somalyson

[somalyson]

There's that one person where everyone says is extremely attractive and you're looking at them thinking to yourself like "good looking? Sure. But attractive? I don't see it." To you, there's just too much of a physicality to them that society normalized as being "attractive". But then there's that one person whom everyone says "I don't know; you can do better." But you're thinking to yourself how can one possibly ask for better when the best is standing right here. Their physical and social flaws just trigger you in all the right ways and you just can't stop staring.

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Jedi Princesses 

Bonus : Sith Ursula 

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Back to basics.

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Eight months ago, I flew all the way to Cambodia to finally meet my dad. I wanted to surprise him so bad. Though I was going with my mom to visit the rest of our family, I had separate plans. My only goal was to finally meet him. However, the universe had a different plan for me. I finally make it to the other side of the world just to know I’ve arrived just a couple months too late. I was told he had already left this world and I felt my heart hit the floor. I don’t know what was going through my mind but I just felt empty. As if everything in me was consumed and I had nothing left. All my plans and goals, all my aspirations, everything that defined me was just…gone. I was done. I may have hit my lowest point emotionally and mentally. What’s worse was that I knew I had the responsibility to pass the horrifying news to my sisters and I wasn’t sure I had the strength in me to speak to them of it. At that point, nothing else mattered. I felt as though the world stopped and I didn’t have the energy within to care for anything else going on around me. Next thing I know, I was on a tuk tuk to the nearest lake and I don’t know what came over me but I decided to just free fall off a cliff down a waterfall into the lake. I wasn’t hurt. At least not physically. But I still had so much pain and anger running through me emotionally. I’ve never been so angry and upset with myself. I was consumed with shame and regret. I never felt more helpless. I hate trying to convey my feelings over the phone. It’s always been easier to express myself through writing or physical conversations. I’d convince myself to be resentful though in fact, I’ve always felt the opposite deep down. It’s my arrogance that’s killing me inside. Father’s Day has always been a little…off for me. I try to withdraw myself from big gatherings. Don’t get me wrong, I have an amazing stepfather. One of the best. I always wish him a happy Father’s Day and let him know in some awkward way that I really appreciate him for everything he’s done for my siblings and I. But can you blame a guy for just wanting to spend one day with his real dad? I have a photo of him next to my bed. And next to it is the Buddha pendant he carved for me since I was a baby. I finally received it last November from my older brother. I whisper to my dads picture every night “I love you Ba”. I know it’s very cheesy and cliché but it does bring me comfort and help me sleep easier. And every morning I wake up, I try to take on the day with a little less shame and regret. I guess that’s my way of coping. Life has a different plan for everyone and you never know what’s the next hurdle that will be placed in front you. But if you really love and care for someone, make sure you give yourself the chance to express that to them. I’ve been told that letting go is the hardest part and it truly is because I still haven’t completely accepted the fact that he’s gone. Apart of me still feels like he’s out there somewhere and apart of me is still figuring out how to forgive myself. I’ve yet to come up with anything that would justify the situation. But everyone, please just do yourselves the favor and allow yourself to be freely open with those you care for.

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Tunnel vision. #Angkor

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Classic #tbt #cousinlove

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Throwback to last night. I'm so in love with her voice. #tbt #chapters @yunamusic (at Chop Suey)

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"I feel a little rush, I think I've got a little crush on you. I hope it's not too much. But babe when I'm with you I hear it, my heart singing......." #crush #chapters @yunamusic (at Chop Suey)

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Excited for tonight! Been having this on replay forever! #yuna #crush #chapters #wcw

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I want me a frenchie!!!😍😍😍

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Mock up done. Onto the real fabric. #fashiondesignstudent #mockup (at Sanford Brown College -Seattle Alumni Association)

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Getting off work just to get back to work. #fashiondesignstudent #suitingtextiles #womensdaywear (at Sanford Brown College -Seattle Alumni Association)

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Some of my own fashion illustrations sketched by hand then scanned and edited on adobe illustrator and photoshop.

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My friend be having too much fun with my hair. He went and bedazzled my scalp!