siriusly-a-black

[siriusly-a-black]

rj-moonylupin‌:

Once again Remus had made Sirius mad and he was probably going to leave. Again. Why did he keep sabotaging himself like this when all he had to do was say his feelings out loud rather than skirt around them as much as he could. “Of course I care.” he swallowed. There was a lump in his throat and he just couldn’t get rid of it. His hands were shaking and his breathing felt erratic. “I do. Don’t go over, Pad.” Remus was almost begging and he felt sure that his voice was quivering. Why was he so nervous? 

Sirius was surprised at his words, he finally admitted there was something there. He knew there was tension, but he’d been under the impression Remus wanted better, someone with more relationship experience. Screw that. Sirius moved forward, into Remus’s space, putting a hand on the bar so they were close. “Okay,” Sirius agreed, leaning in. “Can I come to yours?” It was different, he wasn’t asking to hang out, he wanted to explore this tension, this chemistry. Hell, Sirius wanted more. He reached for his hands, seeing them shake. “Silly old wolf,” Sirius smirked. “My silly wolf.”

[siriusly-a-black]

rj-moonylupin‌:

The clap on the back was a signpost to the end. Was there more of a platonic way of touching that that? Remus wanted Sirius’s hands on him, wanted to stay sat there, slowly teasing, that’s all. It wasn’t much to ask but bringing himself to do it was another story entirely. “I’m not stopping you, I’d just rather you didn’t.” Great. Step one completed, tell Sirius he didn’t want him to be with someone else, but the inevitable ‘Why?’ was sure to come soon after and that was much harder to explain. Especially in such a public place, was he supposed to declare his feelings in front of all these strangers when it was impossible for him to do in the privacy of his own home. “And it would be much easier to get home if you’d come with me.”

Sirius sighed and ran a hand over his face. This guy was impossible. How was he supposed to respond to that? He was getting mixed signs and had no idea what was going through Remus’ brain. “You need to give me some idea what the hells going on,” Sirius demanded, feeling his temper rise. What was he doing? “This back and forward shit isn’t fair. You either don’t care I go over there and hook up with that guy or you do.” This was the last chance. He was done getting played around. Sirius had feelings, he wasn’t just some emotionless playboy. 

[siriusly-a-black]

PARCHMENT: ANDY

Andy: It will be an improvement upon the flea's then. So what's happened to make you brave Nymphadora? You get to explain to Dora why you're on the couch though.

Sirius: Remus and I are... not fantastic. I just need someone to feed me and stroke my ego for the night.

[siriusly-a-black]

rj-moonylupin‌:

Remus’s anger had come back just as quickly as it had left him. Sirius was just giving up? That wasn’t what Sirius Black did, Remus had always known him as the most annoyingly persistent person. How dare he just let Remus slip away like this. And then have the balls to even suggest being his wingman. No. No way. Not happening. But a nerdy guy of all people, in fact that guy could probably have passed as Remus’s brother. Remus downed the rest of his drink and fixed his eyes to the bar top. “I’m not helping you lie to a guy to lure him into bed.” he said, keeping his voice as cheerful as possible. Even a hint of jealousy might mean he had to admit his feelings and he wasn’t sure he was ready for that whirlwind.

“Don’t be a cock block Remus,“ Sirius complained with a roll of his eyes. “Fine, I’ll go get hims myself. I usually go with unspeakable because there’s no way for them to trace that. Clever, huh?“ He finished up his drink and stood up from the seat. He clapped Remus on the back. “I’m glad we’re friends and back to where we were before. I was worried we would end up falling out of this.“ Sirius turned to the man down the bottom of the bar. Sirius was in a feisty and needed some way to release tension. “Are you good finding your way back alone?“ Sirius asked. He was trying to show Remus he was serious, he was moving on from his crush, putting it behind him. 

[siriusly-a-black]

rj-moonylupin‌:

Remus could feel goosebumps on his skin from the slightest of touches. And he was the one apparently sexually frustrating Sirius, really seemed like the other way around after that. He glanced at the nearby men, mentally figuring out if they were Sirius’s type. Did he have a type? Was Remus his type? The thought blew his mind. “In my experience, being sober hasn’t stopped you from being naked.” Remus was mulling over Sirius’s words a little, thinking about how Sirius implied that he definitely wasn’t over him. Nice. He still had a shot. If he could ever have the courage to make a move. “I’m not sexually frustrating you on purpose, I can’t help it.”

“That’s true, although I do blame James for my nakedness, it was his idea most of the time,“ Sirius replied with a laugh. Sirius was never shy, especially in Hogwarts when it came to dares and bets. He sighed and patted Remus’ arm. “I know and its my own fault for bringing this up. I’ve always sworn I’d keep my feelings to myself for this reason. I won’t mention it ever again, okay? We’re best friends and I’ll get us back to that. No throwing myself at you Moony, okay?“ He smiled at Remus, confident this was what the man wanted. He didn’t want Sirius, and there was nothing else Sirius could do about that. “Now, as my best friend, are you going to wing man for me or not?“ Sirius smirked, nodding to the man he’d sent a drink to earlier. “Nerdy, just my type. Think I can convince him I’m a secret Ministry agent? Unspeakable maybe?“

[siriusly-a-black]

PARCHMENT: ANDY

Andy: Only second? You're being demoted. You can crash yes, will I protect you from your niece? Unlikely.

Sirius: I'll end up as padfoot with glitter in my coat. You should protect poor padfoot. Thank you, I've got work tomorrow so I'll be gone before you lot wake up.

[siriusly-a-black]

PARCHMENT: ANDY

Sirius: Heyyyy my second favourite Black (because I love myself fyi). Can I crash at yours tonight so people can't find me? Without your daughter drawing on my face this time pls.

[siriusly-a-black]

mollsweaslxy‌:

“damn, how did you find out? i was trying to keep it a secret.” molly couldn’t help but to laugh. not only at sirius’ question, but how straight his expression was when he said it. “men always think with their stomachs, don’t they?” she asked with a smile. “if i can keep it down i’ll eat just about anything. it’s hard to find much that any of the weasley kids want me to keep down, but if i find something, it’s never ending.”

“Hey, I’m a growing boy, foods important and I need to keep my strength up. Can’t be a player without the energy, can I?“ Sirius teased. He loved eating, he always used to sneak into the Hogwarts kitchen. “I have no idea how you manage day to day.“

[siriusly-a-black]

rcgulusvrcturus‌:

— ✴︎ Regulus hadn’t expected a response, let alone a meeting with Sirius, but he was grateful. He should have followed him out the door, even if he couldn’t have moved in with the Potters, he could’ve at least been a better brother. He missed Sirius, and he wished he could go back and change the way he’d acted. 

      Regulus stepped through the doors to the pub, glancing around the room, he smiled, walking over to where Sirius was already sitting in the back. Whatever happened, they could at least say they’d tried. And he got to at least see Sirius, at least. Without the intention of ignoring what he had to say. “ Hey, ” Regulus smiled as he approached the table. “ How, er, how are you ? ”

Sirius couldn’t take his eyes off Remus as he approached. He looked different, more grown up from what he could remember of his little brother. Sirius gestured to the chair for Regulus to take a seat, to relax so they could actually talk. This was going to be awkward either way. 

“Hey erm... good I guess? You know, everything going on its not great,“ Sirius said. Questions were racing through his mind. What side was Reg on? Was he fighting against Sirius? He couldn’t ask them, not yet. “Everything going on I wanted to check in, I know we have problems and issues but you’re still my brother Reg.”

[siriusly-a-black]

rj-moonylupin‌:

Remus couldn’t help but feel like Sirius’s injuries were entirely his fault, if only he had managed to get him to stay the other night he might have avoided this fight with Bellatrix. And even if not, he should have been there to pick him up, help with his wounds, like Sirius had done for him many a time. The biggest question though, who was this ominous someone. He hated this stupid fight they were having. But Remus was ripped from his spiral of guilt by Sirius’s poor use of the English language. “Are you completely sloshed?” How long had Sirius really been sat here drinking now. “I’m not being funny, but I have no clue what we’re doing." 

Sirius snorted at the question, was he drunk? Ha. Wait... was he drunk? Probably. The days had blurred, he couldn’t remember stopping or restarting. It was just an ongoing thing. “Drunk?” Sirius repeated the word, leaning a little too close to Moony. He ran a finger down Remus’ front, getting a little too close to his waist before pulling away. “Moony I’d be naked right now if I was drunk. No, I’m not entirely drunk.” He moved away for his drink and let out a huff. “You’re here to sexually frustrate me and I’m here to pretend I’m over you by objectifying nearby men. Does that sum it up?”

[siriusly-a-black]

rj-moonylupin‌:

So Sirius wasn’t going to make another move. “Wish you would.” He muttered under his breath, hoping it wasn’t audible, Sirius was probably too invested in making eyes at the guy across the bar to bother listening properly. Remus raised an eyebrow at Sirius’s apparent pain and suddenly the jealousy and mixed up emotions turned to fury. “Bellatrix? What the fuck did that bitch do to you?!” He asked, leaning in, his voice probably a little louder than he intended due to the sheer amount of alcohol he had consumed already. Shit. Did it sound like he cared too much? It was all very well that they had argued but if anyone even dared to look at Sirius the wrong way they should be answering to Remus. Well, he felt that way. Carrying that out was harder to do. 

Sirius shrugged, trying to play off the pain. “I started a fight with her, got into it,” He explained, still not looking Remus. “Some curses, you know what she’s like. I’m fine, someone took care of it for me.” Someone that wasn’t Moony, because Sirius was too pissed off even though he was in pain. “What are we even doing here? This just feels.. counter protective.” Sirius was 90% sure he’d used those words right and felt super proud of himself. Ha, take that bookworm.

[siriusly-a-black]

mollsweaslxy‌:

“why do you think i let them see you so often?” molly asked teasingly. she meant it, however. she knew that sirius liked to cause chaos, but she felt like he was a good influence on them. “if sirius jr is anything like his, or her, brothers and wreaks havoc through out the entire pregnancy, i’ll definitely have to take you up on that.”

“Is it because I’m really the father to all your kids?“ Sirius questioned, a straight expression. He was glad Molly was feeling better at least. She was getting over the shock of the pregnancy. “So, do you get to eat anything within sight now you’re pregnant again? Bet that’s one of the perks.“

[siriusly-a-black]

rj-moonylupin‌:

Remus clenched his jaw and his fist tightened on his glass. Sirius was doing this on purpose, he had to be, no way would he usually be so obvious about this. Not that Remus had ever know his friend to be subtle, but this was another level. But that was fine. Two can play at that game. Remus smiled at the barman as he paid for his own drink, passing over a little extra money and giving an obvious wink. “Have one on me.” That would show Sirius. Hah! “Oh, so good night then? Mine was pretty crazy too.” At Molly’s. But he chose to keep that piece of information back. If Sirius could play with his emotions it was only fair to do the same back.

Sirius hated this, tit for tat. Going at each other because they were both pissed off. After a rough few nights, he was so over the petty behavior. “I’m not going to jump you, I’ve managed to control myself for the last few years, it's not going to change now,” Sirius bit out, feeling annoyed. All of a sudden Moony was acting like he needed to prove a point? Show how little he was interested in Sirius? Fuck him. “I’m trying to show you I’m not some fangirl, I’m moving on.” He finished his point and turned to find the bartender, he needed shots. “Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” Sirius complained. He moved in his seat, hissing at the pain from the other night. Fighting was Bellatrix wasn’t his best move. He felt sore everywhere, she was a powerful witch, no matter how much Sirius hated admitting it. “Fucking Bella,” Sirius complained. 

[siriusly-a-black]

rj-moonylupin‌:

Remus downed half his pint before Sirius had even finished speaking, he desperately needed some dutch courage for this night ahead. Especially with his determination to not apologise. “Weather has been a bit cold.” Remus started, knowing full well that this was not what Sirius meant, but avoiding the obvious for as long as possible seemed the easiest route for now. “Think it might rain later.” he added, finishing off his pint and waving over for another two. If Remus kept drinking like this he wasn’t going to manage to keep all his feelings in for long, but who cared at that point. “Did you get home safe the other night?”

Sirius’ eyebrows shot up as he watched Moony down the pint. Well, things were clearly going great for both of them. “Weather?” Sirius snorted. Right. He rolled his eyes and choose not to comment. Sirius drank a little more, eyes on the bartender as he came over to refill Remus’ drink. “Eventually,” Sirius admitted. “Think it was six in the morning before I finally got home. Turned things into quite a fun night.” It was a dick move, but he was trying to let Moony know he wasn’t some pathetic loser in love with him. Nope. “Hey,” Sirius said to the bartender, holding up some cash. “Refill that guy’s drink on me?” Sirius asked, nodding down the end fo the bar. Some nerd in glasses, he was cute and definitely Sirius’ type. “For later,” Sirius shrugged, turning back to Moony.

[siriusly-a-black]

rj-moonylupin‌:

Remus had been stood outside the pub for a good ten minutes working up the courage to meet with Sirius. For all he knew this could be some sort of Order meeting and they were just going to discuss that. What he really didn’t want was to have to apologise. Remus had been mulling it over the last few days, hardly thinking of much else to be quite honest, and he had come to the conclusion that he had done nothing wrong. If Sirius wanted to be friends again the ball was in his court, he was the one that had stormed out, it was only fair that he patched it up from his end first. 

He caught the glimpse of the back of Sirius’s head as he walked in and he felt the butterflies in his stomach. No. He was angry, this wasn’t supposed to happen. But all was fine, all he had to do was keep a poker face. “Hi.” Remus replied abruptly, taking a seat. “For me?” he asked, already picking up the drink. At least that was something, if Sirius had got him a drink surely he couldn’t hate him entirely.

“Hey,“ Sirius greeted, feeling awkward. He’d known this man for years and now he felt out of place? How the hell did that happen? “Yeah,“ Sirius pushed the pint closer, making sure he didn’t touch Remus. They’d known each other for years, but they had never been this frosty to each other. 

Sirius grabbed his own pint so he had something to do with his hands. “I always make things awkward so maybe you should think a conversation starter for us?” Sirius asked. His mind was blank, for the first time ever, he had nothing to say to Remus. Well, he had plenty to say, but nothing nice. Stupid bloody werewolf. 

[siriusly-a-black]

Sirius sat at the bar, hunched over his pint and feeling more uncomfortable than ever before. He’d spent the last few days sulking, drinking too much and sleeping with too many people. He was rebelling against his hurt, the pain he’d suffered all at once. Dumbledore’s death had hit him hard, then the run-in with Remus had just finished off the night. 

So, after avoiding Remus for a few days, they were meeting up. As if nothing had happened. Fuck. “Keep them coming,” Sirius told the bartender, lifting up his now empty glass. He ordered a drink for Remus and waited. His stomach was in knots. He’d admitted to his feelings to Remus, things were sure to be awkward.  “Hey,” Sirius greeted, turning to see who was there. 

@rj-moonylupin

[siriusly-a-black]

rj-moonylupin‌:

Remus followed after him as quick as he could but stopped a few feet away, his own eyes fixed on his feet. He was emotionally exhausted and didn’t have the energy to fight back anymore, it just hurt more and more with every word they exchanged. They’d fought before, but never like this, and his heart hurt. It would probably be better if Sirius did leave, Remus had a rule about allowing people seeing him cry, he didn’t appreciate sympathy, and he certainly didn’t want it from Sirius right now. “Yeah, sure, probably an Order meeting soon. I’ll chat with Minnie.” It was easier to keep the goodbyes work related, like Sirius said, pretend they hadn’t just said all of that. “Just… just be careful, okay?” he glanced up, giving a sad sort of smile.

Sirius watched Remus, shifting uncomfortably. Would they ever be the same after this? Could Remus look at Sirius the same way? Knowing he had feelings and was crushing on him like a school girl? Fuck. “Yeah, whatever Remus,” Sirius replied. He was still hurt and made and taking it out on Remus was hard to resist. He turned and walked out the door. His heart was hammering, a stupid fantasy of Remus running after him came to his mind. Sirius Black didn’t get happily ever after. 

Reaching for his wand, Sirius left. To get drunk, to fight and get laid.