slowly-burning-in-sarajevo

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]

James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]

some pictures from Gus Van Sants new book ❤️ i found this at a bookstore and thought it was cool it includes all the stills from all of his movies [sorry for the glare on the first pic lol]

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]

i. there's three stages of wound healing (sometimes considered four, depending on the document). the last is largely invisible; called remodeling.

ii. they tore down my high school.

iii. the final wound healing stage happens below the dermis, after the scab has flaked off. it is a slow process involving repairing muscle and tissue - and often replaces lost viscera with scar tissue.

iv. i can't remember the order of it, but i know it went something like - pink blue purple white. since you braided it for me, i wore the bracelet for two years, long after it had started to disintegrate.

v. remodeling can last up to a year.

vi. i'm getting surgery soon. medically included hole. i can't wear metal during the process, so i have to take off all my jewelry. i told you once, right - i've been wearing this ring every day since i was 22. i'm worried about my cartilage piercing - i've never had to take it out before, i don't know how to put it back in.

vii. it is possible for skin cells to begin to lose their ability to duplicate, thereby losing their ability to heal. this might happen, for example, when a wound has not completed the remodeling stage but a second wound interrupts the healing process. repeated trauma causes a breakdown on the cellular level.

viii. can a body be a church? there is a vaulted difference between life's call before and the echo, resounding - after, after, after. the ringing click of heels on a stone floor. without looking, i know the steps are always leaving.

ix. scar tissue has no blood. it cannot coagulate. injury to scar tissue does not follow the same wound healing cycle as normal tissue.

x. it's okay. the high school had asbestos. the bracelet was something you made in five minutes. my abdomen will be professionally stitched back together. the worship i wasted will leak somewhere else, onto a different sun, a different life. a different poem.

-- "How do you heal?" ... well stefan frankly i don't // r.i.d

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]

“There is only your glance against so much emptiness, / only your light against extinction,”

— Pablo Neruda, from love sonnet ���XC,” The Poetry of Pablo Neruda, ed. Ilan Stavans (Farrar, Straus, and Giroux, 2003)

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]

I keep inviting people to my apartment so I don’t have to be here alone

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]

News From Home (1977), dir. Chantal Akerman.

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]

Polaroids by Andrei Tarkovsky

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]

haven't written any depressing shit on here for a long time

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]

hey there, been a long-time follower and love your tumblr handle.

hi :) thank you. it's also a bit misleading; I'm not actually from sarajevo. not v active on here these days but don't desert me.

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]

beauty in chaos

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]

Patrick von Kalckreuth (Kiel 1898-1970 Starnberg)

“The North Sea”  oil on canvas,-1955

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]

so the megalodon is most definitely extinct? how do scientists know?

well, the thing about large predators is that they leave an impact on an ecosystem big enough that you can tell they’re there, even if you never observe one directly. in this case, we know they’re definitely extinct because of the behavior of whales! whales used to max out at about 50 ft long and were fast and agile, entirely because of predation by megalodon!

but about 2 million years ago, our whales began to rapidly increase in size until we ended up with real monsters like the blue whale. this pretty directly lines up with the extinction of megalodon, and the removal of the pressure they were putting on large whale populations.

basically, large whales can get away with being gigantic, slow tanks in the oceans today because there simply isn’t a predator big enough to take them on anymore. if megalodon still existed, we would be seeing its impact on whale populations! whales would be smaller, and a hell of a lot more skittish than they are.

everything in a given ecosystem is connected, and you can often get important information about the unknown parts by observing the behavior of other parts of the ecosystem.

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]

flower

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]

trying to play hard to get while being hard to want

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]

Privately, however, she knew herself better. Knew herself for what she was: a great failure at solitude. Sluicing through her twenties illuminated only by the glow of terrestrial television, finding much to her dismay at the age of twenty-nine that she longed to amuse and to be longed for. A faint life. Eating apricots and growing bony and forgetting how to talk to people. Loneliness like a taste on the skin.

— Julia Armfield, Salt Slow; ‘Granite’

[slowly-burning-in-sarajevo]