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Hey everyone! Its National Poetry Month!! Time for the 30/30. Follow the Kitchen Table Literary Arts page to check out my 30/30 poems.

I haven’t written poetry in a while but I have a lot to say. No Hold backs!

30/30!

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Free-write: The Shirelles with MAMA SAID FT. Slam Anderson

 (Mama said they’d be days like this...Mama Said) 

Mama said I would have worst days then this, 

so I am trying not to get too comfortable with today. 

I am happy yesterdays exist to help me let go of what happened then. 

I am sitting here in between the past and the future, accepting it as a present because life is a gift; 

and every day is a journey, 

and every obstacle I’ve overcome within 24 hours is just another conquer.

 I am conqueror. 

I have conquered 27 years’ worth of days and I still haven’t broken a sweat. 

I am a beast.

 I am a lioness. 

Mane hanging below my shoulders. 

I am ready for hot nights and cold morning. 

I am growing with every sunset and moon rise.

 I am alive. 

I have never set the time on my watches;

I am done riding the long hand of these minutes just to make it to one hour. 

I am better than this. 

You are better than this. 

Hold your head up, not even a blind man look down when he walks. 

Your Mama told you that you’d see worst days then this.. 

So take a deep breath.

The worst isn’t here yet. 

Don’t stand in silence and wait for the bad,

rejoice with noise, live and be thankful for the good. 

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LOVE THIS MOVIE!

Be your sisters & brothers KEEPER. Lets wake each other up!

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I LOVE THIS HUMAN!! Beautiful! #throwback #tampa

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Sometimes I find it hard to tell the differences between angels and demons in the dark. Good and evil look the same when the lights are turned off

Slam Anderson (Afraid of the Dark)

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Blog (I guess) Naw VENT

I am not really a blogger but I vent a lot. To myself and paper mostly. I had told myself something that of course won’t come true but it was one of those “wtf if” thoughts. One of those no way its coming true but dang if it did (wow). 

So, I told myself what if Donald Trump wins the Presidential Election and in his election speech he says, 

“So, just want everyone to know that I just manipulated the majority of the white Americans and republicans in this election. I have no plan on doing pretty much anything I said for you all. I just new the only way to win was to posed as if I was for the majority and rich people. I new that by getting the minority to hate me it would make the majority love me more; its a business tactic I use all the time. Therefore, there are a lot of changes that are going to be made that you all (who voted for me) will not like. First everything I said about immigration and Muslims was a complete and utter lie. I plan on changing the laws to make it easier and cost efficient to become a US Citizen. Lets face it, its the very people we are trying to keep out that made this Country what it is, and who can make it even better. Who are we to deny people of what we call A Good Life, The American Dream. It is time we start putting some truth to this Country motto, The Melting Pot because right now the only thing that is melting in this pot is the lives of our fellow Americans. Our African & Black American brothers and sisters to be blunt. I am going to pick up where Mr. Obama left off and continue to Be The Change because we are not done. There is still so much that needs to change. Still so much to do. My campaign slogan was, Lets Make America Great Again for a reason. I wanted to see how many people really believed this Country was ever great and Wow! Do I have my work cut out for me. Well, my real slogan is, Lets Make America Great, not just for the rich, not just for the poor, not just for blacks not just for whites, not just for foreigners; But for Every human being who wants or once or will call themselves an American. Lets make it great because it is ours. It is were we live. It is a part of who we are. Lets make it great because it has never been great before and how amazing would we all feel knowing that we are the generation that did it. We are the generation that achieve Greatness. And when I say Greatness I do not mean perfection. We have to understand not only as Americans but as People, humans; nothing will ever be perfect. We will make mistakes as a people, as a country and even I will make mistakes as a President but as long as we learn from those mistakes and realize where the error lies in those mistakes and accept a mistake has been made, then we can do it. There has been a lot of mistakes in this country that we haven’t realized was a mistake or we didn’t investigate the mistake enough to see where the error was and that is only one reason for the state we are in. I am sick of seeing people ashamed to do the pledge but I don’t blame them. Even I battle against morals before lifting my hand to my heart. How can I pledge something to be true that I have never seen. But Today I vow that will change. So, I say to all my Americans, my brothers and my sisters, of all religions, backgrounds, genders, sexual orientations, race etc. Lets make America Great for our children, for all future generations. Let them look on us and say, This was the generation that achieve Greatness, Freedom, Justice, and Liberty for all in a Country that was only taught hate. Not I but we did that. As a people, as Americans. Thank you and lets get busy.”

So, maybe not these exact words but something like it. I am not all poise and shi but this like I said was one of the many daydreams I have; But of course this will never happen. 

Anyway, I don’t like to tell people who to vote for. Its your life, its your voters card. Hell, I don’t even debate or tell people to vote because its your voice and bluh bluh. Its your voice you can chose what or what not to do with it and there are plenty other ways for a person to use their voice besides voting, but don’t get me wrong I am also not saying don’t vote. I am saying you do you! Whatever helps you sleep at night....

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Such a simple word. 

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ALWAYS!

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Gifted, she is.

I had a dream once about a Poet meeting a Painter but this somewhat non-believer couldn’t concieve enough faith in hope for that to be reality. I mean think of the possiblilites; but that arrangment could never work. That bond is too cliche, their work would overshadow each other destroying the masterpiece they want so desperately to create. Let’s think: in a perfect world, where the sky is made from light red and pink watercolors, the earth created with pastels, the birds are sketched out with color pencils, the wind is made of light strokes of white, the raindrops are letters, puddles form stanzas.. Yes! It sounds beautiful but perfect worlds always do. But see, poets know too much about reality; therefore the sky is always blue, earth is dark brown, birds are losing their balance on the air, the wind can’t be seen no matter how still you stand, and raindrops are metaphors for tears not letters & puddles well puddles are just puddles… That perfect painting of their world so easily erased, cliches get old, overused and out dated..but can you blame me for thinking just maybe it could work..oh the possiblilites..

-slam

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CAN I HOLD YOUR EARS

I didn’t claim this to be more than what it is.

You place this name on me.

Told me I was entitled to more than what I wanted.

Yes, I called myself a Poet

but I never said this was my career. Never wanted to take from those who earned it, those who need these words to live because I breathe with or without you, I just have fun doing you.

Does that make me a bad person?

I didn’t try to make this more than what it was, I just didn’t stop you from taking things to the next level

does that mean I led you on?

This is not even a part of me.It is a piece of a part but I guess it is my fault. This is all I showed you. Can’t blame you for not seeing. For thinking something is wrong. For making you my obligation, my responsibility, my duty, and ignoring everything else. When everything else is bigger to me than this but you’re my safety net. So here I am, back on a stage,in the spotlight, in front of the mic. Here is the only place they will listen.

“CAN I HOLD YOUR EARS...”

Can someone take mine?

He warned me about this in the beginning. Every game has its cheaters and every garden has its snakes, and the fact is you can move faster when you don’t have legs, plus you don’t get tired as quick. Snakes shed their skin. But see you’re just mad that you can’t do what a snake can. Never point out a snake when you see it, you just can’t see how cute it is, maybe you’re the snake.

Maybe I am.

Maybe I could be if it weren’t for obligations. Maybe I could cheat, but I don’t care about winning. Put me in charge of the lights,make me the curtain puller or the custom designer, and give me the smallest font in the credits.

Don’t count on me

because I won’t I let you down. Don’t count on me because I will do everything I can to come through for you and I am tired of coming through for you so please stop counting on me, because I won’t quit if you need me so stop needing me.

So I can stop.

So I can do what my heart wants me to do. Stop wanting more because I will give it to you. Just give me a chance to show you what else I can do because this, this is nothing but it means something to you, so I continue. But I am hurting, I am losing inside, I am rotting, but you can’t see it because I didn’t show you. So I don’t blame you, I just don’t know how to tell you.

My love isn’t gone, just not as strong. My love is still here, just not the same, and I care too much just to leave. Just to walk away.

With you I feel safe, not happy,just safe.

I mean what harm do you cause? I am inspiring, I am encouraging, I am helping, doing exactly what I want to do; right? So why leave. Why let go when there is so much to be done. But why hold on when there are so many others to do it.

Who am I?

What makes me special?

Is it me who needs you?

People hate saying“GOODBYE” because it sounds too permanent. See you later implies a future. But you’re only a piece of my future. I want you in my future. I want you in my present but I can’t give you all of me. So I am trying not to take all of you.You can call it a game. Playing with emotions. Maybe I just want some attention. But attention from you has never been my problem. You are always there. I don’t deserve you.

How.

I used to ask how.

How do you fall out of love?

It doesn’t happen instantly,

It happens over time;

You just don’t realize it until it is completely gone,

You notice it,

When it first starts to happen you can feel it slightly;

It feels like un-sureness,

it makes you feel skeptical,

then uneasy,

then frustrated,

then angry.

Then it leaves or so you think it leaves. For a moment you’re better. You say it was a sign that you need to push more or give more because it hurt. That moment when you thought you were falling out.

It hurts.

You didn’t like it, so you say it is the Universe trying to show you what will happen if you don’t give more to it.

To your love.

But that’s a lie. It’s fading. You’re falling, slowly falling, and when it is finally gone, when you finally realize what is happening, you will get scared and eager. Worried and ready. Lost and complete.Because you know this is what you want, you just didn’t think it would happen like this. You will get scared and anxious. Because this ending means the real journey is about to begin but then you will get sad.

Think about the ones who counted on your love,

the ones who saw hope in your relationship.

Hold on longer for them. Fake a smile for them. Write for them. Perform for them. Fall quietly for them. You will start to hate them. But how can you blame them?

That’s how you fall out of love. Slowly and usually when everything is going right.

Slowly…

It fades…

Slowly…

You fade.

It’s not distance.

Your closer than before.

It’s not distance.

I haven't out grown you. It’s not you,it’s not me, nature just has taken its course. This wasn't suppose to be my forever but you knew that. You held on because I held on and I held on because you held on, and neither one of us wanted to be a quitter. What sane person leaves a love as pure and unconditional as yours? What sane person walks away from an unbiased and understanding love like yours? But you showed me I was never sane and that's a good thing, so I am not acting out of character.

I didn’t mean to make this more than what it was. It happens. I fell in love and now I am falling out. But I can’t just leave. I can’t just stop. I can’t just walk away but I also can’t stay.

One more.

One more for the past.

One more for the present.

One more.

One more.

No Goodbyes. I will always love you! You will always feel safe to me.

Here.

One this stage.

In this spotlight.

In front of this mic.

“CAN I HOLD YOUR EARS”

See you later!

By Slam Anderson

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Before Life she was beautiful... In her Life she was unhappy... She was told after Life there is peace... But to me she will always be beautiful... Her Eyes were the color of dreams, Dark skin sagged off of her shaking bones, She held hope in her hands, as if hope could change the predicament she was in, But hope has no ears & hope has no eyes, So hope could not see or hear her tears, Hope is deaf, dumb & blind... So one day she stopped crying, And when asked why she said, "I was taught never to waste water"... She stopped feeling; Rolled her faith & placed a rubber band around it, Put it in a K-Swiss shoe box with a permanent-maker label that read, "my possessions"... Which held a picture of a father she never met, a high school diploma she felt she didn’t deserve, letters from a mother she wonder if she loved, well not loved just trusted or forgive; Temporary just long enough to stop comparing her life to hers. Knowing she has a family history of getting addicted to Love, So fear made her heart numb, she loss the sensation to be touch by others because being touch by others leave you tainted, And too many fingerprints were imprinted on her mother. Her spirit was paralyzed, The only thing that would move is her hands and her mind, Doctor asked, “Do you want us to pull the plug?" She replied, as long as I can write I am not dead and they will leave me alone, but as soon as this pain becomes too unbearable to place a pencil in my hand, release life from my body, donate my air to someone who has the desire to live. But promise to cremate me... I never liked darkness so I whether not be place in a casket, I always thought that was ironic, to be buried 6ft; Wont that make you closer to hell? I thought we were aiming for Heavens. Call me weird but let my ashes be carried away by winds and I pray they get trapped in clouds, or make it so far they make God sneeze. Now wont that be ironic to hear the world tell God, “Bless you”.. But if you must put me in a casket place a night light next to me with an everlasting battery. I told you she was a weird child… She never fit in with the other child, children or kids, in preschool, elementary, middle or high school, she sat in the back of the classroom, staring at the clock, never wanting the bell to ring, not because she loved school just never wanted to leave writing class for that is the only time she had silence.. But she was told after death there is peace… So understand she wasn’t in a hurry to die, just in hurry to find peace. She isn’t another number lost in suicide statics but a victim of constant commotion in her head and medicine only made her drowsy, She said, “Slam, how can I experience life if I am always sleeping, how will I ever get to tell my side of the story if the voices wont let me speak, Slam” she screamed; “can you hear me”...Every day she had to speak over an audience of a million with no microphone, “Slam can you hear me”... The only time the voices were silence was when she was writing but arthritis in her hands grew worse, “Slam can you hear me” she yelled, “It wasn’t me I was tryin to kill, just the millions of voices in my head I wanted them to disappear. I am surreal killer, I do deserve the death penalty, because these voices are just as human as me and I killed every single one of them, with no remorse but somehow the bullet ricochet and hit me. Slam, they came to me while I was sleeping and manipulated the characters in my dreams and You were there, I saw your mouth moving but couldn't hear what you were saying the voices were so strong...Please dont be mad at me.” At her funeral I read: Before Life she was beautiful... In her Life she was unhappy... She was told after Life there is peace... But to me she will always be beautiful...

By Slam Anderson

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If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.

Audre Lorde (via kitchentablelit)

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Where I gained my Freedom & So much more!

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