siriiusblaack

[siriiusblaack]

this ending will destroy me FOREVER

[siriiusblaack]

marlcnemckinnon​:

So there she stood. Looking from her boyfriend to her friend for what felt like forever as she tried to figure out what was going on. When Sirius fell silent and simply left it to Remus, she was only left in more confusion as her green eyes settled on the very nervous boy who looked seconds away from bursting into tears and crumbling onto the ground. Last night, I… she repeated in her mind as she noticed the way he was looking at her. What did that mean? Was she supposed to understand that? Her face was riddled with confusion but slowly, the look disappeared and it was replaced with a look of pure surprise and realization. It hadn’t just been a creature that had tried to attack her the night before. It was a person. Her mind was racked with thoughts of what it could be until she finally fell on one thing; werewolf. 

Marlene’s heart raced in her chest at the sheer thought of such a fragile and almost innocent person being stuck with such a terrible… problem? An unsolvable one. But Marlene only did was she thought was best and moved forward, standing on her tip toes as she pulled Remus down towards her and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. “Oh, Remmy,” she began as one of her hands gently ran up and down his back, “It’s not your fault. I want you to know that what happened last night was somethin’ completely out of your control and… quite frankly.. I shouldn’t have been there regardless. Please don’t let it eat away at you. This just makes you a little bit more special, yeah?” 

Click. There was the lightbulb moment. Remus hitched his breath and felt his body tense up, bracing himself for the possible reaction from Marlene. Werewolves were shunned in the wizarding world, viewed as dirty and subhuman. This might have been the seventies but there was still much progress to make. He was ready to lose a friend. And Sirius too grew scared, knowing how... at times volatile his girlfriend could be. 

But yet, she did the opposite. Remus felt himself pulled into a tight hug and he let out a sigh of relief. Sirius could almost see the stress dissolve from his body, and he smiled softly. “I’m sorry I never told you...” He mumbled, appreciating the hug more than usual. “I just... I was scared. If Sirius hadn’t pushed me out of the way, I...”

If Sirius hadn’t pushed me out of the way. That was another thing that needed to be discussed. Pulling away from the hug, Sirius looked at Marlene with a slightly mischievous but also grimaced look. Marlene had been confused over what had shoved Remus back before Sirius showed up last night. “Oh yeah. About that. You got a spare ten minutes, Marley?” the smaller boy gave the girl a smile. “I... gotta show you something.”

[siriiusblaack]

marlcnemckinnon​:

After the experiences of the night before, Marlene didn’t exactly feel like herself the following day. She had gone to her classes and done her best to act normal around her friends but there was definitely something off with her which they easily picked up on. Her friends, thankfully, weren’t ones to pry so she was glad they didn’t ask questions but the way they would look at her told her they were plenty concerned. Only offering them a small I swear I'm fine in hopes that it would help. Quite frankly, she didn’t really know if she would be fine for some time after nearly being killed but she could only hope that it would be okay. 

It had felt like the day would last forever but eventually classes were over and she’d made her way to the library to spend some hours studying with Alice and Lily. Her focus, however, didn’t quite show itself so she’d excused herself from the study session early and headed off to Gryffindor Tower in order to at least find her boyfriend for some sort of distraction. Marlene would happily settle for simply sitting next to him if at all possible. But when she’d gotten there, the common room was practically empty except for a few first years that were playing chess in the corner. Maybe he’s in bed, she thought to herself and pulled out her wand, flicking it and sending the stuff in her hands to her bed before slipping it back into her robes and heading up the boys dormitory stairs. 

Upon entering Sirius’ she head a weird whispering which was followed by her name. Brows furrowed, she slowly went into the room and followed where the voices were and cleared her thoat, “I don’t mean to be interrupting this conversation but am I allowed to know what it is you’re talking about behind this wall that somehow involves me? More importantly… why do you look so terrified, Remmy? Is everything okay?” Her voice was confused but laced with concern as she gave Remus a once over. It wasn’t often that she saw him in tears and she considered the boy to be very much like a brother to her so if someone had hurt him in anyway? She’d be getting detention pretty soon.

Sirius shook his head, placing a hand on his friends arm, about to pull him into a hug. “Remus, what happened last night wasn’t your fault, you can’t control tha --” Both boys froze. Suddenly, just as they spoke of the girl, she appeared right before them. Caught in the act. Sirius’ eyes widened a little in panic, for once stumped in his life. What could he say? “Marlene, I...” He trailed off. This wasn’t his story to tell, it was Remus’. And despite it all, Sirius would never talk on something his best friend felt so emotional about.

Remus was taller than them both but far more fragile. His eyes were glossy from shame and panic. But he had no words, he just looked at his friend and shook his head.

“Last night, I...” He couldn’t finish the sentence. All he did was gaze at Marley with shining eyes, but she would know. One look and she would know. Know what ‘last night meant’, know what Remus did, know what he was.

[siriiusblaack]

marlcnemckinnon​:

Ironically, moments like these were few and far between for the pair. They were almost never this quiet when they were together and always had something to talk about. Or fight about. People always wondered why it was that they were even together but most people would never really notice moments where they were both vulnerable. Where they both simply allowed themselves to feel things without having to put on some kind of act for the world. Which ultimately they both did at times regardless of what they said. Her eyes didn’t leave him as she felt the way he wiped away her tears, leaning slightly into his touch and simply allowing him to guide her inside. Only just dawning on Marlene that she didn’t quite feel her legs from how fast they’d been running.

She wanted to trust him, she did. But something about the way that he phrased things and went about things often times left her with many questions. Granted, she was no saint herself with many faults of her own but at least she could say that she was very open with him. Surprisingly. Even now as she got an answer, she didn’t quite believe him. “.. but… but when I did a tracking spell to find you it told me that you were already in the forest? How would…” she trailed off, simply shaking her head bc she genuinely didn’t want to get into an argument over the logistics. Leaning into him, she kept her grip tight on his robes and simply allowed the assistance. Upon his question, all she did was nod for a moment before quietly saying, “That would be nice. I don’t know if I’ll really do much sleeping but… I just want to lay next to you.”

He could feel how light her body felt, the way she seemed like she could collapse any second now. It was rather unnatural on Marlene considering she usually stood so tall, but in a way, it was almost nice to see the more vulnerable side of his girlfriend. Her emotions that she didn’t always show in favour of a loud voice. Hearing her question his excuses, he shook his head gently and moved her down the corridor, “Don’t worry about it. Okay?” Running his hand over her arm, he cracked a gentle smile, “... Sure. Stay all night.”

THE NEXT EVENING

Sirius and Marlene had done exactly as they said they would. He’d sneaked into the dorm with his girlfriend at his side and they spent the night in his bed doing... nothing. Just holding one another. Breathing, thinking with one another. It had done the pair of them some good to not talk for once in their lives, but Sirius also knew that she could see through his lies. And he hated lying to her. How long could he keep it up.

Remus had been discharged from the hospital wing that afternoon and had made his way back to the dorms. He hadn’t said a word. He’d been silent for a long time. James had informed him of the night’s events, how... how he could have killed Marlene. This information had shaken an innocent Remus to the core. It wasn’t in his nature to be cruel, but knowing someone nearly died because of him? He saw nothing but disgust for himself.

“... Sirius, I... I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean t-to...” Remus and Sirius were hidden in the corner of the dorm room, behind a wall. Remus was am emotional mess. He was stuttering, arms shaking, tears in his eyes. “You know I c-can’t control it, I --”

“I know, Moony. I know.” Sirius never judged him. He knew Remus would never do such a thing. “You can’t blame yourself for this.”

“I... I know, but... Marlene’s my friend, I wouldn’t... knowing I nearly did that?” 

[siriiusblaack]

marlcnemckinnon​:

It felt like they were running forever but maybe it was a total of around 5 minutes if anything. She felt herself getting hit with random branches and she’d trip up now and then but somehow, Marlene managed to keep going despite it all. Maybe it was the adrenaline. Maybe it was just fear. She didn’t question it. Eventually, they were out in the open of the Hogwarts grounds and close to an entrance once more but the whole event had left her extremely shaken and nervous to the point that all she could really do was cry. Her cheeks were the colors of ripe tomatoes as she collided into her boyfriend and merely wrapped her arms tightly around him, hands clutching to the back of his robes desperately never wanting to let go of him. They didn’t let go even when he pulled himself back to talk to her but all Marlene did was look up at him with tears running down her cheeks in pure silence. Eventually, all she managed to do was nod her head as if to say okay at his request before hiding her face in his chest once more. Marlene needed to calm down somehow and the only way that she really knew how was to remain silent against him, allowing herself to take in his scent and simply appreciate that he exists in the same place she does.

But once the minutes had passed and she had calmed down, the Gryffindor girl tilted her head up to look at her boyfriend before gently placing a kiss against his cheek, “I’m sorry… i just… it didn’t sound like you were tellin’ me the truth earlier so I had to find out what was happenin’ on my own.” Maybe that was the reason she was going to give and stick to. Definitely not because she thought he was off doing other things with people that didn’t need to be around him or anything. “Thank you for saving me but… but what were you doing in the woods to begin with? Why were you there?” The biggest question of all outside of what it was that had tried to attack and what it was that had knocked into the creature enough for them to run. How he simply appeared was another question. It all felt so.. strange.

Sirius noted a tiny scratch on her left cheek and gently wiped away the small speck of blood with his thumb, noting his own scars he had suddenly developed on his own hands and face. He was finally able to catch his breath, and gently moved her inside the building so they could find some sort of warmth and safety rather than being stuck outside in the cold January air. Looking back to her, Sirius’ hands returned to her face, delicately, wiping away those straggling tears, and keeping his other arm around her shoulder as he she clenched onto his robes tightly, feeling the way she hide against him. It was one of the few moments that couple was quiet and were truly able to appreciate... well, them.

“I’m sorry you felt that way.” He mumbled, keeping his voice soft so they weren’t caught being out of bed after hours. The thought that Marley didn’t believe him saddened Sirius a little... he wanted there to be trust. But he was also to blame for this, how could he desire trust when he hid secrets of his own. Her questions further proved how hypocritical he was being right now. “I was looking for you.” He lied, “Tracking spell?” Continuing down the corridor, he moved her delicately down the corridor. “... Want to sleep in my bed tonight?” He asked; he could tell she needed the comfort right now. “I don’t want to leave you.”

[siriiusblaack]

marlcnemckinnon​:

The growling she was hearing sounded like it was coming from all around her. Marlene’s feet moved slowly in a circle as she did her best to pinpoint a location or source to the sound but everything came up useless since it was just beyond recognition. The forest, that is. It wasn’t until she turned back to where she stood and she lifted her shakey hand up was it that she saw an enormous creature standing before her. Teeth as sharp as daggers and claws that could slice you dead in seconds. It stood on two legs and was almost hunched over. And Marlene remained frozen in place in fear. Her heart rattled against her chest as she let out a shrill scream thinking that this was how she was going to meet her end but all she saw happen was the creature fall over after something else hit it. But in seconds, was met with her boyfriend in front of her? “W.. where the hell did you come from?! How did that th-thi…” she had millions of questions running through her mind but she would be lying if she said she wasn’t relieved to see the potential love of her life standing right before her. Coming to her aid despite always acting like she could handle anything herself. But the creature was soon getting up again and before she could even react, she was being pulled. And Marlene ran as fast as her legs would go, not at all releasing the grip she had on Sirius’ hand despite the tears in her eyes making harder to see in the dark.

Thankfully, Marlene hadn’t wandered too far into the forest, but they weren’t safe yet. Sirius didn’t look back to see what Remus was doing, all he did was hold on to Marlene as tight as he could so he knew she was safe, pulling her through the woodland trees and dark greenery until they finally reached the opening back onto the main grounds. And also luckily, the werewolf hadn’t followed them, either the stun spell had worked longer than the teenage boy had expected, or the wolf had become distracted by something else instead. 

Continuing to pull Marlene along until they were safely by one of the many entrances to the castle, Sirius stumbled to a halt, Marlene falling into him but he did was grip her tightly in a hug, out of breath and skin hot from the sheer nerves in his system. “You’re safe.” He gasped, trying to catch his breath, burying his face in her hair. “Fucking... you’re safe, you’re safe, you’re safe.” Pulling back, he kept his hands on each of her arms, noticing the tears in her eyes and the way he himself still seemed to be shaking. “The forest? What were you thinking? Don’t ever do that again, d’you understand?” He moved in, pressing a kiss upon her forehead, “... Your arrogance’ll kill you one day.” But all he could do was pull her back into a hug. He was simply relieved that she was safe in his arms. “Only you, Marls... only you.” He mumbled, keeping her close.

[siriiusblaack]

marlcnemckinnon​:

Marlene McKinnon wasn’t a good girlfriend; that was something that she had been made very much aware of the moment that her and Sirius had chosen to even start dating and give each other an official title. She was incredibly loud, reckless, stubborn, and ultimately toxic. She didn’t like seeing other girls flirting with her boyfriend, she sometimes questioned the things he did to the point that led to an argument, and let us not get started on the countless times they had already called it quits over the simplest of miscommunication. He wasn’t the prize of the bunch either with his own issues and traumas but something that Marlene did know was that in her heart of hearts, Sirius Orion Black was the only person to ever make her feel truly special. Despite their high highs and very low lows… he made her feel a love that she couldn’t put words to and she always did her best to give him the same. Who was she without him? A whore? Marley didn’t exactly enjoy thinking of that. But that was exactly why she’d grown annoyed when Sirius once again disappeared without a single word. Where the bloody hell did he disappear off to once a month and chose to pretend something else was happening? Did he really think she wouldn’t notice?

Safe to say that the young Gryffindor witch was livid. Boiling.

But she was a smart girl despite her reckless behavior and she’d finally chosen to remain awake long enough for her friends to fall asleep before performing a tracking spell to find her boyfriend. Marlene was a bit suspicious as to why it would be leading her to the woods but with her robes secured around her, she had set off towards the wood with her want outstretched before her. There was something about going so deep into the woods that made even Marlene uneasy. It made her feel unprotected, scared, frozen. All three things that in normal day to day wouldn’t be an occurrence for the witch but somehow it took a bit of darkness and crazy shadows to do it. “Sirius!” She called out as she looked down at the ground, climbing over some massive roots that were coming up out of a tree, “I know you’re fuckin’ in ‘ere so just come out already and I swear I won’t hex you!” She began before humming softly and adding on, “At least not that badly!” An understatement really. But something in her soon stopped her in her tracks as she heard a distant snapping of branches. “Sirius? Sirius, is that you?” She called out, brow furrowed, “Is this some fuckin’ joke? It’s not very funny!” Blinking, all she really saw was the darkness outside of her want tip as dread rippled through her. “… Babe?” This time, Marlene’s voice was soft but evidently full of fear.

Sirius bounded through the forest after the werewolf creature, even though that was an equally dangerous and stupid thing to be doing as Marlene even being here in the first place. His heart rattled in his chest and his face grew hot from the sweat but all he could do was cling onto his wand tightly and pray he found his girlfriend before Remus did. Not that his friend was doing this on purpose, he was lost in the depth’s of a creatures mind and any hope of taming him was lost the moment he caught the scent of a human. Hearing her scream about how he was apparently cheating on her, he gritted his teeth and let out a hiss, “Fucking idiot, what’s wrong with her?!” in both frustration and panic. Mainly panic. 

In the distance, however, the werewolf creature followed the sound of the teenage girl, eager to find his next target. Any shred of the awkward and shy teenage boy was gone and replaced by a bloodthirsty monster who prowled in the darkness. He could see Marlene and his eyes grew hungry. Coming to a slow halt, he moved in the shadows as all the girl would hear would be a low growling. Until eventually, he emerged from the woodlands into the moonlight. How terrifying he looked, snarling and raising his claws, ready to attack the girl.

Sirius, just metres away, felt his eyes widen and his heart in his throat, almost. Gasping, he didn’t think, and chose brute force over major; and seconds later, a large black dog bounded towards the wolf monster, strong enough and big enough to knock him to the side before he could harm the girl. Hidden in the bushes, Sirius returned to his human self and rushed over to his girlfriend, placing a hand on her shoulders.

“Marls, we have to --” The werewolf had grown angrier, rising to his feet again. Grabbing his wand, Sirius moved himself protectively in front of the girl, arms out, grabbing his wand and practically screaming out a ‘Stupefy!’ to knock the wolf back. Grasping her hand tighter than he ever had, he cried “RUN!” and pulled her away as fast as his legs would take him.

[siriiusblaack]

Another full moon meant another night of mayhem for Sirius and his three best friends. Though it was that one day in the month that caused Remus an ungodly amount of pain, Sirius hoped that the thought of spending the evening with his friends where he could feel more sane would help his werewolf friend push through the pain. Sirius loved it, it wasn’t often that he could spend time in his animagus form at Hogwarts, something of which he had worked very hard to achieve and he wanted to enjoy the perk. This evening was a time he could spend freely with his gift.

Marlene didn’t know a thing. Sirius told her everything but never this. This was Remus’ story to tell, and though the rebel child might have been an idiot most of the time, he respected his friends more than anything, and as such, kept quiet on Remus’ condition. Even though he knew Marley wouldn’t care in the slightest, he would never speak about it. But the fact that he disappeared once a month had apparently not gone unnoticed by the girl. However, quidditch practice had conveniently fallen on this very evening, and James had lied and said he felt too sick. That should have been enough to keep Marley unaware of his activities. Should have.

But it wasn’t. The girl, just as a reckless as he was, had used a tracking spell it seemed. The four animals who wove their way through the woods came to a sudden halt when the werewolf creature became distracted. Confused, Sirius noticed the way the wolf sniffed the air, the way his ears pricked up. But what? It wasn’t until he heard an all too familiar voice calling his very name that he felt his heart drop to his stomach.

Marley.

In a matter of seconds, the werewolf had abandoned the other animals and headed into the woodlands to find the girl. Sirius, in a panic, found himself human again, searching for his wand from his robes. “Fuck... fuck!” He hissed, ignoring James and Peter and running after Remus, desperate to find his girlfriend before he did. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

[siriiusblaack]

in memorium.

“I’m sorry it took me so long... I... didn’t know what to say.”

AUGUST 1981

It had taken Sirius one month. One whole month before he had found the courage to say goodbye. The funeral might have been weeks ago but that hadn’t felt like a goodbye. That had simply been a day of remembering for himself and his friends. A day when Lily Evans and Dorcas Meadowes had mourned the loss of one of their best friends and Sirius Black cried for the love of his life who he could no longer hold the way he once could.

Marlene McKinnon, the only girl he had ever loved. Once someone full of life, the loudest person in the room, the one that made him laugh the most. Now? Nothing. She was nothing but another casualty, another number and Sirius felt the emptiness in his heart.

But he wanted time alone with her. The train to Durham from London was... long. He hadn’t told anyone where he was going and for how long for, not even James or Remus, he wanted some time to be by himself. To think. To mourn. He’d chosen the train as opposed to merely apparating there to prolong the journey. To not be faced with it so quickly, give him time.

So there he stood in the rain, his hair soaking wet, his beard overgrown and his eyes tired. He’d cried an ocean in the past month, yet it felt so never ending. This was a funeral for one. He stared at her headstone, Here lies Marlene McKinnon... rest in peace. and nothing felt more wrong than this. Marlene McKinnon wasn’t still, she didn’t lay anywhere. She most certainly was not peaceful.

She was a beautiful chaos.

“I’m sorry it took me so long... I... didn’t know what to say.” He began, looking down for a moment and shaking his head. The tears already flowed. “.. I... I know you’d hate me for not showing up, I just...”

Sirius let out a harsh blow of air, his hand running over his mouth after. He had been the one to find the McKinnons that night in their home. An entire family wiped out... just like that. No survivors. From that point, Sirius had spiralled, unable to move on from the images he had seen that day, how he’d held onto her body for hours and screamed her name over and over. He trusted no one, he spoke to no one, he just drowned himself away.

“You’d probably call me pathetic right now, seeing m-me cry like this...” He continued in a mumble, “But fuck, why’d you do this to me Marley?!” He suddenly cried, pacing back and forth. He felt like he was going insane. “I feel like I’m dead beside you and I h-haven’t even died.” He sobbed. His fingertips fell to the neckline of his jumper, moving around for something. A chain.

Pulling it out, Sirius revealed a simple chain with a simple gold ring hanging on it. “... R-remember how we used to take the piss outta Jay and Lily for getting married so young?” Sirius swallowed a lot of air, glancing down at the piece of jewellery, “Didn’t sound like a half bad idea sometimes....”

“... Wait for me, won’t you?”

MAY, 1996

15 years had passed. Wounds still felt fresh. Sirius stood in the exact same place he’d been stood all those years back. But things seemed a little different. He was older, his beard was different -- was that speck of grey hair in his perfect locks? He was only thirty-six. He seemed to smiling this time.

“Don’t kill me... I know it’s been years since I was last here, but... I was slightly preoccupied.” He attempted to make light of an incredibly dark situation. Being locked away in Azkaban for years for crimes he didn’t commit, only to be released into a world suddenly looking rather similar to the way it did back in the 70s. “Look at me, huh? All old. At least you’re still young.”

His smile wavered for a moment. Sirius had never considered love after Marlene had died. There simply wasn’t the option for it without her. He felt more whole knowing his heart forever remained true to her, than if he even tried to find romance again. That was enough for him. “I’m getting that same feeling again, Marls... the way we felt when we were kids? It’s back. He’s back, stupid prick...”

In true fashion, Sirius and Marlene had often referred to the Dark Lord as a variety of childish names back in their youth. It was one of the many small ways to cope and smile in uncertain times. The said tradition continued to this day. “... I don’t know what’ll become of me this time around, life has a fun way of throwing the worst possible outcome at me in times like this, but hey, what’s worse than Azkaban?” He laughed. 

The lack of response killed him.

”... But I think if there’s one thing all those years locked up taught me, it’s... don’t ignore those gut feelings. Follow through with whatever the hell you want to do, ‘cause you never know when your time’s over.” Sighing, the man mimicked his actions from when he’d been just twenty-one. He pulled out the chain and untied it from his neck, pulling the ring into his hand.

“... This is for us, for all those years we never got, to make twenty year old me smile and hopefully, make twenty year old you smile too. I was always good at that.” Chuckling, the man got on one knee, his empty hand running delicately over her headstone. 

“Marlene McKinnon, you perfect pain the arse, my beautiful chaos... will you marry me?” 

Sirius felt yet again, tears roll down his cheeks. But this time they were tears of laughter and closure, fulfilling the request he should have done before time had ran out all those years back. Pausing for a moment, he leaned into, and carefully dug the ring into the ground, covering it up after. Placing it on her finger, so to speak.

“Merlin, I hope you said yes.”

[siriiusblaack]

scallison 2.06 & 3.23

“I felt like I was gonna fall asleep in your arms” “I like it when you fall asleep in my arms”

[siriiusblaack]

marlcnemckinnon​:

Rolling her eyes playfully, Marlene should have expected that kind of reaction but maybe she’d been thinking too much on the moment itself to really focus on something so minimal. She was more so surprised that she was being so soft and demure considering she had a nature of being everything but. Again, Sirius Black just did that to her. “You’re actually making me regret tellin’ you that I like you. Could you be more insufferable?” She questioned, back with the remarks much like he had just told her to do. It was a pattern but maybe she’d find a way to stop doing it. Or maybe that’s who they were. “Be quiet,” she eventually added, leaning up to close the gap between them as their lips met once again. 

However, this time they didn’t get so lucky considering that not even a minute in, the door of the classroom was opening and the annoyed voice of Professor McGonagall was echoing off the walls. “Miss McKinnon and Mr. Black! Out of this classroom this instant before I’m forced to deduct house points!” Pulling away quickly from the boy, the girl was biting her lip as her hand instinctively grabbed his and began pulling him along, “Of course, Professor, we’ll be on our way! No need for any of that, terribly sorry!” The irritated look on her face was only followed by the pinching of the bridge of her nose but soon enough, Marlene had pulled herself and Sirius all the way down the hall. Glancing behind them, the girl made sure that the older woman wasn’t in sight before leaning up and pressing her lips against his hastily yet deeply before pulling back, “Meet me in the astronomy tower after dinner?”

“There it is.” He grinned in amusement, poking her chest playfully with his finger. “That good, ol’ fashion romance -- being rude to the guy you have a crush on!” Even if she was rude, Sirius couldn’t help but tease the girl as well. Consider this as payback, maybe, but that was just who they were. “I could be a lot more insufferable. Ask Potter.” Returning to their more gentle state of kissing, Sirius nearly yelled when the door opened wide and Professor McGonagall entered the room and began to yell at the pair of teenagers for their... unacceptable behaviour. “Sorry, Professor. You won’t catch us again!” He insisted, hurrying outside and down the corridor. Once they were alone, the pair were able to get a moment together. “Alright, sure,” He mumbled, making sure no one was looking. “But make sure you don’t come with steak stuck in your teeth. I won’t kiss you otherwise.” He teased with a laugh.

[siriiusblaack]

marlcnemckinnon​:

Fingers let go of his arm and she didn’t care about anything he was going to say. She didn’t care if he’d be mad at her after, she didn’t care if this was dumb and maybe he’d change his mind about her in a few weeks time when he realized that she was a mess of a girl. What mattered to Marlene in that moment was just feeling more than fear towards the unknown which she now desperately wanted to be known. As her body molded against his as he pulled her in, the girls arms snacked around his neck as she made it her goal to keep his lips against hers for as long as she could. Her skin grew warm from his touch and the girl flet like she could float away any moment. The same feeling she’d gotten when she’d first kissed him in that locker room, the same feeling she’d craved. After what felt like an eternity, the girl was pulling back away from his lips but kept her face just inches from his, eyes looking into his with a twinkle of joy shining through. “I’m sorry,” she told him quietly, hand gently placed behind his neck, “for insulting you… and being mean. I hope you know I never mean it.” Leaning forward, she pressed a softer and more delicate kiss to his lips before pulling back, “I don’t know what else to say but… this kinda said it all, don’t you think?”

He hoped a teacher wouldn’t catch them doing this. Not because he didn’t want detention, but the thought of someone ruining their moment sure did bum him out an awful lot. But... there was a first time for everything and then he could say he’d beaten James in more reasons for getting ten points from Gryffindor taken away. That wasn’t important, though, what was important was how perfect it felt to be wrapped up in one another, hands finding comfort in one another and lips remaining locked. “Apology accepted.” He mumbled lightly in a joke, keeping himself close to her the entire time, quickly learning to love the way it felt to kiss her. How gentle her touch was, the warmth it brought him. It was just... nice. “I think I understand perfectly now -- you screaming and yelling is your way of telling me you like me. That’s okay! That’s okay. Let that rage out, Marls.” 

[siriiusblaack]

marlcnemckinnon​:

She shouldn’t have said that. She really shouldn’t have said that. They do say that love makes you do a lot of dumb shit but she didn’t think that this kind of thing was what it meant. Not that she was in love with him but the feelings were essentially the same. The girl only found herself frowning as she watched the way that his jaw went rigid but all the he offered her were those short few words that left Marlene without a leg to stand on. Why couldn’t she just be normal? Tell a boy how she felt and the proceed to want to go on a date like all her friends did. But Marlene had never been like any of her friends… she was, well, Marlene. And now she was watching him just go because of her actions and that small part of her that wanted nothing more than his attention was internally screaming against the part of her that was too scared to do something to get what she wanted. Who she wanted. But as weird as it was to admit it… Sirius Orion Black was her dream guy and had been since they were 15.

Scrambling off the window sill she sat on, the teenager was soon saying, “Sirius… Sirius, wait!” as she swiftly took a gentle hold of his arm and pulled him around. As he faced her, she put all her thoughts aside as they stood in the middle of that empty classroom, her ears ringing from everything going on in the battle versus her heart and her mind. But like said before, Marley was a creature of impulse. So, she did what only she could do best. Letting go of his arm, the girl only placed her hands gently on his face, pulling him down slightly before pressing her lips against him. It wasn’t gentle, it wasn’t soft. It was deep and passionate as Marlene only wanted to convey everything she felt into one solid action; she wanted him. Only him. And maybe she was driving him crazy with this back and forth so this had to be enough to alleviate that and not find herself getting rejected.

Heading towards the door with a disappointed glare on his face, he hoped to find some of his friends to cheer him up. If that was even possible. Reaching for the handle, Sirius was about to step outside when Marlene held him back, making him let out an irritated sigh, “What now, McKinnon?” He frowned, “I don’t wanna hear you insult me anymore so ju--” Well, that conversation was cut off rather short rather quickly and rather suddenly by a random surprise. Eyes widening for a moment as Sirius froze at the feeling of her lips against his, the mere shock keeping him in one position for a moment but eventually, he relaxed, his body easing and his eyes shutting, mirroring her movements of passion by pulling her closer against him. This was a turn of events.

[siriiusblaack]

marlcnemckinnon​:

Initially, Marley didn’t say a single thing to what he said to her. All she did was look at him as she bit on her bottom lip and thought about her own words as they circled through her mind. Things with Sirius had always felt… systematic. It had always felt like they would simply bicker back and forth and nothing else would come of it despite the fact that she’d be interested in him since she was fifteen fucking years old. Fast forward three years and she easily could say she’d smashed herself face first with just how much she thought about him when she was alone. Yet there she was, acting like a completely different person to who she was normally because of him. “Is it?” She responded quietly, head tilting to one side slowly as her hair slowly fell with it, “I’m surprised you’re not making fun of me for it. But… that’s still nice to know.” Pausing, Marlene felt her heart skip at his words but she didn’t know how to take the information. It was something she desperately (and subconsciously) had wanted to hear for so long and now that it was there… what was she supposed to do? The only thing she knew how; fight with him. “Shut the fuck up, no you don’t.” Why was she like this? Why couldn’t she just accept it? 

Apparently, this pair would never have a peaceful discussion. First, telling him she hated the kiss now this? He was getting fed up of this constant back and forth. To be told that she liked him and then immediately backtrack was... confusing. Shut the fuck up, no you don’t. Sirius felt his jaw turn slightly rigid in annoyance as the girl told him he was wrong, swore and got mad with him like she always did. It was beginning to tire the teenage boy out at this point, wanting to get to know her more, her also wanting the same, then suddenly pushing him away again. Shaking his head irritably, the eighteen-year-old stepped away and let out an annoyed snap, “One day you’ll learn not to get so angry with me, McKinnon. Smiling suits you more.” Without another comment, he began to make his way towards the door with the full intent of leaving.

[siriiusblaack]

marlcnemckinnon​:

Marlene McKinnon had never been the kind of girl that looked at boys and thought ‘oh! I would date him’. For some reason, her mind actually never went towards the subject of dating in general. Her first kiss had really only led her to kissing more people because she’d enjoyed it and ultimately came hooking up with people for the thrill and gratification. Nothing meant anything. Yet somehow over the years at Hogwarts and interactions with Sirius Black, her mind has gravitated more and more towards wanting something genuine. Something real. And that thought terrified her. Marlene didn’t know the first thing about dating or relationships let alone how to even express to someone she was interested in them. So, in his case, she stuck to yelling at him and just letting that be their normal. Up until now. Sitting in silence, was soon shifting herself into a position where she was facing his direction yet her eyes remained trained on her slow swinging legs. When he spoke and asked her that question, she felt herself freeze in place because she didn’t know what to say. How to say it. And before she knew it, he’d gotten up and was standing close to where she was sat so she had no other option but to lift her head to look up at him. “I’m not answering’ that question ‘cause I’m not gonna put myself into a spot where you don’t feel the same and whatever it is that I feel will mean fuck all,” she told him softly before continuing, “But hypothetically… I may or may not.”

Waiting, patiently or not, Sirius was growing more and more amused as the usually confident teenage girl fell rather soft and quiet as opposed to her usual demeanour. It was... quite nice to watch, he couldn’t deny that at all. “I believe that was an answer, Marley.” He said, nudging her gently with his elbow. To be told she liked him was a rather shocking point for the young wizard to hear, for a moment he paused with widened eyebrows, figuring out how to respond without coming across as an idiot. But this was Sirius Black, he would always be an idiot until the day he died. “You know... seeing you like this is... nice. For you to not yell at me, I mean,” He teased softly, brushing more of his hair aside with his hand. “A refreshing change, you could say. Hypothetically... I may or may not like you too. Does that make you feel any better?”

[siriiusblaack]

marlcnemckinnon​:

Her eyes remained focused on the castle grounds watching the way the wind blew through the trees in the forest, little first years running around by the lake in the distance trying to tempt the squid, owls flying about. “I only hate it ‘cause it was with you and you’ve always been different to everyone else,” she told him after a moment of silence which in retrospect, made it sound horrible and as if she was mad about the kiss but that was far from the kiss. She would have wanted nothing more than to walk across that classroom and kiss him again but… Marlene was a creature of impulse and sometimes, the impulse didn’t work in her favor. Swinging her leg slowly, the girls finger tapped at the glass of the window as she bit her bottom lip. “Why else do you think I didn’t want people to know? I don’t care what people say about me because it’s what I’ve built for myself but I don’t want people to… I don’t know… associate you with me as if you’re just like every other guy who comes near me. Those just looking for a shag when I don’t want to shag you,” Marlene paused, voice dropping to a soft whisper as she continued, “I want to… like… one day maybe kiss you again or something. To just enjoy something.”

Ouch, that hurt a little bit, didn’t it? Sirius frowned at her words, beginning to play with his tie in annoyance since it wasn’t exactly nice to hear ‘I only hate it ‘cause it was with you’. What did a guy have to do? “Thanks.” He grumbled, keeping his head on the table as his positive views towards that day were beginning to fade almost. Picking at a bit of wood on the desk, he kept himself facing the wall until her last few words made him hesitate a little, slowly looking up at her. She... wanted to kiss him again? She didn’t want people associating him with the other boys in her life? Now he really was confused. Sitting upright, he tilted his head slightly, almost like a dog -- did Marlene McKinnon... like Sirius? Wow, this was a plot twist. The frown faded and become replaced by a grin, small and a little amused. “Is this you admitting you actually... like me, McKinnon?” He asked, pushing himself to his feet and making his way over to her so they were closer, flicking his perfect aside.

[siriiusblaack]

marlcnemckinnon​:

“That’s besides the point! I tell Lily everything and you don’t see me openin’ my mouth to tell her I kissed you,” she quickly snapped back even though there was something in it that just made the whole thing feel worse. Maybe she was overreacting but a girl was allowed to have one thing for herself. Technically, he wasn’t hers but that moment was. Moving herself, the girls walked over to stand by one of the windows, back leaning against the wall as she listened to his words, “Because! It’s one thing to talk about hooking up with some random imbecile in a cupboard who I literally don’t care about in the slightest opposed to someone who - as much as I hate to admit - means something to me. Something solidified when we kissed. I don’t give two fucks who sees me naked, Sirius Black. But I do give a fuck when I do something and want to cherish it for myself.” Rolling her eyes, she pushed herself up and sat on the window sill, head turning to look out of the window as eyes focused on the grounds, “How the fuck was I supposed to know you’d want to tell people it happened?”

Moving off the desk, he sat himself down on the seat behind it instead and rested his arms on the surface, garnering a rather gloomy look the more and more she talked about not wanting people to know. Sirius had... really enjoyed that kiss, more than he thought he would, and he really liked her, maybe he was just a little excited to talk about it with someone, that was all. Resting his head on the table, he had a rather grumpy frown on his face as he mumbled, “... Alright... I’m sorry for telling someone about it, I didn’t realise you’d hate for people to know.” The fact hurt him a little, almost, thinking about how appalled she seemed at the thought of others knowing. But then he replayed her words in his mind. “... I... mean something to you?”