siouxfallsdriver

[siouxfallsdriver]

[siouxfallsdriver]

I won’t be joining you….

I’m emotionally unavailable. I’ve spent my whole life avoiding unnecessary human entanglements. When a stranger asks me about my personal life I change the subject, and if that stranger keeps insisting to know about my personal life I make something up, sometimes to the point of ridiculousness for my own amusement. If someone says they know me intimately they’re probably a bullshitter, or a wanna-be gatekeeper. The good news is you’re not missing anything; since I’ve spent my whole life reading books, and researching things I’ll rarely end up doing. I wish you well in finding your next adventure, as whatever that adventure ends up being, will definitely be more exciting than anything I’m doing. Good Luck

[siouxfallsdriver]

This Life….

I’m 6ft6in / 198cm tall, 380lbs, FAT, no tattoos, and no piercings. I don’t have kids, I don’t want kids, I definitely don’t want to be a step-dad, and I’ve had a Vasectomy. I’m debt-free, drug-free, and disease-free. I have no criminal record, I don’t smoke, and rarely drink. I spend most of my money on restaurants, and traveling. I live 70 miles east (inland) of Los Angeles, in San Bernardino, and own a barren, empty, 880sqft, upstairs, apartment flat, with no furniture, and a mattress on the floor.

I’m quiet, dyslexic, Pisces, INFP, left-handed, an auditory learner, and an only child. I love museums, tombstones of forgotten heroes, nonfiction audiobooks, podcasts, and SiriusXM. I loathe dogs watching me eat, gravel trucks, political parties, meaningless banter, negativity, hype, and people who project their biases onto me because I have a dumb, grumpy look.

I was 200lbs lighter, and used to spend 3 hours a day doing cardio 7 days a week so I’d be awesome in bed. I’ll have to find another motivation for utilizing my multiple gym memberships; because everyone thinks they’re smart, a good driver, or good in bed. While a good meal has been more rewarding than being thin, I intend on having a 2nd act.

I’ve finished at least 5 nonfiction audiobooks every week for the last 20 years; and in that time I’ve given up on twice as many that didn’t interest me. As I drive for work, commute to work, and commute to school; nonfiction audiobooks are my world away from the traffic, the road rage, and the judgment of those hurried west-siders who probably cringe at the thought of being me.

I love driving because I’m free to spend my time thinking about the things I choose. I could make more money but having a reason to rush home would be preferable. I want to be more than just a steady paycheck, or a sturdy sperm donor to some bored, suburban, working-woman that’s looking for a man to make her laugh. I’d like to think that I haven’t given up on finding a wife, but my 5XLT shirts from KingSize foretell something else.

Before Covid I traveled to more countries than I can remember. I liked researching cheap international flights, and possible itineraries when I was stuck someplace dull. Since my parents are deceased, a goal of mine is to acquire transferable skills so I can live anywhere in the world someday; hopefully before I become a faded copy of the man I am today.

I’m a very hard sell. It seems that money has never gotten me anything more than liberty; and only my own ignorance to that, has ever taken away from life’s freedoms. I value experiencing, and learning new things over possessions, and status. Notwithstanding, I still strongly believe in personal property rights, and the 2nd amendment.

Conversely, as I begin to look back with a broadening vantage onto the meandering path that brought me here. I can clearly see now that at no time did I ever choose; the internal motivations or people, that gave my life the most meaning.

Being born, and living my entire life in the Los Angeles area; has unjustly led me to believe sometimes, that most people don’t know how to be happy with themselves without trashing others; and that the nuclear family was a romanticized notion that never actually existed; supposing I know these things not to be true.

I’ve learned the hard way that thinking the universe was meaningless, and completely random; only led to more of the same wasteful behaviors in my own life. I’m not at all religious; however, I would rather spend the rest of my life alone; than bring one more child into this world that does not grow up in an intact loving home, with a strong connection to god.

While my gifts, choices, and experiences have set me apart, and kept me estranged from others; I’m still hopeful because I’ve learned the most from the people I thought I’d least want to meet. Therefore I try not to believe everything I think.

When I wander from what I know, I feel as though this journey is my own, and in that moment I feel anything but alone. When I think about all the things I love about life, I feel indescribably loved. I’m grateful for the time you’ve given me. I share this awkward writing of a simple life with you in the hope that its beauty is mutually appreciated, for my truths might be the only thing I’ll ever have to offer you. Take care….