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tiredmaid / instagram 

ps: this is an edit created by me, not a real anime/manga.

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HARD PILLS TO SWALLOW

“I need to lose weight so bad. My rolls are all over the place. Maybe I’ll skip dinner!” -my mom looking in the mirror, age 8

“These people are disgusting, I can’t even watch this show without wanting to throw up” -my mom watching weight loss shows, age 11

“That dress is perfect! Now we just have to make sure you don’t gain any weight before July because it’s already pretty tight” -my mom and aunt as I was trying on bridesmaid dresses, age 13

“Don’t worry, she was a bigger girl. Not really my type, know what I mean?” -my ex talking about his ex girlfriend, age 16

“Has she gained weight? Man, she’s really letting herself go. I mean, she used to be so pretty” -my friend talking about his ex, age 20

“Babe you gotta take it easy on the sugar! That’s how you get a big belly like (coworker), *laughs*” -my boyfriend on an ice cream date, age 21

Every time you made a fat-shaming comment, no matter who the target was, you taught me my ED mindset. You taught me that the world will love me less if I’m fat. You taught me that pretty equals skinny. You praised me when I was low weights and cautioned me when I was gaining. So don’t turn it around on me asking me how this could have happened:

what did you expect?

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I find myself watching this a lot when I am angry and frustrated with myself and my ED... **WARNING: gore content** ||https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_4fFJwGmvw||

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in bed workouts

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Was fasting here.. I wish I looked like this all the time 😵

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✨𝐒𝐀𝐅𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓✨

☕️BLACK COFFEE☕️

this shit is my fucking best friend in the world i fucKING LOVE BLACK COFFEE!!

honestly i can’t even express how much i depend on this hot bean water my life would fucking suck without it!! plus the calories range from 1kcal-25kcal depending on if you make it yourself or buy it at cafes (i make my own so it’s literally 1 calorie a cup)

health benefits

• boosts memory (this is a big fucking benefit for me as i’m currently in year 10 and close to GCSE’s)

• improves workout performance

• beneficial for liver

• increases overall intelligence

• cleanses your stomach

• helps weight loss (yEs)

• powerhouse of antioxidants (B2, B3, B5 & more)

• reduces risk of cancer

• makes you happy (definitely does for me!!)

🍃GREEN TEA🍃

it’s bitter and tastes gross but i mean it’s 0 calories and has a shit ton of health benefits so i just gotta tough it out and drink that shit

health benefits

• contains bioactive compounds which improve health

• can help brain function and improves intelligence

• increases fat burning and physical performance (YES)

• lowers risk of cancer

• lowers risk of alzheimer’s and parkinson’s

• kills bacteria and improves dental health

• lowers risk of type 2 diabetes

• can help lose weight

• appetite suppressant

🍒FRUIT🍒

the less i eat sweets and chocolate, the more i crave naturally sweet things like fruits!

i love love love fruit but you’ve gotta be careful with it because it’s high in sugar and carbs. the best time to eat fruit is in the morning!

health benefits

• boosts energy (ugh i need it, schools draining me)

• improves heart health

• great for prevention and treatment of certain cancers

• aid in digestion

• help weight loss (yeETUS)

• great for skin care

• healthy hair!!

🥦VEGGIES🥦

calories who??? i don’t know her???

vegetables have such little calories and i always feel like a fucking health god when i eat a bowl of greens with no dressings! and let’s be honest, salad doesn’t even need dressings??

health benefits

• help fight bloating

• create a youthful glow

• help reduce stress

• protect your bones!!

• reduces risk of type 2 diabetes

• reduces risk of cancer

💦WATER💦

do i really need to say anymore? water is a literal god send so drink that shit up nOW

health benefits

• provides energy and increases brain power

• promotes weight loss

• flushes our toxins

• boosts immune system

• improves your complexion

• prevents headaches

• prevents cramps and strains

🍣SUSHI🍣

I. CAN’T. LIVE. WITHOUT. SUSHI. I’D. RATHER. DIE. low in calories, tasty as fuck, filling and relatively healthy!!

great for pescatarians, veggie sushi is also the bomb too though.

health benefits

• lowers risk of heart diseases

• ensures healthy hormonal balance

• reduces risk of cancer

• increases red blood cell count

🍚RICE CAKES🍚

lightly salted rice cakes have like 25 calories a pop and adding strawberry jam (30-50kcal) makes for an amazing snack!

you can add literally anything to these fuckers and you’re an aesthetic, low cal god.

health benefits

• source of energy

• great for diets

• regulates hormone activity

• keeps metabolism system healthy

• maintains bone health and immune system

• helps control appetite

• helps digestive system

🍬MINT GUM🍬

sugar-free mint gum has saved me from so many binges oh my god i love!

the only problem is they lose their flavour fairly fast but aye, if you need something to chew but don’t want to eat something just grab a stick of choddy and chew away.

health benefits

• reduces tooth decay and cavities

• strengthens enamel (makes yo teef strong)

• reduces tooth sensitivity

and last but not least…

🥣PORRIDGE🥣

when made with water, fairly low in calories and VERY filling. you can make it with milk too just as long as it’s unsweetened, non dairy milk.

adding other ingredients to add flavour such as a teaspoon of peanut butter, teaspoon of honey, coconut shavings, nuts, seeds and more are all good for you but should be eaten in moderation as calories can add up.

health benefits

• incredibly nutritious

• rich in antioxidants

• lowers cholesterol levels

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A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

A stomach full of water is all you need.

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When I saw I lost a total of…

5 lbs, my wrists seemed less chunky

10 lbs, the back of my shoulders seemed less round

15 lbs, I had lost the hunch behind my back and my stomach had gotten smaller, plus my jawline started showing

20 lbs, my collarbones and the ribs above my breasts started showing, my neck had gotten smaller and my cheekbones started showing

25 lbs, my hipbones were visible when I layed on my bed, and my thighs so tinier when I sat on the shower floor

30 lbs, my arms seemed thinner. I could see bones, nerves and muscle working under layers of fat that had vanished

35 lbs, my calves seemed much more toned than before, and my stomach got even smaller, to the point where I could see my ribs instead of a roll

40 lbs, I became more confident when trying on clothes while shopping

45 lbs, my breasts started shrinking fast, I hadn’t lost in that zone yet

50 lbs, my boss noticed my weight loss and said “wow, is it me or everytime I see you, you’ve gotten smaller?”

55 lbs, I went through my clothes and sent more than half of them to thrift stores

60 lbs, I took a look in the mirror and saw no double chin, no back rolls and no round tummy

At first, you don’t notice the changes. After a year, you’ve forgotten where you even started. But once you start paying attention, you see the results of all those times you cried, starved, overworked yourself or purged. I swear, one day I’ll extend this list to 95 lbs.

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* 🎀 *

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🍃