skylarmaes

[skylarmaes]

secondhvnd‌:

When the music stopped, things felt a tad more serious. Phoenix almost wanted to tell Skylar to turn it back on. The music of Dolly Parton had become more relaxing over the past seven years than he’d ever thought it would be. The absence of music made the situation seem that much more serious. And while it was, the implication it wasn’t would have been appreciated. The fact he’d mentioned crying might have tipped her off it wasn’t a minor crisis he’d blown out of proportion. He could count the times he’d cried in front of his mom on one hand. Bottling up his emotions was far easier than speaking about them. However, she was the best sounding board – and wouldn’t let him try to keep his feelings under control.

“It might not work out,” he said as he slid off of the counter and went to sit at the kitchen table. He looked down at the tablecloth which might actually have come from the 1960s. There was no telling with Skylar. At the offer, he shook his head. “No, I don’t want anything.” He was sick to his stomach at the moment. He didn’t know if it was anything more than the guilt which had settled heavily in the pit of his stomach. 

Folding his hands on the table, Phoenix still refused to look up at Skylar. “Two problems… number one, how exactly do I mend a friendship when I kind of told Will I didn’t want him to talk to me anymore. And that I wished I didn’t have the tattoo I got for him and that he wasn’t my real family.” He shook his head. “He told me Bodhi was in the hospital and nothing else. He – he didn’t even call me that night because he said I would do something stupid and get myself into trouble. He should have told me though! I should have known.” He cleared his throat. “But I shouldn’t have said any of that. I think I lost my best friend.”

He shrugged. “Oh, and I might have lost the other one! I kissed Juliana and told her how I felt but I told her to forget about it. She, uh. Doesn’t want to do that and now she’s mad at me.” It was justifiable. If she wasn’t mad at him, there would have been something wrong. “But we wouldn’t work out. I’m not…” Phoenix trailed off. He wasn’t particularly in the mood for any sort of discussion about his self esteem and of course he was good enough for Juliana. “I know that I’d hurt her. I don’t have the best romantic history and I… can’t be that guy. Not with her.”

Despite the fact that he said he didn’t want anything, Skylar went to get him a glass of water after she finished washing her hands. The Phoenix in front of her looked exhausted, he looked worried, he looked unsure and she just wanted to do what she could to soothe her son. After placing the water in front of him, she watched him thoughtfully and listened to him talk. Her first thought, though she didn’t show it on her face ( yet ) was: Jesus Christ. 

Skylar was just so tired of her son sabotaging his own happiness. So tired of him being so self-destructive and she wished she could just love him enough to get him to stop. When it came to Will, she knew that Will had only been doing his job even though she agreed -- she would’ve liked to have known earlier. It was hard, because even though Nix wasn’t Sky’s mini me like he was Mat’s, she could feel for him with every cell she had. That was Skylar’s problem sometimes, one that many around her had pointed out ( her parents particularly in her youth ) that her emotions got the best of her. They overrode reason, logic, they eroded at her gut when they weren’t expressed in some type of way. Luckily, she didn’t self destruct, she never chose that route the way her son did. 

So, she could understand how Phoenix felt might’ve felt. He was just as emotional as well as Skylar was, whether he wanted to admit it or not. 

It was in that moment that her heart flipped again, going from sadness to elation -- they kissed. She was almost angry at herself, Skylar knew she shouldn’t have been happy then, she shouldn’t have been excited when she heard that Phoenix and Juliana kissed -- she was -- and then it all fell apart. The way Phoenix didn’t believe in himself made her question if she had done a good job parenting at all. It was true, he’d made mistakes in his romantic life, and yes she was bias. The fact was, she didn’t know what to say to Phoenix about Will because this was such a mess. But she believed in his ability to bounce back, she believed in him so much. 

“I feel like sometimes you see yourself as this person who just hurts people and it makes you hurt people. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy. You’ve made mistakes but you aren’t your mistakes.” Skylar remembered Gage. Genesis. Casualties in Phoenix’s war against himself. “You have every right to be scared but I have so much faith in you. You don’t gotta be that guy, hun. If you can’t find the faith, something, for yourself, then have mine. Borrow my faith in you.”

Skylar looked at him and she wondered what she could do to make him believe in himself. “You deserve to be happy, no matter what that happiness looks like,” she continued because it was true. 

“And with Will? I’d start with an apology. It’s okay if you need to take time for yourself too if you need some space before talking to him to think. “

[skylarmaes]

the-crimson‌:

Some say time changes everything, that’s right to a certain degree. They have aged from their high school sweetheart days the two love birds, now nearing their forties and their little love nest has grown with baby birds tweeting for their attention and their love which they both had plenty to give out to their broken winged babies. The one thing time has never changed and probably never will change, Mathias Mae’s love for Skylar Mae. Every beat of his heart is for her, pumping the blood cells throughout his body. His soulmate, his reason for the change in his lifestyle. Still, get’s butterflies when he sees her from the far or up close, he hoped he’ll never lose those butterflies. 

The cherry red hair being his beacon -calling him like a siren’s song- through the crowd which he maneuvered through without sipping any of their drinks which was a big thing -having damaged his knuckles from fighting years ago, possibly teeny tiny bit of arthritis. Coming up behind her, reaching his left tattooed forearm over her shoulder to hand her, her drink. “Here you go, my love.” He spoke with a smile that reached his blue loving gaze. “Is it me or is this giving me flashback to Friday nights here?” He asked, cocking his head to the side to meet her eyes. The after football game parties always ending up at the diner with half the town showing up to celebrate the wins and even the loses. 

@skylarmaes

“Ugh, my hero,” she smiled wide, hugging her husband and giving him a few kisses on the cheek ( red lipstick was now smeared on said cheek ) before taking her drink. There was luck, there was destiny, there was fate, and the stars had aligned when they met granting her each of the aforementioned. To this day, she wondered if she’d ever stop being so happy around him, if she’d ever stop feeling like the sun shined out of his ass. She looked up at Mat again, seeing if anything changed -- nope. “Well, besides the lack of Michael B. Jordan, I definitely see where you’re coming from with that. But look at Kale, she’s playing with the instruments,” she beamed, pointing over towards the kids section where most of the children in town under 10 were all playing together with some of the fake ( and real ) instruments brought to this event. 

“D’you think she’s going to be the next Dolly? Or maybe she’ll be like Joan Jett?” She put a head on his shoulder while sipping his drink and tracing her finger along her arms where she knew one of her favorite tattoos of his was. Skylar was beyond happy to be at this event but taking a break as a mother, taking a break in general, had never been her forte -- she felt some guilt at just her and Mat hanging around like their teenage selves. Under her breath, she whispered to Mat, ”I still can’t believe Bodhi got freaking STABBED. I know you’re gonna say he’s fine, I don’t need to worry about it now and here, but should he really be drinking? Ugh, he got STABBED, Mat, stabbed.” 

[skylarmaes]

secondhvnd‌:

@skylarmaes

Phoenix was a fuck up. It was a commonly known fact around Sunnymead, had been almost as long as he’d been there. Anyone holding out their faith in him had lost it when he’d broken into the Davis’. The list of people he knew disagreed was currently dwindling. Those who he cared about or cared about him were dropping like houseflies. It was his own fault. He couldn’t help it. Lashing out at Will or telling Juliana their kiss had been a mistake? They were far easier than they should have been. It contributed to his longest running theory – he wasn’t a good person. Good people didn’t do that. He’d lost his cool with Will over something which the other had no control over. He’d kissed Juliana then made a shitty attempt to take it back when he had time to dwell on it and realize he was no good for her.

The two people he wanted most to talk to his problems were the ones he’d messed up with. This hadn’t exactly happened before. Juliana would get mad at him, but it would fade away. It didn’t feel like that would work out for him this time. His argument Will had gotten heated enough he’d even claimed he wanted to get rid of the tattoo he’d gotten for his best friend. 

He wasn’t sure where to go, so he ended up on the porch at his parents’ house. The key went in easily. Hopefully, someone was up. (And hopefully, that someone was his mom.) The kitchen light was on and he let out a relieved sigh. “Skylar? Mama? You up?” He could smell something baking. She had to be, unless she’d somehow convinced Mat to take a cooking class. Nothing would surprise him at this point.

He walked through to the small kitchen and smiled at the redhead. Something about her presence even relaxed him a little. He sat up on the edge of the counter. “Can we talk? About… actually important stuff. I did a lot of stuff that wasn’t smart and I’m in a hole and I don’t know how to get out of it and I kinda want to cry.”

Baking pies was always filled with a sense of nostalgia that Skylar just ate up. Some days, she ran on it, nostalgia for the past, for things she didn’t experience for people she knew and missed. Tonight, alone in her kitchen making a blueberry cinnamon pie was no exception. It was easy enough but she’d been doing this all day and frankly needed a break. But there would be no break, not until everything was done, not until everything was perfect for the Gather & Groove. She owed the people in this town, Darcy, herself, that. 

“Just baking,“ she called out with a smile, happy to have some company while she baked. When her son came into the house so late at night, call her crazy, but she could FEEL something was off. Phoenix had always been a night owl, mostly because him and Bodhi had a habit of doing nefarious things at night, but he was alone. He was calling her Mama, he was telling her he was in a hole, and that was scary.  She washed off her hands & turned down the Dolly Parton that had been playing on vinyl, focusing her attention on him. She read his face then, she gave it a good look, and she swore she saw seen the teen boy she’d adopted -- not the 23 year old man in front of her. 

“I’m sure whatever is it, babycakes, it’ll work out,” she said easily with a smile to match his. “But, I am bit worried now hearing you want to cry, though.” It could’ve have been that bad, right? Sure, Phoenix had a habit of getting himself into EXTRAORDINARY messes ( it was something he and Mat shared in common, something she felt at times was a talent ), but he’d been okay lately. Uh oh, he’d been okay lately. Stay calm, Skylar, stay calm. 

“But we can always talk, do you want to sit down? Anything to eat? To drink? I could put on some tea to calm some of those nerves. Maybe even read you a bed time story? Works for Kale when she wants to cry. But please cry if you need, because you know what Dolly says -- if you want the rainbow you’re gotta to put up with the rain. ”

[skylarmaes]

Is that JOANNA GARCIA SWISHER walking down Old Town Front Street? Nah, SKYLAR MAE just looks like their identical twin! The 37 YEAR OLD has been a SETTLER for 23 YEARS. On their good days, SKY is LOVING AND LOYAL, but if you catch them on a bad day, they may be NEUROTIC AND PERSNICKETY. Keep your eyes on this DRAMATIC PRESCHOOL TEACHER. Wonder what they’ve been up to lately in Sunnymead!

CHARACTER INSPO: Molly Weasley ( Harry Potter ), Callie Torres ( Grey’s Anatomy ), Peggy Carter ( MCU ), Madelaine McKenzie ( Big Little Lies ), Donna Noble & Amy Pond ( Doctor Who )TBA. 

PINTEREST: [ x ] 

Skylar Reira grew up very very loved and wanting more. The world was hers, she grew up with love and responded to the world with it. Growing up in El Paso, the town was like their little corner of the world. Not many people in Sunnymead know, but Spanish was her first language as her parents were both Cuban and in El Paso over half of the population being native Spanish speakers. There was food, warmth, love, family but she always sad her parents never decided to have siblings. Sky begged them, over and over again but to no avail. She cherished the family she had, the cousins, extended family, the family who wasn’t blood related but were family just the same. A heart full of love, a life full of love, a childhood filled with Dolly Parton’s music, Skylar loved her life and life loved her. 

Then, Alex Reira got an opportunity to expand his pie making business into California -- into a small place called Sunnymead. Reira Pies broke ground in Sunnymead a few months before the move was supposed to take place. Skylar was furious, she’d always been emotional but the summer before her freshman year of high school? She’d been around her community, her home, for 14 years -- she was excited to live her life there. Not in some random town in Northern California ( not even the part she wanted to live in if she had to pick ). The Reira’s packed up and moved their things, the girl who helped bake pies with her father, who loved the novelty of things from before her time ( she loved the 60s era fashion but hold the racism, please ), turned into a punk. Red hair dyed black, lipsticks from red and pink to dark shades or nude if she was being happy that day. This was Skylar’s way of mourning. She was insistent on it even though her parents were horrified at her ripped jeans ( when had their daughter worn JEANS? ) and her new demeanor but as long as she didn’t flunk out of school and continued to help at their new pie shop, they’d let her manage. 

It was in her new state she met Mathias Mae. He was her first friend, the first person to make her smile again in this new ugly town. For her, it was too cold all the time and she missed the heat but Mat was so good & surprisingly clever -- even though he did his best not to let rest of the world know. If you asked her now, she’d say she loved him even then, but she just didn’t know it yet. Right before school started, she went back to herself, changed her black hair to a darker red until her natural color came back again. High school was great. she dated all around ( everyone and anyone ) much to her parents' dismay because to them no one was every good enough for her, ever. At prom, when Mat and Skylar kissed and became an item, they laughed in her face, because surely this was a joke right? The Mae’s were trash, they’d heard they were trash and he was certainly not good enough for their daughter. Sure, they’d tolerate him as her friend but as more? Never. 

Skylar was crushed, she wouldn’t lie, and while she had the grades to go to an out of state school -- she went to school in Evanstead because she wanted to be close to who she thought, no, knew was the love of her life. She had never disappointed her parents more, not reaching her full potential, staying near Sunnymead because of a boy. God, were they angry but Skylar? She’d never been happier. With aspirations to become a teacher, she got her Bachelors easily because Skylar was smart -- no matter how bubbly & ditsy she sometimes appeared to be. She was sharp, observant, caring, all great qualities for someone who was helping shaping minds and teaching children. 

When she graduated, her parents gave her a choice. Pursue secondary education out of Sunnymead and Evanstead, move back with them to Texas, go to a nice school like Baylor or somewhere she deserved. Not stay with this white trash man and stay in this town, 

Duh, she chose Mat. 

How could she not? Was losing her family hard? More than anything else she’d experienced in her life. Was it worth it? It was. If they couldn’t accept her life, her choices, who she was -- they weren’t family like she’d been raised to believe. Her and Mat would make their own family, they’d start something big, something beautiful and all their own. Fuck her parents, she said to Mat one night after crying, fuck them. After a few months of mourning ( but no emo get up this time ), Skylar with the help of Mat, picked herself up and got a job at the high school in Sunnymead doing Home EC. But soon enough, they lost funding for Home EC, getting a job at a preschool, which she’s worked at since. 

Everything was going as planned except -- Skylar wasn’t pregnant. They weren’t having children. A year passed and she wondered why, were they cursed because she left her family the way she did? Finding out Mat couldn’t have children was devastating, not because she felt having bio children was the end all be all but because of the guilt she knew Mat felt. It was then she made a decision, though a usually very emotional person, to put any of her own personal emotions about the matter aside. At the end of the day, while she always wanted to experience what it meant to have a child, it would just be something she had to miss out on -- that was okay. Her and Mat chose each other everyday and would for the rest of their lives, right? They could extend that to any children they had, even if they weren’t biological children, it was that simple. As long as they could have the family they wanted, big as can be, they’d be fine. 

They had their kids!!! They adopted all of them!! They are fucking happy with their family!!! Skylar is so happy!!! Even when her kids act like idiots she’s like THOSE ARE MY KIDS!!! MY LITTLE IDIOTS!! 

Skylar still bakes pies, probably the only thing she’s kept from her family before, their recipes and spreading it around the town for everyone to have, her way of making the town home. 

To this day, she hasn’t talked to her family except a few messages here and there on Facebook. 

Probably moms your character! She’s always been maternal, from the time she was a kid playing house for hours on end. Skylar dreamed of being a mom from the time she was a kid, extremely excited to be in that part of her life. Her life now is everything to her, she loves it. 

Is still shook that her and Mat now own a bar after the Mueller’s passing. Frankly, she doesn’t know what to do with it as much as Mat doesn’t, but is sort of excited for this new journey. 

The house they inherited from the Mueller’s was kind of perfect in terms of keeping up with some of the 60′s aesthetic because it had some older features but Skylar continues to fuss with it to make it her midcentury dream to this DAY. 

I need to add more but I FIGURED I SHOULD GET THIS OUT SO!!

Also, sis is a Leo!

[skylarmaes]

[skylarmaes]

The heart is the toughest part of the body. Tenderness is in the hands.

Carolyn Forché, from Because One is Always Forgotten (via nemophilies)

[skylarmaes]

Joanna Garcia Swisher for Latina.