sins-silos

[sins-silos]

6.7.23

My demons are speaking to me

telling me to bust him down - not before I get the filthiest head.

I want deep strokes, apology kisses.

cum in me, worship

I want perfect synergy + synastry.

Fun, sweet, slow, apologetic and nasty.

I want round 2s and anal.

I wanna see him work for it - its killing me to hold out.

I wont keep giving.

I'm tired of fighting

I wont drop this war

but holy fuck hold me close...

Kiss my neck and break my spine.

its killing me to stand on business with you.

[sins-silos]

my heart calls for you in every shade, environment

i dont think the trees would bloom without you

to you, im grey

My hands are knives

my minds consistent complexities cannot create this way

I am roots and home

the moon + nucleus

whats the use of this gloom?

I still yearn for you

You have a way of inviting and enticing me

We are simply existing and my body is in waves

Please, touch me.

You make me feel aliveee, and no - I dont want you to be mine. I want the vibe. We coexist peacefully. You’re a light. We understand each other.

I laid on the floor and rode you like I been craving.

I miss your lips.

[sins-silos]

YELLOW LIGHT

You keep saying you want to see me

im 1 second from making a bad decisions

whats a couple days alone

In a (redacted location)

with a nice (redacted possession)

Ive been promised

sex from the gods, energy to die for.

Ive been promised romantic & disgusting escapades

new adventures we could slip into

Apart of me debates, the rebel says do it.

im surprised im intrigued.

Its just a few days..

toss away my moral code

burn contracted agreements

it all seems too good to be true.

it all seems too good to be true.

[sins-silos]

‎أفكار ثقيلة | heavy thoughts

disconnection finally happened

better to admit it than lie

talking to fill up space

my emotions are spilling over

I aint looking to be kept safe from these feelings

I want more.

I want to be softer

things are running their course

cause rough love doesn't suit me

find myself wishing they have all their experiences without me

I feel written off but that isn't the case

they're too miserable for me

until they get what they want

a repetitive habit

trying to revive the energy has left me frozen

speaking to myself with eyes wide open

recycling what's neglected and giving it light

lie my head

walls up

energy mine

you're not welcome

im leaving you while im still one piece.

[sins-silos]

lil shawtys interlude

All day, we were silent

I playfully stuck up my middle finger

childish - but im no longer making first moves

Telepathically talking

our eyes are calm

I wasnt looking for signals

stopped doing that with my flings

they aim to hypnotize sexually

I dont pride myself on lust, everyones replaceable

however

their aura was lusting, seductive

my skin itched for them to touch me

looking at one another, we both had flashbacks

my legs on their shoulders

them kissing my stomach

savoring my pussy, licking their lips

their hands in my mouth and a breathy

"no ma'am"

had to focus

they walked up too me

gave me those eyes and kissed me

confused but i'll take it.

i was super cavalier

stopped in my tracks + said "mmm, i hope you have a wonderful day"

pimping off, i started to think how an anxious woman does

should've, would've, could'ves

yet, i laughed and smiled

a kiss is a seal of desire

and now, we wait.

[sins-silos]

POLAROID

a picture is a two second keepsake

but polaroids?

asking for trouble.

I want a few of my own.

I want to be caught intimately

a flash here and there

My tits on display

I want him to ravish me...

[sins-silos]

pain, apathy

numbness, detachment.

My usual favorite cocktail for “growth”

I feel fooled and spooked.

My heart writhes constantly these days

I wont overreact, I wont scream

Ive been sitting and waiting to process.

Im trying to give myself time to feel, but my mind guards first and ask questions later.

How I’ve existed is dying.

Over giving lover turned blacksmith.

I make what I feel, instead of giving unconsciously.

The pain of feeling misunderstood while taking critique of how to better exist.

The apathy from knowing I’ve changed and how its *still* not enough

Numbness from the reminder that I cant change how anyone feels - and how much I dont want too.

Detachment due to understanding that only I will get me out of here.

Im bleeding out with a smile on my face :)

My masochist ways are the only way I remember that im human.

Its the only way that I remind myself that I cannot cultivate expectation from a soul here.

Its the only way that I remember that im alive.

[sins-silos]

lusting for her.

Im no better than these men

I’ve been blocking women the second I hear something ignorant

im not willing to open my heart for the wrong woman

the lot of them get things confused

Gassing my head up isnt gonna make me think you dont have a disease.

I wont risk anything.

I wont take any chances.

and

I will never depend on you to fulfill my needs

*bangs head on wall due to frustration/lust*

i would love the opportunity to devour her pussy

I miss my jaw aching and deep laughter

I miss teasing my woman till she cums i

I miss slippery fingers, sweet wetness

clit to clit

squirting on her face, riding her tongue

I miss long hair and deep, lusty moans

Her body convulsing, begging for me

Kissing her in places men would’ve missed

Giving her the holiest damnations and heaven…

*sighs*

I’ll find her soon.

[sins-silos]

GHOST WOMAN

She has me throbbing through my thong.

The sinful thoughts of her long hair wrapped round my fingers is the only proof my lust has truth.

Her breasts belong in my hands, in my mouth..

Her nipples deserve to be rolled, bruised and teased….

Her pussy….mmmmm

I can’t wait to taste how sweet.

I need her rubbing against me, her face flushing red when she cums on me..

I need her..dark goddess of lust + beauty

[sins-silos]

WLW

Ive been craving a womans touch

theres nothing these men can do for me

They dont feel the same.

This isnt some undiscovered lust or fake bisexual show

I want to devour her soul through my words and stroke

I thought i found someone but shes stuck in emotional tropes and I wonder why I gave her so much hope

I dont wanna keep chasing hoes

I want her.

Whoever she is….

[sins-silos]

Sweeeeet Creature | سوليز

Im in my ego today

But she disappears when you’re sweet

Can I return the heavenly favour

Because today, im unfavorable and you got everything you know I need to keep my peace

I thank you because I didnt ask

wars upon wars (seemingly) for weeks

you dropped the attitude to make me happy

all over the place due to my menses started draining me

I smiled when you pulled the pack out and you said

“thats what I thought” jokingly

It isnt about the weed or drinks

I needed to see this so I can release the hormonal festering

Im not in lack with you

and I love that you try

AND do for/with me.

What surpasses a hundred percent when you’re invested in someone like this?

Im claiming it now - this sweetness and effort will never disappear.

[sins-silos]

infatuation?

For you, im dishonest

my tongue holds no bounds

Infatuated + keeping distance.

lost in you due to our honesty.

you hate when I apologize and act unsure of myself.

you’ve more than intrigued me.

Ive been sitting on two sentences for 12 hours

The first line playing over and over in my mind

Attempting to overthink in writing you something perfect

thats what I love about you - you don’t require perfection

You arent seeking due to some wound

You…are exotic, elegant and exquisite.

Jesus…

Im drunk and poetic.

Spilling over lines and corrections

When the only right feeling is you next to me

I cant fathom the thought of existing without this

It isnt love and it isnt domination

I just know that you intrigue me...

I wanna get skin deep and naked

meaning - not just body but sharing secrets

Show you the real me - ill even throw the quirks in

Im innocent and scandalous

My mind is running, full of healthy attraction…

I manifested this…

I love smirking in my own darkness

[sins-silos]

25: Erotic Vulnerability

I used to think I only wanted a fucking freak, the pin me to the wall

eat me till I cry types

a person who prayed for me to be their sexual demise

Truly, the only thing I need is focused love, innate loyalty and clarity.

I'm tired of being the one they crave and always wanna leave until there's better options in front of me

though I know my worth isn't weighed in relationships and sensual benefits

Its annoying to only be someones temporary fix

So

I stopped being the “cool girl” and switched to “that bitch”

I understand that all ive ever given was pure.

There will never be another me and i’ll be their late night regret.

Im okay with that.

In the meantime, you may catch me in thighs highs, eyes wide cause what ive yet to explore is my personal playground.

Its been calling to me since ive turned 23.

Ive been hiding behind baggy clothes and letting my woes and old hoes take up the space.

Im out, im free and ready to play.

Fuck letting the games begin

Im eating pussy and getting my ass ate till i'm finished w this.

[sins-silos]

110

Im not going to say too much and jump into detail about the way I feel your breath on my neck when you speak.

I know you from somewhere

Not some soulmate/twin flame shit

only x’ing that out due to not physically being in your energy

This synergy is lustful, enticing

I know how I get

restrictions without borders

bored of existing innocently

you bring something out of me

No demon shit - just unholy

I've been a seeker and collector of unique, beautiful things.

I imagine your touch makes me cream naturally

cant pretend with you

too much of this, i’d never be through

dangerous territory is proof

the explicit thoughts ring true

I remain wet thinkin of you

[sins-silos]

THE CAPRICORN

H: “If you know whats good for you, why are your clothes still on?”

“wanted you to take em off me"

“Yeah?” *smirks*

I JUST WANT HIS KISS

(featuring hand necklaces)

No spit, squirting or arrogant foreplay.

I need to lay his body down in lingerie.

hearing him beg and deep bites on my neck.

I want him so eager he wont waste time.

Every part of his body is MINE.

I swallowed his dick till the cum made me (almost) vomit

ate me till I cried

My wails surprised me

cause I never asked for god

I was lusting

He tried to dominate and I fought a losing battle in the name of pride

And when his hands were around my neck

I blacked out from cumming viciously

my pussy was his slip and slide

(until he dare try to cum in me)

that day

the soft life left in waves.

[sins-silos]

Unknown Lover

I keep thinking about it.

A memory is nothing but a two second keepsake

Chemistry is a hell of a drug.

Mental polaroids of sweat and moans

squirting religiously until we both can’t take it

Displays of dominance

Him holding back because I wont allow him to claim me.

He is a phone call away when I need to disengage.

He knows his place and we continue to play.

I needed him the way Lucifer needed independence.

Like an atheist needing a cleansing…

Im on my knees laughing at him fucking my mouth.

I smell like his spit. I’m covered in sweat.

Muscles joyfully weak, lips in teeth

Bodies consumed by heat.

When can I have a repeat?

He kissed my body. We spit in eachothers mouth.

He tied my hands with my belt as I stared him down with intent.

Somewhere between intense head and falling off the bed

My thought was

“What a beautiful man”

He told me to claim my territory - then said “fuck, you belong to me.”

8 pack, 8 inches

I did what he said, now im sore.

I got what I needed, im out his door.

Two weeks pass with no messages or calls.

My body aches and throb for his hands in places they never belonged.

Two seconds later,

“Hey Mamas. Im at home. Get off work early and come see me. I’ll be showering when you arrive. Come in, doors unlocked.”

I’ve never been so excited to swallow a cock.

[sins-silos]

salacious reminders

One day, you will be woken up at 3/5am with someone with no other desire than to fuck you good, cum in you and lay you down.

They will search for you in their sleep, tracing every curve of your body. They will kiss your neck and suck your nipples.

They will lay behind you, playing with your pussy until you wake up aching.

One day…the little demons at your feet won’t need to make it obvious or send smoke signals.

They’ll do this because they love you.

They will taste, savour and deliver because of who you are.

They are coming soon.

Just be patient.