silver088

[silver088]

Him.

I met him in ninth grade. I still remember the first time i laid eyes on him. Before classes had begun the school would release the list of students and who else was in their class. I had already known who the new kids were because they had come from my school before. When we made eye contact his eyes widened at the sight of me. Later on i would learn that he was already attracted to me by then. I was friendly to him at first since he was new but as time went by he began to come out of his shell. He was vibrant, friendly, funny, very athletic, outgoing, the kind of person everyone knew. At that time i decided to put some distance because i was easily irritated by his personality. A month later i fell for him but my friend told me he already had a girlfriend. Not long after that they broke up and we got together. Although our relationship was short it was the happiest i had ever been in my entire life. He was perfect. Almost no day went by that he got rid of my mood swings and replaced it with a smile. After we broke up we still saw each other every day. We had this thing where we would stay close to each other but never actually talk. It was like we showed each other that we still had feelings but not say it. Our classmates knew. It was stupid and so dumb i wish i could take it all back and just approach him or text him. COVID arrives and we dont see each other for two years. In that time i had gone insane. I thought about him everyday, literally. And i have reason to believe that because of how much I thought about him he began to think about me too because someone had told me that he visited my neighborhood a lot but i never got out of my room. When classes went back to normal i began to see him again. I became classmates with his friends and i learned that during online classes they kept teasing him that we would get back together. Sadly, things didnt play out that way. He found someone else and i dated his friend—i know its bad but he was fine w it and so were his friends. He and i are broken up but we will see each other in college again. Recently something had happened. I was coming home from the salon and a motorcycle had passed by and the driver said my name, even the taxi driver looked at me through the rear view mirror. I never got a good look at the guy because i didnt wear my glasses but im pretty sure it was him. His neighborhood is right next to mine. Hes still in a relationship tho. I promised myself that i wouldnt bother him until hes single again but i am really hoping that we'll get back together. Its been four years and im still in love with him.

[silver088]

My Fave Book Series

On some random afternoon 9 years ago i was scrolling through YouTube when i found The Mortal Instruments movie. I watched it and fell in love. When i told my sister about it she did some research and found out that it was based on this book series. I did not hesitate to read it. Then i found out there was a prequel called The Infernal Devices, and so i read the trilogy. Over the next few years the author continues the story through other trilogies but nothing compared to The Infernal Devices for me. If you were to arrange the entire Shadowhunter Chronicles in chronological order based on the story itself The Infernal Devices would come first. Set in the 1800's in London the main characters of this trilogy would be the ancestors and parents of the characters of the books to follow. Two of them would actually end up living to the very last trilogy of the chronicles. I have never read nor come across another love triangle like this. It literally touched my heart. This book is gonna make you believe that you can actually love two ppl at the same time with all your heart—but of course its all fiction. Although I've grown out of that 'teenage fantasy fiction romance' bookworm phase of mine, The Infernal Devices will forever remain the best trilogy i have ever read. No other story has caught my heart like this one. With Will's wit that can make your stomach hurt from laughing, Jem's kindness that makes you wanna die for him and Tessa's love for both boys that makes you wonder how that's possible The Infernal Devices will take you into a world where their story never ends.

But, unfortunately, it does.

[silver088]

2018

The worst year of my life.

i had become friends with this girl. we were the kind of friends who were the closest in the group. we were like sisters. i had considered her to be my first ever real best friend. until one time we had this project where the class was divided into groups and we had to role play the stages of a family starting with the parents. my former best friend—lets call her Carrie—had been group mates with her crush at that time and she was crazy for it. in fact, the two of them had actually been chosen to play the couple. for the marriage part of the play the two of them had to exchange rings. Carrie was asked to give one of her rings to her crush and so she did. the problem was the guy never returned the it. one thing you have to know about her crush: he had a girlfriend who was out batch mate and he knew that Carrie had a crush on him. Carrie began to freak out when the guy continuously refused to hand back the ring so she asked for my help. i dont remember exactly what i had told him but after i told Carrie about her conversation she got really mad. i didnt realize how mad she actually was until she stopped answering my messages and ignored me at school. the ring turned out to be a gift from her father who was working overseas and it meant a lot to her. before this whole situation during one of our practices i had noticed Carrie and her crush holding hands so i took a picture of it. i guess it had reached the guys girlfriend because her best friend had reached out to me and asked if it was true and if i had proof. i decided to tell her the truth because i knew that i couldnt just let the girlfriend suffer like that but this just made things worse. the guy now refused to give the ring back ever and this is when all hell breaks lose. Carrie had decided to throw dirt on me by talking to every girl in my class and saying bad things about me forcing me to become a loner. i had become depressed and full of anxiety. so depressed that i started to have dangerous thoughts (nothing happened). i still had to wait 5 months for the school year to end. i was miserable.

we've both graduated now but we were never able to talk about it and clear things out.

[silver088]

In 12th grade there was this girl i didn't like because she had this thing where she would change her voice to make it sound cute. I took it too seriously and let that define who she was. A pick me girl. She actually wanted to be friends with me and thought i was pretty, which, at that time, just made me dislike her more. I made friends with this other girl who was close with the girl i didn't like. If i hadn't kept my distance from her we would've become a trio. For most of the school year i hung out with the other girl. When my birthday came i was disappointed when she wouldn't hang out with me even though i offered to pay for everything. She didn't even greet me a hbd. That was when i realized how contrary we were. We had nothing in common, and i mean nothing. As the school year neared to an end i began to realize her bad side. She had this annoying habit of thinking she was better than me even though the only reason why people knew her was because of myself—she was a new student while i was an old one. I began to distance myself from her and soften up to the girl i didn't like at the beginning. When it all ended i realized the mistake i made. As it turns out, we had things in common. During the entire 10 months of school she always tried to make a move like talk to me or sit near me. She wanted to be friends. So if i hadn't chosen to be such a btch we could've been really good friends :') im sorry. But we're ok now tho and i wish her all the best <33

[silver088]

This is it.

I graduated from a school that I had been attending since kindergarten. I can definitely say that my high school journey was not fulfilling at all. I was neither an academic achiever or the type of student that went out with friends every night having fun. By the time I realized what I had accomplished, which was nothing, I was completely disappointed in myself. The only year i actually considered fun was ninth grade and that was cut short by COVID and i messed up the relationship i had with my first love that has proven damaging to my mental health. On the night of our graduation ball i had shared a moment with this girl i had despised the entire year for a very stupid reason. When i woke up it was too late, the damage had already been done and i had lost a potential life changing friendship all because i judged too easily. On top of that, i spent most of my senior year alone because the isolation from the pandemic hadn't washed out of my system. I basically fucked up my last year as a high school student. When i found out i had been accepted by the university i had applied for i broke down in tears, again—this was the same night as our graduation ball—because i realized it was God telling me that i had a second chance at making up for all the time i had wasted back in high school.

I made a promise to myself. Entering this new world, starting all over again, means I can't make the same mistake twice.