simplyhansel

[simplyhansel]

tonight i swore a blood oath to the minimum wage workers at my local subway

[simplyhansel]

If your'e ever scrolling through tiktok or youtube shorts and get those stories with the AI voices, one of the easiest ways to tell if its an actual reddit post or an AI generated story is to listen for the names the stories use.

The stories generated by AI will often use the same names in each of their stories. The one Im most familiar with is Chen; if a story has anyone with the last name Chen, especially someone who is a detective or a mentor figure, it's an AI story 99.9% of the time.

There are other names that I cant think of right now, but when I do ill reblog with a list.

[simplyhansel]

[simplyhansel]

people are clowning on this guy on reddit but uhhh let's pause for a minute and ask...so what happens if someone has a skin condition? what if part of their face has been burned? what if they're missing their eyes? and so what if they just have a fuckton of tattoos? recognition algorithms are aligned with the most ""average"" / ""normal"" features which means any deviation gets denied access to shit we didnt need age verification for 1 year ago. i dont care if it's a choice versus not, dont care if it's accessing porn or wikipedia, this needs to stop

[simplyhansel]

No one ever questioned why baby Saja draped himself over the Saja Boys like a lazy cat.

He'd walk up behind Abby while he was doing push-ups and lay on top of him, arms wrapping around Abby like a koala, eyes half-lidded. He'd lean on Mystery in the middle of the hallway, chin on his collarbone, looking like he might fall asleep standing up. He'd even hook his arm around Romance's neck during interviews, cheek squished into the expensive pink blazer.

It was normal. It was an everyday Baby thing to do.

But with you- It was different.

Whenever you were around, it was like his body was jello, had no bones left.

One minute you'd be scrolling through your tumblr fanfictions, the next you'd feel a cool weight press into your back, Baby's arms slipping around your waist from behind. His nose would tuck into the warm crook of your neck, and he'd breathe in like he was trying to memorize you.

"You're so warm," he'd mumble, voice muffle as he nuzzled deeper.

He never did this with the others.

He never buried his mouth against their skin, never pressed little kisses, it was only ever for you.

It was instinctive, like a baby creature finding comfort in a heartbeat.

Sometimes he'd nip lightly at your shoulder-not hard enough to hurt, just a curious little bit, liem he was testing if you were real.

"Stop chewing me," you would grumble, but your hands would come up automatically to stroke his soft teal hair.

When he gets extra tired-or extra hungry for a living warmth-he'd pull you limbs wound around you like vines. His cold cheek would rest on your chest, and he'd hum in content satisfaction, that sofy, raspy little demon noise that you had grown to love.

And if you tried to get up?

"Nooooooo," he'd groan drowsily, arms tightening like a vice. "Just five more minutes. You're…comfy."

It wasn't even sexual. It wasn't even really about affection in the way that humans understood it.

It was just that-you were alive. Warm. Soothing.

And somewhere inside the layers of demon, with you, he remembered what the small human part felt like.

[simplyhansel]

[simplyhansel]

I love you so much I hope we get reborn as housecats who sleep together like puzzle pieces

[simplyhansel]

The Mitchells vs. the Machines (2021) dir. Mike Rianda

[simplyhansel]

friend who lives hundreds of miles away: i made food

me: can i have some

[simplyhansel]

𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐆𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐌𝐞 𝐃𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐥

♡♡more coming next week♡♡

[simplyhansel]

somewhere out there right now is a kid with curly hair being raised by people who have wavy hair at best and those people are giving them 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner and telling them to dry brush it. and that kid is gonna spend all of middle school and high school hating their hair and moping over the flat iron. they're being told right now that if they don't dry-brush their curl pattern into oblivion every morning it means they're unkempt and gross even though they naturally have the kind of ringlets that a thousand bridezillas would commit horrible murders for every june. it's happening right now it's an absolute epidemic and a tragedy every time

[simplyhansel]

[simplyhansel]

every time i see those posts like ‘what food from a show did YOU always wanna try’ i go lol none? but i just remembered im a liar

i always wanted the fucking soup brock made in the pokemon anime

[simplyhansel]

Abby be makin' me go awooga frfr

Just watched the kpop demon hunter movie and.. AWOOOOOGA.

This movie. GRAH. It’s so good it’s not even funny. The characters?! The plot?! The writing?! The song!!?!?!?!

Also.. hear me out on Abby…!!!

[simplyhansel]

[simplyhansel]

How it’s done, done, done!

I REALLY LIKE ZOE AND HER SILLY CRUSH :(

[simplyhansel]

Guessing each of the Saja Boys’ deals with Gwi-Ma

I don’t know if this has been done yet but I just find them really hot fascinating okay?

Jinu

Okay, so this one we obviously already know- He abandoned his family to become a musician and live a luxurious life. This allows him to have an extraordinary singing voice, which is obviously his overall appeal as a boyband leader. Since this is directly stated this movie, it gives us a good guideline going forward with the rest of them; something that is still present in their current depreciation and overall serves to their benefit, even though they had to make a sacrifice to get it.

Since the rest of the band is extremely underportrayed this whole movie, I get to be a bit creative with my theories. Feel free to contribute your own ideas!

Abby/Abs

Obviously he is extremely muscular but I don’t think it’s a pure vanity thing. So I’m gonna say he wished for inhuman strength to defend himself during a time of violence and conflict. He wanted to feel less helpless and vulnerable in the midst of chaos, but this came at the price of him going mad with power and hurting innocent people, unable to tell a friend from an enemy. He still believes he’s a monster that can snap at any minute, relishing in some of the leverage that gives him (being a demon) but also fear that he may not have total control over himself.

Baby

The name seems pretty blatant- I think he wished for infinite youth and beauty. He was incredibly discomforted by the sight of those around him slowly aging. He constantly saw people becoming weaker and frailer, less capable of doing things themselves. Their skin sagged, their hair grayed, society seemed to find them more and more of an ugly nuisance. And it absolutely terrified him, so he asked to be spared from it. Unfortunately, he still had to watch the world around him changed while he stayed preserved, locked in time. The degradation and decay of humanity soon became more and more apparent, terrifying him further, wondering if he’ll ever be next. He constantly checks himself for any minor blemishes or shifts in his appearance, growing paranoid that he may not be as perfect as he’s desperate to be.

Romance

Another no-brainer, He wished a girl to fall in love and marry him. Aladdin-style, as in she was above his status and could never consider him as a husband until he placed himself in the same league as her and made himself seem irresistible. It was perfect at first, until her senseless infatuation with him began to ruin their relationship. She loved him but she didn’t really like him, she hardly knew him at all. She was mindlessly obsessed, and guilt began to eat away when he realized he had practically made her a slave to his affection. Woman still find him irresistible, but he can’t bring himself to love anyone back, knowing that he utterly ruined the one he held dearest.

Mystery

Admittedly, this was the hardest for me to think of, so it’s is a bit of a stretch.

He was once known for being a gentle and kind boy, but due to unfortunate circumstances, had gotten into a very aggressive and very public argument with a close friend, ending with him killing them in a blind fit of rage. This utterly ruined his reputation, so he wished to permanently hide away and never be recognized again. He was on the run for many years, continually growing his hair over his face and changing his name until he forgot who he was, only remembering what he did and the shame it caused him. He’s still quite reserved and withdrawn, wondering if- even after all these decades later- someone will be able to point him out and expose his crime to the world.

I only did a brief amount of research for this, so I’m just waiting for one of the days where a maker of this movie will release a lore drop and pull one of these on me 😭⬇️