someobliviousgirl - Tumblr blog

someobliviousgirl · 6 months

Text

Please Don't Leave Me

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word Count: 4281

Warnings: Angst, Pregnant!Reader, Natasha being an ass, injuries, Depression, Wanda being the bestest of friends.

A/n: Had this one in my head for some time and finally decided to write it. As it always seems these fics just seem to run wild and get longer than I mean them to be. I can tell you all right now I'm pretty sure your not going to like the ending very much 😅

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN

“Natty.” You try to get your wife's attention as she moves around the room quickly. Natasha is shoving things in a bag. “Nat.” You try again, but she doesn’t stop. Frantically moving around the room grabbing whatever she can. “Natasha!” You finally yell at her. She still doesn’t stop her movements. “Y/n I can’t right now.” She says shoving the last of her things in her bag. “Nat I have something important to tell you.” You try to reason with the woman, but she just zips her bag throwing it over her shoulder and walks past you. “There are things you don’t understand. I have to go.” You grab her arm and she finally looks back at you. “I really need to tell you this.” You try to reason with her. Your eyes pleading with her just to let you talk. But she shakes her head and pulls her arm from your grasp. “There are more important things than you right now.” She makes it to the door letting it creak open. “We will talk when I get home.” She doesn’t face you, only slightly turning her head before she is gone. “Don’t expect me to be here when you get back.” You see her hesitate in the door but she shakes her head before slamming the door shut behind her.

Your heart shatters in your chest as your legs buckle beneath you. A muffled thud is heard as your knees hit the ground. Your hand covers your mouth as a sob escapes the depths of your chest. You pull the small stick from your back pocket looking down at the two pink lines. “I’m pregnant.” You whisper to yourself like somehow Nat will hear you and come back, but you know she won’t. To Natasha her job has always been more important than anything. She loves being an Avenger and helping people, but it always comes at a cost to you. You had a sliver of hope that maybe just maybe this could change that. After what she had gone through in the red room she was pretty sure that she couldn’t get you pregnant but here you are. The prospects of having a child had given you hope that maybe she would come back to you. Be the loving wife that you know she can be. The little pink lines now taunting you as tears splash down on the plastic blurring your vision and the once prominent lines.

It seems like hours before you finally pick yourself up off the ground. Finally having cried all the tears away. Pulling yourself off the ground as you wipe your cheeks before making your way to your shared bedroom. It is empty, too empty. The book Nat was reading was still sitting face down open to the page that she had left it on. Moon light shining through the curtains illuminating the dark room. You don’t bother turning on the lights or changing clothes as you crawl into the cold bed. Seeming much larger now than ever before. You curl in on yourself, exhaustion from all the tears you have cried catching up to you. A pain in your chest as you finally drift off into nothingness.

Over the next few days multiple new stations report of the Avengers fighting one another. The chaos and destruction of a German airport. You place a hand over your lower stomach as the news flashes. ‘Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow has broken the Sokovia Accords. Now wanted for treason against the federal government.’ If you thought your heart couldn’t break more you were wrong.

It has been nearly four months since that fateful day. The day your world shattered around you. You had hoped that one day maybe Nat would try and contact you but those hopes had been dashed over a month ago. She had moved on and so should you. You slowly pack your things in the home that you once shared with your wife. You’re not even sure if you should call her that anymore. A single tear running down your cheek at the thought. You still love her deeply but you can’t live like this. You have a baby to think about now, you need to live for them. Placing your hand on your growing stomach as you gently rub your finger up and down feeling their movement and smiling.

A phone ringing breaks you from the tender moment. You grab your phone looking down to see an unknown number calling you. Your heart stops a moment wondering if after all this time it is finally Nat calling you. You're so distracted by the tight feeling in your chest that the phone stops ringing and the call ends. You still stare blankly at the screen before it starts to ring again. Phone lighting up in your hand once again still showing unknown as the caller.

This time you press the answer button. Your movements are slow as you bring it up to your ear. You open your mouth but no words come out, your breaths coming out erratic as you begin to panic. Your ear is soon filled with a soft voice. “Y/n/n?” That voice is distinct but not your wifes. “Y/n are you there?” The voice asks again. “W-Wanda?” Your voice trembles as your mind catches up. Your best friend is on the other side of the line.

This is the first time you have heard from any of the Avengers for a long time. Tony once stopped by but you refuse to let him in. You didn’t listen to any of the words coming out of his mouth as he spoke through the door. If it wasn’t for him you don’t think you would be in this position right now and maybe your hopes for a better future with Nat would have come true. Wanda had sent a few letters letting you know she was ok. You couldn’t obviously send anything back due to now knowing where she was and the nature of the events and why she was also on the run.

“Y/n/n?” Wanda’s voice breaks through your mind once again. “I-I’m sorry Wands. What were you saying?” Her words had been muffled by your mind. She shakes her head like you could possibly see her doing that. “Nothing sweetheart. Are you ok?” She can tell that something isn’t right. “Not really. I, I’m alone.” Wanda’s heart breaks for you. She may be on the run but she hasn’t been alone. “I’m tired, Wands.” You know you shouldn’t be thinking that with a child on the way but it has been hard. Tears start to fall down your cheeks as you sniffle into the phone.

Wanda made a decision right there. “Sweetheart, I'm going to send Vision to come and get you.” She knows it could be dangerous to have you with her but she also knows that you’re not a wanted fugitive so if for some reason that she is caught you will be left alone. But she will do everything in her power to keep you safe. She can’t stand to hear you this hurt and down. “W-what if that gives away where you are?” You question not wanting to bring her into any danger. “I’m safe here. If you want to, you can come here. We have to move every so often. You don’t have to if you don’t want to but I’m not going to leave you alone. You always have me.” You cry tears of happiness for the first time in a long time. “Yes.” Your voice is small but hopeful.

You land with Vision somewhere in what you believe to be Belgium. Vision never mentioned anything to you about your pregnancy which you are thankful for. You see Wanda bound out of the small quaint house on the outskirts of the town. You watch as she stops in her tracks a few feet away from you. Your head dropping, not wanting to see her reaction. Scared that she wouldn’t want you around any more.

“Y/n/n.” Wanda says quietly trying to get you to raise your gaze to hers but you don’t look up. Tears well in your eyes, scared to move, scared to look your best friend in the eye. Hands cup your face gently making you look up into green eyes. A soft smile on her face. “You're pregnant.” It’s not a question but a statement from the woman. You nod your head as she pulls you into her arms hugging you as tightly as she can without hurting you or the baby.

Just then the flood gates break. A sob leaves you as tears cascade down your cheeks into Wanda’s shirt. You bury your head in her neck. A hand rubbing gently up and down your back as you're held for the first time in months. Your legs give out as you clutch to Wanda for dear life afraid that you're going to wake up and she will be gone. Wanda holds on gently guiding you both to the ground as she lets you cry. Your tears soak her shirt as you sob for what feels like forever. Wanda whispers reassurances in your ear as she just holds you. Her gentle motions on your back, not ceasing.

Wanda lets you get out your pent up emotions. Sitting with you until your sobs turn into sniffles. “She left me. I never got to tell her.” You whisper, still gripping onto Wanda. “What sweetheart?” She asks, trying to get you to elaborate. “Natasha. I-I haven’t heard from her. She, she left that day to Germany. I tried to tell her. She, she told me that there were more important things than myself.” Wanda’s eyes swirl red with anger. How could Natasha do this to you? All she wants to do is fly off and break Natasha like she broke you. But Wanda comes back to reality when you grip her tighter, scared she will leave you just like Nat did.

“Please don’t leave me.” If it was even possible Wanda’s heart broke for you more. Like herself you don’t have any family. All of yours were gone long ago, but you had found a family in the Avengers, a wife. But that family is now broken but Wanda is determined to show you that she is still your family. “I’m not going anywhere sweetheart. I will always be here for you.” She kisses your head smiling. “And for the baby.” More tears come to your eyes but from happiness.

“So you and Vision?” You give a watery chuckle. Wanda nudges your shoulder and laughs. “Yeah.” She smiles happily when you pull back to look at her. “So like does he come with a vibrator setting?” You ask half joking half serious. “Oh my god Y/n!” Wanda exclaims, shocked by your bold question. You two laugh as she helps you off the ground leading you into the house.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to mention something to Nat?” Wanda asks you softly, causing you to look up from the book your head is buried in. You let out a sigh as this constant conversation. “If she wanted to know how I was doing she could have called me the same way you did.” You rub your swollen stomach. So close to meeting your precious little one. “Wands I know you are looking out for me and I also know how pissed you are at her. I also know that you partly want to tell her to rub it in her face on how royally she screwed up. She has had almost 9 months to find me. And I know that you said she has mentioned that she has done it for my own safety but at least hearing from her once would have been something. Instead she went no contact. The famous Black Widow knows how to send encrypted messages if she really wanted to.”

Wanda knows how much you are right and every time she has to touch base with the team she has been distant and cold with Nat. She so badly wants to break her heart the way she has to you. She knows how much you still love Nat and would love to be a family. These times are hard though with everyone on the run so she bites her tongue and nods her head to your words.

To get your mind off of things you put your book down and swing your feet off the bed. “Hey Wands, it's a nice night, maybe we can all take a walk.” Vision appears in the doorway. “That sounds like a lovely idea Y/n.” You smile at the synthezoid before giving a questioning look to Wanda. “Sure.” She nods her head. “But someone is going to have to help me with my shoes.” You chuckle trying to reach down to your feet which you can’t reach. The other two laugh before all of you put on some clothes and help you with yours.

Wanda and Vision are holding hands as you walk through the streets of Edinburgh, the quiet street clearing your mind as you three walk peacefully. Vision stops Wanda to talk a bit as you waddle over to a window with a news cast playing. You watch on as a breaking news cast flashes on the screen. As the scene plays out in front of you you gasp. “Wanda.” You call for her. The conversation dies between the two as they come up behind you seeing as the screen plays footage of New York being attacked. You all stand there silently as death and destruction is shown on the screen. Tony Stark missing flashes on the screen and Vision looks to Wanda.

“I have to go.” Vision says kissing Wanda’s hand that is still laced with his. He starts to walk away dropping her hand, Wanda pleads with him to stay. You start to drown them out as you watch the screen. Terrified that you may see something about Natasha come across it. Screams of pain makes you turn around seeing Vision impaled on a staff. “Vision!” Wanda screams, her hands glowing red ready to fight.

Someone else blasts Wanda from behind sending her flying into a building across the street. With you close proximity you're thrown back hard. Trying to brace yourself you hear a sickening crack as your wrist impacts with the ground. You scream out in pain. “Y/n!” Vision yells when he hears your cry of pain. You turn on the ground seeing him do the same. The two who attacked turned him over on his back and the thing that stabbed him placed the sharp end of the staff on his head.

Vision’s screams can be heard through the quiet streets. You struggle trying to get yourself up knowing your wrist is broken, cradling it close to your chest. You watch as red balls of energy slam into the two creatures throwing them back. Wanda runs towards Vision using her magic and pulling you safely over to him. Pain is written all over her face as she looks over the both of you. She uses her magic to lift all of you off the ground pulling you closer to her as she tries to fly you all away from the area. You all are almost hit by a beam causing Wanda to have to bring you all down. Wanda lands you both down gently laying you on the ground before turning to catch Vision with her magic.

“The blade, it stopped me from phasing.” Vision says as you see a bright yellow line in his body and he seems to be glitching. “Is that even possible?” Wanda asks, helping him sit up against the wall. “It’s not supposed to be.” He says, you can tell he is in pain. Your adrenaline is pumping so your wrist is just a dull ache at the moment. Wanda hovers her hand over Vision, her magic flowing and pulling the opening closed slowly but not completely. “I’m beginning to think we should have stayed inside.” You mumble feeling guilty that this could have been avoided if not for you avoiding your feelings about Nat.

You and Wanda are pushed back by Vision as one of the creatures grabs Vision flying off and fighting against a building. The other comes and attacks you and Wanda. Wanda puts a barrier of magic around you. She starts to fight the female creature as your heart races in your chest.

You lose sight of the both of them fighting. Wanda’s magic dissipates from around you allowing you to move forward looking for your friends. You can hear it now so clearly in your head like she actually is yelling at you. Natasha’s voice tells you to run and protect yourself, but Wanda is your best friend and she has been there for you. So you push that voice away following the commotion. You run into the train station seeing Vision propped against a railing. Wanda stands red surrounding her hands as the two creatures look ready to fight once again.

Squealing of wheels from the train moving past has you all looking. A dark figure in the shadows looms behind the moving train. The female creature throws her trident-like spear at the figure when the train passes. The figure catching it perfectly as he walks into the light you see Steve Rogers. You try to get up behind the female creature but she quickly turns wrapping her hand around your throat.

“Y/n!” Wanda screams. The female creature throws you back and you land on your back crying out in pain. You feel a gush of liquid between your legs after you hit the ground. Wings fly in front of you as Sam Wilson collides with the creature. You let your hand drift down feeling the wetness and bring your fingers back up into view, relieved that it isn’t blood, but your heart drops when you realize what is happening. You gasp in pain from the sharp feeling in your stomach.

Wanda uses her magic again to pull you towards her and Vision. Wanda pulls you into her lap. That is when you spot her in the distance. The hair color may be different but she is still herself. Natasha fights with Steve against the creatures. You have tears in your eyes as you look up at Wanda. “Wands, I think my water just broke.” You groan in pain again. You can see the panic in her eyes as she looks around the area. It’s not long before the fighting is done and the other three walk over towards you three.

Natasha stops dead in her tracks when she sees you. Your swollen stomach has her chest rising and falling a bit fast. She thinks maybe it could be someone else's but she knows deep down that the baby is hers. She wants to cry but she turns stone cold hiding her emotions. Hating herself for leaving you, for never reaching out in all this time. You cry out in pain causing her to look back to you. You're curled in on yourself in Wanda’s lap. “It hurts.” You whimper. Wanda holds you closer to her. “I know sweetheart.” Wanda looks to the other three. “We need to get them out of here.” She can see the two men side eyeing her before Steve speaks up. “Quickly, get them to the Quinjet.”

Natasha moves to help you but you pull away. “I have her, can you help Vision?” Wanda says flatly, Nat can only nod moving away and helping Vision up. Wanda effortlessly lifts you in her arms and you all make your way to the Quinjet. Your contractions are getting strong and closer together. Natasha can only watch from afar as you whimper in pain. Wanda helps you and Vision sits close holding his side.

“We need to get her to a hospital.” Wanda says brushing the hair sticking to your forehead out of the way. “We will be at the compound in 30 minutes.” Steve explains. “Steve, I don't know if she can last that long.” She iterates looking back down at your pained face. “It’s the best I can do Wanda.” She sighs gently stroking your cheek. “It’s ok Wands. I’ll be o-” Your cut off by another contraction. All Nat can do is look on with regret.

Once the quinjet finally lands Wanda lifts you in her arms again and runs into the compound they enter and see Rhodey talking to a hologram of Secretary Ross. “We need medical.” Natasha says out, causing Rhodey to turn and for Secretary Ross to start arguing. You can’t concentrate on what they are saying but you know it isn’t great. Rhodey ends the call and signals for medical, who come in with Bruce.

As they wheel you away the team follows. Before Wanda can head in after you Nat grabs her arm. Wanda whips her head around anger evident on her face. “Please just tell me. Is it mine?” Wanda gives an amused chuckle. “Of course it’s yours.” She pulls her arm from Nat’s grasp and follows you in the room. Nat lets tears slip down her face. She left you alone pregnant with her child. Not once contacting you in the last nine months. She had told herself she was doing it to protect you and to keep you out of this life, but she was wrong and she sees that now. She understands now why Wanda became so cold towards her after a few months. She has to fix this. She has to be able to win you back and to become the family she always wanted and she will do anything to get that back.

Natasha can hear your cries of pain as you go through labor wishing more than anything she could be there with you but you don’t want her to be. But you chose Wanda and she understands why. She soon hears other cries. The crying of her child as they are born. Tears slip down her cheeks as she hears them. The boys know not to go around her or to talk to her at this moment. She is breaking on the inside and all she has to blame is herself.

An hour later Wanda walks out and comes over to Nat. Her head is down, not looking at the younger woman waiting for a scolding, but that doesn’t come. “You can go meet your son.” Wanda speaks with no emotion to her voice. Natasha looks up and Wanda can see she has been crying but that doesn’t change how angry Wanda is at her. “I have a son?” Nat whispers. Wanda just nods her head and moves out of the way.

Natasha slips into the room quietly. Her heart stops seeing you laying in the bed with a blue bundle in your arms and a smile on your face. More tears spill as she quietly makes her way over to you. You don’t look at her until she is standing right next to you. “He’s beautiful.” Nat mumbles trying to stop the sob that so desperately wants to escape. You have a soft look on your face and she can’t read it. “Meet Alexander Pietro Romanoff.” You smile down at your son. Natasha lets the tears freely fall. “Romanoff?” She questions you. “Romanoff.” You repeat looking back up at her with a soft smile. She feels a flicker of hope that she can fix this, that she can have her family.

“Do you want to hold him?” You ask her softly and lightly lift him the best you can with your broken wrist. Nat nods and takes him from you holding him in her arms. She has so much love for him already that more tears well in her eyes. You watch her as she holds the baby and cries.

“I’m sorry.” Nat whispers. “I'm so sorry.” She looks at you with teary eyes. “I know.” Is all you can respond with. She looks back down at the now sleeping boy. Just looking at him and remembering all of his features. She had seen the flicker of green in his eyes, the same as hers. But he looks so much like you. He is just as beautiful as you are.

Loud beeping makes Nat’s head snap up. Your face is now pale and your eyes are closed. The sheets are staining red between your legs. Doctors rush in as she backs away holding her son close to her chest. He starts to cry with all the noise and commotion. Her heart rate picks up and she starts to panic. The voices of the doctors are muffled to her ears as she feels the blood rushing around. She can only focus on you, your face pale and your body limp in the bed as doctors work around you. They soon wheel you out of the room mentioning something about you hemorrhaging and needing to go to surgery.

Nat starts sobbing in the empty room. All that is left is herself and her son. She slides down the wall begging to whatever is out there in the universe that you will be ok. That you will come back to her and your son. Promising that she will do better and be better. She will be the wife that she had promised in her vows. She will do anything for you to take her back, just please let you live. She whispers in the emptiness. “Please don’t leave me.”

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someobliviousgirl · 7 months

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For her | y belova

Summary: Yelena tries to find the balance between spending christmas with her girl and tracking down Clint Barton…

Warnings: none

Pairings: yelena belova x reader

wc: 1.7k

note: I know it’s not christmas but I love this fic and couldn’t really wait an entire year :)

-⧗-

A classic Christmas movie played quietly on the tv in the living room, as the two women sat on the couch, snacking on pretzels and chips. The sun had set, so the room was lit up in a multitude of colour coming from the festive lights strung up outside.

Y/n had her feet tucked underneath her as she curled up on the couch, leaning into the arm rest. Yelena was stretched out across the seat, her toes occasionally jabbing into Y/n's thigh if she wanted to annoy her. It was a chilled out kind of evening, one they both needed.

They both reached for the m&m's, their hands bumping, making them both blush. "This is nice" Y/n hummed, before throwing a handful of candy into her mouth. Yelena nodded in agreement.

"We should make Christmas cookies tomorrow. Or gingerbread?" Y/n asked, hoping to get a reaction from her girlfriend. But Yelena just shrugged, her eyes not moving from the tv screen.

Y/n furrowed her brow in concern. "Lena?" She asked, turning her body to face the blonde.

"Hm?" Yelena hummed in response.

"You ok baby?" Yelena still didn't turn around, but Y/n knew not to push. She looked deep in thought. "What's going on inside that gorgeous head of yours?"

"It's the first Christmas" Yelena whispered.

"Babe, we've been dating for 3 years. This is our 3rd Christmas together." Y/n laughed, trying to cover up the confusion she had over her girlfriends comment.

"It's the first Christmas without her" Yelena's voice wobbled dangerously and Y/n watched her jaw tense as she tried to keep the tears at bay.

A silence hung over the room, only broken by the quiet mumbling of voices coming from the tv. Y/n could see Yelena's throat bobbing up and down as she swallowed thickly, and she tried to figure out what to say next.

But she didn't say anything. Instead, Y/n climbed off the couch and knelt in front of her girlfriend, gently placing a hand on her knee.

"Hey, Lena, look at me."

Yelena turned her head to look at her, her eyes refusing to let the tears spill over.

"I know you miss her. It's ok to. But she's not fully gone." Yelena tilted her head in confusion. "She's in here. Always." Y/n placed her hand over Lena's heart, and the blonde placed her hand on top, giving it a light squeeze. "Why don't we go visit her on Christmas, yeah? You can put that gift, yeah I know you've got one in your closet, you can put it next to her. I'm sure she'll love it."

Yelena smiled a bit at Y/n's words, before pulling the smaller girl off the floor and into her lap for a hug. The pair sat in each other's arms, wrapped in the tightest hug.

"Why don't we finish this movie and then go snuggle in bed. And then we can paint each other's nails all festive!" Y/n suggested, and Yelena nodded.

Y/n stood up off her girlfriend's lap and made her way over to the fridge, pulling out 2 glass coke bottles. She placed them on the coffee table and Yelena instantly brought hers up to her mouth, shuddering at the cold bubbles. The pair clinked their bottles together, Yelena smiling at the sight.

"You 'cheers' your bottle how Nat used to. She always held the top and clinked the bottom. Though one time she was so rough she broke the top off my vodka. I made her buy me a new one though." Yelena's eyes lit up as she told the story and Y/n smiled, proud to see her girlfriend talking about happy memories of her sister.

Loud christmas music started up on the tv, making both girls jump. They pulled their focus back to the movie for a while, before Yelena spoke up again.

"Y/n/n?” Yelena whined.

"Yessssss??" Y/n mimicked the tone her girlfriend used.

"Stop it!" She giggled. "Can you braid my hair?"

"What's the magic word?" Y/n smirked.

"Cyka" Yelena joked, seeing Y/n raise an eyebrow.

"I think you'll find it's 'please'"

"Fine! Please... cyka"

"Oh you are this close" Y/n made a tiny gap with her fingers "to sleeping on the couch tonight." She huffed.

"Ok ok. Please baby. Please can you braid my hair?"

Y/n just rolled her eyes. "You know how to braid! Do it yourself."

Yelena crawled closer to her girlfriend. "Yeah but you do it better. Plus, I want you to do it how you did Nat's."

Y/n softly smiled at how vulnerable her love was being. Yelena was very rarely like this. "Ok. Come on. You can sit here." She patted the floor between her legs, on which Yelena instantly plopped herself down on.

Y/n grabbed the hair tie from the table and began sectioning Yelena's hair into 3 parts, intricately weaving them to create a dutch braid. Yelena kept stuffing her mouth with m&ms whilst Y/n moaned at her to keep still so the braid would be straight.

Y/n braided all the way down her head until she got to the top of Yelena's neck. "I'll braid a little bit more and then tie it off, because your hair is still wavy from today's braids and I think it looks cute."

As Y/n tied off the braid, Yelena reached her hand up to feel her new hairstyle, only to have her hand slapped away.

"Don't touch it! I'm not done yet." Y/n ordered, meaning Yelena just stuck her hand back into the bowl of candy, chewing loudly. Y/n rolled her eyes and started pulling the braid out to give it some volume. She also pulled at the hair on top of Yelena's head, to add volume to the front.

"Now you can touch it." She said, sinking back into the couch cushion.

Yelena jumped up and walked over to the mirror, turning her head to check out her hair. "I love it!" She turned back to Y/n, who was watching her with adoration in her eyes. "And I love you!" She ran over and tackled Y/n into a hug, planting kisses all over her face and neck. The pair connected their lips and Y/n rolled over to straddle Yelena, swiping her tongue across the girl's lower lip. Yelena moaned and opened her mouth, but they were interrupted by Yelena's phone buzzing.

She groaned, pushing Y/n off her lap and walking over to the table where it was on charge. Y/n watched her girlfriend's expression change from happiness to stone cold.

"Who is it?" Y/n asked.

Yelena continued to stare at her phone, before muttering "I need to go."

She stormed over to the cupboard and pulled out a black bag, emptying its contents onto the floor. Y/n's eyes never once left Yelena, confused as to what was happening.

The blonde assassin stripped out of her plaid pyjama pants and oversized sweatshirt, before slipping into her black suit, zipping it up all the way. Y/n eyes went widened in realisation.

"Lena.." Her voice was dangerously low.

"Don't, Y/n" Yelena warned as she strapped her widow bite cuffs onto her wrists.

"You found him, didn't you." She asked, afraid of the answer. She knew Nat would be heartbroken if she knew what her sister was doing, but Yelena wouldn't listen. She always stormed out whenever Y/n brought it up.

"Don't wait up for me." Yelena strapped her gun to her thigh and checked her grappling hook was secure in her belt, her back now completely towards Y/n. She knew if she looked towards her girlfriend, all she'd see is disappointment, so she chose not to.

"Lena please. It's Christmas..." No response. "You know Nat wouldn-"

"Don't say her name!" Yelena growled.

Y/n didn't say anything, only swallowing as she saw how tense Yelena was. She carefully got up off the couch and walked over to Yelena, who had picked up her head cover and goggles. She wrapped her arms around the assassin's waist, leaning her chin on her shoulder.

"Stay safe. Please. I cant lose you too." She whispered, her voice dangerously close to breaking. Yelena turned around and pressed a kiss on Y/n forehead, wrapped her muscular arms around her shoulders.

"I'll be ok. I'll be back before you know it. Go to sleep baby and I'll be there when you wake up." Y/n sighed, inhaling her girlfriend's scent one more time before they both broke away from the hug.

Y/n helped her put her head cover on, adjusting the goggles so they sat right on her face. She kissed Yelena once more on the cheek, before letting her walk out the door of the apartment.

After Yelena left, Y/n walked to the window on the opposite side of the room and watched the pavement as she saw Yelena walk out of the main door and onto the street. She followed her girl's figure until she turned a corner and disappeared from view.

Y/n took a shaky breath in as worry started to take over. Her hands shook slightly as she clasped them together, taking one last look out of the window before walking back into the living room.

She sunk onto the couch and placed her head in her hands, tears flowing down her cheeks. One hand made it's way to the necklace that hung around her neck, her fingers clutching onto the silver arrow charm.

"I'm sorry Nat" She whispered, before her voice broke into sobs.

The once festive apartment now had a darkness hanging over it, one that should not be associated with Christmas.

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someobliviousgirl · 8 months

Text

You Stupid, Stupid Idiot

Warnings: Angst, Injury, death, No Happy Ending

“We have a mission.”

It’s all Steve said as you and Natasha entered the kitchen, sleep still fresh in your eyes as you stand behind her with your arms wrapped around her waist, and your chin on her shoulder. You raise your brows at the man in his blue, white and red spandex who claps his hands a few times in front of the both of you and you shake your head quickly trying to wake yourself up as the reality of his words hit you.

“Wait a mission? But it's Sunday?” You groan, Natasha holds in a chuckle as Steve sends you a glare.

“Yes, a mission like Hydra is going to take a day off. Everyone is coming so please go get yourself mission ready.”

“Yes boss man.” You give him a fake salute as you drag yourself and Natasha back to your room to get changed into your mission gear.

"What do you think the mission is? Steve seems pretty stressed." Natasha turns to you as you put the finishing touches on your suit.

"That man's always stressed, baby." Natasha chuckles, gently slapping your shoulder at your response.

"I'm serious dorogaya, he hardly stresses about missions and he said everyone is involved. Whatever it is, it must be serious." You turn to look at Natasha using your finger and thumb in her chin to tilt her head to look at you.

"Steve is a stresser, but you're right it must be big for the whole team to be involved. So let's not keep them waiting." You lean down pressing a gentle kiss to her lips before tapping her butt earning a chuckle that breaks the kiss apart. "Let's go."

"Yes boss woman." Natasha gives you a fake salute smirking as she turns around and heads towards the door.

"Oh you're gonna regret that." She squeals as you start to chase her out of the bedroom.

♤♡◇♧

"So everyone knows the plan?" Everyone looks at Steve from their seats in the quinjet all giving a small yes or thumbs up. "Good because we are five minutes out."

“It's a quick in and out with hardly any agents, they think they are moving out of the base. Yeah right. So tell me now, miss romanoff, why do we need the whole team?” You ask quietly to the red-head sitting next to you, curling a brow at your question.

“He isn’t telling us something.” You nod at her response, both your eyes darting to the star-spangled man who is standing by the door of the jet, reading from the tablet in his hands.

“I wonder what it is he is hiding from us.” You look back to Natasha who is trying to get a read on the man, his body language showing he is hiding something by the way he shuffles on his feet, clearing his throat unnecessarily, looking around to make sure no one is looking over his shoulder.

“We could always ask Wanda.” You both look in the young Sokovian’s direction, the brunette looking down at her hands as she fiddles with her fingers as Vision does his best to calm her down, but his logical thinking makes that difficult.

“She looks terrified.” Natasha states the obvious as you both take in the way Wanda’s complexion is rather pale, muttering to herself as she glances at Steve every now and again.

“She knows.” That’s all Natasha needs to hear from you to stand from her seat and make her way over to Wanda, kneeling down in front of the girl and placing a hand on her knee; you were quick to join sitting in the free seat next to her. Vision sees the look you give him, understanding enough to leave the three of you alone.

“What is he hiding?” Wanda looks at you and Nat wide eyed.

“I-I-I don’t know what you mean.” Natasha raises a brow and Wanda sighs knowing there is no use in lying. “Hydra managed to get one of Tony’s nanotech suits and are experimenting on it, him and Tony don’t know what to expect when we go in. They don’t think all of us will be coming home.”

“All of us always come home Wands, don’t worry about that. Just worry about fighting the bad guys and let Tony and Steve deal with whatever they are here for.” You wrap your arm around the younger girl's shoulder pulling her into a half embrace as Natasha squeezes her knees; the actions allowing Wanda to relax slightly.

“Okay, everyone, let's get this done.” The three of you look to Steve who is pressing the button to open the door and you are met by what seems to be an abandoned building, all of you cautiously make your way out of the jet.

“I will see you in a minute.” You smile at Nat’s saying, turning your head to look down at her before leaving a soft kiss on her lips.

“I will see you in a minute.”

♤♡◇♧

“Y/n, shit! Stay with me.” You watch as Wanda slides onto her knees, almost colliding with your tired body that's slumped against a wall, her hands moving to cup your cheeks moving your head so you’re looking at her. “Hey, hey. You’re going to be fine okay. Let's get you out of here, back onto the jet and you and Nat can finally get married.”

“Wanda.” Your voice is weak, as a small amount of blood starts dribbling from the corner of your mouth.

“No, don’t you dare Wanda me. You and Nat are getting married next week, and I'll be damned if I don't help you get to that altar on time. So you keep your eyes on me, and I will get you out of here.” You don’t miss the tremble in her voice, the panic in her eyes, not believing her own words as she puts her finger to the coms in her ear. “Natasha, you need to get to the east side of the building, 3rd floor at the end of the corridor.”

“I’m a little busy with these Hydra goons right now Wanda, get Y/n to help you.” Wanda looks to the ceiling blinking away her tears, looking at you as you shake your head trying to stop her from saying what she is about to.

“I can’t, I need you here because it’s Y/n.” You hear the coms crackle in your own ear, the silence is deafening as you wait to hear a response.

“I’m on my way … Cap?”

“I got it, go.” Wanda looks back at you, using her free hand to wipe up the blood that is still leaving your mouth, and her eyes finally look down to the cause, taking her fingers off the com.

“I might be able to save you. I mean I’ve healed vision before, I should be able to heal you.” Her voice cracks with the emotion she is holding in, her hand moving down to your abdomen before brushing against the steel bar that you’ve become impaled on.

“He is a literal walking microwave Wanda, wires and a powerful universe gem thing. This, this is something only a surgeon can fix.”

“So let's get you to doctor Cho, or Bruce. Yeah Bruce will know how to save you.” You shake your head, your bloodied hands grabbing a hold of Wanda’s frantically moving ones as she tries to come up with any ideas.

“Wanda, if we move me off this thing I’m dead.”

“And if you stay here, you’re dead.” The realisation seems to hit her and the tears start to flow down her cheek as she shakes her head in denial, her bottom lip quivering as she lets out a small no. “You can’t die, you and Nat are all I have left.”

“And you will still have Nat…” Before you can say anything else you feel another set of hands on your body and turn your head to see Natasha searching you up and down frantically, her panicked state not allowing her to see the obvious.

“Come on, up.” She says like she is talking to a child who is screaming and crying over simply having tripped over their own feet.

“I can’t.” You cough, a splatter of blood leaving your mouth, marking Wanda’s clothes and the floor. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, nothing a little seltzer water and lemon can’t fix." You chuckle before coughing, Wanda using her sleeve to clean the fresh blood.

"Sure thing Wands, that should work." Wanda gives you a pressed lip smile, trying her best not to completely break down in front of you.

"What happened?" Natasha's soft voice causes you and Wanda to turn back to look at her, you wincing when the metal bar shifts slightly with your movement and you notice Natasha's eyes glued to the sight of it.

"I was trying to get into the archive room and grab the blue prints and the plans and any intel I could. I didn't notice someone sneaking up behind me and Y/n jumped between me and him as he shot off his weapon. It was like Stark's blasters but in gun form and her shields weren't enough to stop her flying across the room." Wanda rambles desperately trying to make sure you don't die on her as she speaks.

"Where is he?" You see the flash of the old Natasha, the bloodthirsty assassin, as her voice drops an octave.

"Dead." You weakly lift your hand to her cheek, rubbing soft circles along her cheekbone with your thumb and see the look that was there one second disappear at your words.

"I may or may not have thrown him from the window." Wanda says shyly, earning a small chuckle from you and Natasha. "And yes I checked the body Nat, I couldn't let him get away with this."

"Nat what's your status?" The coms crackle once again in your ear at Steve's voice. "We are all done here, the three of you need to get back to the jet. We can't risk reinforcements coming."

"Steve." You hate the way Natasha's voice wavers, her normally strong but soothing voice gone and in its place a broken croak that once again silences the coms.

"How long do you need?" Tony's voice is next and at his question Natasha looks at you, the color slowly draining from your face as more blood is coughed up by you; Wanda once again wiping your face clean of it.

"I don't … I don't know, but just …. Please just wait for us." Natasha swallows harshly as she watches Wanda sandwich one of your hands between the both of hers.

"Maximoff?" Tony seems to be taking over the command, which doesn't surprise you as Steve was never very good when it came to the death of someone he knew. You could imagine him sitting in his seat with his head in his hands as Bucky tries to comfort him.

"Yeah." You and Wanda both reply at the same time, earning a small chuckle down the coms.

"The older, not so good looking Maximoff." You can hear the smirk on Tony's face and you chuckle but wince in pain as the bar shifts again as your body slumps more as you struggle to keep yourself up.

"Rude." Is all you say but smile as you hear the chuckles of the other teammates and the two people in front of you. "I'm only 27, not that much older."

"That's 7 years sestra. Quite the age gap." You move to hit her, but a strong pair of hands on your shoulders stops you from moving and you give Nat a questioning look.

"The metal, don't move." You scrunch your brows as you follow her eyes and gasp when you see the metal poking out of your abdomen covered in blood.

"How did that get there?" You goofily smile as you move your free hand to the bar, your fingers poking the end. "And whose blood is that?"

"Nat…" You look back to Wanda, whose eyes are filled with fresh tears as she watches the delirium from the loss of blood take over.

"Why are you crying Wands? Did someone die? Who died?" One of Wanda's hands moves to wipe her tears as Natasha takes your other hand in hers.

"No one yet sestra. No one, I'm just happy to see you." You scrunch your brows.

"Well that's silly because we see each other everyday. So who's gonna die if no one has died." Wanda's bottom lip quivers her eyes saying it all and your head drops down to look back at the metal bar, as everything seems to hit you at once the delirium no more as it's wiped out by the reality you are in. "Oh."

"I love you." Your head moves to look at Natasha, a wide smile on her face as she sees you practically melt at the words.

"I love you too Tasha. I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm going to make it to the altar." Natasha lets out a small sob, turning her head to look away from you as she tries to compose herself.

"Hey Y/n." You hum, your head flopping to the side slightly as you look at Wanda, forcing your eyes to stay open. "When you see Pietro, tell him I said hi and that he needs to behave until I get there. I don't want to get to the afterlife and see you've murdered our brother because he was annoying you."

You let out a small laugh, no longer feeling the pain as the metal bar shifts your eyes nearly closed as your breathing slows down. You can feel that the inevitable is coming and there is nothing anyone can do, but you know you have to fight until your last breath so you force your head up leaning the back of it against the wall. Clearing your throat and opening your eyes as much as you can to see the two women in front of you, tears staining their cheeks as they hold your hands up theirs.

"I promise not to kill Peitro, that's your job. He is your twin after all." Wanda nods with a laugh leaning forward to press a kiss to your forehead before leaning her own against yours. "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone, and look after Nat for me. She is going to need you more now than ever."

"I promise." You gently rub your forehead against Wanda’s, something you have done since you were kids as your way to make a promise instead of making a pinky promise.

"And you, my love, you look after my sister. You are both going to need each other." You swallow harshly, feeling your eyes starting to get heavy, unable to keep them open as you feel your throat dry, slapping your lips together and leaning into the touch on your cheek as Natasha places her hand on it.

"I love you dorogaya." You smile weakly, your eyes staying closed as you take a shaky breath trying to use the last of your energy for her.

"I love … love …y-y-ou too." Natasha feels your head fall more into her hand, your chest not rising as the last of your breath leaves your body as you allow the darkness and the inevitable consume you.

"Natasha." Natasha clears her throat at the sound of Tony’s voice, placing her finger on her coms.

"We are on our way." That's all she says as she moves closer to your body, wrapping one arm under your legs and the other around your back slowly pulling you off of the metal bar.

Wanda keeps your hand in hers as she stands with Natasha, the both of them walking in silence. The only sounds that can be heard are the soft cries of the young Sokovian and the two women's footsteps in the cold snow as they step outside and towards the quinjet.

They ignore the looks of sympathy from Tony and Steve, stopping themselves from saying anything as they spot Wanda's glare; her eyes glowing red. They both look away from two women who are cradling your body as they sit down, Natasha running her hand through your hair as your head lays in her lap. Wanda still has not let go of your hand, feeling that if she does it will make it all too real and she can't say goodbye to another sibling. Wanda looks at you shaking her head as her mind flashes memories of watching you fly into the wall as you save her life and she can only think of saying one thing to you now that you can't hear her.

"You stupid, stupid idiot."

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

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someobliviousgirl · 8 months

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Between Two Lungs (One Shot)

A/N: Hello dears, so here it is the infamous fic I’ve been writing. I really hope this fullfils my dream of crushing your hearts once again and that you have a fun time agonizing over this final choice. Because yes, I’ve made this a multiending fic…As always, remember to tell me what you think, is it something you want me to keep doing for other fics? Also, how did you feel after this? pls let me know. Also i made this PLAYLIST if you want to add some feeling to this while reading… Enjoy!

Lena Luthor x R/Hanahaki AU//Word Count: 3,464

————————————————-

It is possible to die of a broken heart.

You look it up somewhere in the internet. It’s similar to a heart attack, caused by a very strong and emotionally stressful event. The death of a loved one, a breakup, a betrayal. It’s treatable and rarely fatal. Following the recommendations of your doctor, you can make a full recovery within weeks. Still, it is possible to die of it.

You don’t have a broken heart. You wish you had one. Because love, the one only you feel, is growing inside of you and it is much worse than that.

Thankfully, compared to others your condition it’s not as painful as it could be.

You have heard about people with roses inside them, how their thorns puncture their pharynges with every breath they take. Others don’t get flowers. They get apple or cherry trees with their fruits pouring juice inside their lungs and out of their mouths. Some others have pines and spruces, with cones constricting their organs and rib-cages until they bones break.

So you look at the small white petal that lays in your hand and think that, in your case, it is something almost magnanimous.

Afficher davantage

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someobliviousgirl · 9 months

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The way they would've served!

Also, the biggest power couple.

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someobliviousgirl · 10 months

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Hey! Could i request a fic about a spider reader who has the symbiote in his body and is acting in a more arrogant way and Natasha realizes this and tries to help her girlfriend. Thank you and I love your writing!!

a favour to fury | natasha romanoff

synopsis: based on the request above! i added a little bit of my own twist and had fun with it, hopefully that's ok.

natasha romanoff x venomised! spidey! reader

word count: 4.5k words

warnings: brief graphic descriptions of violence

masterlist

natasha was five months pregnant when fury approached you regarding a supersecret project norman osborn had been studying for the past year and a half. they had called it a symbiote, you remembered, designed to mutualistically bond with a human host at the subcellular level.

you had asked what it was for, half-heartedly already packing your things to go home to your pregnant wife. work was done for the day, and fury was holding you back. he said he had wanted to make you stronger, almost invincible. you shot him a look that said seriously? and declined.

“do i not hit your KPIs or something, nick? do you not trust me enough with my current abilities?” you slung your bag over your shoulder, still very offended that he would suggest such a thing, to you of all people.

you felt you had been in the team longest, alongside tony. it was so unfair to hint that he wanted something more out of you just because you had been off of your game for the past few months dealing with more personal issues in your life, like your almost-failed marriage. “mind you, i trained that kid, that peter parker, from being nothing but a friendly, neighbourhood spider-man slinging around knocking the teeth out of pickpockets, to being able to deal with world-ending threats we face as avengers. all. by. myself.”

“i know–”

“–and who was the one who pulled SHIELD out of financial ruin when we almost went under? my weapons, my designs. i wasn’t proud that we sold it off to warring countries, but it helped us stay afloat!”

“and you have helped us out, dearly.”

“and lest you forget, i was the one, the only one, willing to let you and dr. ames experiment on me, injecting that spider serum on me when you knew i had a fifty-fifty chance of screwing up my nervous system beyond repair. when you knew i would most likely end up paralysed if it didn’t work. and i was your best agent!” at this point, you knew you were overcompensating, but it had been a long day, and an even longer week. you had just wanted to go home. but you couldn’t back down. “the one who’s stuck by your side from day one!”

“i know!” nick suddenly barked, slamming the door, your only exit out, shut. “you think i don’t know that?! you think i don’t know just how much i owe you?”

he took one step forward, you took one step back. the look on his face was dangerous, a warning for you not to overstep boundaries. he was still your boss, after all. “but oscorp’s our biggest funding, you know this too. and they need…”

fury’s lips quivered. “...they need someone to test out just the limits of the abilities of this symbiote before we are allowed to use it for our own lines of defence. and norman had initially suggested parker, the boy, because…”

you understood. norman osborn was a disgusting man. “...because he’s currently the weakest one out of all of us. they want to test his limits through it.”

“yes.” fury wasn’t proud of what he was implying either, “but he’s too young, too inexperienced. and i was sure, as his mentor, you were never going to let it happen to him. you don’t admit it, but you love him. you and tony. he disagreed too.”

you couldn’t let it happen to peter. it was too dangerous, too risky. but fuck nick for also thinking that you had nothing to lose. you had a baby on the way, and a relationship just-repaired, for heaven’s sake.

but if not you, who else?

you knew natasha would have never approved. what you should have done was tell fury you would think about it. that natasha was pregnant, and she needed you relatively sane, and stable, for her and the baby.

you should have told natasha explicitly of what the experiment entailed, and why you wanted to do it. that you were merely protecting peter, and you didn’t wish for anyone else to suffer through the treatment like you were going to.

these were things you did when the person you love will inevitably have to go through the ups and many, many downs, of what the next few weeks would entail between the both of you. you had learned from past experience.

in hindsight, you also knew that even though natasha recognised your selflessness, and your sacrifice, she still would not have approved of you destroying your life to save peter’s. but in hindsight, neither of you, nor fury, would have known of just what the venom symbiote would do to you.

–

the bonding had been relatively painless, taking into account the fact that the team had to sedate you completely before allowing the symbiote to even come close to the host. fury had promised you it was the last favour he would ever draw from you before you shut your eyes, and it was only natasha’s face waiting for you at home that allowed you to drift off under the anaesthesia so willingly.

when you came to, the aches and bruises from previous fights had suddenly disappeared, and the wear and tear your bones have suffered through the years had dissipated to the point that you felt like you were at the prime of your youth again, just right after they had first injected the spider serum.

–

when you came home, you kissed natasha’s forehead first, then her cheek, then her lips, and finally, down to her swollen belly, where one of these days you hoped you had the privilege of hearing your child kick.

“how’s the pain today?” you folded your sleeves to your forearms, heading to the sink to wash your hands as natasha began plating dinner. “is he giving you heartburn again?”

natasha moaned in relief as you came to rub circles on the small of her back, untangling the knots that had accumulated in her aching body. “better. he’s learned to not give mama so much pain entering the second trimester. we all grow.”

your soft smile made the woman swoon, even after all these years. “that’s great. atta boy.”

“what about you? how was…” she had wanted to say the inhumane procedure, the cruel dilemma, they put you through, but all she said was, “...the experiment?”

“it was alright,” you reassured her. she knew you hadn’t wanted her to worry, “happy to be back home with you, that’s all.”

it was your signal to her not to push the matter further. it was you telling her that what she didn’t know, couldn’t hurt her.

–

in the next few days, however, the heightened powers and new abilities that had latched on to you from the symbiote had also brought about a new impatience, a little bit of arrogance within you.

panting as you watched the pixelated bodies of enemies taken down all around you, your heart pounded in exhilaration at the sight of them “dead”. you had never felt power like this before, and as much as the scowl on fury’s face was deepening day by day, the excitement, and hope, in your own face, began to grow. you really were stronger than ever.

and the sleek, indestructible new suit that the symbiote had formed around you when you were in battle was just a cherry on top.

–

it had all started when steve asked for a sparring session with you one day. you were usually equally matched with him in toe to toe combats, with the occasional instances where he won by distracting you with natasha’s mention.

but you had never taken him down as quickly, and easily, as this before. he had fallen with one swift lunge to his stomach, and began choking out his dinner from earlier as you stepped back.

“stop playing with me, captain, get up.” you said, when you got irritated that he told you he needed a breather.

“y-you’re the one who kicked me so hard in the guts, it really hurts, you know,” he wheezed, catching his breath.

you scoffed. since when had he become so weak?

you pulled him up against his will, and beat the shit out of him two more times before he raised the white flag desperately.

–

for lunch one afternoon, natasha had come by with her newfound skills in cooking, bearing lunch for the team. she was welcomed with open arms, except for maria, who was nursing a blackeye you had given her earlier.

as the both of you settled for a break after lunch, however, natasha finally brought up the topic that had been plaguing her mind for the past few weeks.

she had asked you about your thoughts on her returning to work, on a deskbound duty. “...and the occasional logistical support for missions, if you know what i mean.”

you paused the paperwork you had been doing in front of her, giving it a beat or two, before shaking your head. “no.”

“no…?” she hadn’t expected the firmness of the answer. while she was expecting resistance, she had thought you would be kind enough to humour her with a certainly not in the field, or just desk duty, not a flat-out no.

“no.”

“why?” she held your hand then, stopping you from returning your pen to paper, and you raised an eyebrow. natasha thought you looked slightly too annoyed for a relatively inoffensive question. “i thought you would be supportive. we agreed, when i was three months along back then, that i could return when i was ready.”

you shook her hand off, sending natasha’s heart down to a plunge. you had been more on edge, even at home recently, to the point where she was feeling she had to almost tiptoe around you on your bad days. “i don’t think i need to explain just how dangerous it would be for you, and the baby. no.”

she called your name in disbelief. “how about just paperwork? i could help you do your paperwork. then we can see each other around more often, just like we used to. i miss you at home, and it’s so terribly boring, all day, being alone.”

“natasha, i said no. you should respect my wishes on this.”

“what is so dangerous about paperwork?!” she stood then, frustrated that you were so unyielding. you never were so unreasonable like this. perhaps, natasha thought, she had gotten too used to receiving the princess treatment from you throughout the duration of your relationship. but she wondered if that was even such a bad thing. “and why are you dictating my decisions and what i want to do?!”

why in hell was she being so annoying today? you found it hard to shake the unsavoury thoughts out of your head.

just then, natasha’s phone began to ring, a new, annoyingly high-pitched frequency ringtone that immediately sent stings like sharp jabs into the nodes of your brain. you flinched, instantly forgetting what you had wanted to say to her, and dropped the pen you were holding unconsciously.

“baby…” she grabbed the phone, silenced it, and turned to you, who was panting and massaging your temples from the pain.

but you only shook your head, preventing her from coming closer. “we’ll talk about this later at home, okay? i’m not feeling so good right now.”

“do you want me to fix you anything? do you want to lie down?” she came to you, holding her hands over yours, noticing they were shaking. you visibly calmed as she ran her hands up and down your back, bringing you back to earth with her.

natasha led you to sit by the sofa again, climbing on top of you to hold you as you calmed down. it was in her embrace that the ringing finally stopped, and you could refocus.

it was also in her embrace that your mind suddenly cleared, and the remnants of the conversation just before came back to you. you had been so dismissive.

your eyes watering as you faced her, you said, “i don’t know what came over me…i was so…out of it, earlier. i don’t know why i…why i thought you didn’t deserve to come back. i’m so sorry, nat.”

she furrowed her eyebrows in worry. she wondered if it was something she needed to bring up with fury, on the effects of the experiment on you. but she piped it all down, insteading threading her fingers through your hair and pressing a comforting kiss on your lips.

“it’s okay, we’ll discuss this more at home.”

“no, i…” you needed to rectify your mistake, needed to make it up to her. you couldn't stand knowing you had hurt her feelings by underestimating her, “...i’m going to talk to fury. see what roles we have for you that’s convenient for you and our son. i’ll…”

you got up shakily then, placing natasha back down on the sofa. there were cold sweats beginning to form on your forehead. natasha pleaded for you to sit down and rest for a bit, but you were already out the door in the next second, leaving her more concerned, and confused, than ever.

–

in the tests that followed in the next few days, natasha watched, in worry and obvious agony, the way you were losing yourself more quickly than ever.

fury stood next to her behind the safety of bulletproof glass, where you were on the other side, in a climate and condition controlled environment. it was essentially SHIELD’s containment room for the most dangerous of specimens.

but she thought you looked so small, so vulnerable, in the middle of the vastness of the room, crouched with your head hung low between your legs.

“fury, we should stop. she’s clearly at the limit.” she held her hand over his on the console, but the man standing right next to fury was adamant.

she hated norman osborn for what he was about to say. “we’re so close. just a few more tests.”

he swatted hers and fury’s hand away, and pressed the button the both of them had been hovering above. the enemies came charging again, and despite your pleas for a breather, the symbiote had automatically enveloped you in the suit and began defending the both of you again.

you were exhausted. every fibre in your body hurt, and the symbiote was seeping all of your strength and willpower to do the fighting for you. you were nothing more than a bird in a cage for fury and osborn, then, you knew. and you regretted so much allowing natasha into the viewing panel for your test, in the name of her helping to fill out your paperwork for the symbiote.

“no more, please…” you begged the team above then, wanting to just collapse, and crawl into natasha’s arms perhaps, and forget about the extremely harrowing and traumatic day you just had.

but osborn wasn’t so kind. and he had pressed the button to test the symbiote’s limits once again. “please, mr. osborn!”

“stop,” you breathed as more enemies charged right in, “stop,” you had begged when the suit once again took all the spirit that you had left, “stop,” you tried a final time, when osborn tried something new this time; a high-frequency call that the lab had identified to be a potential weakness.

“i said STOP!” it wasn’t you who screamed it the last time. a much deeper, gravelly voice had taken over, along with the explosion of black tendrils emanating from your suit. the enemies were flung into pixelated darkness, but the tendrils had pierced right through them, aiming for the source of the pain; the frequency pitch.

it destroyed the sound system in the containment cell, but it was not enough. because even as fury slammed the controls to stop all the tests at once, the tendrils were still against the glass of the viewing panel, and as the symbiote spread and spread, the bulletproof glass, for the very first time since natasha had used it for the past decade or so, cracked.

osborn watched in horror as the crack began to spread, before he was quickly knocked out by natasha pushing him aside to reach the microphone.

“baby, it’s me. it’s natasha!”

the tendrils stopped the rampage on the glass momentarily. it had worked. fury instructed her to go further. “please, can you…can you get the symbiote off of the glass? we–i–want to see you, please.”

it was silent for a minute, then two, and with her heart in her mouth, natasha watched as the tendrils slowly retreated, shrinking the surface area they covered until your body was visible and it had gone back into the suit.

and natasha’s heart broke at the sight of you unconscious, at the mercy of the symbiote, and crouched into a foetal position to try to protect yourself before the explosion from earlier.

hell hath no fury like a pregnant woman, norman osborn learned that day, as he went home with more bruises and broken bones from one natasha romanoff than he had ever had to endure his whole life.

–

you no longer liked the strength, the agility, the injury-free protection, the symbiote gave. not after that test. not after it had caused you to wake up in the medical wing, with a sobbing natasha by your side begging you to stop the experiments, and let the symbiote go.

“what is happening to you?” she begged later on, as she had climbed into the bed herself and enveloped herself in your embrace. you shushed her cries and reassured her that you would fix everything. that you were alright, and you were going to be alright for her.

“i don’t know, i’m sorry.” lately, all you could say was you were sorry. it was terribly unfair to natasha.

and to make things even worse, the moment that those meaningless, obsolete words left your mouth, a hint of movement came from natasha’s belly, triggering your spider senses immediately. the baby had just kicked.

when you forced natasha to go home to rest with laura later on, for the first time in your life, you cried yourself to sleep at the failure of a partner you had once again become for your wife.

–

natasha was understandably reluctant at your request to be separated. but she was also pragmatic, and understanding that you had to do it not only for her own safety, but your peace of mind. she was too good to you, you always knew.

“it’s just for a week,” you reminded her, lips still chasing hers as the both of you fought on who would say goodbye first.

she latched on to your tongue. “i know.”

“just a week.”

“i know.”

but the both of you groaned then. “but why does it seem like forever?”

–

“fuck osborn.”

“heard.”

“we’re removing that symbiote from you,” fury looked a little unkempt, which, if you knew fury, meant he was at the edge of losing it. it was clear how much the symbiote had been affecting him as well, “i can’t lose you.”

leaning against his desk, you nodded. “please, fury.”

–

several attempts were made, with many different methods the team of SHIELD’s best scientists had tried, to remove the symbiote from your host. but obviously, without the principal team who had done the research on the symbiote itself, it was difficult to do so without oscorp’s help.

all attempts had been unsuccessful. and the symbiote inside you was growing angrier and angrier.

it broke your heart to see, that after each lashing out, each beratement and burst of anger you had at the team, they oddly seemed…afraid of you. and yet you couldn’t tell them that you yourself were drowning, that you had no control over your own emotions and actions in those bursts of anger, that it wasn’t you. fury had sworn you to secrecy.

perhaps it was for the best that you had sent natasha away. you were deathly afraid of what you would do to her if the symbiote lashed out in her presence.

you called her every morning, and she called you every night. it was a routine the both of you agreed to set up, mostly to keep yourself sane and for natasha to not worry about you too much. it broke your heart to know that one morning, she hadn’t answered your call because she was at the obstetrician, all alone. natasha hated going for her medical appointments all alone.

afterwards, you apologised profusely for missing out on your baby’s development, and had sent her a bouquet of flowers. but you still felt it was barely adequate for making it up to her. you hated yourself for hurting natasha because of your own damn actions, once again.

she was only kind enough to tell you that she was alright, and that you needed to focus on getting the symbiote out before returning to her.

–

but as the days passed with little to no success of the extraction, you were growing more frustrated, and the symbiote was growing more powerful.

natasha was approaching six months, and you hadn’t answered any of her calls for a few days now. you were afraid of what little progress you would have to tell her, and worried over what her reaction would be.

you’re a failure. you are always going to be a failure. she will hate you, and she will regret even getting to know someone like you, marrying you, being the mother of your child. you cannot be the one she deserves. you don’t deserve anyone. except us. us.

the voices weren’t your own. you should have known.

“fury, please, please,” you begged, barging into the meeting room he was in, barking orders at the scientists to try harder, to think of solutions faster. they were clearly at their wits’ end too.

“please, call oscorp,” you got on your knees for him, in front of everyone, grabbing his hands in desperation, “call osborn here. i’ll do anything, i’ll beg him too, to get this thing off of me.”

“you know norman’s not going to stop once he has you. he’ll turn you into something even worse if we let him have you.”

“please!” you were crying then, feeling like a child begging their parents for an unachievable, stupid, stupid dream. only this time, you were begging for your life back.

–

“i’m scared, nick. of what this will do to me, of what i will become.”

nick had brought you aside later that evening. it was in his eyes that heartbreak was evident; he knew all too well what he had done to you. and he had fucked up, truly, this time.

“i’m so sorry.”

“please, try again, can you try again?” you were in the room where they had conducted the tests; the containment cell. you knew fury was slightly afraid of being in the same room with you all alone, and there was a reason he had brought you there. you could get into the cell if you lost control.

he shook his head. “i just–we just–don’t have anything…”

“i cannot become the symbiote, nick. i have natasha, and the child, at home. i can’t go like this, please.”

you were hunched over the console, grabbing at it desperately to stop the symbiote from coming out, from enveloping you in your shared rage at fury’s insistence, and killing the man right before you. beads of cold perspiration drenched your entire being, and the look in your eyes was one the man had never seen in all the years he had worked with you.

he could only shake his head, and leave the room. outside the compound, fury screamed into the vast nothingness of the night, exasperated in his futility and your predicament.

–

but natasha had had enough of your pulling back, of you pushing her away. she was not about to lose you again. she had almost lost you to wanda then, she was not going to lose you to a symbiote now.

and as she arrived at the compound and discovered that it was eerily dark, and empty, the first person that she hounded was fury.

he apologised to her as well, over the phone, and told her that he had instructed everyone to go home early for the day. the avengers were told to find accommodation elsewhere. something about a routine deep-cleaning going on for the night.

it was suspicious the moment he told her you were still inside, however. still, she braved the recurring doubts in the back of her mind, stole her old equipment back when she was still on active mission duty, and braved through the compound.

“just me and you baby, don’t give mama such a hard time, okay?” she even winced, when the baby kicked right as she rounded a corner.

and you admired your wife, adored her, even, for still braving through six months of pregnancy and trying to find you in an almost-abandoned compound. the compound was never empty. the lights were never flickering, and you were never alone just with her in that entire building.

but when she carefully opened the door to where you were, still hunched over the same console she had smashed norman osborn’s face against just a few weeks ago, you wholeheartedly wished she was the last person to find you in that way.

the shock in her breath was evident, with the number of dead bodies around you then, and the distinct stench of blood in the air. you were shaking, breathing haphazard, as you tried centering yourself not to hurt anyone else. three breaths in, two breaths out, you always taught natasha in her panic attacks. now, you struggled to even manage it yourself.

“baby…?” the woman didn’t want to believe what she was seeing.

you shook your head painfully. why, of all people, why did it have to be her? the gun was aimed right at you, you knew, and you struggled to bring yourself up to even face her. your efforts ended with you falling right onto the console again.

“...tell me what’s going on. tell me what’s wrong, we can still get through this together.” you absolutely despised the fear in her voice.

instead, all you could choke out was, “natasha…”

you finally turned to face her. natasha dropped the gun at the symbiote already engulfing half of your face, milky white eyes replacing the eye patches in your mask, sharp, elongated teeth forming around your mouth area. the symbiote had clearly gained full control.

in the one eye that was still yours, you were tearful, as you begged her, “...please, get out of here.”

a/n: does this call for a part 2?

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someobliviousgirl · 10 months

Text

36 hours | natasha romanoff

synopsis: set between civil war and black widow, your love for natasha, and her patience for your return, is tested beyond what the both of you had ever gone through before.

natasha romanoff x spider!reader

word count: 3.9k words

a/n: this is a bit messy but i felt the need to draw a general timeline for the characters of is there someone else? and your sweater. i admit i have grown a sort of attachment for the two from there, but i also wanted to know if you guys want more stories / blurbs / headcannons for these two, or whether i should try new things. let me know?

masterlist

36 hours. 36 hours to bring in a known fugitive, a possible terrorist, and his dear accomplice steve rogers. it was barely enough time.

and here tony was, making you wait outside of a window of an apartment in queens, waiting for the perfect time to, in his words, swing in and show the kid what he’s made of. you remembered telling him that you would show him what you were made of if he didn’t make it quick.

you dared to sneak a look into the bedroom the moment tony managed to sneak the kid away. he was barely fifteen. but the impressive speed that he caught his jumbled, homemade suit with when tony opened the attic door showed skill no normal fifteen year old possessed.

“you’re spider-boy?”

“...spider-man.” the boy replied, and at tony’s snap of his fingers, you slipped in, standing behind him for support as the boy gawked at your entrance.

“mm,” tony remarked, “this is our spider. you see her in a onesie like yours?”

the boy took time to rake his eyes through your advanced technical suit, crafted through years of precision and “user”-testing in the fights and missions you had managed to get injured from. every flaw was covered, every inch of space for injury accounted for.

you looked past tony to the video of the boy saving a car from crashing onto a bus, before swinging away at lightning speed. “how’d you figure out the perfect formula for the tensile strength?”

“i…”

“i like the goggles too,” you snatched the suit away from tony’s amused smirk, “good attempt at keeping the focus. sensory overload, right?”

the boy nodded. “you’re just like me. you get me.”

“i get you.” you replied, “but you’re in dire need of an upgrade.”

you stepped back this time, and watched as tony began his over-explanation, oversimplification, of the situation at hand. the kid watched with wide eyes, clinging on to every word he said, while you rubbed the material of his homemade suit between your fingers, wondering how you were going to teach him every single upgrade and function of the new suit you had designed just for him in 36 hours.

36 hours to capturing steve and bucky, and 36 hours to fixing things with natasha.

you couldn’t wait.

“i still think tony’s going a little overboard,” natasha muttered to you, arms crossed at the back of the quinjet.

you approached, the low hum of the jet preventing you from hearing her clearly earlier. she continued, “he’s ridden with guilt. he’s not thinking clearly.”

“but he’s still right.” you sat next to her, the atmosphere tense. you had been having this argument even since the idea had popped into tony’s head. “and you’re still here.”

“because i think the other side is more mistaken, not because he’s right.”

“steve is the one going overboard. he’s blinded by the love he has for his friend.”

“...weren’t you blinded by love before?” natasha accused, “for me, all those years ago?”

you were stunned for a moment. natasha knew she made a valid point. but then, you reaffirmed, “it’s different. steve made a mistake, we shouldn’t be the ones deciding who lives and who dies. i should’ve forced him to sign the accords when i had the chance.”

the sight of the airport drew nearer and nearer. in front of you, you saw peter fidget nervously in his new upgraded suit.

–

you were wrapping webs round and round the suddenly enlarged ant-man, one of his hands gripping rhodey. with an agreement for peter to strike ant-man’s legs, the giant soon fell to his knees with his entire lower half webbed, groaning when the war machine broke free from his hold.

in your peripheral vision, you saw natasha running after steve and bucky, her words ringing in your mind as you instructed peter to finish off ant-man from getting back up again. a thumbs-up was sent his way when he did, the smile on his face reaching his ears.

weren't you blinded by love before?

you hoped she would do the right thing, as you returned your attention to helping tony take down wanda and clint.

but even as you fought, her words kept coming back to your head, and by the time steve and bucky were mere seconds away from the quinjet, you made up your mind to zip to natasha to check in on her.

weren’t you blinded by love before?

you watched in horror as she stunned the black panther, him spasming and dropping to his knees. you watched with even more horror as she let the fugitives go, steve helping bucky climb into the quinjet and starting the engine. when steve shut the latch of the jet, he made eye contact with you hanging off the hangar, and nodded in thanks. he knew you were letting him go, too.

mostly, you were even more horrified at your automatic reaction to catch t’challa from lunging at her, forcing him to the ground as his claws barely missed her face. in consequence, his own claws tore through your suit instead, the vibranium stronger than the nano-technology defences you had designed the suit with.

you seethed in pain as the claws came back doused with blood, the burning on your back sure to leave a definite scar as it hit the cold air.

you struck a web to his face, before throwing him off of you and quickly webbing him to the wall of the hangar.

natasha felt your hands shaking her just moments later, still in shock that you had jumped in to help, and save her.

“the webs are not going to hold him for long, nat,” you said when her eyes managed to refocus on you, “and you just obstructed justice. you need to go, now.”

“i…i couldn’t let them…” she stuttered.

“i know, i know,” you assured her. behind you, t’challa was breaking loose. “i’ll stay here and explain everything to them. but you need to run, and hide, for a while. tony told me he was planning to send anyone helping them to the raft. i can’t let you go there.”

“what about you?” her hands tried to stop the blood seeping through her fingers from your back, but you were firm.

“i’ll be okay. i’ll come find you after i’ve settled everything here and it’s safe for you to come back.”

“promise…?” natasha knew you were right, but her heart was saying otherwise. how could she possibly bear to leave you behind and deal with her consequences? how could she go anywhere without you by her side? how would she know you’ll come find her again?

“i promise. i love you.” you left room for no argument.

she was gone by the time the black panther broke free, the ghost of the feeling of her lips against yours still replaying in your mind.

–

ross’ face was possibly on the verge of exploding, listening to tony’s recounting of events and your, arguably non-convincing reasoning, of why chasing natasha would be a fool’s errand.

“her hand slipped. she was supposed to stun bucky, hit t’challa.”

“that’s not what t’challa said. and that’s why you’re handcuffed to the table now.” ross called through your bluff, “you’re lucky you’re not sitting in a cell in the raft at all.”

the chains against your handcuff clinked the table as you sighed, waiting for your own course of beration and punishment from the team.

somewhere out there, you hoped natasha was safe, and that she had successfully escaped ross’ team sent out to arrest her.

–

years ago, a few nights after you and natasha had made your relationship official, she had asked you where you would live, if you could live anywhere in the world.

“norway,” you replied.

“why?”

“i don’t know. seems like a nice place to be. it’s calm, quiet, relatively crime-free.”

“then you would be out of a job, you know?” natasha teased, her heart skipping a beat as you let out a laugh.

“i’ll find something else,” you assured her, “i’ll survive.”

you turned to her then, prompting the same question she had asked you. she had replied, “anywhere with you.”

–

now, you were currently hinging on the sole fact that all roads and clues pointed you to her being in norway.

it had been six months since the events of the team’s civil war, a week since you had begun using a fake passport to get on flights, and three hours since you have been driving along the gravel road where her trailer was supposed to be.

truth be told, you were nervous. you were afraid of natasha’s safety, and you worried whether she was blaming herself for losing the family she had grown to love in the past few years. and selfishly, you were mostly nervous if she had forgotten you and started a new life altogether.

but natasha no longer lived in the trailer by the time you got there; you found out upon hiding and attacking the first person that entered the trailer that wasn’t her. when he choked out bitterly that she had left just an hour before you arrived with another woman, your heart sank.

they had boarded a jet and flew off to find someone. he had been helping her throughout her being in hiding. he bothered to mention that she talked about you all the time. he told you that she was losing more hope of you coming back day by day

doesn’t matter. she has someone else now.

“is she…is the girl she’s with…” you stuttered for the first time in your life. the man across from you removed the ice pack he was using to nurse the bruise you gave him.

“i don’t know. didn’t seem like it, though.”

you nodded, at a loss of what to do. now what? you came to find her, she’s gone, you don’t know where or how else to look for. and she likely has someone else now, too.

what if natasha didn’t want you back?

mason looked at you then, almost in pity. you felt very bad for punching him to get information out of him.

“for what it’s worth, with the technology you have in your suit, i’m sure i can help link it to the approximate whereabouts of the aircraft.”

you looked up to him with hope, nervousness bubbling in your stomach again. “a-are you…?”

“fuck it, i’m sick of natasha bemoaning about missing you everyday. i’m going to help you find her.”

natasha sat by the oak-coloured bench as she stared across the table to yelena, equally donning a new getup as she. downing yet another bottle of beer, she wondered if yelena deserved to know about you, or whether she was only putting you in more danger. but then, she wondered selfishly, if you were even bothered to come find her at all.

it’s been six months after all. six months without her must have been pretty peaceful for you, with all the storms and misfortune she felt she had brought into your life. maybe it was for the better that you had chased her away. maybe you had wanted her to go, so you could move on with the life you had always wanted for yourself.

fuck. the alcohol was making her want to cry. everything about you made her want to cry. natasha missed you so much. the coldness of the spot in bed beside her each night, one less coffee mug she shared each morning, the empty space beside her when she needed someone to hold her.

she never knew how dependent she had gotten on you, until you had to be separated. you have truly changed her, inside and out, and while natasha could complain about it otherwise, deep down in her heart she knew she would not have it any other way.

how long more did she have to wait?

yelena gave her a weird look, and natasha excused herself to the bathroom. she couldn’t let her sister see her like this.

but in the five minutes that she was gone, natasha came back to an empty bench, with the shop she had bought the beers from deserted and the shutters shut. it was as if the owner had suddenly upped and ran.

upped and ran. fuck. they found her.

grabbing the gun holstered to her side, natasha called out slowly, “yelena…?”

silence. “yelena?”

nothing again. her aircraft was still there, and when she approached slowly, wary of her surroundings and any widows, the crunch her boot made with a branch underneath triggered the loudest scream she had ever heard.

in the next second, a blur of two figures landed before her, wrestling to get the upper hand. yelena was screaming with all her might, and above her…above her, natasha could recognise that suit anywhere.

it had her initials carved in the inner lining of the heart area, after all.

“where is she?!” your voice sounded raspier, deeper than she remembered. you sounded tired and wary, too.

but the hands pinning yelena down said otherwise, your strength overpowering hers as yelena tried desperately to free herself from under you. “where is what–asshole–!”

“where is natasha!” you pressed down on her neck, and at the choke yelena let out, the switch finally flipped in natasha.

she screamed your name, from metres away, and at the immediate recognition, you faltered, and shot your gaze to her direction. she knew you couldn’t see her clearly under the low light of the broken street lamps, but it was her.

the next thing you knew, though, the woman under you had wrenched a hand free and shot you in the neck with a widow bite. you cursed at the sting from the shock, but then all at once, darkness ensued. it definitely wasn’t the same widow bites natasha had designed over the years.

“you nearly killed my wife, yelena!”

“how was i supposed to know that was your wife? i didn't even know you had a wife!”

when you woke to, it was yelena, the woman who nearly tried killing you, that was by your side. when the world stopped spinning for a while, you recognised that you were in the very aircraft mason had told you about.

“hi,” you groaned lowly, fingers reaching for the spot that the blonde had shot the widow bite at. it was wrapped in a bandage.

“welcome back, my sister-in-law.”

this time, she offered you a hand, and you took it gratefully to shake it. “sorry i shot you earlier. to be fair, you did try to kill me too.”

“fair game.”

the door slid open then, and at the sight of natasha entering, holding onto a pile of makeshift medication and bandages, your heart managed to stop beating for a while, if possible.

her hair was longer, face a little more tired, worry lines etched into skin that was not so taut anymore. but still, she was your natasha, and she never looked more ethereal than in that moment.

yelena had to step out of the room at the ferocity and aggressiveness that natasha engulfed you with, the squeals that left her sister’s mouth one that she would never have imagined hearing.

“you came back, you came back!” natasha said in between tears of joy, as you hugged her even tighter. the nights with her pillows never replaced her body pressed against yours.

“of course, i promised you,” you reassured, “i’ll come find you.”

“i thought–i thought–you’d given up, or i should give up,” she said between hiccups, sobs leaving her now at the incredulity of it all, “i thought you finally realised you were better off without me and–”

“nat,” you pulled her away to press a kiss firmly to her lips, “i would never do that.”

“i know. but you were gone so long and i waited. i waited and waited and…it was a long six months.”

you laughed, letting her lips chase yours once again. “it really was.”

when the two of you finally settled down and came back to earth, you snuck a glance at yelena, who you currently wished you had met in better circumstances, rather than nearly killing her to get to natasha.

“guess i didn’t get on the best footing for meeting your sister, huh?” you whispered to natasha.

she nudged your side, prompting you to smile at yelena. she gave you a weird look, but awkwardly smiled back. “yeah, and you know what’s even crazier?”

“what?”

“you’re about to meet my parents, too.”

you sat awkwardly beside natasha at the dinner table in melina’s house, shifting uncomfortably as yelena just burst out screaming that the “family” natasha had always told you was made up of red room agents, was always real to her.

you thought she looked like a child throwing a tantrum. then, you bit the inside of your cheek and berated yourself for thinking so, because yelena of all people, was a woman who never did get a childhood at all. she deserved at least this.

under the table, you felt natasha hold your hand for support. you squeezed it gently. she’s got you.

you soothingly wrapped around her trembling fingers, still. because as strong as natasha was, biting back and spitting at her “parents” then, she was still hurt, and a teardrop had fallen to the side of her face that she had quickly wiped away. the teardrop no one would have noticed, except you, who had been wiping almost all of her tears away in the years that you had been together.

later on, when your spider-senses overloaded with the impending arrival of dreykov’s men, while natasha and melina argued over their plan to finally take him down, you found it hard to ignore the crying coming from yelena’s room. and you felt even worse for what you were going to subject her to later.

–

natasha entrusted you to deal with taskmaster, while she handled the big man himself. you were about to argue, fearing for her safety and protection, but with a warning glance from her mother on your possibility of doubt over natasha’s own skills, you kept quiet. you had to trust your wife.

but what natasha failed to tell you, however, was that taskmaster was more competent, and dangerous, than all the other widows involved. she had told you that they would be difficult, sure, but you hadn’t expected difficult to include you struggling to catch your breath, making up new moves on the fly to prevent the human weapon on copying your combat style almost perfectly. they had used your agility and swiftness against you, and you were convinced that had they had your webs, you would almost certainly be done for, too.

“i don’t want to kill you,” you wheezed as you managed to sneak a move to tumble them to the ground, but the way in which they glared back at you and aimed a launcher right at your face, told you all that you needed to know. the feeling wasn’t mutual.

with the help of natasha’s father in finally locking the taskmaster in a cell momentarily, you took the opportunity to find her, even as explosions rang through your ears and the shaking of the base showing the impending signs of doom.

–

you held her as the both of you free fell through the skies, natasha’s fingers holding on to you as if you would disappear from her once again.

“i’ve got you,” you murmured into her skin. she nodded slowly, telling you she understood.

you deployed the parachute when you reached closer to the ground. natasha had gotten very good at getting over her fear of heights, as she latched on. years ago, she was still screaming in fear each time you brought her swinging through the city after your dates and missions together. now, only a small exhale left her lips as you landed her softly, safely, on the ground. you smiled to yourself at the change you only noticed now.

“i still have…i have to…” she gestured towards dreykov’s daughter, the taskmaster, behind you. you wish you had known.

you nodded understandingly. natasha was kind, kinder than anyone you knew. she was just like that. “go. do what you have to do to set her free. i’ll stay behind, in case you need help.”

“after she almost knocked you out?” a hint of a playful smirk, you jabbed her side lovingly.

“i was pulling my punches! you told me not to kill her.”

natasha snuck a kiss on your cheek. “i know. my hero.”

–

you and natasha exchanged quiet smiles throughout the ride back to ross’ prison, or custody, wherever it was. it didn’t matter. she had taken down the demons of her past, and she had gotten you back. you had found her, and you were never letting her out of your sight ever again.

weren’t you blinded by love before? nobody else mattered. not what ross had to say, not what tony had screamed at you for, not what steve or anyone else tried to convince you to do. being blinded by love for natasha was never a bad thing for you.

“i never told you, but i like your new suit,” you whispered, holding her hands through your handcuffs.

she hid the blush appearing on her cheeks. “i know. your hands said enough.”

“and your family too. your dad’s a character, and your mom’s really strong. stronger than me, that’s for sure.”

“and yelena? my sister?” she found a way to interlace her fingers with yours, to the disgust of ross’ agents. you didn’t care.

“i like her the most. she reminds me of the best parts of myself. she’s humble, kind, funny, and sensitive, not in a bad way. and she’s like you, headstrong and stubborn.” natasha suddenly felt you slipping something into her fingers. a piece of paper. she kept it skilfully from the prying eyes of the agents in the car.

“just the way you like it.”

“you bet,” you leaned back, feet “accidentally” kicking ross and causing a momentary distraction for his guards to aim their guns at you all at once. natasha took it as her signal to open the note.

there, scrawled in yelena’s handwriting, was an address that she had picked from the many safehouses you had so many years before. it was in new york, not far from where you and natasha lived. you had slipped her a burner phone before she left, too, as you informed natasha in your cells later on.

“i know it’s all real for you, too,” you reassured the redhead, “and i never got to apologise for leaving you, and your avengers family, for so long. i wanted to make it up to you. we’ll make sure yelena is never far, and you will always have her by your side from now on.”

natasha felt her cheeks hurting from the smile she was sporting. “you know, i have spent my whole life trying to go home. to go back to how things were, to undo all that i have done in the past. and i managed to do just that, just a few days ago. take down dreykov, come back to my family, go back to my childhood home. but somehow, all of that was not home anymore. at least not the home i envisioned myself to go back to.”

“and what is the home you envision now?”

“you. i come back to your arms, and it is home now. nothing else compares.”

your fingers ghosted the wedding band on your ring finger subconsciously, scrunching your eyes and trying hard to fight back the tears from falling as you listened to her declaration.

36 hours or six months. the timing never mattered. you and natasha would find each other, and come home to each other's love, regardless.

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someobliviousgirl · 10 months

Text

Live Bait

Part 2 of Rescue by Lauren Daigle

Summary: After spending time with Maria and Natasha in Norway, they've decided to bring you to the Avengers Compound. Unfortunately, your life remains complicated and wild as you try to navigate living with the rest of the Avengers and the possibility of meeting your father.

Relationship: blackhill x daughter!reader, Winter Solider x daughter!reader, Avenger x reader (platonic)

Warning: mention of death, mention of Red Rauma/HYDRA abuse, anxiety, kidnapping, injuries, gun shot, gambling, angst with fluff,

Word: 9.3k

Sneaking back into the States was something out of an action movie and a bucket list item you didn’t know you had. Your face had to be hidden to avoid facial recognition from nearby cameras and if you had to speak with anyone you mimicked an English accent. It was high stakes but it was so much fun. Finally, you landed on the helipad of the Avengers compound. Your body was shaking with excitement and nervousness as Natasha and Maria completed their post-landing routine. “How are you doing kid?” Natasha asked. You knew you couldn’t lie to her right now. Your poker face wouldn’t be convincing.

“I think I’m going to throw up,” you admitted. Your leg was shaking, bouncing up and down. Natasha stood up from the copilot seat and walked over to you. She knelt in front of you, holding out her hands with her palms facing up. It was a new addition to your relationship with the Black Widow. You would place your hands on top of hers and you would keep them there until your emotions were under control. It helped you more than the breathing techniques. It grounded you. Your hands were clammy when you placed them on top of Natasha’s.

“Tell me what’s going on,” you liked the feeling of her hands. They were warm, calloused, and rough against yours.

“I-” you stopped and gave yourself a moment to collect your thoughts. “What if they don’t like me?” You whispered. She smiled, rubbing her thumb across the back of your hand. “And I want them to like me but I know I can be difficult,” you made yourself giggle.

“They are going to love you and if they don’t I’ll punch them,” you smiled, and your leg stopped bouncing.

“She may have a better punch than you, darling,” you looked at Maria. She was walking over to you. “They’ve been very excited to meet you.”

“My sister and best friend will be the first people you meet and you’ll meet everyone else when you are ready, okay?” You nodded, taking your hands off of hers.

“Okay,” you sighed. “Sorry about that. That was-”

“You better not say stupid,” she pinched your sides playfully. You giggled and stood up, walking with the couple to the ramp. The New York sun shined on the ramp and at the bottom was a blonde and a brunette You let out a shaky breath, put your best poker face on, and followed them. You stayed behind the couple, letting Natasha hug the blonde and Maria greeted the man.

“So,” the blonde said, you were surprised by the thicker Russian accent. “You’re my niece.” “I am,” you said, keeping your eye contact with her. Her eyes were a similar green to Natasha’s. “So you’re my aunt.” She smiled, and a fondness grew in her eyes at the title.

“I am,” she repeated. “My sister says you are kind of a badass,” your body heated up at the compliment. You looked at your mom.

“Are you talking about me behind my back?” She rolled her eyes, throwing her arm around my shoulders.

“I like bragging about my kid, sue me,” you smiled, finding yourself leaning in her embrace. “So my sister is Yelena and that handsome devil is Clint.” Clint rolled his eyes.

“You’re an idiot,” he deadpanned but his face softened when he looked at you. “It’s very nice to meet you. Why don’t we show you around?” The compound was amazing! You found the place massive compared to the RV you were living in. You were a little upset it took Natasha this long to show you this place. There was so much room for activity, you loved the gun range. The whole training facility was your favorite.

“Where is everyone?” Maria asked when you reached the end of the tour. You sat at the kitchen counter while Natasha made you a peanut butter sandwich. Clint sighed, pouring a cup of coffee.

“We wanted to create a divergent to ensure you guys got back into the States safely,” Natasha glanced at her friend. “They took the bait and the team is hoping they get lucky. They’ve been gone for 5 days.” Your mom placed the sandwich in front of you. You were hungry but the idea of people you didn’t know fighting to keep you safe made your stomach twist.

“They’re gonna be okay, right?” You questioned.

“Yeah,” Natasha nodded. “They’ll be okay.” She wasn’t lying. You sighed, taking a bite of your sandwich.

“Nemnogo krasnyy (little red),” Yelena said. You titled your head when no one acknowledged her. You pointed to yourself. She nodded.

“What did you call me?” You questioned.

“Little Red. You like?” It wasn’t the worst nickname you’ve heard so you nodded. “Do you want to play in the shooting range?” Your eyes grew wide.

“Yes!” You jumped off the chair. “Let’s go.” You followed your aunt to the training area.

“She better be in one piece, Belova” Natasha’s voice called after you as you both broke out in a run.”

After dinner with Clint and Yelena, Natasha found you lying on the couch with Maria. You were resting your head on Maria’s lap, watching a movie. The Black Widow slipped next to her girlfriend. She couldn’t help but smile at the sight. It wasn’t under the most ideal circumstances that her family was together, there was still a real threat to her and your life. But she was happy to have this time together. You shifted on the couch and pulled the blanket over you. “Do you want to go to bed, dorogoy (sweetheart)?” Yelena put you through an intense workout, you almost fell asleep at dinner. It was nice to see you smile and joke around with Clint and Yelena. She was excited to see you interact with the rest of the team. You groaned, leaning into Maria more.

“Wanna watch the movie,” you whispered. Maria chuckled.

“We can pause it and watch it tomorrow,” she ran her fingers through your hair. “Yelena put you through the wringer, didn’t see.” You sighed, flipping on your back to look up at the couple.

“It was fun,” you said. “But my body hurts.” Natasha laughed, pausing the movie.

“Come on, buttercup,” the Black Widow stood up and pulled you off her girlfriend. “It’s time to go to bed,” you nodded, rubbing your eyes.

“Night Maria. See you in the morning,” she said goodnight to you and you followed the Black Widow to the room they deemed as yours. You crawled into bed and Natasha pulled the blanket over you.

“Are you still nervous to meet the rest of the team?” Natasha watched you think it over. You sat up and put your hands out with palms facing up. Without hesitation, Natasha placed her hands on top of yours.

“What happens if the Avengers can’t catch him?” You asked instead. “Will I be hiding for the rest of my life?”

“That is a big ‘What if’ because we will stop him,” it was a hefty promise to make but Natasha wasn’t going to stop until you were safe. “You won’t be hiding forever. Once he is dealt with, you can do whatever you want. Your life will go back to normal,” you nodded but Natasha knew there was more on your mind. She squeezed your hands. “Come on, what else is on your mind?” You sighed.

“What is going to happen to him?” You asked.

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “Fury will probably want to speak with him to try to get information on HYDRA but after that, I’m not sure.” Natasha was conflicted. There were moments during training or missions when Natasha saw the man behind the monster HYDRA created. You nodded, removing your hands from hers. You laid back down and Natasha fixed the blanket around you. “Remember what I said, okay? I’ll be your shelter and armor. There is no distance I won’t cover to get you.” She pushed a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Okay,” you whispered. “Night Mom,” Natasha smiled. She was never going to get tired of you calling her that.

“Goodnight sweetheart,” the Black Widow kissed the top of your head. She stayed until your breathing slowed and you were fast asleep. She hoped you didn’t notice how scared and worried she was. Her small family was finally whole again. If she were to lose you when she just got you, she worried who she would become to get you back. But she couldn’t let those thoughts consume her. Right now you are asleep and safe. She only focused on that.

The smell of cinnamon woke Natasha up. She felt around in the bed and found the spot next to her empty and cold. Figuring it was her girlfriend in the kitchen, she got out of bed, put on when of Maria’s long sleeves, and made her way to the kitchen. Maria was engrossed in making French toast she didn’t hear Natasha walk up behind her. The Black Widow put her arms around her waist. “I could have cooked, baby,” she kissed her girlfriend’s shoulder. Maria leaned back in her girlfriend’s embrace.

“Fury woke me up,” she flipped the French Toast that was in the pan. “The team got back late last night. He wants to have a meeting.” Natasha stood next to her, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

“Are they okay?” Maria nodded.

“The usual cuts and bruises but they are good,” but the sigh Maria let out worried Natasha. “According to Fury, there is some tension between Stark and Rogers.” That wasn’t new. The due always seemed to be getting underneath each other’s skin. Natasha frowned.

“Did he elaborate?” Maria shook her head. “Cool,” she deadpanned, sipping on her coffee. “When’s the meeting?”

“20 minutes,” she glanced towards your room. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted her to be there.” Natasha sighed.

“I’ll go wake her up and ask her,” she kissed Maria’s cheek and sat the coffee mug on the counter. When she opened your door, the sight made her smile. You were still asleep, on your stomach with your arms hugging the pillow you were using. Natasha knelt next to you, a gentle hand on your back. “Sweetheart, wake up,” you didn’t. “Wake up.” You groaned, opening your eyes. You blinked a few times, your mind and eyes still laced with sleep.

“Morning,” you mumbled, stretching.

“Morning,” she smiled. “So I know it’s early but the team went back last night and there is a meeting in about 20 minutes. Do you want to be there?” You blinked at her, giving your brain a chance to process the information.

“Do you want me to be there?” You questioned and sat up. Natasha sat down in front of you.

“I want whatever you want. You can come or go back to bed,” you bite your lip and pick at the edge of the blanket.

“Can I stay here?” You whispered. The Black Widow nodded.

“Of course,” she smiled. “Maria is making breakfast so eat when you are ready.” You nodded with a smile but Natasha could see that you were hiding something. She wasn’t going to force you to talk and hoped you would come to her when you were ready. So, she stood up, kissed you on top of your head, and walked to the door. Before she left, she glanced at you one more time. You were lying back down, pulling the covers back over you. Natasha heard you let out a small sigh.

Gently, she closed the door behind her and rejoined Maria in the kitchen. A stack of French Toast was made. “She’s not coming,” Maria looked up from the report she was reading as Natasha took her coffee and a piece of French Toast from the top stack.

“Is she okay?” Natasha shrugged.

“I don’t know. I’m worried this is happening all too fast,” Maria nodded and closed the report. She rounded the kitchen island to stand in front of her.

“It’s gonna be a tough adjustment, we live with a cast of characters,” the redhead smiled. “But she is resilient and strong, just like her mama.”

When she walked into the conference room, it was thick with tension. Steve and Tony were on opposite ends of the table. “Romanoff, Hill, it’s good to see you both states side. Fury said. She looked at the team. No visible injuries. They looked tired, hell even Vision looked exhausted.

“Glad to be back,” she sat down next to Wanda. “What do we know?” Maria sat down next to her, placing a hand on her thigh.

“Yesterday the team had the opportunity to capture the Winter Solider,” Fury said.

“That dude can punch,” Pietro said, rubbing his jaw. Oh, Natasha knew the strength behind the Winter Solider.

“But it was not a complete failure,” Fury pulled up a picture of the Winter Solider. Natasha saw Steve fidget out of the corner of her name. “We have a name. His real name is James Buchanan Barnes,” Natasha’s head snapped to look at Steve but he refused to look at her. “Which until last night, we thought was killed in action in World War II.” Her head was spinning. She couldn’t believe it.

“Steve-”

“Did you know?” The question stumped her. Of course, she didn’t know. “I mean you could have known and not told us,” Steve finally looked at her and she hated the look in his eyes, like she was the enemy. “You have a daughter that we knew nothing about.” Her jaw clenched.

“Watch your tone, Rogers,” Yelena threatened.

“Oh cut the shit, Capsicle,” Tony said. “Romanoff lying is no surprise. She and Belova were trained for that but what what is your excuse?” The conversation shifted away from the Black Widow to the billionaire and soldier.

“This is different,” Steve tried to defend himself.

“Bullshit!” Tony slammed his hand on the desk. Maria squeezed Natasha’s leg when she flinched from the noise. “We find out your long-lost buddy is alive and the whole team is ecstatic for you. Turns out I overhear you and birdie,” he pointed to Sam. “That your buddy killed my parents and you weren’t going to tell me.” Oh. OH. The tension between the two now was explained. Natasha saw Steve clench his jaw. “FRIDAY, play it.” Fury stepped out of the way as the screen behind him began to play a video. It was raining and a car slammed into a pool soon a motorcycle pulled up. The Winter Solider rounded the driver’s side where Howard Stark was on the ground. He beat the man and placed him back into the car. The same fate was met for Maria. The video ended and the room was silent. “So,” Tony broke it. “What do we do now?” Natasha found it odd that after all these years the video of the ‘car accident’ surfaced but she needed to keep the team together, it was their only shot of stopping him.

“I didn’t know, Steve,” she kept her voice steady even though she was sure he could hear her heart pounding. Her green eyes were trained on the table. God, she wanted to avoid this conversation. “In there and when I was assigned to missions, he was Winter. Sometimes I could see the man he was before HYDRA got to him but then they would reset him and it would be gone.”

“Reset him?” Rhodey questioned.

“Reset him how?” Sam added. That godforsaken chair. Natasha could still see it, hear his screams in her ears. Maria gave her leg another squeeze, it was the only thing keeping her in this room.

“Sestra,” she looked at Yelena. Her green eyes showed her concern. Natasha sighed.

“It’s how they keep him under their control,” she looked at Steve. “Let me guess, he didn’t recolonize you,” the soldier nodded.

“He didn’t even recognize his name.” Her eyes went back to the table.

“Because he’s Soldat to them,” the name tasted vile on her tongue. “HYDRA has this chair. They would strap him to it and electrify him,” she barely heard Tony let out a quiet, ‘Jesus’. “If we went on a mission on Saturday, he would get reset on Sunday and in training on Monday he would have no idea who I was,” Natasha tore her eyes away from the table to look at Tony. “I am deeply sorry for what happened to your parents but it wasn’t him. Someone made him do that, he had no choice.”

“None of us did,” Yelena added on. Natasha saw Clint whisper something in her ear. The blonde nodded.

“So what do we do?” Wanda questioned. “They can’t stay in hiding forever and the longer he is out there more people are going to get hurt.” She was right. You were his mission and that meant he would stop at nothing to complete it.

“The most logical option is to set up a trap,” Vision said, leaning back and folding his hands. “So we can have control over all variables.” The Black Widow placed her hand on top of Maria’s.

“He won’t come out again unless it’s believable,” Rhodey added on. “It has to involve his target.” You. You offered to be bait but that was out of misplaced trust and anger.

“Sedlala by ona eto (Would she do it)?” Yelena asked.

“Ty khochesh’, chtoby ona eto sdelala (Do you want her to do it)?” Clint clarified. Natasha’s gut instinct was to say, hell no, and they could find another way. But she that every option would be covered.

“English would be preferred,” Tony rolled his eyes.

“I’d like to come up with another option before we use her,” she said, cringing at the way she said ‘use’. It made her think about her time at the Red Room. The Windows were seen as objected to being used. She sighed. “I understand you are putting your life on the line for a child you haven’t met yet.”

“Yet?” Same questioned, smiling. “So we can meet her.” Natasha nodded.

“Yes soon,” she said. “But thank you I should have said that sooner.”

“We are family, Nat,” Wanda looked at her then to Tony and Steve. “Sometimes we keep things from each other because we think it’s for the best but at the end of the day, we will always be there for each other.” Tony huffed.

“Yeah, yeah, put the witchy powers down, kid.” Tony stood up and made his way over to Steve, holding out his hand. “Let’s go save him, okay?” Steve looked at the extended hand to him then Tony’s face.

“I’m sorry,” he took it. “I should have told you as soon as I found out.” The billionaire shrugged.

“It’s in the past, let’s work towards a brighter future.” The previous tension seemed to evaporate and Fury informed them that they’ll have a meeting soon to come up with a plan. But the team deserved to rest. One by one they began to trickle out but Natasha stayed sitting, she heard the unspoken words Fury wanted to say.

Soon it was Natasha, Maria, and Fury left. The director smiled the closest thing to a smile. “I’d like to meet her,” he said. “If she’s comfortable with that.”

“FRIDAY, where is she?” Natasha asked the AI.

“She has gotten out of bed and is watching cartoons,” FRIDAY advised. “Should I inform her that you would like to see her?”

“We’ll come to her,” Maria said. “Let her know we’ll have a guest.”

A guest. That was all the AI said to you which gave you a heart attack, not expecting another voice. The door of the small apartment opened and you paused the show you were watching. Your mom and Maria walked in with a man wearing an eye patch followed behind him. “How was the meeting?” You asked. “Did they get him?” Natasha shook her head.

“But we did find something out,” she said. “I’d like you to meet Nick Fury, Director of SHIELD.” You stood up, whipping your hand on your pants before you shook the man’s hand.

“It’s good to finally meet you in person, kid.” you smiled.

“Nice to meet you, sir,” you let go of his hand and followed the group into the kitchen. You sat on a bar stool while Nick poured himself some coffee and the couple plated the leftover breakfast. “So what happened?” You asked.

“We found out his real identity,” Fury said, taking a sip of coffee. “His name is James Barnes, a-”

“Steve Roger’s best friend,” you cut the man off, eyes slightly wide. “I thought he was killed in World War II,” your mom raised her eyebrow at you. You shrugged. “I paid attention in history class.” It was your second favorite subject in school.

“That is what everyone thought,” Maria said. “Until the team confirmed his identity this week.” She sat down next to you. “Which has caused some tension,” you looked between the couple, asking an unasked question. Natasha sighed.

“Steve believes I knew his true identity and kept it from him but I didn’t know,” you frowned, seeing the truth in her eyes. But you saw the hurt too that his teammate lost trust in her.

“That’s not all,” Fury said. “Turns out the Winter Solider is responsible for the death of Howard and Maria Stark.” Oh. That complicated things.

“Well,” you said slowly. “I guess we have something in common.” The Black Widow snorted at your poor attempt at a joke. You smirked. “So to recap, the Winter Solider is James Barnes, Steve Roger’s long lost best friend who killed the Starks and is after me. This man happens to be my biological father, which I’m guessing the team knows?” You questioned.

“Yes.”

“Cool,” you mumbled, running your hands through your hair. “So what do we do?”

“We are working on that,” Fury said, pushing off the counter he was leaning on to walk over to you. You spun around in the chair to face him, keeping eye contact with his good eye. You kept your face neutral. He was reading you. The ends of his lip curled up in a smile. “You got a good poker face, kid.”

“So I’ve been told,” you said. “Now what do you want?” He shook his head.

“Nothing,” he said. Well, that was a bald-faced lie. “Not right now at least. We’ll be seeing each other soon.” He quickly left the apartment. You raised an eyebrow, looking back at the couple.

“What a weird dude,” you mumbled. The couple laughed. “This plan that is being worked on, does it involve me?”

“They want to set up a trap,” Maria told you. “So we can control every outcome.”

“But I told them that using you was the last resort,” your mom said. “And you can back out if you don’t want to do it.” You nodded.

“I know,” you were nervous. “If I can help I want to.” You wanted to help that was the truth. Each day he walked freely but you and others were in danger. That reality didn’t stop you from being scared. Scared for yourself. Scared for the team. Scared for Natasha on the possibility she would have to face him again. But were you ready? All your life you wondered and dreamed about your biological. Now all the answers were laid out in front of you and you weren’t sure if you liked it.

When the couple was done with breakfast, you helped clean up and you changed out of the clothes you slept in. “You don’t have to meet them right now,” Natasha said, opening the door for you.

“Well, I can’t stay locked away in my room forever like Rapunzel. Oh! That reminds me, we should watch Tangled. It’s my favorite Disney movie,” Natasha chuckled, rustling your hair with her hand.

“Sure, we can watch it tonight,” you fixed your hair before entering the common area. The Avengers were there. You found Clint and Yelena right away, the blonde offered you a small smile. You returned it. “Guys, I like you to meet someone,” Natasha got the attention of everyone in the room. Oh, there were a lot of eyes on you. Your mom introduced you. Wanda and Vision were in the kitchen while Tony and Rhodey were at the dining room table discussing something on a tablet. That left Sam and Steve on the couch. The blonde super soldier kept looking at you and then back to Natasha. His blue eyes would linger on yours. Tony whistled.

“You really said copy and paste with this one.” Before you could respond, a strong gust of wind spun you around and pulled you away from Maria and Natasha. A man with white hair had his arm swung over your shoulders.

“So this is the fresh meat,” he pinched your cheek.

“And this pain in the ass is Pietro,” Maria deadpanned. Pietro chuckled and sped off behind Maria.

“You love me, Hill.”

“Pietro,” Wanda warned. “Be nice.” He quickly moved over to Wanda.

“You do know I’m older than you.” You smiled, shaking your head. There was a set of twins in your class back in California. You wondered how your classmates were doing. What were they told when news of your parents’ death hit and you disappeared? How was Sarah or Agent Cruise? You made a mental note to ask Natasha about them. The conversation flowed naturally with the Avengers. They asked about your likes and dislikes and your life before all this. The anxiety you were feeling was melting away. Suddenly, Steve stood up and left. The room grew quiet as everyone watched him leave.

“What’s got his panties in a twist?” Tony asked. You looked at your mom and her eyes showed how conflicted you were. You sighed and followed the man, ignoring the call of your name. The soldier was by a pond that rested on the compound’s property. He was sitting on the deck, getting lost in the water. But you knew he heard you by the way his shoulders moved.

“Tony is wrong,” he said. “All I see is Bucky when I look at you,” he shook his head. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.” You took it as an invitation to join him on the bench. Out of the corner of your eye, he looked at you and began to laugh. “Sorry, I know this isn’t funny.” You smiled softly.

“It’s fine,” you told him. “Sometimes all you can do is laugh about everything.” You sat back, folding your hands on your lab. “I was lucky that I was given to a loving family but it didn’t stop me from questioning who gave me up. Can you imagine my surprise when I find out the Black Widow and Winter Solider are my biological parents?” He chuckled. You finally looked at the man. “She’s telling the truth, she didn’t know,” Steve looked back at the water. “But I get it. It’s easier to blame someone else in this messy world.” He sighed.

“I blame myself not Nat.” You hummed.

“Can you tell me about him?” You asked. The super soldier was silent. You feared you overstepped but you allowed the man to gather his thoughts. There had to be a lot of emotions running around inside him. He discovered his best friend was alive but at what cost?

“Bucky was loyal,” he began. “He protected me and everyone around him that couldn’t stand up for themselves. He was funny, kind, and my brother,” Steve looked at you. “I guess that makes me your uncle.” You laughed, pumping your shoulder against his.

“Can I be honest with you about something?” He nodded. You saw a stone resting on the dock and you stood up to pick it up. It was flat, a perfect stone to skip. Summers were spent by the water. You would spend hours looking for the perfect rocks to skip.

“I’m scared,” you said, running your thumb over the smooth surface before skipping it across the pond.

“Why are you scared?” You turned around to face the blonde and leaned against the wooden post.

“That you and the team are going to get hurt protecting me,” you admitted. “I don’t want that to happen.” He smiled.

“It’s our job,” Steve said. “We signed up for this life.” You frowned, walked over to him, and held out your hand. He placed his on top of yours. His was different, it was warm and rough.

“You may have signed up for it,” you said. “Doesn’t mean I want it to happen.” He closed his hand and squeezed yours.

“We’ll be okay, I promise.”

“Okay,” you were sure if you liked promises. Once upon a time, your adoptive parents promised they would always be around but now they were gone. Would they keep their promises to you?

“That’s it!” Natasha heard Tony yell as she walked into the common area. She changed out of the clothes she wore on her date with Maria into something more comfortable. It was nice spending time with just her girlfriend and Yelena said she would keep an eye on you. She wasn’t expecting to walk in to see you, Tony, Clint, Rhodey, and Sam sitting around a round table playing poker. You threw your cards down and pulled the ‘pot of winnings’ closer to you. The pot was candy and Natasha saw you had the biggest pile. “Your daughter is a cheater.” You looked at the Black Widow, a twinkle in your eye and you unwrapped a jolly rancher.

“You’re a sore loser,” you said, popping the blue candy in your mouth. “Come on let’s play again.” The table groaned as you divided up your pile. Natasha chuckled and joined her sister at the kitchen counter. The blonde had a few files and a bottle of vodka.

“How long has that been going on?” Yelena glanced at the table with a smile.

“About an hour,” Natasha poured herself a shot. “She’s already beat Steve, Vision, and Pietro. Those idioty (idiots) think they can win.” Clint gasped.

“I heard that Belova.”

“You boys know she can count cards, right?” Natasha questioned. It was your turn to gasp.

“I knew it!” You ducked as a smarties got thrown at your head and grabbed the chocolate bar in the middle. Your laughter was music to Natasha’s ears as you jogged over to them and jumped in the empty chair.

“Mom,” you whined. “I was winning. You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I am, dorogoy. But we have to protect their egos.” You giggled and opened the candy bar. The Black Widow watched you glance at the folders Yelena was reading. Your eyes did a double take. “What is that?”

“I know that man,” you pointed at the picture. “He was at a few poker games.” Yelena closed the folder.

“These poker games,” Yelena said. “Where did they take place?”

“All over the city,” you told her. “Mostly at bars in the back room or warehouses.” The blonde looked at her sister.

“If we send agents to these locations we may find some HYDRA informants that could lead us to the Winter Solider,” she explained. “Do you think you can tell us where they happened?” You shrugged.

“I can try,” you said, taking another bite of the chocolate. “I was young when I went to some of them.” Natasha nodded.

“Run it by Fury,” Yelena cleaned up the folders and left to call the director.

“How was your date with Maria?” You asked once it was just you and her. The Black Widow smiled.

“It was good,” she enjoyed the one-on-one time with her but it was weird having dinner without out, even Maria said something about it. You smiled, breaking off a square, and handed it to her. Natasha took it. “Do you still want to watch Tangled or do you want to beat the boys again?”

“I will choose Tangled over anything.” Natasha chuckled, throwing her arm over your shoulders. You leaned into her embrace.

“It’s nice to see that,” you hummed in question. “Your smile, sweetheart, your smile.”

“Again,” Yelena ordered. You let out a shaky breath as Steve threw the metal shield. It bounced off the practice dummies and came towards you. You caught it the way Steve showed you, feet slipping slightly but you used the force to propel yourself forward and through the shield back. It took the same path as it traveled back to Steve. The super soldier caught it with ease.

“It’s fascinating,” you heard Tony say with a tablet in his hands. “She’s a mini Romanoff.” Yelena nodded and Steve threw it again. This time it was in a rapid session. Every time you caught it, you threw it right back and Steve did the same.

“Do you think Barnes and Nat could have passed down a version of the serum?” Sam asked. That was the theory they wanted to test after you outran Sam and could keep up with Steve.

“We won’t know until her blood work comes back,” the billionaire said. “But it does seem that way.” You let out a breathless laugh. It was another thing to add to your list.

“What the hell are you doing to my kid?” Natasha asked, entering the training room as you caught the shield for what felt like the hundredth time.

“Romanoff, come look at this,” she glared at Tony as she walked over to him. The billionaire showed her the tablet, her facial expression was unreadable.

“Stop using her as some science experiment,” she marched over to you, ripped the shield out of your hands, and threw it at Steve. “My pogovorim ob etom pozzhe (We will talk about this later). She glared at Yelena.

“Mom,” you said as she pulled you away from the other Avengers. “Mom,” you repeated. “I’m fine.”

“Sit,” she pointed to the chair. You did as you were told as she disappeared. When she returned, she was holding a first aid kit. “Does this look fine,” she held up your arm to show you the bruising. You didn’t have the heart to tell her that those bruises were the second round. The others already healed. She knelt in front of you, adding some cream to your arm.

“They are saying that you or Bucky passed down a version of the serum to me,” you watched the Avengers set up another training session this time with Vision and the Maximoff twins. Natasha sighed.

“Maria and I had a similar conversation in Norway,” you looked back at the Black Widow. Her green eyes were already looking up at you.

“How does that change things if that test comes back positive?” You whispered.

��It changes nothing, honey,” your mom said. “You are still my daughter nothing else matters.”

“But will that make me an Avenger?” Natasha shook her head.

“Just because you are different or special doesn’t mean you need to be an Avenger. It will always be your choice. I won’t or Fury or the rest of the team will not force or guilt you to join,” she gently ran her fingers over the bruises that were already beginning to heal. “When you get older and you decide you want to join the team, I will support you tenfold.” You connected your hands with hers and looked at the woman in front of you. In Norway, while the couple was asleep, you opened Maria’s laptop and searched for Natasha Romanoff. Quickly, you learned the things she was subjected to, and the horrors she faced to become the hero the world knew her as. Everything was not her choice. She was forced to become the Black Widow, forced to lie and kill, forced to have you, and forced to give you away. Her life choices were made for her, she wasn’t going to let it happen to you.

“Okay,” you smiled. “Thank you.” Natasha smiled and cleaned up the used medical supplies.

“Try to take it easy in training,” she kissed your forehead. “You’re gonna give your mom a heart attack.” You giggled.

“Yes ma’am. Be nice to Yelena. She made sure I was okay.”

“No promises,” she winked at you and walked over to her sister. You sighed, leaning back in the chair. What a weird life you were living.

Tony called you, Maria, and Natasha into his lab the following morning. He said that the test results were inconclusive due to him only finding fragments of the serum in your DNA when he compared it to Steve and Natasha. But the Black Widow told him that Widows were given different versions of the serum than the one they gave Steve. With this new information, a training schedule was made to prepare you. It was still uncertain if the Avengers were going to use you but you enjoyed training with people other than Natasha and Maria. Hand-to-hand combat with Steve, conditioning with Pietro (which you thought was unfair), and weapon training with Clint and Yelena. But your days weren’t fully spent dripped in sweat and your body aching, your mom made sure of it. You spent time with Wanda in the kitchen, played video games with Sam and Rhodey, and annoyed Tony in this lab. It was fun but you felt like you weren’t doing enough to help. The team met almost every day to brainstorm ideas, but they came up empty.

You were sitting with Yelena looking at the map of the city you grew up in to try to rack your brain where these poker games took place. You remembered a few spots; Ray’s Bar because the owner gave you sour candy and the warehouse by the pier because it smelt bad. You hated going to those games, the smell seemed to stay with you days after the game was over.

You sighed, taking a grape from the fruit bowl Wanda made for you. “What’s wrong Nemnogo krasnyy (little red)?” Yelena asked, continuing to type her mission request to Fury.

“It’s stupid,” a piece of cheese was thrown at your forehead. “What was the for?”

“Because if something is bothering you it’s not stupid. So talk,” You ate the cheese she threw at you.

“I feel like I’m not doing enough to help. I want to do more,” you slumped down into your chair. “I hate feeling worthless.” Yelena closed the laptop and stood up. You heard her approaching footsteps but you didn’t look at her until she was right in front of you.

“You are not worthless,” she said, kneeling to your level. “Your job is to stay safe. That is what the team wants, especially your mama.” You shrugged. Yelena tapped your leg. “What can I do to help?” Well since she asked…

“I want to read possible case files the Winter Solider has been connected to.”

“Absolutely not,” she said, standing up suddenly and going back to her laptop.

“Aunt Lena,” you called after her and was quick to follow her. “I know nothing about him. Wouldn’t it be smart for me to know everything I can?” She opened the laptop slowly. “Think about it. If you guys were to use me as bait it needs to be believable so for it to be believable I need to know everything about my target.” The blonde sighed.

“Your mother will kill me.”

“She won’t know I got them from you. I’ll blame Clint or tell her FRIDAY gave them to me.” She rubbed her forehead.

“Fine, I’ll get the files, okay? Just be careful.” You squealed, wrapping her arms around her neck.

“You are the best! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” She shook her head, chuckling.

“I know I am. Now get back to work,” you stood at attention, gave her a mock salute, and ran back over to the map. It was a start and you were excited! The possibility of reading case files made you feel like a spy, like your mom!

You called it an early night, claiming you were tired from training. Both Natasha and Maria seemed to believe it so you had time to read the files Yelena gave you. She was right when they said they didn’t have a lot and many of them were speculated that the Winter Solider was responsible. He was that good, that deadly, that feared that if there were witnesses no one would talk. Sighing, you bit down on the pen you were using. This was your father. Steve told you that he was loyal and protective but in these files, you saw none of that. How much did HYDRA get rid of? “Hey, sweetheart,” you jumped as the door opened and had little time to put the files away before your mom walked in. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” you squeaked out. She glared at you as she walked into your room. Natasha picked up one of the files and read it over. Then another and another until all of them were in your hands.

“Where did you get these?”

“I found them,” you lied. You hated lying to her but you wanted to protect your aunt. “I wanted to learn more about him so I went searching,” she sighed, rubbing her forehead. “I’m sorry.” Natasha sat down in front of you, the files on the floor but you refused to look at her.

“Can you look at me?” It took you a moment but you looked up at her. “I’m not angry, okay? I just wish you had come and talked to me about this instead of reading those. Those files,” she pointed to them. “Only tell one side of the story.”

“Steve told me about Bucky but I want to know about-”

“The Winter Solider.” She cut you off. You nodded. “Why didn’t you ask me?”

“I didn’t want to upset you. I know it’s a sensitive topic,” she gave you a sad smile.

“You could never upset me, okay?” She placed her hand on your cheek and kissed your forehead. She quickly moved next to you and pulled you into her arms. “So what do you want to know?”

“Anything you want to share,” in a similar fashion to Steve, she took her time before she spoke. You took her hand and began to trace the lines on the palm of her hand.

“He was Winter to me and some of the other Widows,” she began. “He was a strict trainer, very serious on missions, and quiet. Some days he terrified me but other days he was kind,” you heard the slight shake in her voice but you didn’t dare attention to it. “No matter what though he was extremely protective of me and the other Widows. If a mission were to go wrong, he would take the blame and accept the punishment.”

“Did you love him?” You found yourself asking. Natasha let out a shaky breath, you felt it on the top of your head.

“Not in the way I love Maria but in some way I did. In there, it was rare to see any kindness so when he should it to me I accepted it.” You spun around so you were lying on your stomach and looking up at her. You noticed her green eyes were glossy with tears.

“I’m sorry.” You said.

“Why are you apologizing?” You were sure but it felt like you needed to say it. Maybe you were apologizing for everything she went through. Did anyone tell her they were sorry? Sorry for taking you away. Sorry for forcing her to have you. Sorry for robbing her of her childhood.

“Just thought you needed someone to tell you that.” You whipped away that fell down her cheek. “Do you think I can sleep with you and Maria tonight? Those files were not child-appropriate.” A deep laugh was pulled out of your mom and you counted that as a win.

“Come on buttercup. Let’s go to bed.”

You were lost, unable to follow the conversation as you sat through another meeting to come up with a plan. Somehow Steve and Tony started arguing and your mom tried to stop them. Damn, your head was going to split open. “Enough!” Your sudden outburst got the attention of the room. You stood up from your spot in the corner and walked to the table. “You know damn well it won’t work.” Maria gasped.

“Steve doesn’t like that kind of talk,” you rolled your eyes at her. You looked around the table, Steve and Tony settled down in their chairs, and your eyes locked on Natasha. “Use me. I’m ready. I’ve trained, I’ve studied, and we know he won’t come out unless I’m there.”

“Sweetheart,” your mom pleaded but you held up your hand to stop her.

“I’ve thought about it, every possible outcome, and I know how dangerous he is. I mean I saw him murder my parents.” Tony mumbled, ‘Twins,’ under his breath. “But we have to stop him. The longer HYDRA has him the more people will get hurt. We have to save him,” the team was quiet, as they had a silent conversation with one another. But Natasha’s eyes stayed on you, afraid if she looked away you would disappear right before her eyes. “Come on guys,” you whined. “We got this! You are the Avengers, Earth’s mightiest heroes. You’ll protect me.” They were waiting for Natasha’s approval, no one was going to speak before her. You kept your heart steady and your poker face down so she could see everything. Finally, she sighed.

“I don’t like it,” she admitted. Then again who would? She was going to have to watch her daughter be live bait. “But she’s right, it’s our only option.” You smiled, nodding your head.

“How we do proceed?” Vision asked. “We must ensure the capture of Sargent Barnes and the safety of Miss. Romanoff.” You liked Vision. He was the only Avenger to call you, ‘Miss. Romanoff’, it made you feel more connected to her.

“Actually,” you raised your hand slowly. “I have an idea.”

“Little red,” you looked up from your phone. Steve was walking towards you with two men. The nickname seemed to spread once Yelena said it in front of the team. You heard it more than your actual name, it made you feel like a superhero. “I want you to meet some people.” You stood up and met the trio halfway. “This is Agent Brock Rumlow and Secretary Alexander Pierce.” You shook the men’s hands. You’ve seen them around the compound, a handful of times but you’ve never been introduced. “Agent Rumlow will be in charge of the SHIELD agents assigned to this mission.”

“I must say it’s a good plan. I was told you came up with it,” Pierce said. You nodded.

“Yes sir,” you said. “I knew the only way to ensure his capture was if it was believable and I was present.” Pierce smiled, you didn’t like it. A chill went down your spine.

“You’re a brave kid,” he said and the four of you began the walk to the conference room. It was the final meeting, to make sure all the Ts were crossed and Is were dotted. Rumlow trailed behind you, Pierce, and Steve.

“Are you not scared?” He asked. “The Winter Solider isn’t someone to be messed with.” You hated his tone but you brushed it off, there were other things to worry about.

“Terrified,” you admitted. “But I know all of you have my back,” Steve opened the door. “Right, Agent Rumlow?” You asked him, refusing to enter the room. He smirked.

“Right, Little Red.” Oh, you hated the way he said your name. You walked into the room and sat between Natasha and Maria. Immediately, your mom grabbed onto your hand and squeezed it. You squeezed it back.

With the plan in motion, you were starting to feel sick to your stomach. The busy New York streets were doing nothing to calm your nerves, even though you could pinpoint the SHIELD agents stationed around you. This was your plan after all. For the past few days, you were sending text messages to your ‘friends’ back home and claimed you hated living with the Avengers. You double-downed and said they were holding you against your will. Tony made sure your messages could be seen. Finally, a number you didn’t recognize messaged you and proclaimed they could get you away from them. A plan was made for you to sneak your way to New York City and meet at a cafe. Unbeknownst to your mysterious contact, the Avengers were in the loop. You would entertain the man until the Winter Solider made his appearance. As soon as he was there, you were to get to a predetermined location and a SHIELD agent would get you away from the fight.

You were given no coms. The only thing you were given was a bracelet with a tracker on it that your mom gave you. You sipped on your hot chocolate and played with the piece of jewelry. You wished you could hear your mom’s voice but you knew she was watching. So was Maria, Yelena, and Clint. “Hello,” you jumped at the sudden voice, hitting your knee against the table.

“Sorry,” you whipped the hot chocolate you split. “You startled me.” The man laughed and offered his hand. You shook it as he sat down. He wasn’t what you were expecting, glasses, long black hair, and tattoos. He chuckled.

“It’s fine. I can imagine you are on edge with everything going on,” you nodded as the man put a briefcase on the table.

“It’s been a crazy few months,” you admitted.

“Parents murdered by the Winter Solider and kidnapped by the Avengers,” you took a sip of your drink, it was still hot. “What made you want to get away from them now?” He asked.

“I just miss my friends,” your voice shaking was a good choice. You deserved an Oscar for this performance. “I miss my life before all this,” he opened the briefcase. “I want to go home.”

“I’ll get you home, sweetheart, trust me,” it happened rather quickly. The man reached for your hand and with his free one he had a small syringe. You had to admit it was ballsy, attacking in such a public location. But you were quick to pull your hand away and splash your hot chocolate on the man’s face. In his panic, you jumped over the metal fence and heard the man speak frantically in Russian, no doubt to the com he was wearing.

You got flashbacks as three black vans came rushing down the street, and innocent civilians dove out of the way. But you stayed, you needed confirmation. The man overcame his shock and jumped over the fence. He swung at you. You grabbed his fist and used his momentum to throw him over your body. With his back on the ground, you delivered a quick punch and he was out cold.

The vans stopped and there he was. An assault rifle was in his hands and his metal arm was shining in the sun. His eyes were glued to you as HYDRA agents poured down the street. You thought it was overkill but their attention was diverted when Tony flew overhead, blowing up one of the vans. That was your cue, you turned around and ran.

You thanked every conditioning session Pietro put you through because you made it to the alley in no time. “Little Red,” you sighed as you saw the SHIELD agent.

“Agent-” his name died on your lips as a gunshot went off and his body slumped to the ground. A hand went around your mouth before you could scream and a sharp prick on your neck made your eyes water. You tried to fight the assailant as he dragged you to a van, over the bodies of the other agents that were assigned to protect you. Whatever they injected you became too much, your eyes began to close as they threw you in the back of the van. The last thing you felt was them ripping the bracelet off your wrist before the world went dark.

You woke with a start. You dreamt that you were falling, screaming for someone to help you but no one was there. In the dim light, your eyes adjusted to the room, no cell, you were in. There was a toilet, a door with a caged window, a mattress you were lying on, and stood in the corner was him. The Winter Solider. You jumped to your feet and faced him. The sudden movement caused your head to spin but you remained standing. His eyes were cold, void of any emotion. If he knew who you were, he gave no indication. He looked at you like he was staring right through you. “Hi,” you squeaked out. God, your heart was beating so fast. Rattling against your rib cage. There was no way he couldn’t hear it then again you could hear his. You focused on it, the slow pace of his heart. You let out a shaky breath then another. Soon your heartbeat matched his and you looked at his face, half of it covered by that mask. There was a small spark in his blue eyes that quickly disappeared. He was impressed. “Where am I?” This time your voice was steady. Instead of answering, he closed the distance between you and him. You fought every nerve in your body that called out for you to run. But you stayed. Even when he towered over you and tried to force your back against the wall.

You were terrified, fear crept deep within your bones, as his eyes looked over every detail of your face. Was he trying to memorize it or find a memory? You weren’t sure. With his metal hand, he gripped your chin. You were surprised at how gently his touch was. “Who?” He grunted out, you almost missed it. Did he ask you who? What the hell was that? He could have added so many more words to make a thought. Instead, he asked you who? Before you could question him, the door opened and he was back in his corner. Four heavily armed men entered the room.

“Well, well, well,” you knew that voice. “Look whose finally up.”

“Rumlow,” you said as the SHIELD agent walked in followed by Pierce. “And Pierce.” What was going on? They worked for SHIELD, they were the good guys. Your stomach dropped at the realization. They beat you, you met someone with a better poker face than your own. You hated cheaters.

“The whore’s daughter is smart.” Rumlow chuckled. Your blood boiled but you had to be smart. You were given a losing hand and you weren’t ready to fold. Pierce held up his hand to silence him and stepped closer to you. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the Winter Solider move. The rest of the room missed it.

“What do you want from me?” The man grabbed a hold of your chin, forcing your head side to side. Winter grunted in the corner, this time the room heard it.

“Looks like she has a guard dog already,” Rumlow teased. Pierce dropped the hold he had on you, your jaw sore.

“Welcome to the new world order,” he said. “Hail HYDRA.”

Sorry! I know another part is annoying but this was getting really long. Good news is a lot of it is written soo I'm hoping to post it on Monday, maybe Sunday. Enjoy!

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someobliviousgirl · 10 months

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Rescue by Lauren Daigle

Summary: Natasha doesn’t have a lot of regrets, everything she’s done in her life has gotten her to where she is now. An Avenger, a hero to young girls, and trying to remove some red from her ledger. But the one thing she does regret is giving you up. But when a word gets out that you are in trouble, she will come to rescue you.

Pairings: Natasha x Maria, Natasha x Maria x daughter!reader, past Natasha x Bucky

Warning: gun shot violence, implied rape, death, cannon typical violence, gambling, the reader needs a hug but so does Natasha

Word count: 7.1 k

“Mail call,” Wanda said, walking into the common area with a few pieces of mail in her hand.

“Who the hell gets paper mail?” Tony asked, pouring coffee into his mug.

“Some of us like to do things without technology,” Steve said as Wanda handed him the newspaper. Tony looked at the super soldier with disbelief. It was rare that the Avengers got mail but each one had specific memberships. Vision received a copy of the newest National Geographic and Pietro got Sports Illustrated. Sometimes Sam received a letter from his service buddies and Steve always got the newspaper, he did take the comics out for Peter. As Wanda handed out the mail, Natasha waited with bated breath to see if she received a letter. It was rare but she was excited nonetheless. The Sokovian smiled at the Black Widow and handed her a letter. It was addressed the same way, her name and her current address with no return.

Afficher davantage

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someobliviousgirl · 1 year

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Anniversaries

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Warnings: You might cry

"Stop! Please, please, okay I'm sorry Nat!" you giggled. Natasha laid on top of you, she kept you pinned down on the couch of your shared apartment, with her body weight as she tickled you.

"And why are you sorry, Malishka?" (baby girl) she said in a low disciplinary tone. There was a smirk on her face as she tried to contain her own laughter.

"That I called you soft." you huffed out in defeat. Natasha lent forward to kiss your forehead before letting you up.

"You're an angel," you said sarcastically as you got up. Nat went silent as you grabbed the DVD cabinet. You picked Monster's Inc.

"I'm no angel," Natasha said quietly but with a chuckle to mask the memories behind the statement.

You turned around to find Natasha lost in thought. Walking over to the ottoman to grab a blanket you lent over the fabricated seat to flick off the light.

Sitting back on the couch you kissed Natasha's cheek. It was clear that the sentence was deeper than she let on.

"You're my angel though." You said it so simply like it was obvious. Natasha had no choice but to believe it. Believe that maybe she wasn't a complete monster because of her past. You made her feel like nobody else had before. Special. Lovable. Understood.

Nobody had ever made her feel better about her past, not even a little, but you had. You managed to lift a little of the guilt off her shoulder and Natasha knew at this moment that you were the one.

She laid her head on your lap and watched the children's movie feeling safe and loved in your arms.

Natasha didn't know what she'd do without you. And luckily she didn't have to.

***

"Y/n?"

"Yes Natasha," you asked smiling. The two of you sat at a table in a restaurant, it was the anniversary of the day Natasha knew she wanted to marry you, so she took you out on a date.

"I have a gift for you."

"Oh, really what's the occasion?"

"There is no occasion, I just love you. "

You smiled as she pulled out a bracelet box. Your smile grew as you saw what was engraved on the charm. It said "Y/n and Tasha" in cursive.

It was the running joke in the tower that whenever someone sees you and Natasha together they call it "Y/n and Tasha time".

This started after Tony caught you and Natasha in the middle of having sex. It was mortifying to you and very irritating to Natasha but the rest of the team thought it was very entertaining, and they mocked the two of you relentlessly.

You laughed and looked up to Natasha.

"I love it."

***

"Oh, oh look Tasha!"

"What is it?" Natasha laughed.

"Butterflies!"

"What about them?"

"I love them! Come on." Natasha let you pull her towards the swarm of butterflies. The two of you were at a pride parade and Natasha is starting to realize how distracted you get.

Most of the butterflies flew away as soon as you got there and Natasha knew they would, so she felt taking them off the trail to look at butterflies was a waste of time, but the large smile on your face made it worth it.

There was one butterfly that stayed though. It was yellow and orange, and it landed on your shoulder.

"Look, Nat!" You whispered. You tried to stay still, but your excitement got the best of you, you bounced excitedly on your heels. Natasha was surprised that the butterfly didn't fly off.

But she was happy that it stayed because it made you smile.

***

It was the anniversary of the day Natasha knew, you were the love of her life and she wanted to spend every night with you. She was so nervous but also so ready to call you her fiancé.

She was planning on proposing to you that evening. It was going to be very romantic and intimate. You didn't like big things, and she knew you would hate it if she did a public proposal, so she planned on going to the pier as the sun started to set.

Natasha planned out her speech and was preparing in the mirror when she heard a light knock at the door.

"And whenever you're around me, I feel at home, so Y/n will-"

Your head popped into the door. You saw Nat in the mirror.

"What are you doing, love?"

"Oh, nothing, what's up?"

"We have a mission."

"What, I'm scheduled to not have any missions today, and so are you."

"I know, but it'll be quick. Cap said we were just going to scope out an empty HYDRA base to see if there's any leftover information."

Nat sighed and followed you out. So far it wasn't going as planned, but she still had all morning to prepare.

***

They both swept their respected sides of the building, finding nothing. They met up in the final room.

"You find anything?" Nat asked.

"Nope. After this, you wanna get ice cream?" You smiled.

"Sure," Natasha said looking at you. "Wait look." Nat pointed at the TV screen in the center of the room. There was a computer set right below it.

The pair walked over to the screens, defensively. There was a flash drive in the computer and Nat took it. They ran in sync together outside the building.

"Don't you think this was a bit too easy?" You asked as you slowed down.

"Maybe but we did it, so let's just get out of here and get that ice cream."

"Yeah." You still couldn't shake the feeling though you figured Natasha she what was best.

"What ice cream flavor do you want angel?" You asked as you took Natasha's hand.

"Mmm, strawberry of course."

There was a comfortable silence that fell between the two of you. Then you felt the ground beneath you shake a little.

"Nat wait did you feel that?" you stopped abruptly and took a firmer hold on Natasha's hand.

"Yeah, come on let's get out of here." You began to run hand in hand still before a large explosion went off separating you from Nat. All Natasha heard was ringing and all she could see was smoke.

"Y/N!" The first thing she thought of was you. You were the only thing on her mind.

"Y/N?!" She stumbled up to look for you but realized her leg was bleeding. There was a sharp glass lodged into her thigh. She ripped her suit pant leg and tied it around her thigh. She groaned as she tightened it.

The bleeding subsided and she began looking for you.

Your eyes flickered open. The first thing you noticed was the pain in your chest; you couldn't move, and your chest felt like it was slowly exploding.

The second thing you noticed was that you didn't know where Natasha was. You tried to call out for Natasha but the only thing that came out was blood, you tried again anyway though.

"Tasha?" you coughed up more blood and searing pain was shot throughout your body. You were terrified and all you wanted was Natasha, but you didn't know where she was or even where you were.

Natasha hurried to where she thought she heard your voice but didn't see you. Until she saw the shine of the bracelet she gave you.

She froze when she saw you, there was a large metal rod going through you and into the ground and blood was gushing out of you.

She quickly dropped to her knees beside you.

"Hey, hey, I'm here baby."

You flinched slightly at the sudden voice.

"Na- Nat?"

Natasha put her hand to her ear hoping her earpiece would still be there, but it wasn't. It must have gotten knocked out in the blast, so she looked for yours, but it wasn't in your ear either.

She let out a frustrated groan. Nobody was coming. You saw it in her eyes.

"No- no one's coming... are they?"

"Stop." She took your hand tightly. "They'll come. They'll- they'll come."

"Don't... cry." Natasha didn't even realize she was crying.

"You should… go angel, before another explosion." You continued.

"No, I'm not going to leave you." You knew she wasn't going to leave, but it was worth a shot.

"I'm scared." Your voice cracked.

Natasha let out a sob. "Don't be scared." She whispered. It's Y/n and Tasha forever, you'll be okay."

Your eyes started to close. "Open your eyes, Y/n!" Natasha saw how hard you were trying, but this was an inevitability. Nat looked around, nobody was there, but she desperately yelled anyway.

"Help! Help me, help! Help please!"

"Please stop yelling, Nat." She bent back down onto her stomach, gripping your hand. "I'm tired."

"I know, just stay awake for me Y/n."

"It hurts." you cried. Natasha wiped your tears.

"Do you remember the day we went to that pride parade?" Natasha asked her voice thick with grief.

"Mmm-mmm."

"Just think about that, baby."

"You know, it- it's fitting that you're here."

"Why?"

"Because you're my angel and i-i'm dying."

Natasha saw how much pain you were in, she knew what you were holding on for. Who you were holding on for. Her body felt like it was on autopilot and as she said the words that tore her heart into shreds.

"Y/n if- if you're ready, you can let go. It's okay. I love you, I love you so much."

"I love you... too." You closed your eyes. You weren't scared anymore.

Natasha sobbed as she clutched your hand and watched as your chest rose and fell for the last time.

Today wasn't supposed to end like this. It was supposed to be an in-and-out mission. You were supposed to be getting strawberry ice cream. You were supposed to say yes to her proposal. You were supposed to be her fiancé.

Today wasn't supposed to end like this.

***

Natasha likes anniversaries. Liked anniversaries would be the proper statement. She didn't like them anymore. Especially today. Today marked the anniversary of a mission gone wrong.

So Natasha went to the ice cream parlor and order two strawberry ice creams. She made her way to the cemetery where your body lay, cold.

"Hey, Y/n."

Natasha sat next to your stone. "Today sucks, everyone keeps looking at me like I'm going to break or something." She licked her ice cream cone. "I have your bracelet... Y/n and Tasha forever." She chuckled dryly.

"I miss you, I still can't believe you're gone. I was your angel, and now you're mine... literally. You know I never got to give you my speech." She paused even though she knew you weren't going to answer.

"Y/n, you've made me the happiest I've ever been. You lift me up, keep my secrets, comfort me, and love me no matter what the circumstances. I can't..." Natasha paused and wiped a few stray tears, she lingered in the irony before continuing.

"I can't imagine what I'd do without you and I never want to, you make me whole and whenever I'm around you I feel at home so Y/n, will you marry me?"

Tears streamed down her face as she now realized again that you will never give her an answer.

Natasha sat next to your stone eyes closed, licking her ice cream. She felt small gusts of wind. She opened her eyes to see a yellow and orange butterfly resting on her hand.

More tears fell down her face and she took this as a yes.

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someobliviousgirl · 2 years

Text

Too cute😍

Not What I Expected

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Word Count: 2179

Warnings: None

Requested by: @confusinggemini612

Request: Hey, had an idea for a fic & thought you would do a great job with it. So, could you please do a Natasha x Reader fic where the reader is a former agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. that gets recruited to the Avengers? Natasha worked with reader a couple times previous & knows them to be no nonsense, controlled, & efficient. She never was around them in a non work setting so she’s surprised once the reader’s living with them with how chaotic the reader is always coming up with crazy ideas & plans. Just fluffy nonsense with a chaotic reader & dumbfounded/smitten Natasha. Thanks

Masterlist

When Fury told the team that you’d be joining Natasha was indifferent. She had known you from a few missions, all in which you had been quite impressive. You were a former S.H.I.E.D. agent and now it seemed like you were getting promoted.

Natasha wasn’t surprised to hear that you’d be joining the team. After all they let you go on missions with her, so it was already pretty clear that you were one of the best.

As far as Natasha knew, you were good at your job. You were probably one of the easiest agents to be on a mission with when it came to getting the job done. When it came to conversations and joking around she had known you to be no nonsense.

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someobliviousgirl · 2 years

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I think it is one of the best angst fic that i've read. And I read a lot of them...

Here With Me

Warnings: ANGST, like…angst man…character’s death, mentions of blood, future references…mainly angst.

Taglist: @shurisvibranium @radiantlyfemme @iwillbiteabitch @6-noir @queenofsimpsblog @rxcently @sklevenfourtyfour @beautybyfire @ziayamikaelson @melanated-queen @newctrll @zhanylai @bubshri @izzyorzua24 @ogbells16 @bananafishok @heartsforjojo @writingintheshadowsforever @saintwrld @playgurlxoxo @shuriandririswifey @ziayamikaelson @bestfriend491 @slytherin-34 @tchhairbandhere @youralphawolf72 @queerponcho @futurefemalefatale @shuriszn @bratydoll @mysticalmarss @pinkwright @shuririsdefenseattorney @shuri-lover @hotgirlslovepink @foreverdom-tish @sweetalittleselfish-honey

A/N: This isn’t apart of the Shuri x reader series, just one I had in my drafts…I was listening to Here With Me by d4vd while writing and editing this…I recommend you listening to it as well if you read this. and I apologize greatly to you if you do read this—enjoy🫶🏽

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“Shuri…”

As soon as she showed him mercy, as soon as Namor dissapeared into the ocean, Shuri wasted no time in rushing towards you, ignoring the scorching pain to her stomach and the ache in her body and the fury she felt towards Namor. All she could think of was you.

“Ingaba ulungile?” -are you okay?- she whispered panicked, wrapping a careful but firm arm around your waist to try and help you maintain balance.

“I…I’m fine.” You nodded stiffly, mustering a small smile as you held the arm around you, leaning into the Panther’s form. “It..it isn’t as bad as it seemed.”

“Let me help…” she groaned a bit in pain, trying to take a step forward with you still in her hold.

“I can do it Shuri. I am fine.” You repeated once more, a whine followed afterwards when her arm tightened.

“My love you are shaking.” She realized, mouth drying and throat tightening. An ache rose in her chest, already feeling the sight of you being hurt gnawing at her.

“I’m fine…I just need to rest for a moment.” You breathed a bit desperately, hand tightening over her wrist as you tried settling down on the sand.

But she beat you to it, carefully helping you sit, Shuri crouching beside you as she cradled your head in support and comfort from the stones.“Yes, okay—rest. You can do that.” she nodded hesitantly, letting out a shaky breath.

“Ingaba ulungile?” -Are you okay?- You asked softly, remembering how Namor’s struck into her stomach, how she managed to pull free from it. You glanced down, noticing how the material of her suit was still in process of closing from the raw vibranium.

“I am fine…a minor injury if I must say now that the herb is in my system.” She winced, her free hand ghosting over the spot.

“Do you think it will heal fast now with the herb?” You raised a hand, thumb stroking over the small injury on her cheek.

“A theory.” She nodded leaning into your touch. “Maybe in a few days…or hours if I attend to it soon.” She assured, hand raising to stroke over your forehead not caring for anything right now, besides you. “Are you certain you’re okay, Y/N—“

You watch as her ebony eyes widen slightly, fear seeping into them as her lips parted. “Intoni?”-what?- you question, brows knitting in confusion as you tried to sit up straight.

But a pained groan erupted from you and she was quick to hold you down, head shaking rapidly as she smiled weakly but the tears still gathered in realization, holding you a bit closer.

“Nothing, my love…I just realized how bad I must look to you after what you saw.” She gently half lied, anguish slightly written across her face, watching how dirt sprawled over the brown of your cheeks, a few injuries on your skin but still managed to look so beautiful.

Your eyes skimmed over her face, for you knew what she spoke of. “You did not, Shuri wam.”- My Shuri- Your thumb trailed to between her brows, soothing the crease there. “You were angry…and hurt. Anyone would have done the exact thing you did if they were in your place.” You muttered, eyes half closing but smiled nonetheless.

She returned it before calling for Griot. “How much time is left?” She questioned shakily, watching as your eyes flickered open with the same confusion.

“Not much…vitals are currently weak—help is on the way, but the engines are broken and by the time they arrive it’d be too late, Panther.” The Ai’s voice spoke, if it were possible he sounded almost in distress.

As you asked what they both meant, her broken gaze traveled down to your abdomen, a pool of red gushing and seeping through your torn suit.

“Nothing, Y/N/N…Can you stand for me love? Just for a moment—no better yet I will return okay?” She tried to keep her voice balanced, to push down the pain bubbling as she started to stand.

But you reached for her arm, gripping a bit. “Hey, Shuri, no…” You brought her face back to look at you and gave her a little dazed smile. “Don’t go. Please. Just stay with me, okay?”

“You need help.” Her voice grew ragged. “You need to see someone. I can’t…I can’t fix you without my lab, I cannot fix this Y/N—help is on the way—“

“You don’t need to fix me, Shuri.” You shook your head taking her hand in yours. “You heard Griot.” You spoke. “By then it’d be too late.”

Her face crumbled at how you knew, but you only smiled. “I just need to rest for a moment.”

“It’s okay, take your time and rest okay?” Shuri smiled brokenly, retracting the vibranium around her hand so her bare touch could stroke your head, gently leading to your temple and cheek.

The sound of the Sea Leapard grew clearly in her new senses as it tried to move, war cries being heard and she could hear the slightest call of both your names. But she didn’t care right now.

“You should go, my love. They are waiting for their protector to take them home.” You said quietly as you glanced over her shoulder, seeing the big ship coming towards the deserted area, catching a small glimpse of the Talokanil as well. Though Shuri’s face blocked the view, looking at you so tenderly and fragile.

“Hayi -no-. I’m gonna stay with you until you feel well enough to walk…until you’ve rested, okay?” She says as quietly as you, hearing your slow and quiet breathing drift away bit by bit, a hand cradling your face while the other managed to get you close as possible, holding you to her chest.

“But there’s a lot of them coming…waiting for you.” You protest lightly, gazing up at her through your lashes, fingers loosely around her wrist while the other rose to touch her disheveled corn rows, taking the time to bask how the unruly hair felt.

She managed a smile shaking her head. “They are waiting for you and me…but do not worry about them. As long as you’re here with me, it’s alright, okay?” She hummed, gently massaging your scalp.

“Shuri…” you whispered, a warmth and drain spreading across your body.

“Heyi -no- Do not use that tone right now. Please.” She tried saying firmly, but you felt the quivers of her body reflecting in her voice, holding you a bit tighter.

“Ndiyakuthanda, Shuri.” -I love you.- you continued as tears warped your vision, both your hands around her wrists now.

“I know you do, Y/N.” She whispered, gazing over your face as her palms cupped your face. “But please, they are on their way and we are going to be able to take you back to my lab to heal you okay—“

“Shuri.” You spoke pointedly. “You heard Griot. The ship is damaged now, come on, baby.”

“No.” She whimpered out, forehead pressing desperately against your own as her hands now shook against your face. Trying to cling to the false twinge of hope in her heart. Trying to keep the last of her light from not seeping through her fingers.

“They will fix it, Nakia will find a way to, M’Baku will find a way—“

A weak laugh left you, shaking your head against hers. “M’Baku is not as smart enough to fix such a problem, baby…they’re not going to make it.” You took in a faint bubble of air ghosting your lungs. “I’m not gonna make it.” You whispered too truthfully for her likings.

Shuri’s face scrunched up in misery, as she’s done many times these past months. Tears welled in her eyes, cleaning the dirt and debris off her brown skin as they rolled down her face, lips quivering.

“Hey…you have cried far too many tears, my love. Just hold me now and bask that I am with you. It will be alright.”

“Hayi -no-.” She cried softly, feeling her forehead crease. “You are hurt. I will not be able to save you, like I haven’t been able to save the ones I love—I will lose you. It is not alright!”

“It is alright, Shuri wam. Because i am in the arms of my first love. The first and only girl I ever loved.” Your voice began to shake as your body grew weaker. Shuri cradled you in her arms and stroked your head to make it as comfortable as possible, to make herself feel some kind of condolence.

“And it is my favorite place to be.” You sighed out as a single tear strid down your cheek, nuzzling into her touch.

“Stay here with me, please?” She pleaded. “Keep your eyes open for me, yes? Let me see them, intombi entle -pretty girl- just look at me…”

“You are going to do great things, Shuri.” You smile softly at her, pulling away to look into her eyes. “I cannot wait to see how the Black Panther protects our country.”

“And you are going to be right there with me, protecting it alongside me.” She insisted. “We are going to get through this, and live a life together with no more pain and mourn.”

“Ukuthembisa?” -Promise?-You asked as a bit blood began to seep out of your mouth, coughing a bit.

“Ndiyathembisa.- I promise- We will visit many countries outside Wakanda. Like how we said we would when we were little, yeah? We can go anywhere you like.” She said with a little smile, stroking the blood away with her thumb.

“We should go to France—where T’Challa took us and we had our first kiss.” You grin a bit before it slowly fell. “I take that back… they’re onto us and I do not think we need that— how about Dubai after Haiti?”

“Ewe -yes-, we can go to Dubai and Haiti.” She nodded frantically. “And we can visit Haiti, And we can get married.”

“You want to get married?“ you chirp, wide grin returning as tears streamed down your cheeks, your faint heartbeat picking up for a slight moment.

She let out a teary chuckle nodding. “And once we get you back to Wakanda, I will show you the rings I have created for us both, with the beautifulest carvings and stoned embedded in them.”

Your doe eyes widen at her confession, warming up even more at how much you love this girl. “Of course you’ve made the rings…did you get any help?” You asked caressing her cheek.

She smiled a bit nodding. “Mother and T’Challa…he helped me before everything happened, love.”

More tears pooled your eyes, both of you sniffling at her words, words silently exchanged. “Could Aneka…and Nakia help me with my dress? Could she come to the wedding? And Okoye too? Even M’Baku…he can help with the heavy stuff, no?”

“Ewe, yes my beautiful love.” She chuckled softly. “They can come and help, and Nakia and Aneka will help you dress far more gorgeous than you already are, and have the most amazing celebration with our people. We will live in Wakanda, helping our people, leading them to a better future together, and as long as we have each other we will have everything we need. Never leaving.”

“Can we have a vacation home in Haiti? Can you make a balcony with the ocean’s view?” You asked, a cute lace of hope in your voice.

“Ewe -yes-, of course.” She scoffed playfully. “A big home near Nakia’s, with a big balcony like in those American rom-coms you adore watching. We can even act out a few dramatic things like in those drama films.”

“Like Shakespeare?” You hoped, dim brown eyes gaining a spark as she nodded eagerly. “Anything you desire, Y/N.”

“That sounds really nice, love.” You sigh softly, your temple pressing against her cheek as the edges of your vision began to darken.

“Yes it will be. And we can have children, yeah?” She asked, stroking her nose over your subtle and faint skin. “Two of each, just like we discussed.” She promised, hearing the hum twined with a smile you created.

“We will name them after T’Challa…and your Baba…and Queen Mother…and my sister.” You whispered softly, Shuri’s heartstrings being tugged on as a chuckle and sob left her.

“And they will have the strong facial structure and beautiful mind of their mama Shuri.“ your fingers and eyes stroked over her face; taking in the shape and color of her eyes and lovely lips; the structure of her cheeks and jaw; the softest smile looming across her face; doing the same thing you were doing seconds ago.

“Ewe…and they’ll have the eyes and beautiful smile and heart as their mommy Y/N.” Her smile grew as yours did as well, stroking over her brows.

“You will be a great mother, Shuri.” You told her, staring at her with so much love for a future beyond of your grasps. “Our children will be so lucky and blessed.”

“I am going to be the best mother in the world alongside you. Because you made me a better girl…a better woman. You taught me how to be good after everything that has happened, Y/N wam.” She confessed, kissing your cheek.

“You were always good, baby. I cannot take all the credit..very least thank your family.” You chuckle before taking in a sharp breath, eyes shutting for a split moment.

The kimoyo bead she had put—without you noticing—to try and sustain the pain no longer doing anything for you.

“Ingaba ibuhlungu? -Does it hurt?- Shuri gulped as she tried not to look at the large pool of blood that had now tainted over the light brown sand.

“Hayi -no- Shuri. I do not feel pain anymore.” You smiled softly at your love as you lied to spare her feelings, to spare her the guilt.

“That is good.” She nodded, pretending to believe you to spare your own feelings. She began to hum a lullaby your mother once sang to you both, the hum soon turning into a song you happened to love from the internet, gently rocking you in her toned arms.

With her advanced hearing, she could hear that you were barely breathing at that point. The extent of your wounds were too severe, and Shuri was already with the heart clenching knowledge that you were near the end.

“Shuri?” You asked quietly, your voice barely audible but she could hear the slight fear, the sadness, the pain, the love and hurt in that one whisper of her name.

“Yes? I am here.” She assured you as she stroked your face, staring into your glossed eyes.

“Can you kiss me, love? I think you should…as a goodbye. I do not want you feeling regret.” You stuttered your sentence out as you gasped for air, clutching onto her.

Her head shook, a broken sob heaving. “I cannot, Y/N.” She croaked. “I do not want to say goodbye…not again.”

“Do not worry, Shuri…we will see each other again when the time comes, yeah?” You manage to give her a weak smile, lips tinted with your own blood.

Shuri wiped her face from the tears she knew were going to cascade any moment again, nodding with a sniffle before craning her neck to give you a broken, tearful kiss. Not caring for the taste of blood, only basking in one last time of your lips. Of you, trying to give you one of her breaths as if it will help, grasping your face in a gentle desperate matter as you tried meeting her halfway.

When she pulled away, her forehead resumed in resting against yours, ember brown eyes open and gazing into your own.

“Ndiyakuthanda, Shuri wam.” You whispered laying in her arms. -I love you.-

“Ndikuthanda, Y/N wam.” She stroked from your temples to your cheeks and jaw. “And if it’s right…I don’t care how long it takes…as long as I’m with you I’ve got a smile on my face…”she sang softly, her voice cracking into a soft sob.

“Save your tears…it will be okay.” You sang back, her lips rising to kiss desperately over your forehead, once. Twice. Three…you lost count.

“Can Griot play it? One more time? The sunset goes nicely with this, Shuri.” You sigh out, smiling softly as she placed little kisses over every part of your face.

“Anything for you , my love…Griot, you heard her.”

“Yes, Princess. Right away, Y/N/N…” he spoke lightly, both of you smiling at the nickname he’d grown habit to.

“Enkosi, Griot…Enkosi Shuri.” You sighed contentedly as you stared into her eyes. Your blinking got slower and slower until they managed to stay open for the shortest moment, telling Shuri that it was time.

-Thank you.-

“Enkosi, Y/N.” She cried as she held your lifeless frame. “Enkosi, my love…”she chanted brokenly, ignoring the nearby ship and footsteps rushing your way.

“All I know is you’re here with me...” Shuri hummed as she rocked back and forth with you in her arms, basking in the sunset’s light shining down on you.

“Shuri! Y/N!”

Shuri ignored the calls, everything becoming a background as she gazed down at you, tears cascading her cheeks down to your own skin, the song Griot had on repeat being hummed into your ear.

“All I know is you’re here with me.” She told you softly once it ended. “You’re here with me…”

#shuri x reader #angst #shuri angst #broke my heart #black panther wakanda forever

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