softyarnball

[softyarnball]

cool girls

As I said, I went to schools with so many cool girls with rich parents. Some are not cool but they also come from rich families. How rich? Very rich. Like the types that would fancy hair ties which cost $20 each 20 years ago! Their stipend is like $25 per week at least.

Most of them are out of public schools (my school) by 15. They went to international schools with hefty tuition and a tons of accompanied fees (rounghly ~$30k - $50k per year). I wonder whether their family has such flourishing businesses because that was a lot. Since the day I came to the US, I don’t think I have spent that much of my parent’s money. That is how insane the money their parents spend on them.

It was just not the money that carry these girls through K-12 and college. They now all have good jobs, good life. I must admit some of them have made a life for themselves in a foreign country. Otherwise, they have good jobs that were prepared for them back home. That was insane amount of money. They never have to lift a finger or worry to stomaches about making a living.

I wonder if my kids will ever be able to do that. I doubt that. But the lives cool girls are having, it would just be dreams for me.

[softyarnball]

a missing friend

I don’t know if I should call her a friend. We were in the same junior high class. We only have forty to fifty something people per class; so we pretty much know each other through puberty through and through. Beyond 15, we just learned about people’s lives through Facebook. 

I was not close with this girl. She belongs in a “cool girl” group. I was not. Her background was not typical for a cool girl as far as I know. To keep up with cool girl activities, I heard she borrow money from one of the most affluent girls who did not hang out with the cool girls. That’s when she gets into troubles.

I wanted to be a cool girl, too. However, deep down, I know that my family is not wealthy enough and I was always encouraged to stay away from that lifestyle that my parents cannot afford. I was a nerd instead. I was not penalized for being one because of my culture and my junior high-senior high environment. She seems to be encouraged to be a cultured kid, considering how much investment her parents put into her: a 12-year education in the most prestigious music conservatory in HCMC.

I feel her, but the older I get, the more adamant I get for her situation and feel that is stupid not growing out of the puberty phase. 15, I know that my parents are not wealthy enough. 15, she still borrowed money from here and there to cover her spending like clothing, hanging out, etc.

We met again at a friend’s funeral. I did not know what she did for a living. I do not want to say a clueless 25 yo but I already have a steady job with growth opportunities. She was pretty much the same as before, trying to be artsy, making comments that err people. I am pretty sure that she made comments about me as I heard her talking to one of the guys, “it’s her, it’s her.” What’s so special about me? I may not hang out with the dead friend that much; but I do want to pay him the last visit, the last respect.

Anyway, a couple years ago, she got married to a guy. He’s normal, if not not-good-looking. Very slow in terms of career-wise. Nevertheless, they seem to be happy with all the fancy furniture and their apartment. I was happy for her because she finally found someone who can accept her for who she is. She finally settles down and be down to earth about herself. Her career, again, I have no idea what she does for a living. Oh yeah, she taught or TAed for an international school. That does not pay too much. I wonder where she gets all the money from.

Fast forward to now, she vanished from Facebook. I have no idea why. I just feel like it must be shitty if she cannot phase out her teenage years. Out of that classroom, who does she want to impress? Or did she internalize the cool girl lifestyle so much so she could not grow up. If so, I don’t think she would marry that guy, a humble looking guy with a humble career.

Anyway. I always wish her well. As someone who face the same dilemma at school, I feel it’s shitty to not get shit together. I am grateful that I have my shit together now. My life could have been hers and hers could have been mine. What a tragedy!

[softyarnball]

Spoiled brat

My brother is such a spoiled brat.

My mom and dad spare every penny to give him the education no one else in their families have. I was a hardcore advocate for him to have a better education with the condition that he must cover his own tuition. It is not too hard for poor international students to get a full-ride/full tuition and fee/nearly full tuition and fee tho. My brother was a paperwork slack and a poor SAT scorer; thus, it is understandable that he cost my parents a lot ($25k/year all covered). He wholeheartedly argued that he can live $17k/year. Mind you, this is a 18yo without ANY life experience arguing against the REAL numbers provided by the school itself. My parents, for no reason, said that “who ever provides the lower number will get our trust.” I was like fine if that’s what you want. I just dont know where you get the money to sponsor him, to which they replied it was none of my business. 

Yup. Those were the parents who scolded me so hard when I was asking if I can study for the SAT. They said that they don’t want to pay for my abroad study because they did not have the money. When they sponsored my brother, they did not have the money either. It was “in their speculation” that they will get compensated for the farmland they had more than 10 years ago, which they still do not have after 3 years from then. At the time of that discussion, one of my friends had to busted out how unfair it was for me, who had to find a fullride. My parents are always ashamed of their double standards; however, they have never admitted that nor offered an apology.

Now that my brother is gnawing more than they expected, they just learned that he is a delusional brat. They cannot blame him tho. Everyone was very clear that a 27 yo living in the USA who can support her own self must know more than a little clueless 18 yo. To my parents at that time, my brother has been better than me, regardless of numerous incidents he has over the years with his disruptive behaviors.

Fast forward a few years to now, he has been growing into a full-blown delusional brat. He is delusional about his ability to “study” at graduate level. From a very young age, he does not like surrounding himself with brighter minded people. Whenever I made a comparison between him and other people, he would tell me yes-I-am-stupid-OK with a fuck-off attitude. That never gets corrected. The group he is working with is a bunch of incapable, delusional Vietnamese graduate students. Of course, they worship my brother so that they can use him as much as they can. 

My brother is also delusional about money. He’s living on my parent’s support and think that would work for the rest of his life. He give no shit about having a secure job that pays the bills. All he can think of is studying, which he is not really the best tho. The funny thing is that he never thinks that my family is giving him good advice. Like everyone is below his league. Mind you I am a legit PhD student who know the ins and outs of working in both academia and industry, I know what he is talking about and obvi he does not work at a forefront of research like he thinks he does now. The situation is so bad that we think there is no way to save him unless he fails every school which he applies to, which is very possible. He was not very successful in his summer research intern tho. I would not bet that he will be able to matriculate a good program. Plus, he made so many people angry; the field is small; people talk; there is no good recipe for success here.

[softyarnball]

Chad

I stumbled on an Instagram post about a girl who used to date a Chad. Chad talked about networking and investing all the time and he showed little girl a proper lifestyle.

That reminds me of someone else. My hs best friend and I used to talk about how people will grow differently, the discussion in which my ex took a spotlight. In a mini-reunion with a group of our HS friends, my ex showed up talking about networking. Other people in the group were my two humanity rich friends who hate giving two shits about making money and being Chad. During the talk, “Chad” also talk about his long-standing obsession with gym and preference going to bars to pick up girls. Chad also made a comment about one of our female HS friend that she was getting chubby. That makes the other two pairs of eyes roll backwards into their skull. Chad does not have a filter whatsoever about the HS friends he was talking to; instead, he went on and on about his philosophy (Rich Dad Poor Dad kind of phil). My friends, one of which is a non-binary, the other does not give a shit about meeting other people, felt very disconnected during the talk. At this point, my HS best friend and me concluded that he must have grown into a frat type of guy. Now it becomes clear to me that he is a Chad, or Chad wannabe.

I am pretty sure that is stable financially and invest in bond and stock - first thing that makes him a Chad. Chad also pays attention to his body building although his hairline is preceeding pretty quickly - second thing that makes him a Chad. Our Chad has been very opportunistic, according to one of two the humanity rich kids - third thing. Chad is bad at reading the room - fourth thing.

However, Chad currently is not very successful with women. I bet he’ll be fine. He may find some younger Becky or sugar baby a few years from now. Anyway, I just realized I used to date a Chad wannabe, what a bullet I dodged ...

[softyarnball]

Talking about standards - Wealth

Wealth and income are two different standards people look so hard into wealth to judge their lifelong partner. Well, that backfires sometimes.

My parents do not have great income; however, for some reason, they can transfer generational wealth (from my maternal grandma) to their own pretty well. It does not mean that they used my grandma for that reason only; my grandma has been very willing to transfer wealth (and multiply it) for her children. As a result, my parents, whose income are not great, have been able to create a few assets for themselves. They even plan to transfer it to me and my brother. Not many of my friends know this considering how far away my place from theirs.

I did not hide that my background is not the greatest background ever. Some of the people may think that they are above me on social ladder because of that. Little that they know that my parents are doing quite okey with their (more than) 2 real estate properties. While many parents choose to live in apartments, my parents calculated the estate accumulation for me and my brother so that even if we are failing behind, we will still fall in their safety net.

This comes really handy in marriage although I don’t feel it should be so. Imagine someone who does not have access to such wealth, marriage could be a nightmare.

Will those people who thought my family does not have generational wealth want to laugh at me for that? Will they crawl back to me when they learn that their marriage prospect is not really that good?

If they genuinely just want to check in with me, they can always do that virtually. Didnt they do that before? The way they push others to ask for my presence makes me think that they have malicious intentions. It must be very heart-breaking for them to learn that my family is comfortable in many aspects.

[softyarnball]

Talking about standards - Education

I have a lot venting about dating, especially with what happened with my ex, and what happens now.

My parents are very conscious of their education when it comes to ‘educate’ me. I have to use educate in quote because it is more than a propaganda program more than teaching me how to think critically and act rationally. The first and foremost thing they emphasize about my dating life is that I must date a city guy.

This hit them hard when I dated my current bf. He is not from “the city” but from a small but culturally rich town. They did not ask me anything about him specifically but went berserk for my choice. My bf comes from traditionally well-educated family within a hundred miles from the citadel. The ancient family was full of mandarins and the nearly everyone in the modern family is either a medical doctor, engineer, lawyer. My bf himself is working towards a PhD degree. So, a very well-educated if not best educated family I have ever met (I knew a few, this has not been best of the best but top 2 I would say). My mom and dad just knew the ins and outs of my bf’s family recently after we have been dating for more than 5 years. My mom was amazed although she was the one who went kaboom with my relationship at first. In retrospect, my family is not well-educated. Only my mom was bright at school, which drives my parents to force me into having a good education. The bad thing about my good education is that my parents are completely blind to the fact that my friends’ parents are very well-educated. They don’t know how rich and higher class my friends are. They made poor decisions on BANNING me from making friends with these kids; instead, they want to control my social circle and limit it to the ones they deem high class. Of course, their perceived higher-class is not as high-class as my friends. So there’s that. This brought me misery in junior and senior high. MISERY. Not only from them, but also from my awareness of my social status. Had my parents been a little bit opened about it, I would not have been so miserable.

Anyway, my main point is that my ex certainly knew about this. Probably it was one of the reasons why we cannot be “together”. I am cool with it. I don’t want to live with someone who constantly compare where we come so seriously.

It was more than 10 years ago. Thing have changed so much since then. My education is changing, for the better. Up until PhD, my challenge was not my ability to learn but my ability to afford education. My ex is still working on his college debt, I suppose. So, education-wise, I don’t think mine is inferior to his. Even if he can afford to enter a good MBA program (easily $70k/year), I am still way ahead in term of education, especially considering how financially limited I am/was.

Yup, so there is that. I know education can change years to come, especially our own education. Our parent’s education is not likely to. Comparing myself to the people from my past is not cool, but comparing where I was 10 years ago and where I am now make me less depressed tho.

I don’t think judging anyone from their origin is good. No one chooses the family they are born into or the situation with which they grow up with. I, my mom, my dad did not choose that. Rather, I think the focus should be on the potential. I had potential back in HS. I just did not have the money. It costs me so much but also brings me the best relationship, the most genuine relationships ever.

[softyarnball]

Why I hate writing papers

Hate is quite a strong word. My feeling is more like it is a very arduous process. When I write blog post, I don’t need to “seek validation” from other people. But dammnnn journal paper is like a common child among too many people.

[softyarnball]

Some guys ...

... cannot swallow the pill of rejection.

I did have some flings during the time I was not in any relationship as many early tweenties do. Some people express interest. In response, I enjoy it but did not have any clear signal whether I want to go ahead. Most of the time it was because they are only my confidence booster, not someone I can tolerate romantically. What they did after that was blocking me, unfriending me on social media. That is hilarious. We are not even a thing. People flirt all the time.

One of the weird things was a guy back in SIXTH grade who was into me did to me. I was like I dont like you and you ruined the genuine friendship, in which I was more irritated by him more than any friendship I enjoyed.

When I was in college, my parents refuse to let me apply to any colleges outside of the city, not to say outside to my country. That college has a very high bar of entrance; however, it was largely unknown because the quality of education is not good. Everyone who has parental support to study aboard look down on that college. So yeah, I was a poor kid left behind in VN was and looked down on  by people who are less capable than me because my parents did not have enough money to afford an aboard college.

The guy who hit on me in SIXTH grade messaged me, exchanged some pleasantries, and then asked me to look at his profile and see where he went to college. I was busy at that time I just laughed off but now thinking back, OMFG. Who does he think he is? A snob. Couldn’t even get into a decent high school. Got money to squander away in a mediocre college in Japan. Pama’s money got him residency in America and again squander in Arizona State. While I was working hard to support myself and managed to be fully funded in American institutions, kids like that think that they are better because of their rich ass parents. This is just sad.

I am in much better shape now. Even if I stayed in Vietnam, I realized that I could have been in much better shape than they are considering how much money I could have earned throughout the years, considering how much financially independent I was.

That guy requested to follow my instagram. I never responded. Fuck off. I dont need people like that in my life.

[softyarnball]

Hitting the wall

I just learned this term, “hitting the wall”, which I am so fond at currently that I need to write a post about it.

I am so afraid of hitting the wall that I have to swallow a collagen pill per day and maintain my look. My friends are hitting the wall as per one of my college friends while I am still look not-that-old. I usually joke with people who I don’t know about my age when I haven’t hit thirty yet. Now it is hard to make that joke anymore without realizing that I am old. My bf is hitting the wall because all of the sugar he consumed. He is denying it but com’on what is that dad bob all about. Some people I know (girls) starts to get fatter; thus older.

The more fearful thing I am afraid of now is that I am running out of eggs. I wonder if I can still be able to have kids when I have a stable job. This is the most haunting concern I have. 

I wonder if possible, would I trade my young look for fertility. I guess one day I would, but not right now. Will it be too late then?

[softyarnball]

Things I did not expect

Recently, two of my HS friends just had a quick reunion in the States. My little bird told me that my ex from HS had not dated any one since then. Everyone was surprised because it was at least 10 years ago.

Dating life must have been hard for him. I just remember that he was hanging out with our other common friends and asked if I could come to hang out. It was during office hours, so my other friends were sensible enough to refuse the request. That was weird.

I think there could be a few reasons why dating life has been a disappointment for him.

Just like my single HS little bird, that ex may have so high standards that he can hardly find love. Looking back, most of the (practical) married couples are like “we were just fooling around” until they cannot leave one another. What high standards can that be?

I once explicitly told him that I want money, lots of money, which I am also currently tell my bf so. The thing is that I want my partner to make money so that we can have a comfortable life. I derive pleasure from squandering my money for extravaganzaaa, not spending my partner’s or my parents’ money. I wonder if this is the deal-breaker for him. He did leave me with a long email detailing how we would not work out. I couldn’t remember what was the exact reason but the vague idea was that he didn’t want me as a lifelong partner. Looking back, it could have been one of the reasons that I have a huge red flag waving on my forehead. I was a poor young girl, with little future prospect while his family can afford his tuition, room, and board in much more expensive country. Of course, I think that his family could have given some sort of disapproval. I mean I was wayy below his standards if you only judge on where I come from (not asset-wise, which I think I have an upper hand thanks to my parents’ frugality). Plus, the blatant gold-digger attitude is definitely a red flag.

Education can also be one. However, as far as I know, a college holder should not have higher standards than me, right? Or it could simply he is looking for is someone with whom he can exchange some intellectual conversations. I cannot say that I am intellectual, considering how I am compared to my bf, but somewhat engageable in those conversations.

Good-looking? Well, that is not a very high bar, considering my appearance. If he wants to have a gym partner, then well, it’s hard. Nutrition can either go to your brain or your muscle. Another point is that while I am slowly hitting the wall (at 30), the wall is smashing his appearance. Hard. It is hard to ask for a same-age good-looking partner without a fortune to rest on. 

Anyway, I feel like standards are good to have, but it also restricts potentially good match. Like the long-term relationship couple I talked about earlier, things happen organically. People build relationship with trust, collaboration, and frustration every now and then. I can’t leave my partner alone in his darkest pit, neither should or does he.

I don’t think that anything from that time lingers so much that he couldn’t date anyone. It was more than 10 years ago, and we were a couple of clueless (late) teenagers. Or was it just me who was clueless? Was he too calculated in our relationship? I should have noticed that earlier.

I have no idea why he thought it was a good idea to ask my friends to call me. I think it was platonically driven. He met quite a few people over the years. I was someone who was close to him during that HS time. I can totally see that it is normal to want to greet and meet.

I still believe that he would have really good marriage prospect. Males don’t really need to get married at this age anyway. While women’s eggs are failing us, men may get younger girls as they age (with money).

[softyarnball]

what a beautiful girl

For no reason at all, I dreamed about my ex last night. My friends and I met him and his girlfriend, who was G-O-R-G-E-O-U-SSS. I woke up and decided to be everyday gorgeous.

My best friend from high school, who were in the same class with me and my ex, always have a burning desire to be more beautiful than all of the exes’ girlfriends and than all of her boyfriends’ exes. Now I just found out that for me being uglier is a fear.

[softyarnball]

ghost from the past

I just cannot pretend that this has not been on my mind the past week. My ex had his Instagram account opened a few months ago. I just found out that he also reactivated his Facebook. This stirs up a series of unpleasant memories, especially with my helicopter parents and how ridiculously unfair and manipulative they have been to me. But that will be for another day.

There was a couple I have heard of a decade ago. The boyfriend went to the same HS with me. He also went to the same college with my ex. He had a girlfriend, who went to the same college with me. They had been in a long-distance relationship forever. They got married 3 years ago and just had their first child just a few months ago. I am secretly happy for them!

The thing is they are simple and unambitious. I admire them the way they overcome difficulties and have a great family in the end. I know that there were some rough patches, some kind of open relationship or something but I am glad that they got together in the end.

We have a lot to do in our current relationship too. We overcame them one by one. Not there yet but we are working to that. Hopefully it will be good one day.

[softyarnball]

cannot be unseen

Before PhD: This article is science

During PhD: p-hacking everywhere

[softyarnball]

Contemptuous

I may have not behaved myself in recent posts about my dad’s side of the family. That is against my dad’s teaching not to be like my second aunt on my mom’s side. However, let me make one thing clear. I have never looked down on my dad’s side. I always think that I am well-educated because of my privilege. 

My dad’s side, by nature, was intrusive, destructive, and rude to me. I do not want to be related to them because of that. They may have tried to talk to me in a literarily way because they thought that was the only way to communicate with me. That is totally wrong. The way to communicate with me is to watch their behaviors and mannerism. Poor behaviors, especially to my dad, only pushed them further away from that side of the family

[softyarnball]

Trying to be behaved

My dad’s side deserves another post because of the way they behaved. Uneducated.

After the fight, which was almost fatal to my dad, the second-youngest uncle, the ninth uncle, the one who is living with my grandparents, sent my dad a text, saying how ‘thankful’ he was for my dad to ruin the family’s holiday. The last time I checked, my dad was the one who almost got murdered.

This uncle, from what I heard, was unemployed for most of his life. He was engaged in some youth gangster activity back in his college and got hit in the back of his head; thus, his behavior is not normal. He once hinted to me that he honestly thought that I should never date my current boyfriend because my boyfriend is not from the city. He kind of added me as a friend on Facebook to advise me (?!?!?). I felt disgusted. Of course, my parents’ relationship with that side of the family was still good at that time. I did not show my true feelings to him. I just ignored his request and his advice. Why should I take advice from a person who could care less about me? Who only appeared to laugh and taught me after 23 years of my life, after I graduated college and already had income on my own? Who is not successful with his personal romantic relationships? Not to say he suffers from some kind of undiagnosed mental illness. From what I observe, not what I heard from my parents, he does have some irregular behaviors, like speaking with a weird accent, and incoherently.

The uncle who hit my dad in the back acts as a medic who takes care of my grandparent’s medicine administering. He had no medical training yet was brave to take the job. Of course, I cannot blame him for not doing the job right, but the results are destructive. This uncle also tried to befriend me on Zalo, the Vietnamese most popular social web. Think WeChat. He said something literarily sounding but so stupid to read tbh. He said: “Hello bạn (WTF!!!). I saw you in the family group. May I ask who you are and can I send you a friend request?” Dude, Zalo has my name on my account. I was like I am under so much pressure that I can’t even deal with this. I just ignored him.

I ignored a lot of people from my dad’s side. At one point, I even blocked them because I do not want them to involve in my personal life bc how intrusive and unconstructive they have been.  My rude behavior was intentional. I hope my dad’s side learn that. My only connection to them is through my dad. After this incident, I am even more disgusted and disconnected from that side of the family.

I always use Google Translate for these posts, just in case I have to share them in the future so that my relatives can see them. Probably they may use one of my cousins to translate. However, I want them to read directly, so that they understand that I DO NOT want to be related, judging by their behaviors over the last 10 years.

[softyarnball]

Genetically under-educated

Continue to that of my dad’s side of the family.

My dad’s side doesn’t care if my dad runs into any financial hardship, wholeheartedly against the idea of me getting all the education I could receive and making use of my dad (and mom) whenever they are wealthy. You may imagine that is the end of everything; however, they are even worse than that.

On the first day of the Lunar New Year, they misinterpreted my dad’s demand to see my grandma - his mother’s health as an accusation of my grandma’s faking her poor health. What they did after that is that they hit my dad on the head from the back, and then punched him hard in his face. TWICE.

My dad was unconscious for some time. The oldest uncle, who was not there soon enough to interfere, asked others why they hit my dad so hard. The third uncle, my most hated cousin’s father, told everyone that my dad tripped on the slippery way out. My oldest uncle did not content with that answer and started a verbal fight with my third uncle. My dad was so afraid of another face-off that he called all off and asked everyone, himself included, to go home.

On the way to the exit, my dad encountered my cousin, my third uncle’s son, who was about to smash anyone in the way, asking if anyone ‘insulted’ his father. My father said things like never mind or go home no one tried to harm your father or similar stuff. Everyone was dismissed.

However, according to my mom, the fight was even worse than that. So large that even the neighbors took notice of such a fight. One of those bypassers told my mom about the noisy stuff involving my dad.

Anyway, the point is that my uncles and aunt are so uncivilized to the point that I can call them under-educated. My third uncle’s family is an undeniable example. His daughter stabbed my back without me even interfering with her life. His son was so under-educated that dared to smash his uncle’s face for ‘insulted’ his dad. Don’t they realize the consequences of such actions? What if my dad fell unconscious? What if it was worse, that my dad was murdered by his very own family? I was overseas. My brother, too. During COVID. Wouldn’t my dad die without seeing his children because someone was bad-tempered?

My boyfriend and I always talk about how impulsive a certain population is in America. Can you imagine that they could kill a person/random people by the sogginess of the sandwich, or how aggressive one person’s driving is? There is no difference in this case. Reckless. Under-educated. Manipulative. Murderous.

I would never forget this. Nor my mom. I don’t know about my dad. It is still his side of the family. A very undereducated family gang. A very greedy one. The thing is that under-educated people tend to breed under-educated ones. Breed fast and so efficiently. So basically, I could, and should safely assume that all of my cousins from that side of the family and their offspring are under-educated. No matter how many advanced degrees they have, their mannerism can never be of an educated one.

[softyarnball]

Gold Diggers

I grew up in a very good household; however, while my mom’s side is quite misogynistic, my dad’s side is deeply anti-intellectual and opportunistic.

My dad’s side is so anti-intellectual that they consider studying is unnecessary, much to the point that they are so uncivilized. They always look to make money out of familial relationships, from siblings, from parents. They ditched my dad whenever he was out of money. They welcomed him with as wide arms as possible whenever he was doing well.

My dad was independent of his side of the family ever since he got married. Before that, he helped his side of the family financially. He once helped his aunt to migrate to the US. That family now lived in NC, not too far away from where I stay now. However, except for a few exchanges when I first stepped into the US, I hardly heard from them. While my boyfriend received snacks and gifts every now and then from his family, my distant relatives, who my dad helped when they were in need, are rarely in contact. I am not surprised. I just don’t care enough. I just acknowledge their ungratefulness like my mom always did.

Ever since he got married, my dad shifted his focus on this little family, to which my dad’s side was furious, so much so that they hated my mom for that. My mom is everything they hate. She wants me to have an intellectual life, or at least have a proper education. She wants separation from that large and dramatic family. That was why they would feel contented if anyone in my family failed. Indeed, they did when I dated my bf. 

When my brother was born 3 months premature, they didn’t even help a dime. They offered to help, symbolically, $33 out of thousands of dollars needed for my brother’s treatment. Another time, my brother was diagnosed with retina detachment, a condition that requires treatment from the leading ophthalmologist in the North. Yet, they did not even care about the financial resources that my parents had to pull to treat my brother. They were willing to receive every penny from my father for my grandmother’s treatment due to old age, although my dad had 8 other siblings who could help at that time.

This time, my brother made the dumb mistake of not studying seriously for the SAT or taking the scholarship application seriously. He’s so spoiled that he would do anything he wanted without considering my parents’ financial situation. So, we have been very frugal these last few years. 

Of course, my dad’s sides, again, did not care. My grandparents sold some of their properties and lived lavishly on that little money from the transactions. My dad was not informed of that, although he did give my grandma some money to help buy a part in that whole colossal property. My grandparents awarded each grandchild who went to college a small amount of money but still remembered to exclude my brother and me. Do they think my dad is hungry for the little retirement money on which they would rely? My dad only says it would be nice that my grandparents have something to rely on when it comes to the hospital and stuff. It is exactly what any reasonable person would think or feel for their parents.