sleepingbeauty6400

[sleepingbeauty6400]

memang tidak mudah

mencintai

diri ini

[sleepingbeauty6400]

111224

yelled at someone at work today. felt the worst feeling ever. but how am i supposed to be chill when it was their fault at the first place??? and how am i supposed to be asked cruelly on something that is not mine to do at the first place???

letting this out here bcs i just cant hold it inside anymore. i think they know i’m mad, as i obviously went home straight after the discussion with grabcar that costs me almost 100k to home but THIS ONE’s needed to keep me sane.

heavy chest go away!!!😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i want to scream

[sleepingbeauty6400]

when life gives you honey and stars but then trash Gus Miftah video underestimating ice tea seller passes by and you’re just left amazed and cry over how people can be damn too cruel to other people👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻

[sleepingbeauty6400]

since nobody’s even here.

i just want all things about you are captured well, not only just in my memory.

sometimes i look you up on internet just to make sure that somehow you’re still living somewhere…

bapak, gaby rindu kali lah :’(💔

masih rindu, masih sedih setiap ingat bapak udah nggak disini

mau peluk bapak :’(

bertahun2 ga hilang2 rasa sedih dan rindu buat bapak

sepinya hidup gaby tanpa senyum bapakku sayang ❤️ tanpa peluk bapakku sayang❤️ tanpa telfon bapakku sayang❤️

susah ternyata buat bisa cerita ke org lain tentang perasaan gaby ke bapak. udah 3 tahun dan bahkan cerita ke org DATE juga gaby belum mampu.

bapak, gaby rindu❤️❤️❤️

[sleepingbeauty6400]

gila mungkin ini udh basi ya

tp i’m still amazed sometimes, how life got me so far. ternyata terbukti bahwa emg kl mengandalkan Tuhan ga sia2. ga 1-2 org anak Columbia yg scr obvious tidak ingin menjawab pertanyaan2 waktu preparation, but somehow i managed to stay strong (back then - i also dont know how) - paralel debrief TCB, persiapan TCE, RAKB OJK - that was my worst sleeping schedule.

All that with literally no help from other except Primanta. literally cuma Primanta doang yg bener2 genuinely helpful. lalu Tuhan beneran kasih kelulusan. less than 30 people get in from accross the world lho. God do i really deserve this?

I really don’t know how to thank You. I hope my friends can also get in there so we can share happiness together. but still God, you give me assurance when I don’t even brave enough to wish. I was ready to fail. I thought it was too high too. It’s Columbia. i’m an ivy league student!!!😭😭😭

I was so bold telling my friends 3 months ago, I will show the world, that even without their (the columbians who won’t) help, I can still do it as long as I have You.

what balls pushed me back then? even to tell my head is in ache I sometimes still refuse to speak.

(nangis bersyukur tiap hari krn Tuhan baik)

being one of the top 3 tcb, getting columbia, lpdp 1 shot, I still don’t know how to thank You.

I know You know what’s really inside my heart to all these blessings.

thank God

[sleepingbeauty6400]

just like this rain, all things are crafted beautifully as how it supposed to be 🌧️

[sleepingbeauty6400]

Yesterday’s sunday service told me to write whenever our mind feels tangled.

I don’t know where to start, but I am both excited and scared to have such big responsibilities in my workplace rn.

All sustainable finance portfolios now are on me. No number gets out of the bank unless they are being calculated by me.

What if it was wrong? how big will the consequences be? I know it is not there for purchase or disbursement, but the numbers are there as a baseline for strategy creation.

Ooh God i’m so scared everytime this is pops out but both satisfied when we passed the audit.

I surrender all to You God

[sleepingbeauty6400]

Out of all things i learn in CIMBN, of all people i work with in CIMBN, nothing beats the combination of workloads and people in FI.

I know they did give me hardships there, working my ass off so hard, but the knowledge I gain and the friendship I built with all elderly people has made it worth it.

I pray they all will always be healthy & all things went well in work and in life.

and to me, i’m proud of you too.

[sleepingbeauty6400]

haleluya, haleluya, oh kudus kuduslah Tuhan

haleluya, haleluya, terpujilah nama Tuhan😭💔❤️🙌🏻😭😭😭😭

😭😭😭 thank you dear Lord 😭😭😭

[sleepingbeauty6400]

tucked in bed when it’s 21:00.

rare thing does happen when you least expect it

[sleepingbeauty6400]

hi gab, just to remind u that you now own your own prada bagggggggg

#influenced by #rachel #green!!!!

[sleepingbeauty6400]

what a week😭😭😭

the most important file is corrupted, had to make it all over again, when it almost finished, my microsoft profile crashed in the midnight.

had to calm myself and believe that it can be recovered the next day.

what a night to remember, i was totally tortured by my own thoughts. i even think of the reason why people would go far enough to kill themselves when they lost their skripsi.

terryfying, isnt it?

thank God it passed when the best IT guy helped me 2 days ago.

but ever since, i’ve been dealing with cleaning all people’s shitty work and my friggin OCD self just can’t let go of the smallest thing that went wrong.

God pleaseee take me away from this divisiiooooon it’s driving me crazyyyyy

super. super. tired.

[sleepingbeauty6400]

saw the kindest disability person today, hope he’s gonna be happy and healthy always.

[sleepingbeauty6400]

favorite spot in my room🖤

[sleepingbeauty6400]

grateful for the time i spent with my boyfriend today. i’ve been searching for the 4th series of books i enjoyed when i was in middle-school, and he helped me look up the ebook for hours (at late-night) to find it.

unfortunately, we didnt find the 4th series.

but that’s fine..

it was just really nice knowing how long he would help the small thing that matters to me.

thank you���

hope you’d stay this kind every-time and forever, and not once in a while🙂‍↕️🙂‍↔️

[sleepingbeauty6400]

hi dad, how you doing up there?

i don’t know where to start to tell mine

but i guess to sum up, everything turned out the way i prayed for it so far

it’s just you’re not here, so it is not as good as it sounds

several years ago, i thought there will come a day when i’m able to miss you less, but it’s been 3 years so far and i’m still here

my friends joke about the “gala bunga matahari” song the other day, and intentionally wants to play it with me in the car.

I guess they thought i am able to handle it all now, but i am not.

they dont know how i practice myself and tortured my soul every night on shower to practice not to cry everytime hearing the song.

at the library, at clubhouse, been practicing for that for so long. i think that is the very first time i do practice for anything besides work.

it’s even sadder to have nobody to talk to about this now that you’re gone.

i know i can tell mom, but u know she’ll be sad hearing that. i cant tell grazie or keke, they will think i’m not strong. i cant tell kakpris, bcs she didnt care at all.

i miss you bapak

miss your silly joke and every honest opinion with my favorite loving and caring tone. i wish all my friends knew you before you’re gone. so i can share how good you were.

bapak i want to blame you, i am so used to your kind voice, i cant handle any of loud ones.

i miss your calmness and everything everything everything.

i miss mom too, i wish she is here with me now.

but i miss u the most!!! i wish you know that and sees me from up there crying for you every night for the past 3 years!

everything went well even without you here, and i dont like it

i want you around and see how much ive accomplished! i miss you bapak…

i dont think i can love anyone as much as i love you and mom, even myself.

i wish i love me as much as i love you both.

yours sincerely and forever❤️

-kak gaby

[sleepingbeauty6400]