sinsdumbdrabble

[sinsdumbdrabble]

Y'all thank you for your responses! So here is: Large and in charge reader, who's only nice to their on true love: OSAMU DAZAI!

(And yes, as you can see, I voted on my own poll. And yes, I voted for Tanizaki. I'm a simp for him broooooo)

Also, bruv, I dunno why but I got so carried away and this got really angsty. Like... I never do angst. NEVER. Yet here we are. I wonder if I'm okay. Well whatever.

Contents: Dazai getting drunk with reader.

Warnings: No smut, kinda angst, I totally digressed from the original plot line I had planned, and now I want nothing more than to give Osamu Dazai a big fat hug.

Dazai had found himself a new hobby: watching people's reactions as you talked to him.

I mean, most would think, really, how interesting can THAT be? But being the sort of person you were, all mean and menacing at one look but really soft and gentle on the inside, it was rare for you to really hold a conversation without coming off as intimidating. So when people saw you smiling softly at Dazai's jokes, and watching him fondly as he chatted away, they were generally more than surprised.

Dazai remembered distinctly the day you'd met. Fukuzawa had found you fighting solo against three of the Port Mafia's best ability-users, and known with one glance that you were stronger than even you knew. It hadn't taken him long to convince you to join the Armed Detective Agency; with painfully dead parents and a burned down house, you didn't really have anywhere else to go.

You passed their little entrance test, even though after they revealed that it was just an entrance test you couldn't help but be slightly annoyed. All that hard work to try and save that girl only for the whole scenario to be fake. Should've just ignored it.

It had been two years since then. And even though you wouldn't really say it out loud, you were happy that Fukuzawa had taken you under his wing.

How else would you have met Dazai? Or any of the others, who you did secretly like, even though you were unsure about expressing it.

One day, Fukuzawa sent you and Dazai to investigate a letter that the detective agency had received. The sender threatened to blow up the Gundam Factory in Yokohama, which was a popular entertainment place for tourists. Fukuzawa did contact the owner, but since the area covered by the Factory was quite large, and the number of people who were already there was also ginormous, the owner asked for them to investigate the culprit before the bombs could go off.

It was an easy job, and you two had it finished before 3 in the afternoon. All that was left now was some measly paperwork, which you would have to take care of alone because Dazai despised that part of work with a burning passion.

And so Dazai decided to fool around a little.

He took you to a bar, somewhere in a deserted alley in the middle of nowhere, walking with his hands on the back of his head and making nasty comments about everything he could lay his eyes on. You followed silently.

"Say," He yanked open the door of Lupin. "What about you, though? Where do you generally spend after-mission free time?"

Dazai led you into the bar, plopping down on a barstool in front of the counter.

"I sleep," You said, sitting down next to him.

"Huh?" He made a weird face. "That's it?"

A bartender appeared behind the counter.

"Mn," You nodded, looking at the bartender.

Dazai ordered 'his usual', and you decided to have the same as him. It wasn't bad, frankly, sitting there next to him on adjacent barstools and hearing him ramble on about everything and somehow nothing at the same time. He drank and drank and drank and drank, till he was telling you about Ango, about Odasaku and the days they spent together. He drank till his pale cheeks were flushed red, till his neck didn't have the strength to hold his head anymore, till his head was pressed into your chest and his shoulders were shaking with silent sobs.

You stroked the back of Dazai's head. Sober, he was a goof, running around pretending that everything was jokes and comedy. Drunk, he was much more grim, face set firm even as more tears splashed down it, eyes miserable in a way that made your heart ache.

"What's making you sad?" You asked him, desperate to take away at least some part of his sorrow.

But he didn't answer, shaking his head and clenching the fabric of your shirt so desperately it felt like he was hanging on for dear life.

You let him, wrapping your arms around him slowly, pulling him closer. You couldn't do anything but that, and the mere thought of it made you feel like the most useless being on the planet.

You paid for the drinks and heaved Dazai up on your shoulder, letting him stain a different part of your coat with tears as you walked away from the bar.

You took him to the agency dormitory, but once you were in front of his door you couldn't go any further.

"Dazai," You said, your voice gentle as you slowly put him down, and he wobbled on his feet. "Do you have your keys?"

The man couldn't even stand, and had to lean against the door for balance to look up at you. "Hmm..."

He began fumbling through his coat, hands slowly and thick with the weight of the alcohol in his veins. Finally, he produced a key, holding it up and pressing it into your chest. His tears had finally stopped.

You wiped the remnants off his cheek with your thumb. "Let me open the door, hmm?"

Dazai moved to lean against you instead of the door, and you placed an arm around his waist to support him as your free hand opened the door. You led him into the room, sitting him down on the floor near the doorway so you could take off his shoes. When you looked up, however, he had laid back on the floor, glossy eyes staring up at the ceiling.

"Say, [Name]," His voice was thick, his words were slurred. "Some people believe that right and wrong are relative... That there's no black and white... D'you think that's true?"

You looked at him. He was regretful, you could tell. But the fact that you couldn't help him, that you couldn't snatch all that pain away from him and swallow it was enough to make you bodily ache.

"I don't think I have a definite answer for that," You said, wishing you had, wishing you knew how to comfort him. "Why do you ask?"

Dazai's hands rose, clutching at the lapel of your jacket and pulling you closer to his face, making you hover over him on the floor. "D'you think... In a world like ours... We can ever do 'the right thing'?"

You shifted your weight to one hand, raising the other to caress his cheeks softly. "If you try hard enough, yeah. Even if no one's a hundred percent good, ever, if you try hard enough... I think that's all that matters."

"And..." Dazai's brow furrowed, and he looked adorably confused. "How hard is hard enough?"

You couldn't help but think of how, in any other situation, Dazai would've made a sexual pun out of those words.

"Hmm..." You thought of it, wanting to give him an answer that would satiate him. "Your best."

It was a simple answer, and yet Dazai's eyes widened, as if you'd solved the biggest mystery of the universe. "Just that?"

You nodded. "Just that. That's more than enough, Dazai."

And he nodded back, wrapping his heavy arms around your shoulders and pulling you closer, burying his head in your chest again. He fell asleep like that, holding you like a child.

You took him into the room later, taking off his coat and sweater and untucking his shirt before placing him on the futon and covering him with the quilt.

The next day when you saw him at the agency, he was back to his clownery, but something about the way he looked at you had changed.

[sinsdumbdrabble]

That should be MEEEEEE

Comfort Food

Fluffy Daisuga one-shot in which Daichi is sick and Suga just wants him to go rest. And also a sandwich is made.

On AO3 >

--

“Out, out, out!” Koushi commands. He stands by the kitchen island, chest puffed up and face stern as he points an indignant finger behind him, towards the living room, “Out of the kitchen this instant, or so help me…”

“Kou, I can do it myself. I’m not…” Daichi begins a valiant attempt to wave his husband off, but stops short when Koushi raises his eyebrows in disbelief. It’s clearly an invitation to keep talking, the look on his face says he’s waiting, that he’d like Daichi to continue and do all the work of digging the hole for him. Shoulders slumped, Daichi sighs in defeat… and that sigh turns into a cough that rattles his chest and has him leaning on the countertop for support. 

“You are ,” Koushi says as he moves swiftly to Daichi’s side. He places his palm in between his shoulder blades, moving it firmly up and down until the coughing fit subsides. “Dai, come on, you need to go back to the couch. I’ll finish your…” His eyes flit to the ingredients laid out before them and his brows press together. “What… what were you trying to make?” 

Daichi sees the confusion on Koushi’s face and follows his gaze to the pile of things he’d dragged out. Leftover spaghetti, a tomato, cheese, half an onion, a stick of butter, a head of lettuce, cilantro, carrots, celery, a bag of potato chips, an orange…

“A… sandwich?” Daichi answers, reluctant to explain but knowing he’ll have to. 

“Babe, we have got to get you to the doctor,” Koushi says. One hand is still on Daichi’s back, and it makes a gentle circle as Koushi places the other on Daichi’s forehead. “You’re messing up food . Your fever must have spiked… Are you hallucinating?” 

Daichi laughs, and it’s a rough, grinding sound for all the gunk in his chest and the fire in his throat. He meets his husband’s wide-eyed stare - the shock plain on his face - as Daichi takes the hand that had been pressed against his forehead into his own.

“No,” He says, “Worse.” 

The look Koushi gives him, how he’s so completely flummoxed, the way his mouth hangs open, and the way it was so obvious that his brain was working to make all the dots connect, makes Daichi chuckle again. He’s always handsome, but sometimes he can be so damn cute it hurts.   

“I’ve reverted. You’re looking at how I ate in college,” he explains in a tone that is as serious and solemn as he can make it, “It’s a dark past, I didn’t want you to see this. I must be sick.”

“You don’t say?” Koushi responds, and his tone is somehow both sarcastic and flabbergasted. He turns again to the food on the counter. “This is… a sandwich? Really?” 

“Not yet,” Daichi answers, “It will be. Or was going to be. It’s like… a patty melt, but with spaghetti. Kind of… greasy comfort food.”

Koushi’s mind again goes to work, assembling a sandwich in his head based on the facts at hand, and finally looks up.

“Ok, I get all this,” he says, gesturing to the spaghetti, lettuce, tomato, cheese, and butter, “But celery and carrots?”

“Gotta have some kind of vegetable on the side,” Daichi explains, “That’s how you know it’s healthy.”

Koushi wrinkles his nose at Daichi and shakes his head. “Keep telling yourself that… but ok… I guess the chips are a side, too…”

“Nope, they go on it… for the crunch. It’s a texture thing.” 

“Uh huh,” Koushi says, dubious, and just looks at him for a moment before rolling his eyes and continuing down the list. “The cilantro?”

“That was actually a mistake. I thought it was parsley… but I wouldn’t be above trying it.”

 “Acceptable answer… and… the orange?”

Daichi shrugs. “I just like oranges.” 

“Thank god,” Koushi breathes out in relief, “I was scared you used the juice for, like a sauce or something.”

Daichi hums thoughtfully, “Well now that you mention it…”

“Gross,” Koushi says, “I love you and you’re gross and I want you out of my sight.” 

“That’s mean,” Daichi says, hand to his heart in mock pain, “You should be nicer to me… don’t you know I’m siiiiiick.” He stretches the word out, trying to be cute, but the way his shredded voice delivers the line is more like a sputtering lawnmower. 

“Yes, I do! And big, sick babies belong on the couch so their doting husbands can take care of them and not serve them garbage food for lunch,” Koushi argues, giving Daichi a shove in the direction of their living room, “Now go, you’re banished from the kitchen.” 

Daichi moves to leave before Koushi stops him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Seriously, chill and let me take care of you for once? Please?” He says in a lower, sweeter tone that makes Daichi’s heart lurch forward and brings a dumb, stupid smile to his face. He nods, wishing he weren’t sick so he could collect this man in his arms and kiss him until neither of them could breathe. 

But he’s having trouble enough breathing as it is. The journey from the kitchen to the couch is long and arduous, and he’s woozy by the time he finally sinks into the nest Koushi made him as soon as his temperature hit 38. 

The sounds of Koushi banging around in the kitchen fill the air, and Daichi takes a moment to look around him. He’s bundled up in soft blankets and supported by part of their not-insignificant collection of pillows. He has water, medicine, tissues, and cough drops at his fingertips. There are books beside him, some are a few volumes of a manga Koushi desperately wants him to read and some are books of puzzles to occupy time. There are empty mugs that had held tea to soothe his throat and help him sleep. Koushi had even let him borrow that damn stuffed bear he slept with when Daichi was away so he’d have something to brace himself when the coughing fits were too bad. 

In short, he is surrounded by all the trappings of his husband’s love for him. If he’d ever doubted that he was loved… here is all the evidence he needed to prove it. Daichi is so full now that his chest hurts for a reason other than the congestion it contained. It’s overwhelming. He feels like crying out of happiness, but instead he just holds on to Koushi’s bear more tightly and closes his eyes. 

He dozes a bit, coming back to reality when Koushi gently touches his shoulder. There’s a plate in his hand and a look in his eye that’s hard to read. He seems… hesitant? But there’s also the look of expectation and maybe even a hair of smarmy pleasure on his face. 

“After this monstrosity,” he says, using his free hand to replace his bear with an older pillow, “I hope you never doubt my love for you for even a single second.” With that, he lowers the plate onto the pillow and stands in triumph over them. 

Daichi looks at the plate in shock. He’d made the damn sandwich. All that earlier - Koushi wasn’t really poking fun at him… he was making sure he understood what Daichi was planning for each ingredient, so he could replicate it for him. That too-tight feeling from earlier returns, and maybe it’s because he’s so sick that he can’t regulate his emotions, or maybe this is just who he is, but he does cry, just a little, over his sandwich. 

“Hey,” Koushi soothes, and slots in next to him on the couch, one hand stroking the short hair at the back of his neck. “What’s this about? Did I do it wrong?” 

“No,” Daichi answers, sniffling and rubbing at his eyes, “I don’t feel good, and I’m tired, and everything hurts, and I just. Love you so much.” He knows he’s being pathetic, but that’s ok, because he can be pathetic in front of Koushi. 

“Awww,” Koushi says and his hand trails down to Daichi’s shoulder so his arm is wrapped around him in the best semblance of a hug he can create, “I know, Dai. I love you, too. I hate that you feel so shitty… maybe eating will help?” 

Daichi nods, knowing that Koushi is right. He needs calories to fight this infection or flu or whatever it is, so he picks up the spaghetti melt that his husband made him and takes a bite. 

“And? Is it every bit of greasy garbage comfort food deliciousness that you dreamed of?” Koushi asks, grinning. 

“And more,” Daichi says around the bite in his mouth. He swallows, grimacing. Toasted bread and chips didn’t go down well with a sore throat, but it was what he wanted and that’s what water was for, anyway. “It’s perfect. The cilantro is a nice touch.”

[sinsdumbdrabble]

Do they see you through a window in the air, or as a presence blended into the air around them?

i can’t pick what i enjoy more.

in-game, when the characters are aware of your presence. of you currently playing as them.

i am conflicted with either:

a) they can see you through the screen, as you see them through yours. the rectangular window floating in the air, being the only opportunity of having the honor of seeing your face. they could see your excitement when spotting a chest nearby, but also the immediate dread of realizing it’s being guarded by your least favourite enemy. they could see your frustration of trying to figure out a puzzle. the sadness in your eyes during heartbreaking quests.

but only if the camera was looking right at them.

i would imagine the window in their world would constantly change its position in the air. as you adjust the camera angle to see into their world on your end. when you zoom in, the window is closer to them. when you zoom out, it is farther. if you are looking directly at their face, they can look directly back.

when the camera is not in front of their face, in order to fully face you to properly take you in (i like to believe their own conscious actions are limited as you control them), they would have to go against their code. which they cannot do, not until you stop controlling them. which is only when you are offline. how could they see your pretty face then?

they itch to be able to.

so if you were to ever fall asleep, forgetting to close genshin? the character you selected to play as, their back turned with how you positioned the camera angle. their head turns to face you, since you have been afk for some time.

but when they realize you’re asleep, they never take their eyes off of your sleeping face.

OR

b) they can’t see you, they can only feel your presence. coming and going when you log in and out of the game.

you are blended in the air, mixed into the waters. you are all around them, yet nowhere to be seen.

but they always know you’re there. because of how your warm presence soothes their soul. how they lose all control of their body as you progress through teyvat as them. it was a blessing to be guided by you.

and they know when you aren’t there. they don’t need to see you to know when you are getting ready to leave. they know.

what it looks like on your side, you use the menu to exit the game. simple. no big deal.

but on their side? it is a feeling. a gradual dread. an emptiness haunting them as you start to leave the game.

it is not immediate, nor does it take long to subside. but they feel like they are ripped from your comforting embrace. abandoned to wallow and sulk in the loss of your light within them.

even as it has subsided, the remaining emotions of losing your presence again makes their heart ache. longing for your swift return.

in either of these scenarios, they can sense when you leave. i feel like it is just a lot more stronger in the second. because the feeling of you is all they have.

their other commonality is how they are driven more mad. more desperate for you to stay each time you abandon them. when all they want is for the light that is your gaze to warm their skin, and allow them the ability to smile again.

considering how much it hurts them, why do you leave?

[sinsdumbdrabble]

Just because I think you'll like it

Venti from genshin impact if you haven't already he's my little guy

Today, Jesus is holding:

Venti from Genshin Impact

[sinsdumbdrabble]

You will not use AI to get ideas for your story. You will lie on the floor and have wretched visions like god intended

[sinsdumbdrabble]

OOPS

I do have some things I'm working on though, I'm going to try to get part one of my new series up soon!

Hey just wanted to say to anybody hanging around here that I will have more content to post soon! I just finally started getting my shit together very quickly recently so everything in my life has taken a back burner so I can start y'know having a life to begin with.

Hopefully I'll have something up in two weeks, I just have a jam packed two weeks coming up and I'm someone who needs a lot of time to decompress. Maybe I'll get some drafts going in the meantime but definitely nothing until June. Guess that's one way I'll be celebrating pride month lol

[sinsdumbdrabble]

Hey just wanted to say to anybody hanging around here that I will have more content to post soon! I just finally started getting my shit together very quickly recently so everything in my life has taken a back burner so I can start y'know having a life to begin with.

Hopefully I'll have something up in two weeks, I just have a jam packed two weeks coming up and I'm someone who needs a lot of time to decompress. Maybe I'll get some drafts going in the meantime but definitely nothing until June. Guess that's one way I'll be celebrating pride month lol

[sinsdumbdrabble]

Funny little cynical idea

What if the world ended in 2020 like we all were saying it did?

2020, the year of genshin launch.

Hmm I sense some sagau isekai going on here.

"The creator has returned! What kept you for so long, your grace? Why return now?"

"Well the world ended and everything I've ever known is gone, how about you guys?"

They went silent for a while after that. Maybe they learned not to ask you personal questions. You'd at least hope so.

[sinsdumbdrabble]

Adding to this post from my old account because I have so many more ideas to share!

Obviously the skincare products come from Dehya, we already know that's her jam and she'd probably pick out all the newest trendy makeup for you if you want any too. Hell, she'd probably LOVE to hang out and do your makeup for you or for both of you to get ready together. I really think she'd enjoy that, the friends night out vibes are phenomenal.

As far as clothes go, we have Chiori now so that's pretty easily spoken for. She does extravagant custom orders all the time, even for celebrities, so the creator themselves is just the natural next step for her to pursue and take pride in.

Before Chiori that choice went to Ningguang but now that she's free I totally see something better (not that she doesn't buy you amazing clothes every now and then because she totally does whenever she wants to)

Ningguang absolutely showers you with jewelry and accessories, as do most of your worshippers, but hers just excel every time. Yeah Ayaka can give you beautiful hair pins and Zhongli hand crafts stunning gems to be inlaid on any piece you like. But Ningguang? You can go to lunch with her and when she sees your outfit she pulls out three different sets that match it perfectly. Scratch that. They don't just match, they elevate it. She has everything you could ever want. On. Hand. This woman is nothing if not constantly over prepared and she will make the most of it on every occasion she can see you. She wants to know she's going to be on your mind for a long time after you leave.

Fuck it I write sagau now

The creator appointing important characters they remember from the story to do things pretty randomly.

Kaveh? A bath attendant. Now hear me out! You're having some relaxing time and what goes well with relaxing? Ranting about everything that has EVER pissed you off. And Kaveh is the king of understanding that feeling. Had a bad day? Maybe he'll do your hair for you afterwards too. Hang out with him while he glows from excitement at being blessed with sharing so many personal moments with you. He does your skincare routine, he's always finding new scented soaps for you to try out at stalls around sumeru city, and he's SO there for the gossip don't even try to argue on that. The two of you have a blast just having girls night all the time. If there's anyone you can rely on to call out the bullshit when you've had a bad day, it's Kaveh.

[sinsdumbdrabble]

The texts that were actually exchanged after the Glorious Masquerade event

Yuu: I'm bringing home a wild raccoon and I need your help

Vil: You have the wrong number

Yuu: no vil please

Yuu: I need you to convince this man to get a haircut

Vil: Why didn't you lead with that?

Yuu: Because I needed you to know that he already hates you and he probably has rabies

Vil: .... Who is this man?

Yuu: A project

Vil: Have you learned nothing from Rook

Yuu: No I know he's worse

Vil: Well that's not saying much

Yuu: He's worse than Rook

*5 minutes later*

Yuu: VIL????

Vil: what have you done

[sinsdumbdrabble]

Obsessed with honest Yuu. Yuu that shares information about their home so much and says such messed up things that everyone assumes they're making it all up.

Its me, I need someone to tell the twisted wonderland crew about how messed up our world is. Bonus points if they do it with a completely straight face or a nervous smile they seem to often have.