sobasicallyimafreak

[sobasicallyimafreak]

Uhhhhh hey folks who still follow me and are on here after all these years.

So idk if literally any of you even remember who I am which is perfect honestly but just in case you do, you may remember that I went through a pretty pick-me, internalized misogyny, cringe as hell "anti-SJW" phase back like 8-10 years ago I believe?

Well, first I want to apologize to everyone I hurt while I was going through all of that. There is no excuse. Yes, I was very ill informed at the time, but that doesn't excuse the way I talked about other people.

This is also not an excuse, but rather some pretty big developments in my life over that past 8-10 years. This is something that I am working on gradually being more open about in my daily life.

I've never made it a secret that I'm queer. The specific label has changed, as it does for most people. Right now and for the past several years, I have used the labels of lesbian and gay more than any others

But there have been some more major developments in the past decide or so. Two years ago almost to the day, my therapist asked me if I had ever been evaluated for ADHD. A self screener and 20 minutes later, and I had a referral to a psychiatrist who could actually diagnose me and get me on meds. That was never enough though. I've been doing a bunch more hard work both in and outside of therapy, and I have come to a conclusion.

I am autistic. My parents thought so growing up, a handful of my teachers thought so growing up; hell, looking back, my peers definitely thought so growing up. But no one ever brought me in to get tested. So instead, I grew up thinking that everyone else had it just as hard as I do, but I clearly had some kind of personal or moral failing that meant that I couldn't keep up like they all could.

At a very young age, I internalized that I needed to truly accept and absorb what the majority believed so that I would stick out less. I internalized this so hard that I didn't even consciously think it anymore. I was confused and hurt and upset every time that I could no longer take acting in a way that's counter to what is natural for me and snapped and had to take time out to recover. Although it is no excuse, I realize now that I simply absorbed the harmful phobias and isms that society drills into us and clung to that so as not to be singled out further.

I am actively a more open and accepting person now, and I wish that I had had better support and encouragement throughout my life so that I did not get sucked in by that harmful rhetoric

Thank you to those of you who actually read this!! Please feel free to use any pronouns you would like to refer to me; I have never thought to explore how different ones feel

[sobasicallyimafreak]

listen. aging into your thirties rocks. yes your joints get a little creaky. yes you can’t sleep in a pretzel on the floor anymore after a concert or a convention. and you lose some friends. but the thing is that you sort out who your real friends are and you sort out who you really are. and you get to see your friends settling into careers they like, and adopt new dogs and cats, and you find a job you can stand, and get really good at arts and crafts, and maybe that book you loved as a kid gets a movie deal and it doesn’t suck, and you learn to like new food and bake your own bread, and you realize that the great portfolio of self harm scars you all used to curate are going white with age and not updated, and half your friends are a different gender now and so much happier and maybe you are too, and you know who you are, and that it’s a journey and not a revelation. it’s a direction you’re headed, and you’re enjoying the trip.

reaching your 30′s rocks. and i’m hearing good things about what comes next, too.

[sobasicallyimafreak]

[sobasicallyimafreak]

American Pie by Don McLean is such a long and esoteric song poem that at any given point in my life, there’s been at least one line where I’ve gone “he wrote this for me at this exact moment in my life”

[sobasicallyimafreak]

where's that quote abt like. being embarrassed abt the thinness of ur life the way ur embarrassed by a threadbare piece of clothing. bc like yeah

[sobasicallyimafreak]

forget the Internet things that would be incomprehensible 2 years ago phenomenon

where is the appreciation for Internet things that you could show to someone from 3000 BC and be almost sure they’d get a kick out of it

[sobasicallyimafreak]

watching this youtube video about victorian haircare wherein the woman testing the products out inhales so much alcohol fumes she gets tipsy and that’s joining lead in everything, corsets, and doctors who cured hysteria with vibrators in “reasons why victorian women loved fainting”

[sobasicallyimafreak]

This week for Fat Bear Friday see 480 Otis showing us the secret to being a 4 time Fat Bear Week champion.

Minimum effort for maximum return.

exploreorg

[sobasicallyimafreak]

green house

[sobasicallyimafreak]

i hate that post that’s like “wizard hat cowboy brim” because the full outfit that someone added onto it isn’t even remotely cowboyish. if ur gonna try to combine these aesthetics make a fucking effort. if zamigo did it you can too

[sobasicallyimafreak]

I can't believe they made Barbie a furry

[sobasicallyimafreak]

Hi Would You Like To Talk To Me About Dinosaurs?

[sobasicallyimafreak]

[sobasicallyimafreak]

Harley Quinn 3.09 | Climax at Jazzapajizza

[sobasicallyimafreak]

As we enter Over the Garden Wall season, remember: Friends don’t let friends pigeonhole Over the Garden Wall as being about death and the afterlife and Dante’s Inferno.

[sobasicallyimafreak]

“Oh that animal doesn’t LIKE you it just TOLERATES you” …..So? If that’s the most a non-social organism can feel towards you isn’t that just as special an honor as whatever it is you think affection means??

[sobasicallyimafreak]