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I hate living like this. This is no way for a human being to live
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I am not doing well, actually I am doing awful. I literally can't handle any of this bullshit anymore and I am done with it.
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I think I will never be able to have a normal and healthy relationship and that fucking hurts.
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At this point the damage is just too fucking big to ever get healed. It doesn't make sense anymore to try and fix it. It can't be fixed.
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I deserved a mother that cared. I deserved a mother that would be patient and understanding. I deserved a mother that supported my passions and decisions. I deserved a mom that would be there for me and loved me unconditionally. I deserve to live without my inherited trauma and my own childhood trauma. I deserved a normal childhood. I deserved to be a normal teenager. I deserved to have lived in a happy, healthy, and safe home. I deserved to have gone home from school without being afraid of what mood my mother was in. I did not deserve to be my mother's therapist and have her unload her adult problems onto a small child.
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it’s unfair how i have the responsibility to heal myself when i didn’t cause my wound in the first place
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I am so lost.
I feel like I have nothing left, like there is nothing here for me anymore.
I think I just need to end it, it is what is best for mankind
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No one will ever know how lonely i feel, not even my closest friends.
Its so exhausting being myself and knowing im alive every day.
I wish i wasn't.
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At this point I can't even cry anymore. I don't feel anything.
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I don't wanna keep existing, I'm hating literally everything about life
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Nothing really seems enjoyable at all these days. I'm just passing the time as life passes me by
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