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Mistress 9 (Sailor Moon)

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♄ 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌?

a child’s laugh.

your voice carries a melody. a secret. you are pure. you know pain. you look it in the face and smile. nothing you do will stop it. you will embrace it, let it change you. there’s nothing else you can do. you’re just a kid.

tagged by: @acollapsar ( thank u ! ) tagging: @rosahope @vtriol @yinbug @fatechose @sleetsong

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halloween/fall starters ! 🎃

masterlist of autumn and halloween themed sentence starters! 

​❝ i made pumpkin cookies! want to try one? ❞

​❝ thanks for bringing me to this fall festival. ❞

​❝ let’s go to the fall carnival! ❞

​❝ let’s go get a pumpkin frappucino! ❞

​❝ do you wanna go walk in the leaves with me? ❞

❝ did you cut yourself carving the pumpkin? let me see it. ❞

​❝ how does my pumpkin look? ❞

​❝ we can go get hot chocolate after this movie? ❞

​❝ want to go to this halloween party with me after school? ❞

❝ stay still i’m almost done with your costume. ❞

​❝ let’s paint pumpkins. ❞

❝ hurry up! we’re going to be late for the costume party! ❞

❝ help me decorate! ❞

​❝ let’s open some windows, okay? ❞

​❝ it’s starting to rain… ❞

​❝ bring a jacket! ❞

​❝ i didn’t expect it to get so cold. can i borrow your jacket? ❞

​❝ do we really need to go to a pumpkin patch? can’t we just buy one at the store? ❞

​❝ let’s go pick pumpkins! ❞

​❝ it’s chilly out here, you need a coat. take mine. ❞

​❝ you sound sick. are you sick? ❞

​*throws leaves on your head*

*sneeze* ​❝ sorry, allergies. ❞

​❝ wanna go out for halloween? ❞

​❝ looks like it’s time to rake the leaves… ❞

​❝ let’s go get hot chocolate then go for a walk. ❞

​❝ let’s go trick-or-treating! ❞

❝ let’s go jump in the leaves! ❞

​❝ come in here where it’s dry! ❞

​❝ it’s dark?! already?! ❞

​❝ ooh it’s chilly out. ❞

​❝ please, enough with the pumpkin spice. ❞

​❝ good morning. no, don’t get up, it’s raining, let’s stay in bed a little longer… ❞

❝ did you hear about the werewolf/vampire/witch roaming around this town on halloween night? ❞

❝ let’s go to the haunted house! oh, please, please, please, please?! ❞

❝ i don’t get scared. i’m practically fearless. ❞

❝ did you hear that? ❞

❝ we have to get out of here! ❞

❝ are you going to hide in my shoulder the whole time? or actually watch the movie? ❞

❝ i’m not going in a graveyard. ❞

❝ what did you get? ❞

❝ want to trade candy? ❞

❝ i got a rock. ❞

❝ don’t blame me! it was your idea to come in here! ❞

❝ what are you going as for halloween this year? ❞

❝ i just can’t wait for halloween! ❞

❝ you should totally buy that costume! ❞

❝ trick or treat! ❞

❝ happy halloween! ❞

❝ happy fall! ❞

❝ i wanna make sure that my jack-o-lantern is the best! ❞

❝ i’ll race you through the corn maze! ❞

❝ that guy in the gorilla costume has been following us for the past ten blocks. ❞

❝ aww come on! it was a prank! ❞

❝ please, please, PLEASE no scary movie marathon! ❞

❝ that wasn’t funny! ❞

❝ i keep tripping over my costume. ❞

❝ i’m not sure we should go down that street. ❞

❝ no fair! your costume is getting you more candy. ❞

❝ faster! we need to get to all of the houses! ❞

❝ forget being ‘too old’ to trick or treat. i’m doing this forever! ❞

❝ i don’t like these woods. ❞

❝ i just saw something! ❞

❝ look at that intestine cake! ❞

​❝ i’ll trade you candy. ❞

❝ i’m a real vampire. ❞

❝ do you think stuff really happens on halloween? like..supernatural stuff. ❞

❝ i made us matching costumes! ❞

❝ i think i just saw something move outside your window…is someone watching us? ❞

❝ you’re not going to make me carve this pumpkin all by myself, are you? ❞

❝ did you hear there’s a masquerade ball this halloween? let’s go! ❞

❝ you shouldn’t go out there! ❞

❝ s-scared? me? i’m not..scared. ❞

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“ur so quiet” thanks i do not want to talk to you

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💢💢💢

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be honest....what do you really see in kai?

( be honest. / accepting ! )

well, this certainly wasn’t an ideal question. especially not right now. hotaru still isn’t quite sure where she stands with the young man mentioned, the very thought of the strain between them making the space in her chest tighten. 

& it isn’t the first time this has been asked. her best friend, her parents, hell, even kai’s friends, on occasion - everyone seemed to want to know what she saw in the young blader. she’s always shrugged them off. that’s far easier than explaining why her heart still manages to skip a beat or two each time that deep ruby gaze met hers. hotaru allows herself the opportunity to take a slow breath, eyes averting to the floor. 

❝  more than anyone else who knows him, it seems, ❞ she answers, a hint of ice clinging to the words. she normally didn't allow herself to get defensive when this topic came into conversation. but she’s still so frazzled about everything between the two of them … 

❝  i see that he’s passionate. about … about anything he wants to be passionate about. and i’ve always admired that about him. it’s honestly very refreshing to see someone so … determined. ❞ there’s pride in her tone, but it’s tinted. shadowed by a hint of bitterness. that same passion, that same determination, that drive of his to dedicate himself to that which matters most to him - it’s why they’re in this strange limbo now, isn’t it ? she tries not to think about it too much.

❝ even if others don’t think so - and he would certainly never admit to it himself - he can be kind. and maybe he shouldn’t have been kind to me when we first met, but he was. and he has no idea how much that meant to me in that moment. ❞ there’s a pause, the faintest of smiles flickering over her lips. she still feels silly sometimes, reflecting on their first interactions, her persistence even in the face of his confusion & frustration. hardly a romantic scenario. 

❝  he’s exactly who he says he is - which is also very refreshing. he’s very intelligent and so well-read. on the days where he’s feeling talkative, he just … has the most fascinating perspectives. unique ideas, ones that often challenge my own, and he can be so clever about it ! i’ve loved reading things in his library, just to have something new to hear him talk about. i'm sure he knows i’ve been sneaking a few books with me after i visit, but he’s never said anything, so he probably doesn't mind. ❞ then, a waver - her confidence falters. a few months ago, she could’ve made that statement with certainty. now … now she isn’t quite so sure. 

realizing how long she’s been talking, a rush of pink colors her cheeks. hotaru tucks a curtain of rich black behind her ear, the vibrancy in her violet hues melting away alongside her enthusiasm. 

❝  … i think those reasons are more than enough. at least, they always have been for me. ❞

damn it. she misses him.

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send me "be honest..." with a question your muse has been dying to ask mine and they'll answer truthfully.

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Louise Glück, from "Stars", Poems: 1962–2020

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❝Hotaru-chan! I got this cinnamon roll as a gift for my birthday & don't know who gave it but I can't finish it all by myself. Please, this is for you. Enjoy it! If you would like more for anyone else, please let me know, I am sure I will still have plenty left. ❞

❝ -- huh ? ❞ the sound isn’t particularly elegant, given voice by her confusion & surprise in equal measure. wide amethyst eyes fall from ami’s kindly face to the sweet treat being presented before her. did she miss a shift in social convention somewhere ? isn’t it customary for gifts to be given to the person whose birth is being celebrated, not the other way around ? 

this certainly makes the small gift box of twelve hand-crafted bookmarks feel awkward in her hands. what exactly is she meant to do with them now ? especially if she’s going to be taking a cinnamon roll … 

❝ well, i suppose it’s good timing that i was on my way to you this afternoon, ❞ hotaru acknowledges with a smile, deciding that her questions can wait until later. ❝ this is very generous of you, ami-chan - especially on your own birthday ! thank you for - ❞

okay, well, maybe some of her questions are worth asking now. 

❝ hold on a moment. did you say someone you don’t know gave you these ? ❞

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What is something about my portrayal[s] that sticks out?

Example being; my muses ticks they have, the way they talk, etcetera.

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she's known this feeling before, in a lifetime so near & yet not her own. that familiar sour taste of being left behind, abandoned, forgotten. it's a cold that settles deep, woven into her bones; a cold that no fire could ever provide enough warmth to keep at bay. except, of course, everything about kai has always burned brighter than any fire she’s even known. dangerous, & yet, always able to draw her in again. 

❝ how dare you - ❞ she starts, the words catching on themselves. hotaru tells herself to move, to evade - get away before he can try & lower her guard with this act of tenderness. but the instant the curve of his palm reaches her cheek, her walls begin to crumble. what began as one tear becomes two, becomes more, becomes sadness that hazes her vision & spills over lower lashes too quickly for her to stop.

she wants to be comforted. she wants to let him wipe her tears, wants to lean closer into the calloused warmth of his palm. she wants to close her eyes & forget that these past few months ever happened - he’s just visiting her for the first time in a few days; she’ll lace her fingers through his & allow him to guide her somewhere else, anywhere else. a cafe for lunch, a museum to peruse, any place where it could be just the two of them. 

but of course it’s never that simple. ( things rarely are for her. )

this wasn't worth it. he could say that all he wants, but how could hotaru have ever considered any different ? it was clearly worth it when he didn't consider anything she did to contact him worthy of a reply. she can feel something hot churning in her chest, like a kettle beginning to whistle & scream as its contents boils.

❝ you have no idea how - how worried i was. i thought i did something wrong, i thought you hated me - you just left without a word ! like you didn’t care, like i never meant fucking anything - ❞ it's the first time in weeks she's let herself cry so openly about this. & by the stars does it hurt. but beneath that, beneath the raw anguish that still wants to wail & bare its teeth, there’s relief. she’s earned this.

& perhaps she's being selfish - it's the most self - centered she's allowed her words to be in a long, long time. but she doesn't care. her fingers are around his wrist, feeling the thrum of a pulse just beneath. she wants to push him away. she wants to pull him closer. all she can manage to do is squeeze, as though to give her power over a decision she has no desire to make.

❝ you have no idea what that did to me, ❞ hotaru whispers, the faintest remnants of venom still clinging to her tongue. the explosive wave of her grief has subsided, mellowing once more to barely brush along a battered shoreline. she doesn’t have the energy to maintain that heightened level for more than a moment or two. but proud through it all, her free hand rises to wipe the evidence of distress from her face, a long, shuddering breath escaping her chest. she feels … lighter, at least. not better, but lighter. ❝ if you’d wanted to break up with me, i would’ve preferred if you just said so. instead of - instead of this. ❞

                                   He felt like all of this is wrong. Coming here was wrong. Saying nothing before he left was wrong. EVERYTHING WAS WRONG. & yet, his poor attempt to fix this situation was all he could do. What would have been the better options? Flowers? Candy? Money? As if Kai could do anything of that nonsense with a straight face & not the intent to murder the person who even managed to put him up to this. Granted at this rate, he was willing to do anything (within reason--this is Kai after all). Anything at all to ERASE what he had done.

                                  He could see the infliction of pain he put on her. The was she looked at him, spoke to him, the reluctance to touch him. It made him feel AWKWARD. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be putting her though any more pain. Would this not be deemed SELFISH on his part? Forcing her to face him as he attempts to fix this & soothe his own guilty conscious? No one could tell him that wasn't selfish.

                                     ❛ You should. ❜ He whispered finding himself slightly ANNOYED at her restraint. That made this all the more harder to face. Even after all od this, she was still being NICE to him. As it stood right now, that last thing he deserved, at least in his mind was her KINDNESS. The whining of the dog hadn't been enough of a distraction to bring Kai out of his self imposed stupor & the lack of screaming, crying & cursing at him was even more UNNERVEING. It almost magnified everything even more to him.

                HOW DARE HE EVEN SHOW HIS FACE.                                                     (THEY WERE ALL RIGHT ABOUT YOU)

                                  Hotaru came out closer to him; the door shutting behind them as if to force him into a bubble so he couldn't run. & to add insult to injury, she CONGRATULATED HIM. Even more shit he didn't deserve. (YOU DON'T DESERVE HER). The longer he was made to stand in the self destruction, the more nauseated he felt. Yet, to turn tail & run from her was the COWARDS way out. He had to see this through, even it was the end of everything. The end of THEM.

                             ❛ It wasn't. ❜ Impulse took over & Kai moved closer to her, to the point where if she were to fall, she would be caught without contest. ❛ This-- ❜as he gestures between himself & her with is finger back & forth ❛ wasn't worth it. ❜ The rapid blinking from her caught Kai's eye. He had yet to turn his gaze away; he was told that such a thing rubbed people wrong. His stare was TOO INTENSE. Intense to everyone but her & considering what he had done, there was no way he could even look away. 

                             Kai outstretched his hand & maybe this too much, but the compulsion to stop was no longer as loud as the NEED to feel her skin against his own, even it was brief. His hand cradled the side of his cheek and gently, the pad of his thumb, probably slightly callous from training trace underneath her eye to wipe away whatever tear managed to escape. ❛ This...wasn't worth it. ❜

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🖤 Don’t fear the Reaper 🖤

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What drew you to my blog initially, and what, so far, has made you stay?

Is it the mun’s muses, their writing style, their worldbuilding? Is it the mun themselves? All of the above? Let ‘em know!

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Emily Dickinson, “The Lost Jewel.”