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maybe your fanfic doesn’t have to change someone’s life maybe it can just brighten someone’s day for a bit
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the worst thing about your birthday being right around the corner is that suddenly the passage of time will scare you even more than on a normal day
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screaming, crying, throwing up, as I force myself to write a story i'm very passionate about and love writing and have no obligation to write except that i want to
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the biggest lesson i want to learn is how to stop self sabotaging and how did i learn to discipline myself in the past. how did i manage to enforce these habits on myself to follow daily, only for them to be forgotten? how did i manage to heal, to crawl out of that wretched deep hole, only to realise im starting reverse my steps, little by little. i've become a shell of the better version of me. sure im not in the same shitty place i once was, the shitty person i used to be, but i sure am not the best version of myself that i managed to achieve before. i had a taste of the stars but i started falling before i knew it. my wings are no longer as strong and i do not know why, they flap at a steady comforting pace, but is one that is not strong enough to lift me any higher.
#diary#bring back old me#writing#vent but not vent#might delete ltr lolz#srsly how did i manage to do it#lack of self respect rm mahbe#brb gg pick up my shit and become a new me !!#this is so important !!!!!! i need to be more discipline so that i dokt fuck this up !!!!#do not wanna end up sleeping on the streets
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hyperfixation please stay with me long enough to complete the project. hyperfixation do not fade. hyperfixation finish what you started for the love of god
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probably the best advice I've ever got was from my grandpa when I moved from my town and started a university, he told me to leave the house everytime when I start to feel down, just to go to the park, a supermarket, a bookstore, to even drive in a bus or tram, just be around other people because staying at home all the time kills you; and you know he was right
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something about the coldness of the winter wind is just so good
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i look at long haired fictional men and i clap, i bow, i worship.
i look at long haired kpop men and i clap, i bow, i worship.
i look at normal long haired men i see on the streets and im disgusted, i judge with my whole heart, i consider turning lesbian.
#kpop#diary#ion get it#esp white guys w long hair#ion get it it jst looks ugly asf#yall gg say double standard i call it prefences#long hair like maybe pretty u jeonghan and adore u jeonghan#no one can do long hair like adore u jeonghan#i rmbr reading manhwa and a long hair man popped up and i fell in love#i then realised that my fav characters tend to hv long hair#aka chigiri from blue lock#got more but i forgot#then i thot oh maybe i have a type#i search google#men with long hair#my hopes and dreams were shattered#then i got into kpop#ya kpop is the only exception#mayb it’s the asian face like im attracted to my own kind#i still don’t get it#jeonghan
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“he looks like a gay man, so girly looking” i turn and in my hand is a picture of mingyu—— macho man looking mingyu, the manly looking man mingyu, buff mingyu in a tank top, looking the most manly ever.
#svt#seventeen#kpop#mingyu#diary#papa ik some idols look vry feminine i get it (aka jeonghan) but still got some kpop idols that look vry manly also ok#papa be objective he rly looks manly#no papa they are not gay#no papa i’m not into gay men#yes papa i rly do like how they look#kim mingyu#jeonghan#carat
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merry christmas and happy holidays to all, except those who have wronged me. I send no merriment your way.
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just because idl u now doesn’t mean i look back on our days as friends in disdain and regret. i’ll miss and treasure the days i loved and admired u but ill forever hate the person u are and the person i realised u are today.
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Adorkable Twilight & Friends - “Gift Of Family"
Merry Christmas and Happy Hearth's Warming from us to you!
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