somethingnewwithemma

[somethingnewwithemma]

“When it’s over, leave. Don’t continue watering a dead flower.”

— Unknown

[somethingnewwithemma]

I want to write like The Midnight Library and The Invisible Life of Addie La Rue and The Moulin Rouge. Characters who have this unkillable will to live and a moral that screams that the world sucks but it is worth it.

[somethingnewwithemma]

[somethingnewwithemma]

I shall love you at your worst and I will adore you at your best, as I have in the past.

There's nothing you could ever do at this point my love, that would force me to turn my gaze from your face.

You have me, until every last star falls from the sky and every ocean dries up.

Forevermore, why, it could never be long enough with you ~

[somethingnewwithemma]

"It's March. I open the window and spring floats in, kisses me on the nose. I have waited so long–and now the Sun is washing the world in yellow, and now the seeds sprout green in the dirt, and now the trees are budding and ready to bloom–and it was all so worth it."

– Schuyler Peck, Worth the Wait

[somethingnewwithemma]

repeating “my love is mine all mine” everyday in the mirror like an affirmation

[somethingnewwithemma]

here's what i could do: quiet mouth and mind, push my hands into the soaking earth, dig myself a new home in the dark

three things in a pile is a sculpture, a work of art. three words in a row. instead of folding words to open in another heart i'm just carrying water, putting out fires

[somethingnewwithemma]

@roach-works // Melissa Broder, "Problem Area" // Mary Oliver, "The Return" // @annavonsyfert // Koyoharu Gotouge, Demon Slayer // Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance // David Levithan, How They Met and Other Stories // Tennessee Williams, Notebooks

[somethingnewwithemma]

[somethingnewwithemma]

"Stop saying 15 year olds with weird interests are cringe, they're 15" this is true however you should also stop saying adults with weird interests are cringe because who gives a shit

[somethingnewwithemma]

Educate your son because I'm going to teach my daughter how to kill.

[somethingnewwithemma]

this is me all day

[somethingnewwithemma]

i think that human connection is such a blessing despite how temporary it can be. whatever happened or will happen to us is a fact of our existence, i am just grateful to have crossed paths with you and to have meant something to you somewhere somehow

[somethingnewwithemma]

my five year plan? read a lot of books. visit museums. walk through woods. stand in a river. adopt a little kitty. drink lemonade while sitting in a rocking chair on my porch.

[somethingnewwithemma]

my mother taught me to crochet when i was young. she was left handed, so she taught me how in the bathroom mirror so her hands would be in the right position.

she learned to crochet from her grandmother, who was right handed. her grandma was the one that originally used the bathroom mirror to teach her granddaughter properly.

i find something poetic about that. here in this bathroom mirror, through generations, we adapt to our young who have a different way of learning and interacting with the world

[somethingnewwithemma]

this is going to be difficult -> i am capable of doing difficult things -> i have done everything prior to this moment -> this difficulty will soon be proof of capability

[somethingnewwithemma]

To myself, raised in an environment that glorified and romanticized restriction and suffering:

There is no victory in skipping dinner, or lunch, or breakfast, or morning coffee, or dessert.

There is no victory in refusing heaters and air conditioners and fans and heated blankets.

There is no victory in denying yourself sleep, or showers, or movement, or water, or a comfortable bed, or taking the elevator vs. the stairs.

There is no victory in refusing pain meds and heating pads and ice packs and medical help.

There is no victory in punishing yourself needlessly, in telling yourself that this pain you feel is because you are bad to the core and deserve it.

There is no victory in choking back your laughter and your tears, to keep an imagined equilibrium of safety that is really just a dry, cracked, empty, endless emotional desert.

You are here. You are in this body, and this body is yours. You deserve good things. You are alive, and that is messy and loud, and messy and loud are okay.

It’s okay to live abundantly. It’s okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to indulge. This paralysis of self-punishment, self-restriction, self-loathing is not healthy or good for you.