengthen than those we’re taught in anatomy lessons

[sometimes-a-writer]

You should be starting a recipe book. I don't give a shit if you're only 20-years-old. The modern web is rotting away bit by bit before our very eyes. You have no idea when that indie mom blog is going down or when Pinterest will remove that recipe. Copy it down in a notebook, physically or digitally. Save it somewhere only you can remove it. Trust me, looking for a recipe only to find out it's been wiped off the internet is so fucking sad. I've learned my lesson one too many times.

[sometimes-a-writer]

another variation on a theme ☕️🫖🫧✨

[Image Description: The image depicts a still life painting of a tea set, rendered in a modern, impressionistic style with visible brush strokes. In the center of the composition lies a glass teapot with a yellow and red design and a translucent appearance, casting a shadow to the left. To the lower left of the pitcher sits a glass tea cup, echoing the yellow and red color scheme, with a shadow cast to the lower left. A metal teaspoon with an ornate handle rests to the right of the pitcher, with reflections suggesting a shiny surface, and its shadow extends to the lower left. All objects are placed on a pale blue surface, seemingly in natural light, with a small yellow tea bag string tag positioned in the upper right corner of the image.]

[sometimes-a-writer]

Tea Facts

Black tea

Think black tea makes you feel good? You’re right. It’s been proven to help you de-stress fast. It also helps eliminate bad breath. Plus medical research indicates that it lowers the risk of heart attacks and strokes, and reduces bad cholesterol.

Green tea

Want to stay slim, trim and beautiful? The antioxidants in green tea just might slow signs of aging, prevent the flu and raise your metabolism. More dramatically, it’s being shown to prevent and slow cancer, and help with arthritis and bad cholesterol too.

Oolong tea

This one’s known as a fat-buster in China, and science is indicating that it does indeed speed up your metabolism, burn fat and block fat absorption! Use it to fight expanding waistlines, high blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease.

White tea

Science is saying that white tea might be more effective than even green tea at preventing cell damage, shrinking cancerous tumours and stopping the growth of cancer cells. Plus it’s becoming the new cosmetic fix for aging skin. Beautiful!

Pu’erh tea

Traditional Chinese medicine prizes Pu’erh as a wonder tea. It’s said to aid digestion, cleanse the blood and help with weight loss. Studies in Europe are also saying it busts cholesterol as effectively as some medications.

Rooibos tea

It’s said that rooibos helps you recover from hangovers, and that it could slow dementia. Plus there’s evidence that it fights skin cancer and boosts the immune system. And it’s supposed to help with insomnia!

Yerba tea

Yerba mate is a fabulous stimulant, without the jitters. It’s also full of antioxidants, so there’s scientific speculation that it could have anti-cancer properties, help stimulate the immune system and protect against disease.

Herbal tea

Herbs, spices, fruits and flowers have long been used in traditional medicine to cure everything from headaches, stomach bugs and colds to stress and insomnia. The power of the tea depends on its ingredients.

[sometimes-a-writer]

my cup of tea

[image description: a still life oil painting. A blue glass teapot is brewing chamomile tea, yellow teabag tag still hanging down. A pink glass teacup sits next to it, already full of tea. An ornate silver spoon lies beside it. Sunlight shines in from one side, casting long shadows and refracting through the glass onto the table. The painting is textured with brushstrokes that gently flow around each of the items. End ID]

[sometimes-a-writer]

Tea drinkers read this!!!

If you buy pre-made herbal tea blends (usually have names like Bedtime, Calm, etc) check the ingredients. I just saw a Nighttime blend that had St. Johns Wort in it, which can be dangerous when mixed with some medications. Talk to you doctor what herbs you should avoid. (Especially when you want to ingest st. Johns wort or mugwort) 

 A simple hint to remember is just because its in a food store, doesn’t mean its safe. 

[sometimes-a-writer]

🌸🧚‍♀️ fairy tea 🧚‍♀️🌸

[sometimes-a-writer]

fuck zodiacs I’ll judge people by their birthday playing card if ur a three of clubs I’m blocking you

[sometimes-a-writer]

[sometimes-a-writer]

tumblr should have a feature where if it’s someone’s birthday there’s a little party hat over their avatar so their followers can see it’s their special day

[sometimes-a-writer]

[sometimes-a-writer]

Tips for Making Life Work

1. Focus on doing one thing at a time. Tackling multiple activities may seem more efficient, but giving one task your complete attention is actually more productive in the end. It also cuts down on your levels of stress.

2. Slow down and enjoy the journey. Whatever you’re doing is important right now. Don’t wish it was over; and try and make it fun.

3. Stop being such a perfectionist. Don’t stress over details and impressing everyone.

4. Learn to delegate to others; take the pressure off yourself. Perhaps other people won’t do the job as well. But that’s how people grow so maybe give them a chance. It means you can do what you’d prefer to do as well.

5. Don’t always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. Most of the time things work out fine. There’s no need to worry. Relax and enjoy life.

6. Focus on what you have, not on what you wish you had. We all have things we can be grateful for. Not everything is awful. life isn’t always bad. And if you change your focus to what you’re thankful for, you’ll find you’re happier, and you worry a lot less.

7. If things go wrong, just shrug your shoulders and move on. Remind yourself that life will still go on. Things might work out next time. Tomorrow’s a new day

[sometimes-a-writer]

Tips for living alone for the first time

I moved out a year ago and thought it'd be cool to share what I've learned so you don't have to suffer as much :,)

Decide a day to sit down and pay all bills and everyone

Know and accept you won't get your initial budget right, it took me a year

Google is your friend, but people are better.

Especially when looking for cheap markets and places to eat, or safe streets to walk around, people know more than google.

4. Speaking of cheap markets... get those (free) memberships for discounts. But most importantly, dowload and check every supermarket app and search for the cheapest one.

5. When looking for a place to live, try to speak with people who live there and check google maps reviews and your countrys site for custumers complaints.

6. You likely don't need to clean as often as your family told you, but cleaning your place will make you feel better. And you gotta clean the fridge. And hair. So much hair.

7. If you don't have a fridge, just a small cooler, check if the building has a common fridge/kitchen and Don't. Be. Shy to use it please.

I recommend not moving into a place without a fridge if you don't plan on eating out or going to the market every two days.

8. Carry your documents with you, or write them down or make a copy. I recommend not carrying the original since if you lose it/get mugged it's a pain in the ass to get it fixed.

9. Cook as much as you can in one go, but don't overwhelm yourself. Get those washed vegetables and cut onions, do what you need so you don't end up exhausted and crying on the floor... not that I've ever done that myself...

10. It's gonna feel hard at times and that's ok! The freedom is worth it, and after a year I'm really happy with all the progress I've made

11. Avoid pets, especially in a scenario that you're moving around or in a small studio or with financial difficulties (this can change from ppl to ppl etc)

12. Join or make a chat group with everyone in the building, without the sindicate so y'all can be honest about complains and create a single, solid complaint before showing it to the sindicate. (apartment manager? syndic? assignee? idk, whoever fixes things)

That's all I can remember for now, feel free to ad or correct me if you like :)

[sometimes-a-writer]

ive just moved out of country for my second year of university, and this year i feel incredibly lonely. last year it was better because i had a boyfriend but now its just me and my school work. there are some club activities, but im usually to tired by the end of the day to go- or i forget. thoughts? any ideas would be great! Thanks so much! :)

First things first- we as humans are social creatures. We seek out social interaction, even the most antisocial person in the world still needs the occasional stimulating conversation. Don’t stress about making friends, it’ll happen one way or another. The best friendships are created organically, but that said, there are some things you can do to quicken the process.

1. Friends by proximity. I’m assuming that you’re moving to England for a purpose, whether it be school or job related. Be social and inquisitive when meeting your new classmates or co-workers, and that openness will help you create fast friendships. Remember elementary school? Remember how easy it was to make friends then? You’ve got this.

2. Places. Hang out at places that you would normally hang out with your friends. Scope out cool bookstores and cozy coffeeshops, and be on the lookout for similar-minded people. Find reasons to talk to these strangers, whether that means asking them for directions, what they’re drinking, etc. The next time you run into them, you’ll be able to start up a conversation.

3. Events. One of the quickest ways to make lots of new friends is to join a group that meets weekly that does something that’s important to you. This could be anything from a book club, to a Dungeons and Dragons game, to volunteer work. Go to your local library and read the bulletin board looking for groups that interest you. You may have to get on the internet to find something close by. At the very least you’ll have a weekly social event to go to where you won’t feel out of place.

4. Neighborly. This next one depends on you, but if you have cool looking new neighbors introduce yourselves to them. Hit them up at random and say something casual like “I was going to go out for a drink, wanna join?” Planning things in advance puts pressure on acquaintances, so try to be spontaneous.

Lots of love! XX

[sometimes-a-writer]

So I moved out of my parents home to live with mt bf who lived states away. I am now impossibly far away from my family. I'm feeling a bit of homesickness even though it was a negative (read: toxic) environment. I also REALLY miss my dog. Its 5am and I am insanely sad bc I dreamt about my dog. Any tips for dealing with some of these emotions?

It’s natural to feel a whole mix of emotions after moving out of a parent or guardian’s house. Being on your own for the first time can be scary, yet exciting. Saddening, yet liberating. It sounds like moving out was the right choice for you, but don’t be hard on yourself for feeling homesick or nostalgic. 

Here are some suggestions for you. But remember- everyone adjusts at their own pace! If there are days where you need to stay home and binge watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer and eat ice cream, let them happen.

Homesickness Suggestions

Go for a walk somewhere new. Check out a park, a local historic site, go for a jog by the river listening to your favorite new band.

Get involved in a DIY project. Organize some bookshelves, hang up that poster you’ve been meaning to, put some new screws in the desk drawer that will never close properly.

Learn a new skill. I just started baking and I love it. But if making banana bread is not for you, try knitting, gardening, or even learning a new language. Duolingo is free!

Join a club. I am always encouraging ya’ll to join a club that follows things that interest you. Join a book club, a D&D league, etc.

Volunteer. Ya’ll know that there are pets out there in need of some petting right now. Go volunteer at your local ASPCA! Spend several hours a week loving animals in need.

Start a journal. Writing is so therapeutic! Try to get into the habit of writing every day, even if it’s only a sentence or two.

Do some yoga. Here is a free website with hundreds of free instructional videos. You just have to make an account, and the possibilities are endless!

Go exploring. Get on the nearest public transportation and get off at a random stop. Learn the ins and outs of your new city, boyfriend in tow.

Deep clean. Put on some Disney classics and get your rubber gloves. Deep clean your new home! It’s distracting and productive.

Stay in touch. Stay connected to your friends and family members using any means possible. Skype/Facetime, group chat, What’sApp, what have you. Since you mentioned leaving a toxic home, only do this if it’s safe for you and your mental health. But there’s nothing wrong with spending four hours talking on the phone to your friends from your old state.

I hope these help! Lots of love xx

[sometimes-a-writer]

Hello, I love your blog! In a few months I'll be moving to a new city for a new job. I've moved around before, but I've always moved with family members (which makes it easier I think) and this will be my first time living completely alone in a new place. I'm also a bit of an introvert and can have a hard time finding friends. Do you have any tips on making this transition a bit smoother and staying social? Thank you!

Living On Your Own (For the First Time)

1. PKW. Phone, keys, wallet. Every time you go anywhere. Check twice. The worst part of living on your own is having to rely on yourself to never forget to lock yourself out or leave your wallet at a sandwich shop in a mall. Make absolutely sure you have duplicates of your keys (I would get a couple made) and give one to a friend who lives nearby who you can count on. I also like to keep an extra set inside the apartment itself in a secure place, just in case. Your landlord can let you in during office hours, but giving a key to a trustworthy friend helps you 24/7.

2. Cleaning routine. You don’t have to sit down at a writing desk and draft this out, but spend a few minutes coming up with a basic cleaning regime for you to follow. It’s definitely easier to do a little each day, but if that doesn’t work for your schedule set aside at least an hour and a half during your time off to get your apartment spotless. I don’t know about you, but whenever I deep clean my apartment I feel like I’m living in a hotel for a day, and I absolutely love it.

3. Make a “moving” shopping list. This is everything you will need (minus food) for your first week at your new place. First aid kit, cleaning supplies, tape, cat food, etc. Your first week moving into your new place will be stressful enough, you don’t want to be halfway through setting up your living room and realize that you forgot to buy trash bags.

4. Secure yourself. I’m not the most agile or fast person in the world, and I do live in a mid-sized city that has a good deal of crime. The apartment complex I live in is very safe, but I still like to double lock my front door at night. It might be smart to keep some pepper spray or a baseball bat somewhere in your apartment, just in case.

5. Stay social. Even the most anti-social person gets lonely. Make sure to hang out with your friends, not just your co-workers, your actual friends. Get out off your apartment every few days and go see a movie, get a cup of coffee, go people watching at the park, etc. It’s easy to get depressed if you’re living alone and doing the same things the same way every day- allow yourself to mix it up.

6. Meal prep. It can be stressful and seem useless to cook complicated or “fancy” meals when you’re living on your own. Plan your meals for the week and make a list before going shopping. Get yourself enough food to make a variety of dinners that will only take you fifteen minutes. If you do want to go crazy and make steak and mashed potatoes for yourself, make enough for two meals. Also, nobody is going to think poorly of you for stocking your fridge with a couple frozen dinners.

7. Customer service. Living alone means that you are going to be doing a lot of talking to customer service representatives. Get comfortable talking to people over the phone. Tell the rep what you need as quickly as you can, and try to be polite because customer service at a phone center is a garbage job that doesn’t pay well. On the flip side, don’t be afraid to ask for a manager if you’re upset or unhappy with your service. Take their survey at the end of your phone call, tell them how unhappy you are. It’s someone’s shitty job to look at all those surveys, no complaint goes unheard. Companies with great phone service: Verizon, Apple, Amazon. Companies with awful phone service: USPS (literally the worst), electric companies, health insurance companies.

8. Guest space. This is not required, but it’s a good idea to have some sort of space for a friend to stay the night. A friend of mine had a bad breakup, showed up at my apartment with ten minute’s notice, and then fell asleep on my couch after an hour of crying. It as 7:30! Whatever, she needed it. Keep an extra blanket and pillow in your closet, I like to keep travel sized shampoos and conditioners in my bathroom cabinet on the off chance a guest wants to use my shower. I got these at a hotel for free, but they’re available at CVS and other pharmacies.

9. Toilet paper. Don’t let yourself run out of toilet paper! I like to buy more when I notice I only have one roll left. The same deal goes for paper towels.

10. Enjoy. Living on your own is simoltaneously exciting and exhausting, but an all around must-have experience. Enjoy the freedom to forget to make the bed, to decorate your bathroom however you want, to have ice cream for dinner, to watch reruns of Friends and cry when Rachel decides to move to France. Make sure to give yourself lots of space to move at your own pace, but please remember to eat three meals a day and to go to the doctor’s for a checkup at least once a year!

Making Friends

First things first- we as humans are social creatures. We seek out social interaction, even the most antisocial person in the world still needs the occasional stimulating conversation. Don’t stress about making friends, it’ll happen one way or another.

The best friendships are created organically, but that said, there are some things you can do to quicken the process.

1. Friends by proximity.  Be social and inquisitive when meeting your new co-workers and that openness will help you create fast friendships. Ask lots of questions, people love it when you ask them lots of questions about things. Remember elementary school? Remember how easy it was to make friends then? You’ve got this.

2. Places. Hang out at places that you would normally hang out with your friends. Scope out cool bookstores and cozy coffeeshops, and be on the lookout for similar-minded people. Find reasons to talk to these strangers, whether that means asking them for directions, what they’re drinking, etc. The next time you run into them, you’ll be able to start up a conversation.

3. Events. One of the quickest ways to make lots of new friends is to join a group that meets weekly that does something that’s important to you. This could be anything from a book club, to a Dungeons and Dragons game, to volunteer work. Go to your local library and read the bulletin board looking for groups that interest you. You may have to get on the internet to find something close by. At the very least you’ll have a weekly social event to go to where you won’t feel out of place.

4. Neighborly. This next one depends on you, but if you have cool looking new neighbors introduce yourselves to them. Hit them up at random and say something casual like “I was going to go out for a drink, wanna join?” Planning things in advance puts pressure on acquaintances, so try to be spontaneous.

If any of my followers have any ideas, please chime in! And good luck!

[sometimes-a-writer]

what im learning is that you cannot avoid your way into a life you enjoy