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Old habits die screaming
Matty Healy and Taylor Swift have been rumored to have something going on for over a decade, when they finally both publicly announce their relationship, the shitstorm is huge. They break it off again shortly after. The only problem is: Taylor is still very much in love with Matty. What she doesn't know is that he feels the same.
"Sorry, I can't sleep", I texted my best friend Abigail. I had to let him go, for fuck's sake. I just can't stop thinking about him.
"Taylor, babe, it's 2 am and I have to be up early tomorrow. I can call you for 10 minutes, but I'm begging you, please let me sleep right after." Of course, she answered, she always does.
"No, it's alright, go back to sleep." I'm a grown woman, I can handle this.
"Abigail, I said, go back to sleep." "Taylor we've been best friend since forever, I'm always here for you, even at 2 am on a random Tuesday. Now tell me, what's going on? You're thinking about him again, aren't you?" Yes, of course I am, I just can't stop thinking about him. "Yeah. I just feel like I'm going crazy right now. We've been on and off for ages, but this time it feels different. I don't think he's coming back, Abigail." I can't imagine a life without him anymore. I've loved him for 10 fucking years, and I'm ready to love him for at least 10 more years. "Babe, don't you think it's time to move on? He has hurt you and your reputation a million times already, and it fucking hurts seeing you this miserable." My reputation. Why is everyone, including myself, so obsessed with this? "I know okay? I know. It's not that easy, though. I feel like, it's my fault he ghosted me. Don't try to blame him now, please, I would've done the same in his situation. Did you read the horrible things they said about him online? I can't imagine how this must feel like." It really is my fault, though, isn't it? But what could I have done differently? Should I have called them out on their behavior? I probably should have. "I understand that this is as hard for you as it must be for him right now, but what can you do? Please don't text him, Taylor! You're only hurting yourself if you do.", Abigail's voice sounds desperate. She knows how hard it is to convince me of something. "I won't. Please go back to sleep now. I'm sorry I woke you up in the first place.," I said in a defeated voice. "No worries, I couldn't sleep anyway", I know she's lying, "I hope I was able to help you a little. Good night, Tay, I love you so much." "I love you more, good night.," I said and hung up.
What now? As much as I love Abigail, this conversation didn't help much.
Writing. I should start writing again. It's my job, of course, but it's also the only healthy coping mechanism I could think of right now. I'm wide wake anyway, so what else could I do right now. I have started writing a song called "I can fix him (No really I can)" I want to do something the 1975 inspired because that's what this is all about of course. Matty Healy. Lead singer of the famous British band "the 1975" but also my decade long situationship. We met years ago, and I was obsessed with their music. He dedicated their song "Fallingforyou" to me once, so I'll dedicate a song to him now. No, fuck this, I'll write a whole album.
"They shake their heads saying, "God help her", when I tell them he's my man."
I hate all of this. Him leaving me because some assholes couldn't keep their mouths shut about my love life. He didn't do anything! At least he actually cared about me and wanted to fight for us, unlike some other ex-boyfriends of mine... Yes, he has made mistakes, but so have I. Nobody is perfect. I don't understand why everyone thinks I am? Matty left because he thought it would be the best for me. He couldn't have been more wrong. I hadn't had a good sleep in weeks and when I finally drift off into sleep he's all I dream about. He's quite literally haunting me right now. I wonder if he feels the same about me. Was any of this real to him, or was he disappointed when he finally had me after all these years of yearning? I know I promised Abigail I wouldn't text him again, but he deserves to know the truth.
"Hey Matty, are you up?", I sighed as I hit send. He's probably asleep anyway.
"Who's this? And how did you get my number?" Shit, I forgot that I got a new number, since the other one was leaked last week.
"Sorry, it's Taylor. I've got a new number. I didn't want to disturb you." I already know this was a bad idea, but it's too late now anyway.
"Hey, you didn't. I was still up. Has anything happened? I'll call my management."
"No, don't worry I just wanted to tell you, that I'm sorry for everything that's happened lately. I should've stood up for you, when my "fans" started attacking you like this."
"Don't worry, Taylor, it's fine." God, he sounds so distant. I don't even recognize him like this.
"No, Matty it's not, and you don't deserve any of this. I don't know why I texted you in the first place, but I just wanted to let you know, that it was real to me." I'm so stupid oh my god. He probably doesn't even care about me anymore. Otherwise, he couldn't have just ghosted me out of the blue, could he?
"Of course it was real to me too! I loved you, I loved you so very much, but this is all too much right now. I'm not good for you or your reputation. You're an amazing woman, and I'm not going to stand between you or your success." I can't do this anymore. He loved me. Past tense. It's really over. He's not coming back. Never. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. What was I even thinking? Of course, it's over, the whole world knows. Why did I think, this was a good idea?
"Thank you, Matty. I love you very much as well. I'm sorry things didn't work out the way we both wished they would. Sleep well and have a good night.", I sent with tears forming in my eyes, and shut my phone off for good. I drifted off into a deep, uncomfortable sleep, filled with nightmares.
#matty healy#musicians#taylornation#taylor swift#the tortured poets department#2014 tumblr#slow burn#fanfic#i cant write#first post
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I PROMISE you we are not on the same level or mustache era appreciation
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Upcoming fanfic y'alllll
I wrote the first chapter of a Matty x Taylor fanfic and I don't know if I should post it here as well. Would any of you be interested in reading this?
#matty healy#actors#fanfic#taylor swift#the 1975#the tortured poets department#mattyandtaylor#first post#i cant write
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i’m so excitedddd
Cigarettes & Wine | M. Healy
Matty and Sadie have known each other for too many years to count now, but they sure like to tiptoe, sugar coat, and beat around the bush. How long will it take them to finally face their feelings? Will they ever?
Photographer!au. Coming soon.
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i wanna dance with george as well
type of cuntiness you can only dream of
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and most importantly tell you which books i absolutely HATED
I am just a simple girl, take me to a bookstore and I will tell you about each book I have read, about my tbr, about the genres, and will probably give you 100+ recommendations even if you haven't asked for.
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Chicken Shop Date | Part 3 |
By @imagine-that-100 and @alovesreading
Description: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | You and your best friend Amelia came up with a very simple idea of taking celebrities on awkward chicken shop dates, and somehow, it’s managed to become both of your jobs. In the past, you’ve found sitting across from some of the biggest stars on the planet and eating chicken nuggets easy. But then Amelia manages to score you a date with the man who you’ve been obsessed with since you were nineteen; Matty Healy.
Word Count: 24.6k
A/N: Bestiessss, we’re backkkk!!! And this new part is a good one, it might be my favourite. Me and A have become obsessed with Matty and Baby’s story (Yes, she got a cute nickname like Wheels and it stuck lol) and we can’t wait to share more. There’s going to be at least 6 parts to this story as we can’t stop writing. We really hope you enjoy this new part as much as we do and thank you so much for reading x
| Part 1 | Part 2 |
| N’s Masterlist | A��s Masterlist |
The day Being Funny dropped, you’re sure you listened to it through at least 30 times. Both listening to it completely transfixed like you were the first time, and having it on in the background when your best friend came around.
When Amelia came to yours, you got so deep into recounting the events of the night before that you didn’t realise what the time was when your phones started blowing up. Your storytelling had distracted you from realising the date and that your scheduled video of yours and Matty’s chicken shop date had been posted, it was finally out for everyone to see.
The both of you had to pause your story to post on all your social media platforms and when that was done, you sighed looking back up to your best friend who is already looking at you in desperate need for you to continue talking. When you finished telling her, she was gobsmacked at every little detail, from Matty phoning you to come back into the venue, to him kissing you outside your building and following you inside, to holding his hand during the album, to him climbing into your bed and the both of you sleeping beside each other.
Keep reading
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because it’s either 100% men or not good enough for men xx
the barbie movie very explicitly said that men also suffer under the patriarchy and should support rather than compete with one another and are good enough just by being themselves and shouldn’t define themselves around a woman or relationship and somehow that wasn’t positive enough
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I have this skill where I hear one note of a Taylor Swift song somewhere in public and my spine straightens and my head tilts up like I am the goddamn winter soldier being activated but instead of going on a murder spree I just say to my friends "Taylor Swift is playing" and they think I'm insane
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the bond between a girl and their favorite fictional man is both an unstoppable force and an immovable object
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the next met gala theme should be swifties. not taylor swift, but swifties
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taylor after performing some of the most devastating and heartbreaking songs of her discography 😭
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