snixuality - Tumblr blog

[snixuality]

santana ✄ lopez moodboard ( 1 / ? )

↪ everyone knows my job here’s to look hot. 

[snixuality]

drumsandnails:

Don’t worry I didn’t die. My mom’s friend Debbie’s Uncle died and Mom guilted me into going back with her for the funeral. I mean it was like a six day drinking binge for me so I can’t complain. Did I miss anything good?

Damn. And here I was hoping your stents had finally called it quits and collapsed. 

[snixuality]

imessage 🍰 kurtana

KURT: I suppose so.

KURT: What am I getting out of this, exactly?

SAN: My kick ass companionship, obvs.

SAN: You wanna get laid, right?

SAN: I make a great wingwoman.

[snixuality]

imessage ★ pezberry

Rachel: In my opinion, you're not likely to ruin a good thing. Friends with benefits rarely remain that way, because lines get blurred, and feelings develop.

Rachel: If you have feelings for someone, you should tell them. You never know if that person feels the same way.

San: right. a nd thtst's going so well 4 5 uo and FInn.

San: s he's so out of mey league .

[snixuality]

imessage 💥 samtana

sam: i've always got your back, san

sam: even though you're a star wars hater - but we're working on that.

sam: was it something to do with ryder getting hit in the face ?? i've been trying to get him to let me investigate and press charges but he's not really sayin' much.

sam: you really think so ? well that's ... good to ... y'know ... know.

san: it's not gonna happen.

san: i have a hunch that ryder's a total loser, but i know for a fact he's not the snitching type.

san: am i not making myself clear? you're the hero here; man up and do something about it.

[pause]

san: and don't forget to gimme the deets when you do.

[snixuality]

imessage 🌸 brittana

BRITT: The zoo ??????????

BRITT: I haven't been to the zoo since Lord Tubbington let out a python and we found him adopted by a family of sloths. Now he only crawls backwards.

BRITT: You're so cute ;-)

SAN: Are you psychic, or something? You read my mind (;

SAN: I thought maybe it'd be just us? So LT's not invited, especially if he's banned.

[while smiling stupidly to herself]

SAN: I'm a lot of things, B. But cute's not usually one of them. Jsyk.

[snixuality]

drkittywildemd:

I’m sure that whatever shit I spew is more appealing than liquid silicone that I’m sure comes out in flecks whenever you open your mouth. 

Shitting on plastics is so retro, especially when you walk around looking like a thumb on a daily basis.

[snixuality]

claringtxn:

I’m definitely trying to take advantage of this weather before we all have to experience the cold, which made me decide to walk around midtown on my day off. While I was in the midst of walking, I witnessed two middle aged men fighting over a purse of some sort. Naturally, I stopped because there was no way to go around them, and one proceeded to ask me, and I quote, “What are you looking at pretty boy?” I know I’m pretty, yes, but I can’t help but feel as if they meant that in an offensive way. In fact I know that was meant in an offenseive way. 

Maybe if you weren’t taking up the whole sidewalk, I wouldn’t have had to stop and stare while the two of you were fighting it out. People in this city lack common sense sometimes, I swear. 

I’m sensing a lot of homoerotic undertones here. Exactly what were you looking at, Pretty Boy? ‘Cause rule number one’s to avoid eye contact at all costs. 

[snixuality]

drkittywildemd:

Hello, internet. My agent said that being more active on social media was important for publicity, but considering that my latest royalty check had six digits in it, I’d say it’s useless. But, I’m not going to ignore a woman who I pay five digits to, so here I am. Hey, losers and lezzies. Kitty Wilde, in the flesh. I’d say it’s nice to meet you, but I’ve already been followed by four fetish porn blogs, so I think I’ll hold off the ass-licking. But you’re all welcome. 

Your agent’s a genius. Like, why splurge for the hardcover when we can get up close and personal with the shit you spew for free? 

[snixuality]

imessage ✉ quinn

QUINN: Why does this feel like I"m just giving you more ammo?

QUINN: What do you want me to say? That I'm bored? I'm bored. The most excitement I've had in at least six months was apparently a bathroom tryst, but I wouldn't know, because I can't remember.

SAN: 'Cause your panties are permanently bunched.

SAN: But you're afraid to dump him, why?

[snixuality]

imessage ★ pezberry

Rachel: Then explain it to me, Santana. I know you're highly intoxicated, and texting is never a drunk person's friend, but I'm having trouble understanding you right now.

Rachel: Do you have feelings for someone? Is that what's gotten you so worked up?

San: yeah ye ss, i justd dont wanstt to rui n a godo thing

San: its sex. used to be just sex but nwot abymore

San: it'ssomuch more

[snixuality]

imessage 🌸 brittana

BRITT: History

BRITT: I didn't manage to finish with it, so. Totally a tease. A cock block. Clit block?

[typing]

BRITT: Oh

BRITT: my god

BRITT: MADAGASCAR?

SAN: Wait, didn't they make it to Antarctica?

SAN: Alright, no. Not exactly.

SAN: You're getting warmer, though.

SAN: Think pre-lemur. Before the jailbreak.

[snixuality]

imessage 💥 samtana

sam: i don't think you're catching my drift, santana ... as a sergeant of the law i can't agree in writing to help you with anything illegal because that could be used as evidence against me ... which is why i'm NOT trying to suggest that you show me the ticket when i see you again and you should definitely NOT expect me to take care of it.

sam: WINK WINK, NUDGE NUDGE.

sam: wanky truth or dare ? that sounds dangerous. and what kinda beef ? like was it marinated or bbq or something ?

sam: blaine's hosting karaoke now ? that's like ... cool ... so how's he ... y'know ... doing ? i haven't seen him in ages but y'know, that's totally normal because i only see him like, through work and sometimes at the shack so i don't expect him to like, have even really noticed i was gone, but i was just kinda curious like, because y'know he's a friend and i care about my friends y'know, like yeah.

san: oh.

san: i take it back.

san: no bbq, just a hell of a lot of salt. there was a literal beatdown, gups. and you weren't even there to tase a bitch.

san: he hasn't called the cops since school started, so maybe he's finally munchkin king? my guess is he's been holdin' out for a hero, if you catch my drift.

[snixuality]

imessage ✉ quinn

QUINN: Another picture to delete? I appreciate the offer, but no thank you.

QUINN: Are you a bartender because you get off on the drama of other people?

QUINN: I don't understand why you care if I'm unhappy in my 'hetero' relationship, unless it's just a convenient distraction from your own drama.

SAN: Okay, I can sniff out a liar, and you freaking reek.

SAN: I get off on a lot of things, but your sad little life could be one of them, sure.

SAN: It's a win-win. I get the inside scoop I'm looking for, and you get a bitch sesh free of charge.

SAN: Besides, I'm a bartender. I can help.

[snixuality]

imessage 🌸 brittana

BRITT: You're sweet, San, but I'm nothing special. Maybe you need your eyes tested.

BRITT: Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough!

BRITT: Except a beer bottle. Please don't try that.

BRITT: A farm?

BRITT: Drag racing? You know I'm not allowed to drive cars anymore...

SAN: Who told you that? They're way wrong.

SAN: ...That's asking for a yeast infection.

[...]

SAN: Closer, but think bigger.

SAN: And better.

SAN: Old McDonald doesn't keep penguins.

[snixuality]

imessage 🍰 kurtana

KURT: I don't have photographic evidence but if she says she's a girl, she's a girl. I'm not going to question it.

KURT: The boys think so too.

KURT: I'm not denying anything.

SAN: Suit yourself. I'm not gullible or blind enough to ignore the 5 o'clock shadow.

[pause]

SAN: Do we have a deal, or not?

[snixuality]

snixuality:

ibettheducksinthehat:

“Did you know that vibrators were originally invented by the Victorians as a cure for ‘female hysteria’?” Brittany asked around a mouthful of ice cream, blue eyes wandering the corners of the room before settling on Santana’s expression. Offering a careful smile before continuing. “The doctors got bored of having to give women orgasms by hand and they kept getting finger cramps. So they came up with Granville’s Hammer to do the job. I read about it when working on my time-machine.” She paused. Things between her and Santana had been…no different. Hooking up had been amazing, of course, but they’d yet to speak about it. In all honesty, they hadn’t even really acknowledged it; a fact that Brittany couldn’t help but revisit almost constantly. Perhaps it was silly for her to expect so much from so little; sex was often (too often) just sex. And although she was grateful that things weren’t weird or different between them, it hurt to think that maybe–maybe–it hadn’t meant as much to Santana as it had done to her. “I just thought that was cool,” she mumbled, glumly poking at her dessert. She shifted on the spot, long legs uncrossing and drawing up to her chest as she warily eyed Santana from across the bed. Almost shy around her friend. “So…are we playing?” The implications and consequences of the game were daunting, incredibly so, but still Brittany bit her lip in anticipation, hoping that Santana was equally as eager to get started.

For weeks they had tiptoed around, giggling and testing the boundaries of this new and improved relationship, so Santana had brought Brittany home for what felt like the first time, but in actuality was probably the fifth or sixth. After careful consideration of their needs, they had settled into something along the lines of best friends with benefits, but if her lifelong experience as Puck’s booty call was anything to judge by, this felt much, much different. “I did not,” she laughed around her own mouthful of ice cream, scooping at the rest of the mess in her bowl and looking away before Brittany could catch her staring. She had been doing an awful lot of looking lately. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, all things considered, but even that had changed somehow. Now, she paid less attention to the swell of her breasts, and more to the crinkle of her nose when she laughed hard enough, the divots in her cheeks when she smiled, and the length of her lashes, batted so frequently in her direction. She liked these fun facts, and the utmost seriousness in which they were delivered. She liked her honesty, and the stone cold frankness that most people overlooked. She liked sleeping with her, even when she nosed her way into her armpits first in the morning. And, yes, she had absolutely rigged the event for her own personal gain, but liking the sex, of all things, seemed insignificant in light of so many new discoveries. “It is cool,” she reassured her with a touch to the knee, “and since I know for a fact you’re better in the sack than Granville’s Hammer, we gotta play, so. Truth or dare?”

brittana f2f