smokemysympathy
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smokemysympathy · 1 year ago
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Positive self talk is so important. You can either speak life or death over yourself and it has such a big impact. Telling yourself every day that you can do this, that you are strong, that you are deserving of love, that you are doing your best, that you are proud of yourself will reduce so much stress. You will feel so much better if you replace the negative self talk with positive affirmations.
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smokemysympathy · 1 year ago
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Being slow in life is fine. Taking longer to figure life out than others is not a bad thing. Lots of super successful people were late bloomers, who knows what amazing things you could accomplish once you heal more.
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smokemysympathy · 1 year ago
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smokemysympathy · 1 year ago
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Sometimes you really just gotta get up, grab life by the balls, and do the damn thing.
Plain and simple.
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smokemysympathy · 1 year ago
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I can’t keep trying to fit myself into a space I clearly don’t fit. It’s exhausting. I have to let go because I fit just perfect somewhere. But if I go no where I’ll never find my somewhere and that’s more than I can bare.
I can keep all the pieces of me I ripped out trying to squeeze in all those years. I am worth of love just how I am. I fit perfect somewhere.
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smokemysympathy · 1 year ago
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I think it’s time to save yourself, prove them wrong baby
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smokemysympathy · 1 year ago
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I don’t want to go.. I have to go. I have to chose me. Unapologetically selfish because I’ve seen where being selfless gets me.
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smokemysympathy · 1 year ago
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Honestly it’s okay. It’s just anatomy. Yes you made me but I can choose to not let you break me. I’ll be okay but, unfortunately, I’ll only be okay far away from all of you.
I love you even if I have to cross the street when I see you.. I hope you understand.
Forever and always.
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smokemysympathy · 1 year ago
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I can’t forgive you but it’s okay
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smokemysympathy · 1 year ago
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I can’t change where I came from but I can choose where I end up
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smokemysympathy · 1 year ago
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Just wake up everyday and do your fucking best, fuck everything else baby.
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smokemysympathy · 1 year ago
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If you stop now this was all for nothing..
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smokemysympathy · 2 years ago
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You can’t push everyone away and then wonder why they’re gone
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smokemysympathy · 2 years ago
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One day I’ll find my way.. but I don’t think today is that day and I think that’s okay
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smokemysympathy · 2 years ago
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Don’t ask me to stay because I can’t.
I can’t stay in any situation that hurts because I’ve stayed in too many for too long.
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smokemysympathy · 2 years ago
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I’m not here to complain about my life because compared to most I have been beyond blessed.
But I am broken.. I’m worried I’m broken beyond repair and that’s what I need to talk about. Is it possible to be too strong for too long ?
When I was younger I used to hold all this weight with such grace and poise, floating through life like a raft on Spring Break gliding on Lake Havasu despite all the drunk college fucks knocking it over, splashing, and sinking it. Regardless that motherfucking raft was gonna continue to float and let me tell you it did, I saw it. Now to you that might not sound graceful but to me that is as graceful as anyone can get.
Everyone has their shit. No one’s life is a walk in the park and you are ignorant to think that anyone’s life is a walk in the park. Everyone has weight to carry, some heavier than others, but you’re a true dick head if you sit and compare your weight to other people’s… to each person it’s heavy regardless.
Yes my childhood sucked but who’s didn’t.. good thing I’m not here to talk about that.
I’m here to talk about the fact that at 7-17 I could hold the weight of the world on my shoulders and no one would even know. How can u be so strong at that age and at the ripe age of 24 I’m such a weak little bitch. When I was little I could sign my own elementary school papers by learning my moms signature perfectly. I figured out how to get money for whatever I needed. I cleaned my clothes, took baths, did my homework, and went to bed on time w no complaints or guidance from anyone. I dealt with my moms addictions and the abuse that came with it. I learned how to handle the withdrawals she had and how to make sure she didn’t die without calling for help. I handled all of her and all her boyfriends with such maturity and strength. I handled my father leaving along with the rest of my family. I handled my brothers abuse and mistreatment in such a way I can’t even explain. I was indestructible. I was resilient and amazing. In middle school I continued doing the same things but I was genuinely okay and happy as long as I wasn’t home. In high school I was a little weaker, I will admit. A lot more got to me at that point but I never coward or laid down to anything and nothing could hurt me. I put on that smile every fucking day regardless of how I truly felt. I was so fucking strong. I wish I could give that girl a hug, because damn, she deserved one. I wish in those times I knew how amazing I was.. no one else needed to know but she, little ol’me, needed to know. She deserved to know… and she deserved that hug.
Now here I am 24.. I can’t handle a minor Fucking inconvenience…
I cry.
I hide.
I run.
I fucking crumble.
Life has gotten easier in a lot of ways but harder in some which you can expect. Life will never be easy but man being a girl who was so fucking untouchable to becoming a woman who is so accessible has broken my spirit.
I never thought I’d be searching for the little girl I was, I thought I’d be proud of the woman I become through the trials and tribulations of my life. But here I am longing for the strength of her. I miss her. Some days I can’t believe I was her… because she was truly extraordinary and I wish she had known how magnificent she really was because maybe she wouldn’t be so fucking broken now.
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smokemysympathy · 2 years ago
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When I found out I was shook to the core.. scared and broken into pieces. Not broken bc of you but broken bc I didn’t know what future I had in store for you. I didn’t know if I could give u the life I wanted for u nor if I could give u the love I knew u deserved and that’s what broke me. It was my job to give u the best but I don’t know if the best thing for u was to be here w me. It makes me sad.
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