sleepingbeauty6400 - Tumblr blog

[sleepingbeauty6400]

saw the kindest disability person today, hope he’s gonna be happy and healthy always.

[sleepingbeauty6400]

favorite spot in my room🖤

[sleepingbeauty6400]

grateful for the time i spent with my boyfriend today. i’ve been searching for the 4th series of books i enjoyed when i was in middle-school, and he helped me look up the ebook for hours (at late-night) to find it.

unfortunately, we didnt find the 4th series.

but that’s fine..

it was just really nice knowing how long he would help the small thing that matters to me.

thank you🤍

hope you’d stay this kind every-time and forever, and not once in a while🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️

[sleepingbeauty6400]

hi dad, how you doing up there?

i don’t know where to start to tell mine

but i guess to sum up, everything turned out the way i prayed for it so far

it’s just you’re not here, so it is not as good as it sounds

several years ago, i thought there will come a day when i’m able to miss you less, but it’s been 3 years so far and i’m still here

my friends joke about the “gala bunga matahari” song the other day, and intentionally wants to play it with me in the car.

I guess they thought i am able to handle it all now, but i am not.

they dont know how i practice myself and tortured my soul every night on shower to practice not to cry everytime hearing the song.

at the library, at clubhouse, been practicing for that for so long. i think that is the very first time i do practice for anything besides work.

it’s even sadder to have nobody to talk to about this now that you’re gone.

i know i can tell mom, but u know she’ll be sad hearing that. i cant tell grazie or keke, they will think i’m not strong. i cant tell kakpris, bcs she didnt care at all.

i miss you bapak

miss your silly joke and every honest opinion with my favorite loving and caring tone. i wish all my friends knew you before you’re gone. so i can share how good you were.

bapak i want to blame you, i am so used to your kind voice, i cant handle any of loud ones.

i miss your calmness and everything everything everything.

i miss mom too, i wish she is here with me now.

but i miss u the most!!! i wish you know that and sees me from up there crying for you every night for the past 3 years!

everything went well even without you here, and i dont like it

i want you around and see how much ive accomplished! i miss you bapak…

i dont think i can love anyone as much as i love you and mom, even myself.

i wish i love me as much as i love you both.

yours sincerely and forever❤️

-kak gaby

[sleepingbeauty6400]

[sleepingbeauty6400]

miss yew ndute kesayangan tabiii!!!

maw peyuk🤗🫶

[sleepingbeauty6400]

Terima kasih Tuhan Yesus buat satu persatu doa gaby yang Tuhan jawab❤️

i know You know exactly the dream i had in heart and will bless me wherever i go❤️

I know at the very end, you’ll guide me to the best school you have in store for me, where You think I can represent not only my interest and my thoughts, but also Your will through my life

This school never once crossed my mind, and I still have several other school ongoing, and my dream school still to be submitted.

But I know, whichever it is, you hold my future as well as you were also there on my past.

Sorry i haven’t been a very obedient daughter these past months and so sorry for relying too much on my efforts and thoughts.

In the end, i know who knows me best and give me the best.

You are truly my Father

[sleepingbeauty6400]

if anyone ever asked me how i picture marriage:

exactly how it explained in the photo. 100% the same as my thoughts

[sleepingbeauty6400]

Bapa Engkau mengenalku, lebih dari siapapun❤️ Engkau tau ceritaku, dan isi hatiku❤️ tak perduli masa lalu, Engkau tetap memilihku❤️ ubahkanku❤️ sempurnakan❤️ jadi karya yang indah❤️

kini aku percaya, tiada yang mustahil bagiMu❤️ kuasaMu, kuatkanku, dasarku berharap❤️ kini aku berserah, pada rancanganMu bagiku❤️ kuikuti, panggilanMu❤️ ku kan setia sampai akhir hidupku❤️

[sleepingbeauty6400]

currently stuck between:

it’s okayyyyyy i do greatttt

do i???

🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️🥹✅🫡🤗👼🏻😢

[sleepingbeauty6400]

God, can i? may i? please? :’(

[sleepingbeauty6400]

you are blessed. don’t let anything happened in life tell you otherwise.

[sleepingbeauty6400]

the one when i spent 1.4 mio in just 2 hours🥲

no more of this for another 3 months. yes.

[sleepingbeauty6400]

miss your smile and warm hug @ bapak🤗🤍

[sleepingbeauty6400]

WISH EVERYTHING WILL WENT WELL EVENTUALLY.

In the name of Jesus🤍 God bless my application.

ku tauu siapaa yang pimpin hari depan hidupku🤍

[sleepingbeauty6400]

life is really funny.

sometimes it’s all sunshine in one time.

mom’s work & business going super well, keke calls me first, presentations going well, arthur’s getting 1st choice of college, billy’s here, hit IELTS score i prayed for, getting exposure at work, etc

but sometimes it’s all storm in one place, in a day, my necklace’s liontin is lost, as well as my earrings, AC bocor, had to wfh bcs of it, getting pressure from the apartment makelar (kakpris said it is not really a pressure - but i just feel like it), being scammed by Tokopedia Camera seller 😢

i guess i’m just not good at handling pressure.

this breakdown always happens in a pattern.

i can handle 1 big presentations per week, but not more. not with all of other workload and small presentations, and trust me i work from presentations to presentations, it’s not so LITTLE, it’s still quite big for some people.

This place is consuming me.

I cried to my mom a lot more than i did before i got into this place. No matter how much i rest, it’s still not enough.

I learn to have an emotional rest today at church, and how to not let our emotion led us, but let faith control our emotion. How come I still feel like i’m being controlled by mine?

Yes, I was never good at loss.

Losing handphone, losing things, losing people, feeling of losing time.

never good at any of those.

I guess afterall, a restful mind is all i needed. Not to push too much pressure on myself of how things supposed to turns out perfect in the end, and learn the beauty of imperfection.

But i’m still sad, and got headache even when i consume enough water, food & fruits (as my mom told me to).

This is the time i need my God the most …

God please be with me all the time, i need You

[sleepingbeauty6400]

Dalam nama Tuhan Yesus setiap hariii🤍🤍🤍