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no idea where i was going with this but i abandoned it at the most disconcerting moment possible

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im laughing i went to type heck yes and i typed “heck yeck”

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ive been doing a lot of youtube recipe binging lately so i was recommended this video and i was like fuck it diet soup why not

and it sounded pretty tasty so after the vid i scrolled down to see what people thought of it, and i just really need to share with you all what the comment section is like

and for the one that broke me:

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just to make things a little bit nicer around here, I'm adding some enrichment to your enclosure. I hope you like :)

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cast iron? yeah thats a pretty common spell to learn

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my mom, dead in the middle of a conversation, slams on the breaks in the middle of a country road so she can pull over and take a picture of all these cows running for cover from the rain and adsfkjlfkdjg and thi dskfjfgj

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i am very high right now and need to document this ✨revelation✨ so i can see if im correct later

so batman content real quick

hello yes the entirety of my batman knowledge comes from fanfiction and tiktok videos en masse so like bear with me for a minute

ra’s hates talia right like thats a thing and in a shallow sense its cause she wants his job and will go through him to get it

but deep diving that point if he is _fucking_ old and he gets that way cause he replaces his body, my idea of it is he gets his new bodies via family right? easy enough to get wife, have child, kill wife, be child, repeat. but this time when he has kids he doesnt have what he considers a viable option, now apparently he has a son this time round too but rejected him cause of albinism, so still not viable.

he somehow decides to use one of his children’s children instead. maybe cause hell have a bigger sample size or something idk. he in the mean time meets batman/bruce and goes well fuck this kids smart and can commit to a bit. i wanna have his dna in the genetic soup so he marries him of to talia. they separate ways but its ok cause here comes damian.

there are multiple ways damian is said to be created and all of them are ✨not great✨. but thats irrelevant rn. damian has arrived 🎉.

ra’s now has his “heir” in damian (damian? damien? ian right? idk) and talias pissed cause she thinks its actually the heir not the “heir” and she wants power. ra’s sees how ambitious talia is and thats why he hates her, not cause shes a girl or whatever bs, but cause he has no plans on over giving up control and shes a threat to that.

idk even know if i actually got to the point of my revelation but this was 40 minutes of concentration to get this out. between the fact that i dont have autocorrect on and that im potentially dyslexic this was laboured.

imma go have some crunchy almond butter by the spoonful as a reward 🫡

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Glass Onion did many, many things well. But a few of my favorites are:

Gave Helen the LITERAL POWER of the dumb white man's idea of a good idea to BLOW HIS SHIT UP.

Gave Whiskey a moment to deepen her character beyond "dumb men's right bimbo." Do I agree with the way she's doing things? No. Do I respect that she gets the chance to show she is aware of what she's doing? Yes.

Gave Benoit a live-in partner who straight people don't clock at all. Bitch. The butler is not calling Mister Blanc's famous friends to express worry over his bath time. That's the job of a husband (colloquial).

Benoit solving Gillian Flynn's mystery because it's CLEVER but needing help with the ACTUAL mystery because IT'S DUMB. And not because he's TOO SMART but because he's bad at DUMB PUZZLES.

Everyone only willing to throw Miles under the bus after Helen literally blew up any chance he had of saving their asses. Did they learn anything? Fuck no. It's a very clear lesson on understanding who to trust. As Helen puts it: "You'll lie for a lie, but you won't lie for the truth?" They're not lying for the truth at the end. They're lying for the lie that they're not very much like Miles.

I have seen some people noting the Mona Lisa burned like canvas, and I've seen some people noting the Mona Lisa burned like wood, and what's important to remember is that everything you need to know about Miles is that he's got the fucking audacity of the insulated fuckboy to think he's being clever having someone build an un-failesafe button so the Mona Lisa could be safe.

"It's so dumb, it's brilliant!" / "No, it's just dumb!"

"You'd lie for the lie, but you wouldn't lie for the truth?" -- Yeah, I mentioned it already, but my GOD. WHAT A POINT.

"Your name will forever be remembered in the same breath as the Mona Lisa." -- STAB HIM AGAIN.

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Check out my ongoing comic Crow Time. It has crows, and also neat pantheons of epic beasties.

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For someone who is tired 100% of the time, I sure am bad at sleeping.

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bungus