sleepynoise

[sleepynoise]

My rage is something I consistently burry in, I consistently drown in. It’s the sand in the ocean that falls beneath the waves over and over and over and over again, sinking, further and further and further and further

Until

It explodes.

And a tsunami follows in its path, wave after wave.

It tumbles even the biggest of buildings

It doesn’t stop. I do not know how to stop it.

And the water will eventually drain bringing the sand with it to be buried again, only to rise again

Do not waste your time on me, my rage will consume us both and leave you an empty shell, leave me when you have to chance

Do not stay with someone who doesn’t know how to cope.

[sleepynoise]

I’m am so using this prompts

can you do single sentence prompts of enemies that love each other?

I can certainly give it a shot! I'll make a big old master list for you.

"always a pleasure to see your beautiful face after being kidnapped,"

"Why does it hurt whenever I point my gun at you?"

"I always check who they've captured, the thought of you being one of them, it scares me,"

"just defect! I'll vouch for you!"

"I've always hated your kind, but I just can't hate you,"

"I got the news that your home was bombed, please just contact me back,"

"I should kill you, I really should,"

"we're messed up aren't we?"

"do it, pull the trigger. I bet you can't"

"your daughter, look, I'll get her out,"

"the first time I saw you, you were killing my people, I hated you. I hated you so much,"

"Just thinking of hurting you, hurts me,"

"I saw you the other day- no I am not stalking!"

"how's the nose? I didn't break it too bad did I?"

"I said I was sorry! what else do you want from me?"

"Oh hello, still alive? I'm glad."

"you look beautiful hunting me,"

"I love it when all your attention is on killing me,"

"oh wow, I'm glad you dodged,"

"I think I'll shed a tear when you die,"

"no one else gets to hurt you, you're mine!"

"oh please, we're enemies, it's not like our relationship can get worse,"

"you really saved me?"

"you're a bad guy, yet I can't see it,"

"Why are we fighting?"

"things were easier when we used to hate each other"

"no one will believe we're actually together,"

"let's show up together, surprise everyone,"

"It's unfortunate, I sometimes think I may have gone off the rails somewhere along the line, but there's no doubt, I like you."

"I know your worst, Let me learn about you best,"

"This is the sixth time you would have been dead by my hand, not that I'm counting"

"I'm selfish, but I can't help but want you,"

"If I were you, I wouldn't love me,"

"do I matter that little to you?"

"whatever, keep playing the hate card, I'll get you to confess someday,"

"I've done so many wrongs to you, how can you look at me with those eyes?"

"lying doesn't suit you, and yet it's who you are at your core, I should have expected it,"

"as if I'd allow you to be better at this than me! it's war darling, I'll make you swoon,"

"you make me want to stop,"

"you can't drop me at home!? they'll see you!"

"you're pretty hot when you're cussing me,"

"I love hearing about how you plan to kill me,"

"Why did we hate each other again?"

"you're not so bad when you're not ruining my plans,"

"there's a lot I want from you, but pity is not it,"

"there used to be three things I couldn't stand, somehow you've wiggled out of that list, color me surprised,"

"we've been at each other's worst moments in life, how can I not fall?"

"if you wanted me naked all you had to ask, no need to cut off my clothes,"

"I was blessed with patience, but you are destroying it,"

"you nearly died! I mean yeah I almost killed you a lot but that wasn't me! be careful moron!"

that is a lot more than I thought I'd manage, huh.

[sleepynoise]

Designed my phone, if only the aesthetic on my phone could match what have in real life

[sleepynoise]

“But how how do you kill a god ?!” She threw her research papers stumping on them till there were nothingness. A couple of her research partners looked at her, in shock, rather startled by the loud noise

“Gods? I don’t know,. But what I do know is I’m tried of running ���

Her eyes widened as she saw her friend leaning against the door way.

She hastily picked up her papers, feeling her face heat up.

“ if we don’t run we die.” Her research partner, replied, setting her book down, venom seeping through her tone

“ if we do we do”

“Don’t you dare say that ! So many people lives are on a line, we aren’t gonna sacrifice lives just because you decided to give up, if you want to die be my guest, but don’t bring the rest of us with you down”

“ I’m not saying I want to die, I’m just pointing out running will has gotten us no where, supplies are running low and we have no wear to turn to, on top it, we already lost so many people, so many of them have been taken by them…”

They stopped leaning on the doorway

She watched as his poster turned stiff

“ and Let’s be honest here, nothing is gonna save us, not this crappy research that’s wasting time, not this ship will save us, we are on our own. We are own on our own and we are all small, weak, tiny, fragile. We are on our own, and it’s no amount of technology can compare to there power, there strength. We… we are on our own , and fuck, it’s not like we can even pray, because for once, god isn’t gonna save our souls, they won’t save us no one is “

Silence filled the room.

She quickly placed her crumpled notes on the table, reaching for the book she was reading, she opened it and sallowed hard choosing to ignore the tension in the room.

“ God, god, god! that’s all I have been hearing today, tell me what is a god anyways”

Everyone turned to the new voice in the room

Giffrin, an elderly man with grey, blonde hair got up from his spot in the lab, face scrunched

“ You are right, no one is gonna save us, it just means we need to save ourselves, so think, what is a god”

“ ruler ?”

“ someone that has power over the before universe “

“ but if they had power over the entire universe, they would have killed us by know” she found herself saying

She heard couple of people murmur in agreement

The room fell into silence once more

People thinking

She closed her eyes, placing her book down

she thought of the previous civilizations before them, in the other solar systems that they stumbled upon.

Empty, grey, lifeless, by the time they had gotten there, broken stone structures, covered in slimy green weeds, broken bones and dead bodies was what they found, amongst the decaying chaos though, there was a tall, broad, building, still intact, entering the building there were several status dawned in silky white cloths, covered in flowers and offerings long since dead.

“ a temple” her partner had said to her in awe

Eyes wide as she scanned the perimeter.

“ Well we all need to believe in something, Wether creatures believe there is no god in the universe or there is one , we all choose to believe in something because it gives a since of safely a net, something to hold on to because the idea of being completely alone, the idea of dying, the idea of having no where to go, can drive people mad”

“ Beliefs can be your downfall or your savior, it can drive you mad, or help you reach the point of peak existence” her partner replied agreeing with her.

Beliefs

Wait beliefs…

“ I think I have an idea “ she said.

Everyone heads turned towards her

“ go on “

“ Well when we went to leftover alien planets remember how they all had there own temples and places of worship, the most interesting thing was they all believed in the same thing, just different interpretation, they believed in the entities chasing us down..”

“ Okay but this is gonna help us kill them because ?”

“ Well when you think of a god you think of a something in charge of the unvisited right ? Something that created everything, but the only reason that person exists is because someone created that concept, instead of asking what a god is, we should be asking what a god makes up ? And that’s our beliefs”

“ Our beliefs, hope, dreams, sense of understanding of the world is what makes up a god, so in order to kill a god, we destroy it. Destroy the temples, destroy the idea that there are others pulling the strings, destroy the idea that someone worldy will save us of our sins, our destruction, our harm. Instead believe that we created ourselves, that yes we are alone, but we, we are in control, powerful, and strong in our own right “

“ that, that is how you kill a god”

We spread throughout the stars. But our enemies are not alien races, exterminator machines, or extradimensional invaders. No, our enemies are the gods, for humanity is the last, and only remaining mortal race in the universe.

[sleepynoise]

Shivering, shaking, crying, staring at the wall,

I’m hitting my pillow knowing that doing anything else I I’ll make it worse, I feel dumb,numb, and tiny,small, I once more did said, something that was stupid, something that ruined everything and I feel scared, so scared, there are knifes in my stomach and a thick fog covering my breathing, and I’m waiting, waiting for you to crack, to kick me out, to kill me, to harm me

But you also make me smile, you hug me, joke with me and make me feel loved, you have always given me want I wanted, spoiling me with items I wanted , food I like, and did I mention love, because I know you love me when you gently call out my name and give me a Hug, when you tell me that you are proud of how far I have come, when you encourage me on things I like

And I hug you and you smell like the spices you have been cooking,Smell like the roses from your perform, and you feel like protection, feel like blanket to protect me From the outside world, feel like a shelter, and you feel everything like a home

But home is suppose to be safe.

[sleepynoise]

I love your giggles, they are airy and light and remind me of a cool breeze in the middle of summer, they remind me of 6th grade during recess when we would lay down on the big hill talk, enjoy each other presence

I love that random burst of excitement, the one where you jump and gleefully geek out over something you love, over something you found, the ones where you shake, not out of fear or anger but happiness just pure happiness.

And

I love your laughter, I love when you are laughing at a joke you made, at something you say, at something I said, not only cause it sounds like sunshine, not only cause sounds like summer, not only cause it feels warm and light, but because it sounds like freedom, because it feels like freedom because I see your face free from the worries and anxiety’s that constantly plague your mind and all I can think is wow, that person is beautiful I would do anything, anything to here that laugh everyday all day, forever.

I just love you.

Everything about you.

[sleepynoise]

[sleepynoise]

Hey, to those that I have seen my recent post I’m probably gonna go back at some point, once I’m done studying for my computer science and Chem final and edit my other writings to look like that cause I like the style.

Also when I get the courage lol I might start posting some of my drawings as well

Anyways to anyone reading this post I hope y’all are having a good day

Also @random-double-d I saw the post I know exactly which two you are taking about lol I can see that

[sleepynoise]

Something I wrote, but I wanted to make it a little fancy so I used an app called Ibis paint to edit the text.

[sleepynoise]

Her face hardens, eyes filled with tears, clinched fists by her side.“ Fine, I’m done offering my help” she says quiet, but firm.

She walks of quickly and stiffly

It burns. It hurts. It feels like being locked in a cage.

I don’t know what to do. How to stop it.

It’s like thunder, loud and unpredictable

And it burns

Because I know I hurt her. I hurt her several times and the pain doesn’t go away

Instead The feeling festers

She gives me a pained smile and waves it off the next day , but I know somewhere in there she hates it. She hates me. She hates what I have become.

And I could argue I didn’t ask for her help

But I could also argue I didn’t need to snap at her

And I want to change

I want to do better

I want to make her smile not make her silent and sad

But it wraps around me like snake and makes my vision blurry, and my words fleeting,desperate, cruel

And it burns

The thunder roars

Lightening cracks

And i know this isn’t me

It’s a monster

And I want to do better

But I don’t know how

So all I have are apologizes

Burning empty words

“I’m sorry

So sorry

I ruined everything”

[sleepynoise]

Moths have a habit of coming in to my humble Abound, they often hang around downstairs resting near the plants, minding there own business, sleeping, eating. A few moths however make there way upstairs and in to our bedrooms and bathrooms. One moth flew in the water, maybe mistaking it for a place rest, maybe it was out of curiosity, either was the way pulled it down and it suffocated under the depth of the water until it died.

The moth slowly decayed in the in the unkept water .Colors of brown and red seep into the water, bringing disease into the once pristine sea of blue, bringing chaos and destruction in its wake. As creatures squirm and yell. It lays there, still, bit by bit it’s dirt colored body falling apart. The poor soul, the poor moth, it brought mayhem with its seemly innocent intentions. And I wait. I wait for it to consume me as well. As we both suffer, suffer In silence and sickness.

[sleepynoise]

The way she said she loved me

The hours we spent taking

The hours we stood in silence savoring each other presence

The way we guessed each other sentences

How we connected with nothing in common

How I could listen to her talk on in on her voice a gentility lullaby

The promises we made each other

Maybe I should have realized that to her, I was a crumpled old paper something to be forgotten then suddenly remembered after being found in a corner of her room. Amongst the other trash failed to be taken out.

Maybe I shouldn’t paint her in a bad light and I got it all wrong, she does care, that is she did. It’s just she didn’t need me, never did. And all there moments were worth nothing, less then a penny, as were I to her.

Or

Maybe it’s the burning emptiness I feel as I realize

She is a stranger as I am to her.

[sleepynoise]

Tomorrow, tomorrow I tell myself

I tell myself I’ll pick up the mess I made in my room

I’ll study

Take care of myself

Tomorrow

It will be tomorrow

Why is it so hard ?

[sleepynoise]

So I just finished listening to season 2 of the Magnus archives and oh god it’s a roller coster. I’m still processing what happened. I mean we all knew Ellas was the killer but the other things that happened. Gosh I need a breather.

[sleepynoise]

Every year I come to face to face with an old enemy, it grind as it sees me on the ground crumpled in defeat, red hot tears,fist clenched.

Every year on that month it uses me as target practice, throwing knifes in my heart and head. Knife after knife till I feel numb and empty.

And every year, on that month on that day,

I’m met with the soul crushing disappointment and sadness and that it brings me, as I stand there waiting, wondering. Question why ?!

Why this day

Why this month

Why me ?!

Me ?!

Then I realized the enemy was myself.

Not the month.

Not the day.

Just me.

Me tormenting myself .

[sleepynoise]

Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts

[sleepynoise]

Tw emotional abuse

She told me she loved me, I was her star, I was her life, her happiness,

her light, her everything.

I was her everything.

Her everything

everything

It always made smile, I would burst of happiness rush true me and I would excitedly hug her and repeat what she said to me back to her.

She would smile, and hug me back

It still does you know, when she repeats how much she loves me, how much she adores me.

How I’m her everything

Her everything

Everything

But it feels less genuine as the years went on she became harsh

Sometimes it was my fault

Other times it was hers

Regardless the outcome was the same

The screaming, crying, the pain, anger I felt deep in my bones I wanted to yell but she wouldn’t listen she wouldn’t

instead

She would dig her nails in to her fists and stare at me angrily, narrowing her eyes, and yell

I was her Destroyer, god sent me to hurt her and that

I was her tormenter, I was useless, I was nothing

I was nothing

Was nothing

Nothing

I was a disappointment, I was the cause of her distress, I couldn’t do anything right I was like like them, I was a fool, ignorant, selfish, I was nothing

I was nothing

Was nothing

Nothing

I was the reason she would kill herself she added pointing at me.

She threatened to kill me to

Saying that

there could only be one of us in the house

and after all

I was nothing

was nothing

Nothing…

But we have are good days

You know ?

The are days I’m her everything’s dots on me caring,

but days where she pushes me aside and makes me feel worthless, like I am.

I wonder if it’s normal

I know I deserve it

No matter how many times she says I’m her everything

Her everything

everything

It rings in my ear like a bad song, and repeats over and over again

That

I’m nothing

Nothing

nothing.